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6 Effective Tips On How To Deal With Fear

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Sooner or later every person asks this question: “How do I deal with fear?”. Fear is one of the most important life lessons every human being learns. Overcoming our fears always makes us stronger. But when we don’t know how to deal with fear it can make our life miserable and destroy us completely.

Life requires the greatest courage. If you are in a state of fear, you do not live, you exist. Living in fear is worse than death. Fear paralyzes you and takes your energy. It is fear that is the root cause of most diseases, as it absorbs a huge amount of energy. There is not a single person on Earth who has not experienced fear or its variations at least once – anxiety, panic, self-doubt, jealousy, etc. That’s why it is so important to know how to deal with fear.

Only brave people can live their lives to the fullest and be happy. However, the paradox is that it is useless to fight fear. Every time we fight against something, we give even more energy to our fear. As a result, it becomes even stronger, and we become weaker.

So how do we deal with fear then? First of all, let’s find out what the nature of fear is.

Understanding The Nature Of Your Fear

Fear is energy, or rather its excessive amount (CHA), which occurs when the object of fear is given excessive importance. Excess energy (CHA) disrupts the balance (LAN) in the energy field and creates a balancing force aimed at its elimination (SO).

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For example, if you are walking on the edge of a cliff and are terrified of falling, the balancing forces will try to eliminate the excess energy in the easiest way. In this way, they will push you into the abyss, thereby ending with you as a carrier of excess energy. However, this option does not suit you, so you try your best to keep yourself calm, resisting the actions of balancing forces. In order to balance the excess energy that fear carries, you begin to put extra effort, as a result of which you will lose even more energy.

If the excess energy contained in fear is large enough, you lose control of it. And then the balancing forces do whatever they want to you. You start to panic and fall into the abyss from the cliff.

So, If  Fight Your Fear Is Useless, What Can We Do Then?

Any fighting is always useless indeed. Especially when we’re talking about our fears. But there is something we can always do about our fears. Let me share with you my tips on how to deal with fear. They can help you to look at your fears from another angle and take control of them.

6 Tips On How To Deal With Fear

1. Reduce the amount of energy you give to fear

When you find yourself in a state of a panic attack, the first thing you should do is to reduce the amount of energy you give to fear as quickly as possible. To do this, you need to quickly switch your attention to something else. In other words, you need to start doing something. The activity does not necessarily have to concern itself. It’s enough to just make yourself busy with something, no matter what. As soon as you begin to actively engage in something abstract, you will feel your fear and anxiety have subsided.

This way you redirect your energy from thoughts to actions. There is no free energy left for feeding your fear, as it has been transformed into action. As a result, you calm down and stop radiating negativity, that as we all know always attracts what you are afraid of.

2. Create a Plan B

My second tip on how to deal with fear is to reduce its excessive importance by creating the so-called “Plan B”. By “Plan B” I mean a backup option. In other words, speculate on what you will do if what you feared will happen? Think about your behavior. And, thus, calm yourself down.

For example, you are afraid to take the exam because you are afraid to “fail” it. Imagine that you have already “failed”. What are you going to do? Most likely, you will retake it. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Even if you do not pass now, next time you will pass for sure. Take the retake as a backup and take it with you to the exam as a “Plan B” option.

girl sitting at the library image

However, do not cling to this option. Just formulate it for yourself, and set it aside. Don’t feed it with your energy. Keep it in your head as a backup option, but visualize at the same time what you want to get ideally – a good score for the exam.

You can use the following affirmation:

“Universe, I trust you completely. I know that you will organize everything in the best way for me anyway. But if possible, please make sure that I pass the exam and get a good grade for it. Thanks!”

3. Observe your fear

My third tip on how to deal with fear is to neutralize it by observing it.

Fear has a significant impact on your life only if you are not able to see yourself from the outside. Look at fear consciously. As soon as you start watching how afraid you are, you will come to realize what is really happening to you. Let yourself be afraid, but do it consciously. In the state of awareness, you do not give energy to your fear, so your negative expectations are not realized.

However, if you start to fight your fear (to force yourself not to be afraid), it means that you attach great importance to it. As a result, you give your energy to fear, due to which it is manifested in your reality.

Thus, it is necessary to stop fighting fear and resist it. Go towards your fear and allow yourself to be scared. Understand that trembling with fear means trying to overcome it. The tremor happens due to the great loss of energy when you begin to attach great importance to your fear. But, when you consciously enter into your fear, you will see how your fear will gradually disappear.

4. Understanding that everything is logical in our Universe

My fourth tip on how to deal with fear is to understand that the Universe never wastes its energy. Everything is logical – it is simply not profitable to spend energy on something that requires large energy costs. Trouble is always associated with high energy costs. And pleasant events, on the contrary, are the norm, and, accordingly, require minimal energy consumption.

When the mind does not understand the law of least resistance, it begins to struggle with the Universe, creating obstacles and new problems. It is the mind, not the Universe! The mind tries to control everything, creating a scenario of undesirable events. And, paradoxically, it is you, and not someone else, scrolling in your head all those thoughts about what you are afraid of and what you do NOT want. And this is how you create for yourself a reality that is full of negative events. Everything is logical – we attract what we reflect.

logical Universe image

The thing is, you don’t know and you can’t know how things are supposed to develop in the Universe for your Highest good. So stop constantly worrying about all the possible scenarios. All you have to do is formulate a firm intention to get what you DO WANT and stop focusing on what you would like to avoid. Trust the Universe – it always organizes everything in the best way for you.

Very soon you will notice that all the circumstances in your life begin to develop favorably, as if by themselves, and without your intervention. It is not profitable for the Universe to make troubles for you, not only because it loves and always cares about you, but, above all, because less energy is spent in this way.

When you are happy and satisfied, you draw energy from your Inner source through the positive vibrations that you yourself radiate. When you worry and panic, being under the influence of your ego, you block the connection with your internal source of energy and begin to “pull” this energy directly from the Universe or from the energy field of the people around you, thereby, committing energy theft and violating the Law of energy exchange in the Universe. Moreover, this energy you spend on your negative emotions, creating, thereby, negative energy radiation on the Earth. Of course, such radiation is extremely unprofitable for the Universe. So to compensate for the energy you took from it, it will give you exactly what resonates with your radiation. If you radiate fear, then, accordingly, you will get exactly what you are so afraid of.

Note:

the Internal source of man contains as much energy as the Universe has given him according to his individual development and needs. The increase in the amount of human energy of the internal source occurs through the disclosure of its internal potential. Negative emotions are a form of blocking of the inner potential, which prevents the flow of energy from the internal source. A person under the influence of negative emotions begins to take energy directly from the universal source or from the energy field of the people around him, which leads to a violation of the law of energy exchange.

The Universe compensates for the “stolen” energy by taking away from a person what is important to him: health, close people, well-being, etc. We always receive energy of exactly the quality that we radiate. Negativity always attracts Negativity.

5. Stop vibrating at the low frequency

young woman smiling image

My fifth tip on how to deal with fear is about offensive people. If you are afraid that you may be offended by a particular person, you need to stop vibrating at the same frequency with him. The one who wants to hurt you emits a low vibration: negative emotions such as aggression, anger, hatred, etc. Because he emits these vibrations, it requires energy to maintain him. Moreover, this energy must be similar to the energy of his emotions – that is, it must also be negative.

The most convenient way to obtain the energy of this quality is to cause fear in his victim. Thus, the victim will give him his energy through the manifestation of fear. This, incidentally, is one of the most common forms of energy vampirism. At the same time, fear always attracts exactly what you are afraid of.

To eliminate this type of fear, it is enough to be really indifferent to a potential offender. Just stop thinking about him, consciously letting him go.

6. Understanding that fear lives in the future

This is my last but very important tip on how to deal with fear. It is very important to realize that fear does not exist in the present moment, it always exists in the future. You are always afraid of something that may happen in the future.

For example, if you are on the edge of a cliff, you are afraid that you may fall. But you will fall in the future, not now. Falling into the abyss even in a second is your future, not the present. In the present moment, you are standing on the edge of a cliff, and you’re not falling into it. In other words, in the present moment, you are doing well.

Or, for example, you are afraid to go to the exam. Realize exactly what you are afraid of. Most likely get a bad score. But even if it happens, it will happen in the future. At this moment you are at home preparing for the exam – right now there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of.

Or, for example, you are afraid of flying on a plane. Be aware of what your fear is specifically associated with. After all, in fact, you are not afraid of the plane, and not even the flight. In fact, you are afraid to die in a plane crash. That is, your real fear is the fear of death, not the plane and not the flight. And now, notice what’s happening in the present moment. You’re sitting in a comfortable airplane seat, the stewardess offers you a cup of tea – there is nothing to be afraid of, everything is good.

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Thus, fear always lives in the future. And if you feel fear, then you live there with it. You’re not in the present moment. So instead of actively fighting your fear, just go back to the present moment. Do it right now. Stop reading this article for a moment and look around. This is your present. Just a moment separates your present from the past and the future. The present moment is fleeting and barely perceptible, but it is from this moment that the whole life develops. There is no life either in the past or in the future, it is only in the present. So enter the present moment totally, feel its presence, and you will see that there is no fear.

The past is gone – it’s dead. There is no future yet – it was not born. Every moment of your life die for your past and be born for the future. You will be able to relax only when the past will cease to pull you back, and the future will stop contracting you in a state of fear. In the present moment, we are calm, relaxed, balanced, immortal. In the present moment, we are in peace and harmony!

Katya Ki is the Founder and Editor-In-Chief of SOLANCHA Magazine, a Feng Shui Master, a Metaphysical Expert, a Reiki Master, and Human Rights Attorney. She has been studying Eastern metaphysics and esotericism for almost 20 years now. And she's still discovering new knowledge, which is hidden in ancient teachings. During her pilgrimage to the monastery of Saint Catherine in Egypt, she discovered the SOLANCHA System. This is how the SOLANCHA journey started!

Personal Development

8 Incredibly Powerful Crystals For Confidence

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In this article, I will share with you the most powerful crystals for confidence, their properties, and how they can help you to build your will power, boost your self-esteem, and manifest your biggest dreams into reality!

In lithotherapy, stones are classified according to their dominant energies. It can be masculine or feminine energy (Yang or Yin). Also taken into account are the proportions of the 4 elements: Fire, Water, Air, and Earth. Based on these characteristics, you can choose the crystals for the development of particular abilities or attracting certain events to your life.

Crystals For Confidence: What Are They?

Confidence is associated with Yang energy and the elements of Fire and Earth. When crystals contain these linds of energy in sufficient amounts, they help their owner to develop willpower, determination, and confidence.

The Most Powerful Crystals For Confidence

#1 Citrine

Citrine image

Because of its shining surface and Golden hue, citrine is traditionally associated with the Sun energy. This beautiful crystal serves as a symbol of the unshakeable core of the personality. Therefore, citrine, like other minerals associated with the Sun energy, contributes to the development of confidence. Moreover, citrine is a mineral that can banish pessimistic thoughts and return the joy of life.

It is suitable for people whose self-doubt is accompanied by melancholy, excessive concern about health, various fears. It is a crystal of optimism. Citrine awakens your deeply hidden “inner child“, and makes you more open, playful, natural. And this more cheerful view of the world, in turn, has a positive impact on self-esteem.

It is best to wear citrine closer to the head. Therefore women can wear citrine earrings, and men – a pendant on a short chain.

#2 Hematite

Hematite crystal image

The name hematite comes from the Greek word “heme”, meaning blood, the essence of human life. This crystal has long been considered a talisman of courage. Medieval warriors wore hematite before important battles. This powerful crystal improves physical health.

It is perfect for those people whose self-doubt is associated with insufficient physical strength, shyness because of their own fragility. In emotional terms, hematite teaches its owner to defend their interests at all costs. Moreover, this crystal for confidence eliminates the fear of detractors and the constant search for approval from others.

#3 Garnet

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It is considered a crystal of passion and willpower. Garnet eliminates shyness and also enhances all feelings associated with sexuality and aggression. It is a crystal of self-confidence. Garnet helps to reveal creative abilities.

It is suitable for those people who suffer from doubts about their own professional or creative competence. This beautiful crystal for confidence helps to cope with the lack of support and faith in your abilities from others. With garnet as a talisman, people gain unshakable confidence in their uniqueness.

Moreover, this powerful crystal is suitable for people who find their appearance unattractive and suffer from it. In ancient times, garnet was revered as a symbol of love and loyalty. An excess of Yang energy and the element of Fire has a positive effect on the male potency. Women wearing garnet jewelry become more liberated in sensual terms.

This crystal is associated with energy centers that are located in the lower part of the body. Therefore, it’s best to wear garnet in a ring or pendant.

#4 Rhodonite

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This beautiful crystal not only increases the energy potential of its owner but also helps to spend this energy in the most constructive way. Most people that wear rhodonite notice that they become more focused and goal-oriented. They start to see clearly their mission and purpose on Earth. Moreover, rhodonite is considered a mineral of renewal and favorable life changes.

Rhodonite has the ability to purify from the negative influence of the past, painful memories, bad habits, and pessimistic thoughts.

#5 Zircon

Zircon gives the feeling of an unshakable inner core inside, which will withstand any life challenges.

If you want to boost your self-confidence then transparent zircon is most effective. It banishes fears and illusions.

This beautiful crystal is suitable for those people who are prone to excessive self-sacrifice for the sake of others. If you temporarily lost yourself in endless attempts to please others, following fashion and playing by other people’s rules, zircon can help you find a way out of this situation. This crystal protects people engaged in intellectual work. It improves concentration, productivity, develops human ingenuity, which has a positive effect on confidence and self-esteem.

#6 Obsidian

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This mineral is essentially a volcanic glass, treated in a special way. Volcanic lava is the perfect expression of the unity of the Fire and Earth elements, and obsidian is abundantly saturated with their influence.

The Fire element awakens creativity, desire to change, and reinforces will. The Earth element helps to see a concrete and practical direction.

Obsidian is a crystal with a strong energy. It is suitable for people who are used to set big goals and are not afraid of change. This powerful crystal tests the person for durability and to those who successfully pass this test, obsidian gives incredible power.

#7 Carnelian

Carnelian image

By activating the first three chakras, Carnelian provides a powerful boost to your confidence, willpower, and self-esteem. If you want to achieve something but have fears and doubts, the carnelian can give you the confidence and willpower to go for it. This beautiful crystal will empower you to build your dream life and reach the most unbelievable goals. With this powerful crystal, you will always feel like anything is possible and achievable!

#8 Sunstone

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This beautiful crystal activates and attunes your Sacral and Solar Plexus chakras to stimulate your creative expression and help you manifest it into physical reality.

Sunstone also promotes leadership and activates the qualities of healthy masculine energy.

Moreover, this powerful crystal for confidence helps you transform and temper negative emotions, like anger, envy or resentment. It can also help you lift your vibration to rise above negative energies that may arise along your spiritual path.

How To Use Crystals For Confidence For Your Meditations?

According to the Indian teachings on the energy structure of the human body, there are several energy centers associated with confidence. One such center is the Solar plexus chakra. This chakra is associated with willpower, determination, and leadership. Therefore, it is very beneficial to work with your Solar plexus chakra if you want to boost your confidence. For doing this, use crystals for confidence during your meditation. Simply place the selected crystal for confidence in your Solar plexus area and visualize how the crystal is balancing your Solar plexus chakra with its energy. Stay in meditation as long as you need it.

Conclusion

When choosing what crystals for confidence to buy, rely on your intuition. Hold the crystal in your hand for a few minutes and try to feel its energy. If it gets hot, it is the sign that the crystal is calling for you. A slight pulsation coming from the crystal is the sign that the vibrations of the crystal are suitable for you. Buying jewelry or crystal, it is important not to regret its cost. Emotions should only be positive.

I hope this article was helpful for you and now you can find a perfect crystal that will boost your confidence and self-esteem!

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Personal Development

How To Forgive Someone Who Has Deeply Hurt You

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Each of us, regardless of age and life experience, have been hurt by other people. Sometimes it’s easy to forgive and let go of your resentment. But there are situations that hurt us so deeply that we can’t let go of the pain that takes away our energy and inner peace. If you feel hurt and think that it’s definitely not easy for you to forgive someone who has caused you pain then this article can be helpful. I’ll share with you how to forgive by using different effective techniques for letting go of your resentment.

Why Do We Need to Forgive?

Before I start going into different forgiveness techniques I want you to have a clear understanding of why you need to forgive. Often, I hear people saying: “Why do I need to forgive if the person who hurt me never even apologized?”. And this is a good question! By answering this question I want to give you a list of very serious reasons why you need to learn how to forgive.

10 Reasons Why We Need to Learn How to Forgive

#1 Forgiveness allows us to take responsibility for our own happiness

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Everything that we attract into our lives is just a reflection of our inner world. Our thoughts and actions create our environment. The law of attraction teaches us that we always attract what we radiate.

When we radiate anger and resentment (even on the subconscious level), we make our way, also filled with anger and resentment. Our feelings and emotions are the building blocks for our future.

In other words, if you feel negative emotions towards someone, eventually you will attract these kinds of emotions towards you. Therefore, focusing on something negative will always bring more negativity in your life.

#2 Forgiveness helps us to develop

Family members, husbands, wives, friends, bosses, etc. — all come into our lives so we can learn more about ourselves. Other people are a reflection of our hidden selves. Each person that you meet is a teacher who has come into your life with a special mission – to show you your hidden blocks or to teach you to forgive, to love, to be more compassionate or patient.

By thanking people for being part of your journey and teaching you invaluable life lessons, you will take a huge step toward expanding your consciousness.

If you have a “broken heart” after breaking up with your partner, forgiveness will help you to avoid repeating this unpleasant scenario in the future. If you learn how to forgive the betrayal from your beloved and all the pain he/she caused then you learn that karmic lesson and will never repeat it again in your future relationship. By going through lesson after lesson, you will expand your consciousness that will allow you to avoid repeating the same unpleasant experience over and over again.

#3 Forgiveness helps us stop being the victim

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When you learn how to forgive and be grateful for your karmic lessons, you will finally stop being the victim. Each of us has the gift of creating our own reality. However, you can’t be both – the victim and the Master of your life. When you blame someone else for your problems, when you have resentment towards someone, when you’re angry and mad, you automatically give the other person control of your life and thus choose the role of the victim.

Therefore, if you want to build your life according to your own rules, if you want to choose your destiny and be the Creator of your own reality, then you need to take responsibility for every situation that happens in your world. Instead of blaming others, take a closer look at yourself, your subconscious fears and insecurities, your blocked emotions and feelings. You need to learn your “dark side” and find out what hidden parts of you attracted certain scenarios and people’s behaviors.

Only through self-knowledge can you stop being a victim and become responsible for your own life.

#4 Forgiveness helps us to understand that most people do their best

Treat other people with understanding and empathy. Their actions may be incomprehensible to you, but most people do their best according to their level of awareness and understanding of their surroundings.

#5 Forgiveness helps to be forgiven

We are all human beings and capable of making mistakes. And deep down, we all hope for forgiveness for ourselves. When we forgive others for their actions and the pain they caused us, we create the space in which our wrong actions (conscious or unconscious) against other people will also be forgiven.

The law of attraction works in the way that if we give something, eventually, we will get it back. So, if you offer somebody your forgiveness, eventually, when you need it most, you will be forgiven too.

#6 Forgiveness helps to take control of ego and pride

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Most spiritual teachers would agree with me saying that ego and pride are the biggest obstacles on your spiritual path. It’s extremely difficult to take control of them. Therefore, most spiritual traditions have an endless number of practices helping to gain that control.

However, the most effective lesson that life can give you to test your ego is to put you into the situation when you’re deeply hurt. The whole situation of feeling resentment is a wonderful life lesson that helps you to destroy your ego and pride. You see, if you have too much pride you will never be able to forgive. Forgiveness takes compassion, love, and empathy which are opposite to ego and pride.

#7 Forgiveness creates space for new relationships

By forgiving and letting go, we create a space that we can fill with new people, relationships, and feelings.

#8 Forgiveness removes the separation

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When we have resentment towards someone we create a life that makes us feel like we are not safe. Subconsciously, we feel that we are not protected, insecure, that something bad can happen at any moment. You see, resentment creates disconnection that leads to a conflict with the Universe. Our entire Universe is built on the oneness. And any separation that happens in the macro or micro-world leads to a disaster.

Resentment is an act of separation in our 3D world. Oppositely, forgiveness itself is an act of reuniting and of recognition of oneness with all people and the world we live in.

#9 Resentment can cause cancer

A huge body of evidence has connected cancer with emotional health, and specifically to high-stress levels, a chronic feeling of resentment (suppressed anger) to cancer.

“Extremely low anger scores have been noted in numerous studies of patients with cancer. Such low scores suggest suppression, repression, or restraint of anger. There is evidence to show that suppressed anger can be a precursor to the development of cancer, and also a factor in its progression after diagnosis” [source].

“Extreme suppression of anger was the most commonly identified characteristic of 160 breast cancer patients who were given a detailed psychological interview and self-administered questionnaire” [source]

#10 Forgiveness keeps us away from hurting others

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Have you heard the saying: “Hurt people hurt people”? We all are capable of hurting others as long as we have resentment. Only people that deeply hurt can reflect their pain on others. You see, you always give people what you’re made of. If you are made of love, you will radiate love, and people around you become more loving. But if you hold resentment, you spread the pain that caused it, and people around you will eventually become victims of your destructive pain. Usually, it is our families, friends and the closest people that suffer from our suppressed anger.

Therefore, if you want the people you love to be happy, give them a gift of forgiveness.

5 Spiritual Tools For Forgiveness

#1 Prayer

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Regardless of whether you belong to any religion or not, prayer is a very powerful spiritual tool to forgive someone.

For performing forgiveness prayer, imagine the offender mentally and repeatedly say the following words:

“With gratitude, love and Divine help, I forgive you (name) and accept you for who you are completely.

I apologize to you (Name) for provoking you with my thoughts or actions (conscious or unconscious) to hurt me. I also apologize to you (Name) for negative emotions, thoughts, and actions towards you.

I’m grateful for the karmic lesson that I learned with your help. I’m grateful for your assistance on my spiritual journey.

I’m taking full responsibility for this situation and letting you go!”

#2 Meditation

Daily Prayer And Meditation Image

Find a comfortable place where no one will disturb you. Close your eyes, relax.

Once you are completely relaxed, imagine that you are in a darkened theater hall. There is a small stage in front of you. Now visualize the person you want to forgive.

When you see this person clearly, imagine that something good is happening to him/her, something that is of great importance to this person. Visualize this person smiling and happy. Hold this image in your mind for a few minutes, and then let it disappear.

Now visualize yourself on that stage. Imagine that something good happened to you. Imagine yourself happy and smiling.

Now concentrate on the idea that there are enough good things in the Universe for all of us. When you feel that your concentration is going away, finish the meditation.

This exercise dissolves the dark clouds of accumulated resentment. Some will find this exercise very difficult. However, consistent practice will make this meditation easier and easier. Do this meditation once a day for a month and see how much easier your life will become.

#3 Making a List

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Write on a piece of paper the names of all the people you think have ever hurt you. Next to each person’s name, write what they did to you and what you resent them for.

Then close your eyes, relax, and one by one visualize each person. Hold a small conversation with each of them and explain to them that in the past you felt anger or resentment towards them, but now intend to do everything in your power to forgive them for everything. Give them your blessing and say: “I forgive you and let you go. Be happy.”

When you are done with this process, write on that piece of paper, “Now I forgive and let you all go”. Burn that piece of paper as a symbol that you are freed from these experiences of the past.

#4 Karmic Relationship Healing Practice

It is a very powerful practice that is aimed at the liberation from negative energy cords to a particular person. I would say that this is the most effective way to heal yourself from resentment and any negative emotions towards other people. To learn more about this practice read my article “Karmic Relationship Healing: Effective Practice To Let Your Past Go!”.

The Bottom Line

Paulo Coelho Forgiveness Quote Image

Representatives of different religions, as well as numerous psychologists and spiritual teachers, talk about the importance of forgiveness. They all agree on one thing – if the offender appeared in your life, there is a reason for it. This means that for some reason we need to go through this difficult and painful lesson, just for learning how to love and forgive regardless of circumstances.

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Personal Development

Emotional Healing From Narcissistic Abuse: Start Living Again

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Are you starting to rebuild your self-worth after a prolonged narcissistic abuse? First, congratulations! It takes lots of courage to do so. Not all victims experience emotional healing from narcissistic abuse. Besides, unless you consciously seek emotional healing from narcissistic abuse, you can quickly turn from being a victim to a perpetrator. So, where do you start?

Call the Abuse for What It Is

The first step toward emotional healing from narcissistic abuse is to put a label to the abuse you went through. Call it out for what it is!

When you have been a victim of narcissistic abuse, acknowledge what happened, to start your healing process. Remember, narcissists will do all they can to prevent you from dealing with this hurt. Hence, the second step.

Detach Yourself from the Narcissist

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Sometimes a narcissist creates an environment that is not conducive for emotional healing. Since they see their actions as fair, they will try as much as possible to convince you that what they did to you is okay.

Moreover, as long as you are in this toxic environment, it will be almost impossible to heal from the abuse. Hence, change your surroundings.

For example, you can start by deleting their links from all your social media profiles. You can also block them from texting or calling you.

Similarly, if you can physically get away from this person, then here are a few ideas you can use:

  • First, take a weekend vacation away from an abusive partner.
  • Secondly, request for a job transfer from a narcissist boss.
  • Thirdly, switch classes to another teacher.

In other words, do all that it takes to separate yourself from the source of the abuse. 

Set Clear Boundaries

Emotional Healing From Narcissistic Abuse Clear Boundaries Image

Do you still trust the person who inflicted pain on you? How often do you make independent decisions about yourself? Narcissistic abuse often happens when one has total trust in the perpetrator.

The victim puts his/her guard down, allowing the abuser to inflict pain on them. Hence, start setting clear boundaries about what is and is not acceptable to you. Let the narcissist know when they cross these boundaries and demand a change in their behavior.

If need be, seek assistance from someone that you both trust and respect.

Detoxify

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Living with a narcissist has a long-term emotional drain on the victims. This drain is particularly hard on empaths who tend to absorb all negative energy coming their way as their own. Hence, as part of the healing process, you need to cleanse your energy and mind first.

You can achieve this through meditation, using crystals for healing, full body massage, and other relaxation techniques. Get in touch with nature and let its positive energy impact on you once again.

Forgive Yourself

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Now that you can separate yourself from the abuse and the abuser, what do we mean when we talk about emotional healing from narcissistic abuse?

Often, as a victim of narcissistic abuse, you may blame yourself for what happened to you. It’s understandable to feel that way. Still, don’t dwell too much on self-pity and hate. Note that you are an ordinary person who did all you could to protect yourself.

Since the narcissist is a natural manipulator, your efforts may not have been adequate to shield you from harm. He/she may have used your traits against you. It’s okay. It was not your fault. Hence, learn to forgive yourself.

Besides, now you know the games narcissists play. Plan not to be a victim in the future.

Take Responsibility

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Once you have acknowledged the abuse, and forgiven yourself, take responsibility for what you may have overlooked. Despite being a victim, deep down in your heart, you may have ignored that feeling that kept reminding you something was not right.

Take a step back and think of the series of events that led to the abuse. Was there anything you would have done differently? 

For example, did you feel that this is not the person you want to marry, and despite your parents’ advice against it, you still went ahead with the wedding? Or, did you cheer on the narcissist because he/she was showering you with expensive gifts?

Learn from these mistakes and promise not to do them again.

Focus on the Future

Emotional Healing From Narcissistic Abuse Clear Boundaries Bright Future Image

You made it through the narcissistic abuse. Now, get back to planning your future. This step is essential in helping you detach with your painful past. Do this by dedicating quality time to self-improvement.

Dream again!

Start your day with some uplifting quotes or positive affirmations! Save up for that long summer vacation that your partner never wanted you to go. Go back to school and refresh or learn a new skill. Love yourself.

Help Others through Their Healing Process

One other way to attain emotional healing from narcissistic abuse is by helping other victims heal from their wounds. This way, you’ll get to share your experience and discuss ways of coping as a group.

Take part in group meditation and therapy sessions. Be conscious of what is happening around you and swing to action whenever you need to.

Conclusion

Emotional healing from a narcissistic abuse may seem impossible, especially if you’ve been going through it for so long that you lost touch with reality. Still, you can always start your journey to recovery even now. Start by acknowledging that you are a victim and keep off from the narcissist. I hope these tips will help you know what to do to make your healing process successful. Use these tips also to avoid a similar narcissistic abuse in the future.

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