Personal Development

6 Effective Tips On How To Deal With Fear

Published

4 years ago

April 22, 2019

Katya Ki

Sooner or later every person asks this question: “How do I deal with fear?”. Fear is one of the most important life lessons every human being learns. Overcoming our fears always makes us stronger. But when we don’t know how to deal with fear it can make our life miserable and destroy us completely.

Life requires the greatest courage. If you are in a state of fear, you do not live, you exist. Living in fear is worse than death. Fear paralyzes you and takes your energy. It is fear that is the root cause of most diseases, as it absorbs a huge amount of energy. There is not a single person on Earth who has not experienced fear or its variations at least once – anxiety, panic, self-doubt, jealousy, etc. That’s why it is so important to know how to deal with fear.

Only brave people can live their lives to the fullest and be happy. However, the paradox is that it is useless to fight fear. Every time we fight against something, we give even more energy to our fear. As a result, it becomes even stronger, and we become weaker.

So how do we deal with fear then? First of all, let’s find out what the nature of fear is.

Understanding The Nature Of Your Fear

Fear is energy, or rather its excessive amount (CHA), which occurs when the object of fear is given excessive importance. Excess energy (CHA) disrupts the balance (LAN) in the energy field and creates a balancing force aimed at its elimination (SO).

fears image

For example, if you are walking on the edge of a cliff and are terrified of falling, the balancing forces will try to eliminate the excess energy in the easiest way. In this way, they will push you into the abyss, thereby ending with you as a carrier of excess energy. However, this option does not suit you, so you try your best to keep yourself calm, resisting the actions of balancing forces. In order to balance the excess energy that fear carries, you begin to put extra effort, as a result of which you will lose even more energy.

If the excess energy contained in fear is large enough, you lose control of it. And then the balancing forces do whatever they want to you. You start to panic and fall into the abyss from the cliff.

So, If Fight Your Fear Is Useless, What Can We Do Then?

Any fighting is always useless indeed. Especially when we’re talking about our fears. But there is something we can always do about our fears. Let me share with you my tips on how to deal with fear. They can help you to look at your fears from another angle and take control of them.

6 Tips On How To Deal With Fear

1. Reduce the amount of energy you give to fear

When you find yourself in a state of a panic attack, the first thing you should do is to reduce the amount of energy you give to fear as quickly as possible. To do this, you need to quickly switch your attention to something else. In other words, you need to start doing something. The activity does not necessarily have to concern itself. It’s enough to just make yourself busy with something, no matter what. As soon as you begin to actively engage in something abstract, you will feel your fear and anxiety have subsided.

This way you redirect your energy from thoughts to actions. There is no free energy left for feeding your fear, as it has been transformed into action. As a result, you calm down and stop radiating negativity, that as we all know always attracts what you are afraid of.

2. Create a Plan B

My second tip on how to deal with fear is to reduce its excessive importance by creating the so-called “Plan B”. By “Plan B” I mean a backup option. In other words, speculate on what you will do if what you feared will happen? Think about your behavior. And, thus, calm yourself down.

For example, you are afraid to take the exam because you are afraid to “fail” it. Imagine that you have already “failed”. What are you going to do? Most likely, you will retake it. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Even if you do not pass now, next time you will pass for sure. Take the retake as a backup and take it with you to the exam as a “Plan B” option.

girl sitting at the library image

However, do not cling to this option. Just formulate it for yourself, and set it aside. Don’t feed it with your energy. Keep it in your head as a backup option, but visualize at the same time what you want to get ideally – a good score for the exam.

You can use the following affirmation:

“Universe, I trust you completely. I know that you will organize everything in the best way for me anyway. But if possible, please make sure that I pass the exam and get a good grade for it. Thanks!”

3. Observe your fear

My third tip on how to deal with fear is to neutralize it by observing it.

Fear has a significant impact on your life only if you are not able to see yourself from the outside. Look at fear consciously. As soon as you start watching how afraid you are, you will come to realize what is really happening to you. Let yourself be afraid, but do it consciously. In the state of awareness, you do not give energy to your fear, so your negative expectations are not realized.

However, if you start to fight your fear (to force yourself not to be afraid), it means that you attach great importance to it. As a result, you give your energy to fear, due to which it is manifested in your reality.

Thus, it is necessary to stop fighting fear and resist it. Go towards your fear and allow yourself to be scared. Understand that trembling with fear means trying to overcome it. The tremor happens due to the great loss of energy when you begin to attach great importance to your fear. But, when you consciously enter into your fear, you will see how your fear will gradually disappear.

4. Understanding that everything is logical in our Universe

My fourth tip on how to deal with fear is to understand that the Universe never wastes its energy. Everything is logical – it is simply not profitable to spend energy on something that requires large energy costs. Trouble is always associated with high energy costs. And pleasant events, on the contrary, are the norm, and, accordingly, require minimal energy consumption.

When the mind does not understand the law of least resistance, it begins to struggle with the Universe, creating obstacles and new problems. It is the mind, not the Universe! The mind tries to control everything, creating a scenario of undesirable events. And, paradoxically, it is you, and not someone else, scrolling in your head all those thoughts about what you are afraid of and what you do NOT want. And this is how you create for yourself a reality that is full of negative events. Everything is logical – we attract what we reflect.

logical Universe image

The thing is, you don’t know and you can’t know how things are supposed to develop in the Universe for your Highest good. So stop constantly worrying about all the possible scenarios. All you have to do is formulate a firm intention to get what you DO WANT and stop focusing on what you would like to avoid. Trust the Universe – it always organizes everything in the best way for you.

Very soon you will notice that all the circumstances in your life begin to develop favorably, as if by themselves, and without your intervention. It is not profitable for the Universe to make troubles for you, not only because it loves and always cares about you, but, above all, because less energy is spent in this way.

When you are happy and satisfied, you draw energy from your Inner source through the positive vibrations that you yourself radiate. When you worry and panic, being under the influence of your ego, you block the connection with your internal source of energy and begin to “pull” this energy directly from the Universe or from the energy field of the people around you, thereby, committing energy theft and violating the Law of energy exchange in the Universe. Moreover, this energy you spend on your negative emotions, creating, thereby, negative energy radiation on the Earth. Of course, such radiation is extremely unprofitable for the Universe. So to compensate for the energy you took from it, it will give you exactly what resonates with your radiation. If you radiate fear, then, accordingly, you will get exactly what you are so afraid of.

Note:

the Internal source of man contains as much energy as the Universe has given him according to his individual development and needs. The increase in the amount of human energy of the internal source occurs through the disclosure of its internal potential. Negative emotions are a form of blocking of the inner potential, which prevents the flow of energy from the internal source. A person under the influence of negative emotions begins to take energy directly from the universal source or from the energy field of the people around him, which leads to a violation of the law of energy exchange.

The Universe compensates for the “stolen” energy by taking away from a person what is important to him: health, close people, well-being, etc. We always receive energy of exactly the quality that we radiate. Negativity always attracts Negativity.

5. Stop vibrating at the low frequency

young woman smiling image

My fifth tip on how to deal with fear is about offensive people. If you are afraid that you may be offended by a particular person, you need to stop vibrating at the same frequency with him. The one who wants to hurt you emits a low vibration: negative emotions such as aggression, anger, hatred, etc. Because he emits these vibrations, it requires energy to maintain him. Moreover, this energy must be similar to the energy of his emotions – that is, it must also be negative.

The most convenient way to obtain the energy of this quality is to cause fear in his victim. Thus, the victim will give him his energy through the manifestation of fear. This, incidentally, is one of the most common forms of energy vampirism. At the same time, fear always attracts exactly what you are afraid of.

To eliminate this type of fear, it is enough to be really indifferent to a potential offender. Just stop thinking about him, consciously letting him go.

6. Understanding that fear lives in the future

This is my last but very important tip on how to deal with fear. It is very important to realize that fear does not exist in the present moment, it always exists in the future. You are always afraid of something that may happen in the future.

For example, if you are on the edge of a cliff, you are afraid that you may fall. But you will fall in the future, not now. Falling into the abyss even in a second is your future, not the present. In the present moment, you are standing on the edge of a cliff, and you’re not falling into it. In other words, in the present moment, you are doing well.

Or, for example, you are afraid to go to the exam. Realize exactly what you are afraid of. Most likely get a bad score. But even if it happens, it will happen in the future. At this moment you are at home preparing for the exam – right now there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of.

Or, for example, you are afraid of flying on a plane. Be aware of what your fear is specifically associated with. After all, in fact, you are not afraid of the plane, and not even the flight. In fact, you are afraid to die in a plane crash. That is, your real fear is the fear of death, not the plane and not the flight. And now, notice what’s happening in the present moment. You’re sitting in a comfortable airplane seat, the stewardess offers you a cup of tea – there is nothing to be afraid of, everything is good.

fear of flying image

Thus, fear always lives in the future. And if you feel fear, then you live there with it. You’re not in the present moment. So instead of actively fighting your fear, just go back to the present moment. Do it right now. Stop reading this article for a moment and look around. This is your present. Just a moment separates your present from the past and the future. The present moment is fleeting and barely perceptible, but it is from this moment that the whole life develops. There is no life either in the past or in the future, it is only in the present. So enter the present moment totally, feel its presence, and you will see that there is no fear.

The past is gone – it’s dead. There is no future yet – it was not born. Every moment of your life die for your past and be born for the future. You will be able to relax only when the past will cease to pull you back, and the future will stop contracting you in a state of fear. In the present moment, we are calm, relaxed, balanced, immortal. In the present moment, we are in peace and harmony!

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Katya Ki

Katya Ki is the Founder of SOLANCHA Magazine, a Metaphysical Expert, a Reiki Master, and Human Rights Attorney. She has been studying Eastern metaphysics, cosmology, and esotericism for almost 20 years now. And she's still discovering new knowledge, which is hidden in ancient teachings. During her pilgrimage to the monastery of Saint Catherine in Egypt, she discovered the SOLANCHA System. This is how the SOLANCHA journey started!

Personal Development

What is Ego Death? How and Why Does It Happen?

Published

3 weeks ago

November 8, 2022

SOLANCHA STAFF

Humans associate death with darkness, sorrow, and pain. It is just something many people are scared of. However, ego death goes the opposite way. The death of your ego comes with enlightenment, self-exploration, and going beyond the glass ceiling.

In simpler terms, the ego is the sense of self typically developed in earlier ages. It is a biological tool that helps us understand ourselves as separate beings. The problem appears when the ego takes on a level of programming that begins to impede the quality of life we live. This is why many people believe it needs to die.

But first:

What is Ego Death?

Many people think that ego death happens when we strip ourselves of the ego and live without it. No, the ego cannot die. What happens is that it becomes submissive to the awareness and direction of our higher selves so that it no longer controls our lives. The experience temporarily and instantaneously goes beyond and above our identities. By shifting your awareness above the perspective of the ego, you begin to realize that you are not the things you have identified with before.

The death of your ego comes with much self-awakening and peace; you want to experience it. It is one of the most beautiful experiences you could have if you truly understand your spiritual path. Such an experience, however, may feel horrific for people who do not understand their spiritual path or people who resist the experience.

Why Seek It?

People are now going out of their way to experience ego death. It has become part of the spiritual journey for many people.

Here are some reasons to seek an ego death experience:

#1: Improved self-control

People often think that ego death is just for people unsatisfied with their mental wellness. Even if you are confident with your state, its demise can change your perception, eventually leading you to much clarity and success.

#2: Easier time breaking even

Our perception and identification limit us from going to other levels. Our ego keeps us in a mindset that limits us. It may feel like we are living in an unknown shell. Detaching yourself from the ego or shrinking it will allow you to crush your current sense of self that limits your abilities.

#3: Acquire a new you

We often have a rigid way of identifying ourselves. You will easily break even if you realize you differ from the sum of the labels you previously put on yourself. You will be in a much more powerful position to question things you believe in and go out of your way to seek peace and clarity. It is an excellent tool for breaking world constructs such as race or religion, which are often deeply rooted in mind and consciousness.

Stages of Ego Death

The death of the ego is different for everyone. This all starts from the triggers of the first stages and later the intense stages before you fully settle into the awakening. The first triggers may differ, but as the experience progresses, the stages become identical.

Here are the stages you will most likely go through:

Stage 1: Spiritual awakening

The ego is deeply rooted in your spiritual being. The first step is your awakening from the ego’s power over you.

Stage 2: Dark night of the soul

In this second stage, you seek to understand things. This is after you accept the awakening that comes with the first stage. This stage is characterized by questioning things that now appear different from what they did before. It can be a confusing stage as many things now start revealing themselves to you.

Stage 3: Exploration and curiosity

In the third stage, you explore more to fill the void in your soul and being. This stage allows you to live in a space of more peace and enlightenment.

Stage 4: Soul growth and enlightenment

This stage allows you to settle in your newly found peace and awakening. Here, you have explored yourself profoundly and now know more about your true self. You will realize that you have already let go of many of your old patterns and habits. This stage has no fighting and battling with your ego, as you already have your new true identity.

How to Achieve Ego Death?

You need to understand some things before you seek to kill your ego. For instance, why do you want to experience it? Understand that a spiritual ego is not something casual. You want to go in entirely understanding why you want to do it and the consequences of taking the path.

Many people intentionally seek ego death. Deliberately seeking it can be dangerous; proceed with caution. Ensure you are ready for it before you dive right in. If you are sure of your intentions, you can take the paths that lead to the death of your ego.

With all this imperatively said and done, you can proceed and trigger an ego death. Here are some of the ways people do it:

Attending spiritual retreats and workshops that guide you through it;
Performing specific types of breathing exercises and meditation practices;
Following the teachings of spiritual teachers rooted in spiritual awakening;
Entering altered states of consciousness, which may involve meditation, dancing, chanting, and other mystical paths;
Getting involved in mystical, spiritual traditions that offer pathways to ego death.

What Does the Death of Ego Feel Like?

You might want to know what ego death feels like before you go for it. Your feelings will definitely be intense. It may feel horrific or exciting, or an alternation between the two. People often experience both extremes while undergoing this death.

What Next?

After an ego death comes rebirth. A new you will be born with no barriers that limit your journey and abilities. Such death powerfully awakens the mind making your life change forever.

Ego death is not the end of spiritual awakening but rather a new beginning of deeper purpose and meaning.

Personal Development

Self-limiting Beliefs: How to Overcome Fear and Break Our Limitations

Published

1 month ago

October 28, 2022

SOLANCHA STAFF

Earlier in life, I was always afraid of senior career positions. I used to apply for junior and entry-level jobs even after many years of employment because I didn’t believe I could handle the senior ranks. Yet each time a senior position became vacant, I was the first person the boss would contact. They saw my potential, but I could never see it because of my self-limiting beliefs.

Eventually, I would find a reason to decline the promotion. What are you struggling with?

Believe it or not, we all battle with self-limiting beliefs. Are you fearful of signing up for that mortgage because you’re so scared you might not pay it fully? Or is committing to a relationship an uphill task for you?

In this article, I will discuss this fear within us and share practical tips for overcoming these self-limiting beliefs.

What are Self-limiting Beliefs?

Fact: There are no limits to what you can achieve except for the limits you set in your mind. And this is what sets humans apart. Some people become iconic leaders while others amass massive wealth, yet some still struggle in life. This is one way of looking at it. For you and me, think of the small challenges you encounter in life. Are you truly incapable of handling them, or are you just afraid of trying and failing?

Self-limiting beliefs are self-developed thoughts, consciously or subconsciously, that we use to convince ourselves that we can’t do something because we are afraid of failing or getting hurt. Consequently, we don’t even allow ourselves to try. Such limiting thoughts are one of the biggest preventers of achieving our goals. And that’s why we need to learn to control and eventually overcome them. So how do we do that?

Practical Steps to Overcome Self-limiting Beliefs

#1: Identify Your Limiting Belief(s)

What are you so afraid of and why?

Are you scared of getting married because your father abused your mom?
Are you afraid of getting kids because your parents abandoned you when you were little?
Are you afraid of management positions at work because you feel voiceless?

Identifying your self-made limits is your first step to overcoming them. You will need to use your intelligence and accept vulnerability, more like healing your inner child.

#2: Work On Your Confidence

There are several ways to develop self-confidence. The easiest is the use of positive affirmations. The idea is to re-condition your mind into believing what you had otherwise categorized as impossible. You could also apply the law of attraction. Anything you focus your mind on without a shred of doubt eventually comes to be. If you constantly think about boldness, confidence, and assertion, you eventually become bolder, more confident, and more assertive.

Self-confidence enables us to move out of our comfort zone. We are no longer afraid to try because we believe in our potential. And even if you fail, you believe you can win tomorrow. Besides, you become your own cheerleader and no longer seek approval from others. That’s how powerful we become when we are confident from the inside.

#3: Set New Goals

Be realistic and set achievable targets. However, always have one clear goal at all times that you’re working towards. That goal should be the most significant on your list. Also, note that big goals are good, but they can demotivate you. Divide these goals into smaller tasks that you can easily achieve.

For every achievement, your mind registers a win and naturally handles the next task with ease. This way, you find yourself accomplishing tasks you never imagined were possible and consequently become unstoppable in achieving your lifelong dreams.

#4: Challenge Your Thoughts

Why do you give yourself bad labels such as “I am stupid, slow, worthless, ugly, useless,” etc.? Is it because someone in your past called you that? Did they really have a solid basis to give you that label? How well do they know you? Have they seen the woman or man you have become lately?

Asking your inner self such questions helps you to look at the other side of the coin. For example, just because my skin has acne doesn’t mean I’m ugly. It’s just one of the many stages in life. And just because I have mobility challenges doesn’t mean I am useless. I still have the brain and hands to write my next bestseller. Challenge your thoughts, whether good or bad, and you will realize that not every gospel you hear is factual.

#5: Develop an Alternative Plan

We don’t have control over our limiting beliefs because they provide a soft fallback. We don’t take risks because we fear getting hurt or hurting others. Say, for example, you’re afraid of getting kids because you’re scared you’ll never be a good mom. Instead of dwelling on being single for the rest of your life, how about you start accommodating other kids in your home and see how well you nurture them?

You can request your siblings or friends to drop off their toddlers over the weekend and dedicate your energy to looking after them just as if they were your own. After a few months, your natural motherly instincts will start to kick in, and who knows, you might start looking at kids differently.

If you’re afraid of public speaking because you feel invisible or you’re afraid your voice is not good enough, how about you start by recording podcasts?

Or, if you constantly feel worthless, how about starting a small project that gives you a sense of belonging? Like donating your coffee to a homeless person every morning. Or helping an elderly neighbor water their flowers every weekend.

The Bottom Line

It’s very easy to develop self-limiting beliefs, especially with a rough childhood or a traumatic past. Our mind is constantly working to protect our fragile ego from getting hurt again. However, the sooner you realize how much you have been missing in your quest to play safe, the sooner you need to break these limiting thoughts and redefine yourself. Your potential starts and ends in your mind. Dare to dream again and develop unshakable confidence because only you can do it.

Personal Development

8 Signs You Are a Free Spirit Who Can Never Be Tamed

Published

1 month ago

October 18, 2022

Katya Ki

If you are a free spirit, chances are you struggle to fit in your family or friend’s circles. That is normal. See, as a true spirit, you value your freedom over complacency. You would rather dictate the terms of your life than conform to societal norms.

Well, this nonconformist attitude to life is never free of cost. You may have to get out of your comfort zone, let go of your societal security, look different, and even suffer harm. But, how do you know if you are a free spirit and not just a rebellious person?

This article will discuss the 8 common signs to guide you.

But first:

Understanding the Free Spirit

A free spirit starts from the mind. You live free of domination from any oppressive thoughts, ideas, or notions imposed on you by others. Unlike rebellion, true freedom is about respectfully liberating your mind and body, to coexist with others at peace.

Likewise, a free spirit will not replace one oppressive thought with another. Instead, this person seeks the truth and lives by it. For example, many celebrities that claim to be free spirits are doing so superficially. They may still ascribe to certain notions that are oppressive to their audience. Like the idea of going organic but allowing the use of plastics from a certain brand.

The Signs

If you are a true free spirit, then you can relate to most of the signs below: –

#1: Strong Desire for Freedom

Did you ever quit a well-paying job to pursue a digital nomad lifestyle that pays less than half of your salary? Your strong desire to be free and set your lifestyle standards indicates a truly free-spirited person. See, free-spirited people make lifestyle decisions that prioritize their freedoms.

#2: Abhor Restrictions

In line with a desire for freedom, free spirits despise any restrictions imposed by others in their lives. If you are one, you could be struggling with committing to a deadline, target, or relationship.

And for the career persons, free spirits hop from one organization to another, dreading to be confined at one company for too long. Here, the free spirit struggles to commit to another person or purpose but looks forward to waking up to new challenges or surprises.

#3: Welcome Challenges

A free spirit encounters problems like any other person. However, they see the problems as new challenges, not threats. Consequently, a free spirit gets excited, not worried when facing challenges.

#4: Spontaneous

A free spirit comes up with rushed decisions that change the course of their lifestyles forever. For example, they may wake up and decide to shift to a new neighborhood, enroll in the gym, or make a swift financial investment. Or, they may change their minds about getting married, having kids, or setting up their businesses.

These persons hold no attachment to anyone or anything, hence appearing as unserious. As a result, others find it hard to understand why this person can’t stay consistent.

#5: Unconventionality

Free spirits do things their way. They question any societal expectations and are the last persons to adopt them. Likewise, they are never intimidated by those around them. Instead, they stick to their decisions regardless of how foreign they sound to the masses.

#6: Insatiable

A free spirit is insatiable. Your goals are different, settling for a better or unique lifestyle from the one your peers are content with. For example, your dream when clearing college was never a well-paying job, the latest car, and a home with kids. Instead, you think of opportunities that will allow you to try new things.

For example, you could be a die-hard globetrotter even though you may not have the means to travel at the moment. You are the kind of person who is content with living from a suitcase for years as you travel around the world.

#7: Great Achievers, Innovators, Dreamers

Now, a free spirit may appear spontaneous and unserious with life, but they have a clear perspective of what they want to achieve. This person comes up with fresh ideas that promise to solve world challenges. And it is the excitement of this new challenge that fuels their desire to achieve the set goals.

#8: Relentless

Free spirits always seek ways of how to make the impossibilities in their lives possible. For example, they will question why it takes three days and not a day for an online shopping order to arrive at their doorstep. And, they will use the latest facts to question current theories.

In turn, these persons never quit. They appear stubborn, holding on to their ideas until they get the solution they were hoping for.

Living a Fulfilling Life as a Free Spirit

Note that, a free spirit is the best candidate for achieving spiritual awakening. This person is intent on soul searching and questions their existence. Still, the life of a free-spirited person can be a lonely one. If you suspect that you are a free spirit, here are a few tips to live a fulfilling lifestyle:

Spend more time outdoors. For example, taking part in dance competitions in the open gives you a chance to free your mind and release any stress buildup.
Reconnect with your inner child by working with children. They have great imaginations and love exploring and testing their boundaries. Plus, they enjoy doing role plays.
Explore a creative career path like preparing exotic dishes and painting on a canvas.
Most free-spirited persons are empathetic, considerate, kind, and loving. In turn, they can be victims of emotional abuse. Protect your emotional wellbeing by setting boundaries on who you interact with or what you explore beyond your comfort zone.

Conclusion

Anyone with a free spirit has the untamable spirit of a wolf. You always want to run free beyond the confines of family or society. You also have a tendency to oppose the normal social rule, being overly independent, and never subscribing to others’ rules. That’s why most free spirits are seen as rebellious.