Personal Development

6 Effective Tips On How To Deal With Fear

Published

2 years ago

April 22, 2019

Sooner or later every person asks this question: “How do I deal with fear?”. Fear is one of the most important life lessons every human being learns. Overcoming our fears always makes us stronger. But when we don’t know how to deal with fear it can make our life miserable and destroy us completely.

Life requires the greatest courage. If you are in a state of fear, you do not live, you exist. Living in fear is worse than death. Fear paralyzes you and takes your energy. It is fear that is the root cause of most diseases, as it absorbs a huge amount of energy. There is not a single person on Earth who has not experienced fear or its variations at least once – anxiety, panic, self-doubt, jealousy, etc. That’s why it is so important to know how to deal with fear.

Only brave people can live their lives to the fullest and be happy. However, the paradox is that it is useless to fight fear. Every time we fight against something, we give even more energy to our fear. As a result, it becomes even stronger, and we become weaker.

So how do we deal with fear then? First of all, let’s find out what the nature of fear is.

Understanding The Nature Of Your Fear

Fear is energy, or rather its excessive amount (CHA), which occurs when the object of fear is given excessive importance. Excess energy (CHA) disrupts the balance (LAN) in the energy field and creates a balancing force aimed at its elimination (SO).

For example, if you are walking on the edge of a cliff and are terrified of falling, the balancing forces will try to eliminate the excess energy in the easiest way. In this way, they will push you into the abyss, thereby ending with you as a carrier of excess energy. However, this option does not suit you, so you try your best to keep yourself calm, resisting the actions of balancing forces. In order to balance the excess energy that fear carries, you begin to put extra effort, as a result of which you will lose even more energy.

If the excess energy contained in fear is large enough, you lose control of it. And then the balancing forces do whatever they want to you. You start to panic and fall into the abyss from the cliff.

So, If Fight Your Fear Is Useless, What Can We Do Then?

Any fighting is always useless indeed. Especially when we’re talking about our fears. But there is something we can always do about our fears. Let me share with you my tips on how to deal with fear. They can help you to look at your fears from another angle and take control of them.

6 Tips On How To Deal With Fear

1. Reduce the amount of energy you give to fear

When you find yourself in a state of a panic attack, the first thing you should do is to reduce the amount of energy you give to fear as quickly as possible. To do this, you need to quickly switch your attention to something else. In other words, you need to start doing something. The activity does not necessarily have to concern itself. It’s enough to just make yourself busy with something, no matter what. As soon as you begin to actively engage in something abstract, you will feel your fear and anxiety have subsided.

This way you redirect your energy from thoughts to actions. There is no free energy left for feeding your fear, as it has been transformed into action. As a result, you calm down and stop radiating negativity, that as we all know always attracts what you are afraid of.

2. Create a Plan B

My second tip on how to deal with fear is to reduce its excessive importance by creating the so-called “Plan B”. By “Plan B” I mean a backup option. In other words, speculate on what you will do if what you feared will happen? Think about your behavior. And, thus, calm yourself down.

For example, you are afraid to take the exam because you are afraid to “fail” it. Imagine that you have already “failed”. What are you going to do? Most likely, you will retake it. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Even if you do not pass now, next time you will pass for sure. Take the retake as a backup and take it with you to the exam as a “Plan B” option.

However, do not cling to this option. Just formulate it for yourself, and set it aside. Don’t feed it with your energy. Keep it in your head as a backup option, but visualize at the same time what you want to get ideally – a good score for the exam.

You can use the following affirmation:

“Universe, I trust you completely. I know that you will organize everything in the best way for me anyway. But if possible, please make sure that I pass the exam and get a good grade for it. Thanks!”

3. Observe your fear

My third tip on how to deal with fear is to neutralize it by observing it.

Fear has a significant impact on your life only if you are not able to see yourself from the outside. Look at fear consciously. As soon as you start watching how afraid you are, you will come to realize what is really happening to you. Let yourself be afraid, but do it consciously. In the state of awareness, you do not give energy to your fear, so your negative expectations are not realized.

However, if you start to fight your fear (to force yourself not to be afraid), it means that you attach great importance to it. As a result, you give your energy to fear, due to which it is manifested in your reality.

Thus, it is necessary to stop fighting fear and resist it. Go towards your fear and allow yourself to be scared. Understand that trembling with fear means trying to overcome it. The tremor happens due to the great loss of energy when you begin to attach great importance to your fear. But, when you consciously enter into your fear, you will see how your fear will gradually disappear.

4. Understanding that everything is logical in our Universe

My fourth tip on how to deal with fear is to understand that the Universe never wastes its energy. Everything is logical – it is simply not profitable to spend energy on something that requires large energy costs. Trouble is always associated with high energy costs. And pleasant events, on the contrary, are the norm, and, accordingly, require minimal energy consumption.

When the mind does not understand the law of least resistance, it begins to struggle with the Universe, creating obstacles and new problems. It is the mind, not the Universe! The mind tries to control everything, creating a scenario of undesirable events. And, paradoxically, it is you, and not someone else, scrolling in your head all those thoughts about what you are afraid of and what you do NOT want. And this is how you create for yourself a reality that is full of negative events. Everything is logical – we attract what we reflect.

The thing is, you don’t know and you can’t know how things are supposed to develop in the Universe for your Highest good. So stop constantly worrying about all the possible scenarios. All you have to do is formulate a firm intention to get what you DO WANT and stop focusing on what you would like to avoid. Trust the Universe – it always organizes everything in the best way for you.

Very soon you will notice that all the circumstances in your life begin to develop favorably, as if by themselves, and without your intervention. It is not profitable for the Universe to make troubles for you, not only because it loves and always cares about you, but, above all, because less energy is spent in this way.

When you are happy and satisfied, you draw energy from your Inner source through the positive vibrations that you yourself radiate. When you worry and panic, being under the influence of your ego, you block the connection with your internal source of energy and begin to “pull” this energy directly from the Universe or from the energy field of the people around you, thereby, committing energy theft and violating the Law of energy exchange in the Universe. Moreover, this energy you spend on your negative emotions, creating, thereby, negative energy radiation on the Earth. Of course, such radiation is extremely unprofitable for the Universe. So to compensate for the energy you took from it, it will give you exactly what resonates with your radiation. If you radiate fear, then, accordingly, you will get exactly what you are so afraid of.

Note:

the Internal source of man contains as much energy as the Universe has given him according to his individual development and needs. The increase in the amount of human energy of the internal source occurs through the disclosure of its internal potential. Negative emotions are a form of blocking of the inner potential, which prevents the flow of energy from the internal source. A person under the influence of negative emotions begins to take energy directly from the universal source or from the energy field of the people around him, which leads to a violation of the law of energy exchange.

The Universe compensates for the “stolen” energy by taking away from a person what is important to him: health, close people, well-being, etc. We always receive energy of exactly the quality that we radiate. Negativity always attracts Negativity.

5. Stop vibrating at the low frequency

My fifth tip on how to deal with fear is about offensive people. If you are afraid that you may be offended by a particular person, you need to stop vibrating at the same frequency with him. The one who wants to hurt you emits a low vibration: negative emotions such as aggression, anger, hatred, etc. Because he emits these vibrations, it requires energy to maintain him. Moreover, this energy must be similar to the energy of his emotions – that is, it must also be negative.

The most convenient way to obtain the energy of this quality is to cause fear in his victim. Thus, the victim will give him his energy through the manifestation of fear. This, incidentally, is one of the most common forms of energy vampirism. At the same time, fear always attracts exactly what you are afraid of.

To eliminate this type of fear, it is enough to be really indifferent to a potential offender. Just stop thinking about him, consciously letting him go.

6. Understanding that fear lives in the future

This is my last but very important tip on how to deal with fear. It is very important to realize that fear does not exist in the present moment, it always exists in the future. You are always afraid of something that may happen in the future.

For example, if you are on the edge of a cliff, you are afraid that you may fall. But you will fall in the future, not now. Falling into the abyss even in a second is your future, not the present. In the present moment, you are standing on the edge of a cliff, and you’re not falling into it. In other words, in the present moment, you are doing well.

Or, for example, you are afraid to go to the exam. Realize exactly what you are afraid of. Most likely get a bad score. But even if it happens, it will happen in the future. At this moment you are at home preparing for the exam – right now there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of.

Or, for example, you are afraid of flying on a plane. Be aware of what your fear is specifically associated with. After all, in fact, you are not afraid of the plane, and not even the flight. In fact, you are afraid to die in a plane crash. That is, your real fear is the fear of death, not the plane and not the flight. And now, notice what’s happening in the present moment. You’re sitting in a comfortable airplane seat, the stewardess offers you a cup of tea – there is nothing to be afraid of, everything is good.

Thus, fear always lives in the future. And if you feel fear, then you live there with it. You’re not in the present moment. So instead of actively fighting your fear, just go back to the present moment. Do it right now. Stop reading this article for a moment and look around. This is your present. Just a moment separates your present from the past and the future. The present moment is fleeting and barely perceptible, but it is from this moment that the whole life develops. There is no life either in the past or in the future, it is only in the present. So enter the present moment totally, feel its presence, and you will see that there is no fear.

The past is gone – it’s dead. There is no future yet – it was not born. Every moment of your life die for your past and be born for the future. You will be able to relax only when the past will cease to pull you back, and the future will stop contracting you in a state of fear. In the present moment, we are calm, relaxed, balanced, immortal. In the present moment, we are in peace and harmony!

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Katya Ki

Katya Ki is the Founder of SOLANCHA Magazine, a Metaphysical Expert, a Reiki Master, and Human Rights Attorney. She has been studying Eastern metaphysics, cosmology, and esotericism for almost 20 years now. And she's still discovering new knowledge, which is hidden in ancient teachings. During her pilgrimage to the monastery of Saint Catherine in Egypt, she discovered the SOLANCHA System. This is how the SOLANCHA journey started!

Personal Development

8 Signs You Are a Free Spirit Who Can Never Be Tamed

Published

5 days ago

May 6, 2021

Katya Ki

If you are a free spirit, chances are you struggle to fit in your family or friend’s circles. That is normal. See, as a true spirit, you value your freedom over complacency. You would rather dictate the terms of your life than conform to societal norms.

Well, this nonconformist attitude to life is never free of cost. You may have to get out of your comfort zone, let go of your societal security, look different, and even suffer harm. But, how do you know if you are a free spirit and not just a rebellious person?

This article will discuss the 8 common signs to guide you.

But first:

Understanding the Free Spirit

A free spirit starts from the mind. You live free of domination from any oppressive thoughts, ideas, or notions imposed on you by others. Unlike rebellion, true freedom is about respectfully liberating your mind and body, to coexist with others at peace.

Likewise, a free spirit will not replace one oppressive thought with another. Instead, this person seeks the truth and lives by it. For example, many celebrities that claim to be free spirits are doing so superficially. They may still ascribe to certain notions that are oppressive to their audience. Like the idea of going organic but allowing the use of plastics from a certain brand.

The Signs

If you are a true free spirit, then you can relate to most of the signs below: –

#1: Strong Desire for Freedom

Did you ever quit a well-paying job to pursue a digital nomad lifestyle that pays less than half of your salary? Your strong desire to be free and set your lifestyle standards indicates a truly free-spirited person. See, free-spirited people make lifestyle decisions that prioritize their freedoms.

#2: Abhor Restrictions

In line with a desire for freedom, free spirits despise any restrictions imposed by others in their lives. If you are one, you could be struggling with committing to a deadline, target, or relationship.

And for the career persons, free spirits hop from one organization to another, dreading to be confined at one company for too long. Here, the free spirit struggles to commit to another person or purpose but looks forward to waking up to new challenges or surprises.

#3: Welcome Challenges

A free spirit encounters problems like any other person. However, they see the problems as new challenges, not threats. Consequently, a free spirit gets excited, not worried when facing challenges.

#4: Spontaneous

A free spirit comes up with rushed decisions that change the course of their lifestyles forever. For example, they may wake up and decide to shift to a new neighborhood, enroll in the gym, or make a swift financial investment. Or, they may change their minds about getting married, having kids, or setting up their businesses.

These persons hold no attachment to anyone or anything, hence appearing as unserious. As a result, others find it hard to understand why this person can’t stay consistent.

#5: Unconventionality

Free spirits do things their way. They question any societal expectations and are the last persons to adopt them. Likewise, they are never intimidated by those around them. Instead, they stick to their decisions regardless of how foreign they sound to the masses.

#6: Insatiable

A free spirit is insatiable. Your goals are different, settling for a better or unique lifestyle from the one your peers are content with. For example, your dream when clearing college was never a well-paying job, the latest car, and a home with kids. Instead, you think of opportunities that will allow you to try new things.

For example, you could be a die-hard globetrotter even though you may not have the means to travel at the moment. You are the kind of person who is content with living from a suitcase for years as you travel around the world.

#7: Great Achievers, Innovators, Dreamers

Now, a free spirit may appear spontaneous and unserious with life, but they have a clear perspective of what they want to achieve. This person comes up with fresh ideas that promise to solve world challenges. And it is the excitement of this new challenge that fuels their desire to achieve the set goals.

#8: Relentless

Free spirits always seek ways of how to make the impossibilities in their lives possible. For example, they will question why it takes three days and not a day for an online shopping order to arrive at their doorstep. And, they will use the latest facts to question current theories.

In turn, these persons never quit. They appear stubborn, holding on to their ideas until they get the solution they were hoping for.

Living a Fulfilling Life as a Free Spirit

Note that, a free spirit is the best candidate for achieving spiritual awakening. This person is intent on soul searching and questions their existence. Still, the life of a free-spirited person can be a lonely one. If you suspect that you are a free spirit, here are a few tips to live a fulfilling lifestyle:

Spend more time outdoors. For example, taking part in dance competitions in the open gives you a chance to free your mind and release any stress buildup.
Reconnect with your inner child by working with children. They have great imaginations and love exploring and testing their boundaries. Plus, they enjoy doing role plays.
Explore a creative career path like preparing exotic dishes and painting on a canvas.
Most free-spirited persons are empathetic, considerate, kind, and loving. In turn, they can be victims of emotional abuse. Protect your emotional wellbeing by setting boundaries on who you interact with or what you explore beyond your comfort zone.

Conclusion

Anyone with a free spirit has the untamable spirit of a wolf. You always want to run free beyond the confines of family or society. You also have a tendency to oppose the normal social rule, being overly independent, and never subscribing to others’ rules. That’s why most free spirits are seen as rebellious.

Personal Development

Shadow Work: Get To Know & Integrate Your Dark Side

Published

7 days ago

May 4, 2021

SOLANCHA STAFF

We need to be whole to live a fulfilling life. Yet, our shadow work represents the disconnected parts of our psyche, hindering our spiritual journey. And, at the spark of the moment, our unflattering past may emerge to tarnish this picture-perfect view of ourselves because, our shadows can go on autopilot mode, operating behind the scenes and impacting our relationships.

The Shadow: Home for Our Suppressed Traits

Did you grow up knowing that men are not supposed to cry? Or, do you view outspoken people as nosy? Well, as a human being, when you are overcome by grief or sadness, one quick release is to cry. It relieves the tension in you. Plus, those around you appreciate that you feel their grief too.

Likewise, an outspoken person can be a great leader if they use this trait to command authority for social justice or development. But, if you are born an outspoken person, and you relegate this positive trait, you lose out on living a fulfilled life.

The two examples above demonstrate what happens when we relegate any trait, whether positive or negative, that we disassociate from our ego. These traits never go away. They lie dormant in our shadows and may crop up in your life when you least expect them. More so, others can pinpoint those traits in you even without you doing anything to provoke it. For example, you may portray yourself as a composed person, only to throw tantrums at the slightest provocation. That shows there is unresolved anger lying dormant in your dark side.

Origin of the Term Shadow

The term “shadow” originates from the Jungian psychological model. According to Carl Jung’s theory, we all have an ego, which is the center of our personalities. Anything that you disassociate from your ego ends up in the shadow or your dark side. Similarly, if there is a trait that you dislike about yourself, chances are, it is suppressed in your shadow.

So How Do You Embrace Your Shadow?

At a point when the shadow is working against us, it may destroy us. Hence, there is a need to embrace our dark side and use it to nourish our lives. But how do we achieve that?

Past vs. Present Approach to Embracing the Shadow

Now, history has records of ancient Greeks worshipping the shadow as an autonomous goddess or god. The Greeks used this approach to integrate the dark side into their egos. Not so with the 21st-century modern person. Today’s pressures from social media, family, and friends make us neglect our past wounds or negative impulses.

Many of us are too concerned about protecting our self-image. In the process, we deny that the shadow exists in the first place. Yet, cyberbullies and close friends are quick to pinpoint these shadows in others but never acknowledge their own. An issue of seeing a splinter in another person’s eye and not seeing the log in your own eyes, right?

Other Quick Tips to Embrace Your Shadow

Have a calm mind. Life stress interferes with our attitudes towards the shadow. Yet, a collected person will find reason even in the most brutal aspects of their lives. Yoga, meditation, and crystal healing can help in achieving the right mindset for shadow work.
Practice self-love. It will prepare you mentally to deal with the demons.
Seek the truth, not validation. The dark side may have aspects of your life that are too painful. Seek to understand the truth instead of wanting to feel special.
Journalize the process.

Benefits of Shadow Work – Eliminating the Projection Defense Mechanism

When we repress our shadows, we project those feelings unto others. For example, if you view an overweight person as lazy, or find an outspoken person irritating, chances are you are struggling with weight management or a level of rudeness in your life. Otherwise, if you were okay with your current or past weight, someone else’s oversize will not bother you. See, this projection happens unconsciously, as a way to defend your ego.

Shadow work unmasks our dark side and integrates it into our current life. It is about working with your disowned parts to bring out the creative, authentic, and energetic side in you. And, the benefits are tremendous.

Here are three key benefits: –

#1: Better Relationships

Integrating your dark side will ground and make you feel whole. Once you embrace your shadow, it is easier to embrace that of your spouse, child, friend, or workmate. In turn, you are less triggered by other person’s unpleasant behaviors. Even so, the grounding effect opens up channels of communication, hence improving how you relate with others.

#2: Clarity of Perception

Our perception of self determines how we view the world. If skewed, you will use the same lens of perception to sieve ideas, thoughts, and feelings from others. In contrast, integrating our shadows gives us a whole, true picture of ourselves. This realistic assessment of self results in self-awareness crucial for spiritual growth.

#3: Raised Energy and Better Health

For as long as you ignore your shadow, it becomes a burden that you carry each day. You know, you are cautious with the way you look, what you say, or how you conduct yourself, not to reveal those suppressed traits.

Integrating the dark side frees us from this daily struggle.

We discover a reservoir of energy that we never thought existed. In turn, we can focus on self-care routines that lead to better physical health.

Conclusion

We all have a dark side that we often want to ignore. The dark side could be the skeletons in your closet that you never want to admit. Or, positive traits like empathy, gentleness, humility that you feel make you look weak. Worse still, it could be demons from your past traumas, lingering in your present life like a shadow. We avoid these demons so as not to feel ashamed, guilty, or fearful. Yet, accepting and integrating this dark side into your current life could unlock a life of fulfillment and self-enlightenment. It is never easy to confront our shadows. But, it is worth your effort.

Awareness

Soul Searching: Can You Really Find a Lost Soul?

Published

4 weeks ago

April 16, 2021

SOLANCHA STAFF

Have you ever experienced a muscle pull while in deep waters swimming that you felt death was so close? How did you feel when you finally made it above the waters and took a deep breath? More like the breath of life, right? That is how we operate when we keep on holding to our past scars. They enslave us and suffocate our own existence. Luckily, soul searching can help you get back on track and start living your life just the way our creator intended.

So how do you find yourself? How do you finally let go of the past and live a free spirit? And most importantly, how do you stay focused to ensure you never find yourself in this situation ever again? Well, you’re on the right page because this article will answer these and many more questions revolving around soul searching.

Sounds interesting? Read on.

So What Is Soul Searching?

A student once asked his tutor:

“What did you gain from years of meditation?”

The teacher gently replied, “Nothing, my son. But let me share with you what I lost. I lost anxiety, depression, anger, and the fear of death, relationship insecurities, and the fear of growing older. Now I’m living a free spirit.”

Does this sound like one of your dreams? Soul searching helps you to achieve all that and more. In simple terms, soul searching is an intuitive path to self-evaluation with an aim to find a deeper meaning and contentment in life. It’s that simple.

However, that doesn’t happen in a day, of course, but consistency yields long-term results.

Why Do You Need To Find Your Inner Self?

At some point in life, most people are conditioned to live in certain ways, to believe in certain truths, to practice certain careers, religions, etc. Sadly, most of these people actually die without ever figuring out what the other side of these truths feels like.

The significance of tapping into your inner self is that you immediately start to experience inner peace and balance in your daily life.

You see, once you tap into your inner self, you get to understand your life goals, your purpose, motivations, as well as beliefs and practices that add value to your life. As a result, you no longer waste your time and energy meandering in lost paths but instead, you fully focus your energy on paths that you’re destined to excel in. And isn’t that what we all want?

4 Practical Ways You Can Find Your Soul

#1: Take A Self-Realization Quiz

Start asking questions like:

Is this the actual truth or the truth I want to hear?
Is this a healthy relationship or the relationship the world needs to see?

And I’m almost certain you’re here because you’ve already started questioning yourself. So this step will be easy. However, the hardest part is accepting you for who you have become now and working towards changing this narrative moving forward.

I always believe we shouldn’t work so hard at hiding the past but rather take the lessons and use them to create a better future.

#2: Experience The Other Side Of Life For Just A Day

In other words, dare your ego. What have you denied yourself for the longest time in your life all in the pretext of being the “perfect human”? Is it the career you never fulfilled, or the trip you’ve always postponed? It’s time to dare what you consider impossible.

However, let me warn you that your ego will fight you harder. Remember that inner voice that tells you “you can’t ware that Suzie, your belly is too visible” or “you can’t get that mortgage Jack, you’ll be bankrupt before you even retire”.

We’ve all had those moments, haven’t we? Sadly we just nod to our ego and say “I think you’re right, let me find an alternative.”

And by the way, did you know you can overcome some fears just by approaching life in a different angle? For example, a bungee jump, or sky diving can help you overcome your fear of the unknown.

#3: Time to Connect With Your Higher Self

Did you know that your higher self might be trying to communicate with you but you might be blocking its voice? It’s true. That’s why you are suddenly craving a more meaningful life. Suddenly you are starting to see all the missed opportunities. For this reason, you need to pause and listen.

The easiest way to reconnect with a lost soul is through meditation. However, the modern world is too distracting. Instead of fighting the distractions, how about embracing the things you admire in life. Take a walk in the forest, or go deep-sea diving, or even explore your hobbies and find that spot where your mind is mostly at peace. That is when you reach out to your higher self.

#4: Professionals Could Help Too

Some things are above self-help. This is where you need to engage professional help. Be it your Yoga instructor, a therapist, or any professional practitioner within your line of trouble.

Other times, you just need to open up to someone you trust. Someone you can share your past traumas openly without the fear of being judged. Consequently, healing starts.

Moving Forward

Once you find your true self, it’s time to change the narrative. In the self-realization quiz, cross off any character traits you possess that are pulling you backwards. If it’s the shyness, the extreme anger, or the low self-esteem, cross it off and purpose to work on improving these areas henceforth.

One thing I must mention though, change takes time. But as long as you don’t lose your zeal, it can be achieved. Find new goals and new motivation. Let these propel you towards living your new life.

Always remember, not all storms come to disrupt your dreams; some are there to clear your path.