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Are You Gaslighting Yourself? 6 Signs You Could Be Unknowingly Doing It

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All people ever talk about is being gaslighted by other parties. But do you know you could also unknowingly be gaslighting yourself? You are your best friend and also your worst enemy. How you treat yourself is a significant determinant of how your mental health turns out. It also determines how you associate with other people. For instance, if you gaslight yourself, you will most likely let other people gaslight you.

What is Self-Gaslighting?

Self-gaslighting happens when we dismiss our feelings and experiences. You can be deeply hurt, but with self-gaslighting, you will invalidate the pain and try to get yourself over it. It may sound like,

“I know friends who have been through worse,”

‘It is not that bad,”

“Other victims got over this fast; I don’t know why I cannot get over it.”

“I should let go of this and move on.”

Many times, self-gaslighting happens when you pick the mantra from a gaslighter. It may also come from past childhood traumas.

Self-gaslighting can be difficult to recognize, especially by people who identify as being spiritual. This is because self-reflection, shadow work, and mindfulness practices are all based on the truthful relfection of our thoughts, behaviors, and actions. This level of awareness allows us to make positive changes in our thoughts and behaviors in an effort to create a more harmonious life for ourselves. The issue arises when the constructive self-reflection and awareness turn into destructive self-blame.

Signs You Are Gaslighting Yourself

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Here are six clear signs that you are a self-gaslighter. If you do any of this, please do your mental health some justice and work on stopping the gaslighting.

#1: You Justify Someone Else’s Bad Behavior

Many of us have been here, making excuses for other people’s toxic behaviors. When people make mistakes, they should take personal responsibility for them. How many times have you heard things in the line of:

“They cheated because I was emotionally unavailable,”

“My mother kept yelling at me because I was a difficult child,”

“He pushed me because he was drunk,”

No, do not make excuses for people’s bad behavior. Take responsibility for your part but don’t blame yourself for theirs.

#2: You Discredit Your Feelings

There is a valid reason behind every emotion you are feeling. If you constantly invalidate your feelings, it is clear that you are gaslighting yourself. For instance, whenever you are hurting, you keep suppressing your feelings because you think you always overreact.

You may have had people hurt you, but you bottled up the hurt because it is not a big deal after all. Or, you dismiss your feelings because you know people who have been in tougher situations than you.

This self-manipulation piles up, and sooner or later, you will have to face the trauma. Remember that invalidating your feelings is an unhealthy way of escaping the trauma, but it will eventually catch up with you.

#3: You are Constantly Rethinking How You Should Have Handled Things

One way self-gaslighting happens is by overthinking what you could have done to prevent other people’s bad behavior.

I should have left the party early.

I should have dressed more decently when going on that date.

I should not have said that.

SOLANCHA principles teach us to harmonize our polarized way of thinking. To avoid any self-blame or shame, it’s important to learn to accept two realities simultaneously. Yes, there are certain actions and behaviors we could have taken to avoid the situation, while at the same time, the bad behavior is completely unacceptable. Unfortunately, we tend to only focus on one or the other which ends up being destructive.

#4: You Never Trust Your Judgment

You could be manipulating yourself if you constantly second-guess your decisions or judgment on things. If you always feel your intuition is wrong, you are self-gaslighting. You can never build a trustworthy relationship with anyone if you do not trust yourself. Constant self-doubt may happen from being gaslighted as a child. This makes you constantly doubt your inner voice.

Also, if you think you are not good enough, you probably got there through gaslighting. Besides, self-gaslighting may make you doubt some physical feelings. For instance, you may dismiss physical sickness because you think you can keep pushing on. Or because you are afraid of your bosses’ reaction.

If you have been sick but were too scared to call in sick, that is it. We have also had people dismiss constant headaches for dehydration or just a little pressure. Well, these may be true but do not second guess yourself. Get the check-up when you feel something, do not invalidate your sickness.

#5: You Say All the Negative Things About Yourself

Self-gaslighters typically say things about themselves that they would never say about other people. If you constantly think that you are crazy for saying something, or are an idiot for doing something, then it is a clear sign of self-gaslighting. Self-gaslighters have made such words and harshness too familiar for them. 

If you are at a point where such grossness feels at home, while affection and sweetness feel out of place, you are deep into self-gaslighting. Remember that any self-reflection should be constructive and an insightful opportunity for growth. If your self-talk becomes so negative that it makes you feel horrible about yourself, you know that it’s become destructive and you are self-gaslighting.

#6: You Always Believe That the Worst Is Going to Happen

If you are never optimistic about the things happening in your life, it is a clear sign you are a self-gaslighter. You always think nothing will happen in your favor in this unhealthy zone. If you are always awaiting the worst in every situation, it is a clear sign that you have gaslighted yourself to that zone.

How to Stop the Pattern?

mindfulness in self-healing image

Here are some practical tips to stop the pattern of gaslighting yourself.

#1: Face Your Trauma

One thing that stands out in self-gaslighting is constant self-doubt and questioning yourself. This typically arises from childhood trauma. You cannot keep escaping your traumas; they will haunt you for a long time. Take courage and face the trauma to resolve it. One great way is to talk to a therapist and find ways to make peace with your past.

#2: Build Your Self-Esteem

Another great way to stop self-gaslighting is by building your self-esteem. Everything you feel is valid and matters. Always take a stand and recognize that everything you feel should not be compromised to accommodate others. Allow yourself to feel your feelings without judging yourself for having them.

#3: Get Away From Being Gaslighted

Being gaslighted will eventually make you a self-gaslighter. You must break that pattern if your friend, partner, or family is a habitual gaslighter. You can get them to stop the habit by talking it out. If they cannot stop, you need to get out of that environment.

Abundant Living

Abundance Haircuts In February 2023: Good And Bad Days To Cut Your Hair

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Abundance Haircuts is a sutra based on the Tibetan calendar. It reveals the negative consequences of cutting your hair on the bad days and the incredible benefits of cutting it on the good days. Dates of Abundance Haircuts are calculated according to extremely complex formulas by experienced Feng Shui Masters.

Most people in the Western world have never heard about abundance haircuts. While for Eastern people, it’s not a new practice. This article will share this powerful sutra and give you a calendar for abundance haircuts in February 2023, with good and bad days for haircuts. Pay attention to what day you’re picking for your next hair appointment – only choose good days for abundance haircuts in February 2023.

Why Is Hair So Important?

Since ancient times, people have given hair a sacred meaning. It was thought that people could connect with the Universe through one’s hair. Hair serves as an “antenna” and “guide” between our world and the world of Heaven. And so far, this knowledge has not lost its relevance. Hair connects us with Higher forces, cosmic energy, God, and Higher consciousness. By connecting through the hair to the Cosmos, we can fill ourselves with the energies of abundance and health.

Good Days to Cut Your Hair In April 2021 Image

There were many beliefs associated with hair; some of them have survived to the present day. For example: in any case, you should not get a haircut by yourself, as in this case, deformation of your energy field may happen, which can lead to health problems and energy loss. It is also not recommended to get a haircut on the days of a lunar or solar Eclipse: the hair can suffer, weaken, and lose shine and volume.

What Are “Abundance Haircuts”?

It has long been known that there are days when it is especially favorable to cut hair. Among these days, there are days of “Abundance haircuts.”

Abundance haircuts are a special ritual to attract abundance flows into your life. It is good to say abundance affirmations and mantras on this day. So you will strengthen the ritual haircut and make it a more effective and efficient force.

Here are examples of the mantras:

  • For wealth and abundance: OM TARE TUTTARE TURE MAMA BASU PUSHTIM KURU SOHA
  • Mantra for vitality and life force increase: OM TARE TUTTARE TURE MARITSE YE TSE BHRUM NRI DZA SOHA
  • For fame, power, and charisma: OM TARE TUTTARE TURE BODHI CITTA SOHA
  • Mantra for health and longevity: OM TARE TUTTARE TURE MAMA AYUR PUNYE JNANA PUSHTIM KURU YE SOHA
  • For magnetism and attractiveness: OM TARE TAM SOHA

If you are not a mantra practitioner, you can use affirmations instead.

Examples of abundance affirmations:

  • I deserve to be abundantly happy and healthy!
  • My abundance is constantly growing!
  • I always have money for everything I need!
  • Money comes to me easily and fast!
  • I’m grateful for my abundant life!

Abundance Haircuts In February 2023

Abundance Haircuts In February 2023 Calendar

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Awareness

How To Cleanse Crystals: 8 Most Effective Ways

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One of the most important properties of crystals is their ability to accumulate and store energy and information. Therefore it’s essential to know how to cleanse crystals from negative energy and old information that doesn’t serve you anymore. In this article, we will share with you the 8 most effective ways to cleanse your crystals.

Why do We Need to Cleanse Our Crystals?

One of the key properties of all crystals is the ability to absorb and store the surrounding energy. And when you get a crystal, you should understand that it already carries certain information. That is why physical and energetic cleansing should be carried out before use.

When Should We Consider Crystal Cleansing?

tips on how to cleanse crystals image

You should consider crystal cleansing when you:

  • have just bought a new crystal from a store;
  • received a crystal as a gift;
  • have inherited a crystal or gemstone jewelry (usually, such a crystal carries the energy of the former owner);
  • just found the crystal (since you don’t know what happened to the crystal, who owned it, and what events and information it captured, you should consider cleansing it before using it);
  • use crystals for healing or cleansing the energy of the house (healing crystals must be cleansed regularly);
  • had a negative person touching your crystal;
  • feel that the crystal has lost its properties and power (if you often use your crystals, they overflow with different energies and need to be cleaned);
  • didn’t use your crystal for a while (even in this case, the crystal still continues to absorb the energy surrounding it).

In all these cases, crystals can accumulate and store a huge amount of old information and stagnant or negative energy that not only adversely affects the owner but also minimizes the crystal’s healing and other properties.

How to Cleanse Crystals?

There are many ways to cleanse crystals. You can choose the most suitable option or use several methods at once. It is best to cleanse crystals on the waning moon – the moon’s power will make the cleansing especially effective. But if you don’t want to wait, do it anytime you need it.

Here are the 8 most effective methods to cleanse your crystals.

#1: Sea Salt Cleanse

sea salt energy cleansing image

One of the most effective methods of crystal cleansing is sea salt cleansing. Sea salt has the ability to pull out all the negativity.

How To Cleanse Crystals With Sea Salt?

To do this, you will need a glass or ceramic container. Put your crystals in this container and cover them with salt completely. Leave the crystals in the salt for a day. After that, you should throw out the salt, and rinse the crystals in water.

IMPORTANT! Use dry sea salt! Salt solutions can damage the appearance of your crystals. Not all minerals can be allowed to directly come in contact with salt!

If you are unsure how the salt will affect your crystals, you can use an alternative sea salt cleanse option. Pour salt into a deep container. Wrap your crystals in a piece of cloth and just fill it with salt. Or simply put a napkin on top of the salt, and place your crystals and jewelry on it. This method is no less effective and will help avoid troubles with your crystals’ appearance.

#2: Water Cleanse

This is the easiest and most affordable way to cleanse your crystals. It would be ideal to wash your crystals in spring water. But even regular water is also suitable for this purpose.

How To Cleanse Crystals With Water?

Just hold the crystals under cold running water for 10-15 minutes, and the water will carry away the extra heavy information that has accumulated in them. It is good to combine such cleansing with visualization. Imagine that water is washing out all the negativity from the crystals. After that, put the crystals on a dry surface but do not wipe them.

Important! Not all crystals go well with water. Before you choose this method of crystal cleansing, make sure to check the list below.

Never cleanse these crystals with water:

  • Angelite
  • Calcite
  • Carnelian
  • Galena
  • Halite
  • Hematite
  • Labradorite
  • Lepidolite
  • Lodestones
  • Malachite
  • Mica
  • Moldavite
  • Muscovite
  • Obsidian
  • Opal
  • Pearl
  • Pyrite
  • Selenite
  • Turquoise
  • Ulex and some others.

3. Fire Cleanse

cleansing crystals with fire image

Did you know that fire has a powerful cleansing effect? Therefore, it’s very effective to use fire for crystal cleansing.

How to Cleanse Crystals With Fire?

Take a candle of the color of the crystal you want to cleanse (for example, for cleansing rose quartz, you will need a pink candle). Light it and draw a couple of circles with a candle over the crystal, and then move the crystal over the candle. If it’s possible to hang the crystal on a chain, then you can move the crystal through the flames a couple of times.

When performing the fire cleanse, visualize how all negative energy and information burn in the flame of fire. Then put your crystals next to the candle until it burns completely.

#4: Crystal Cleansing With Earth Element

Another effective way to cleanse your crystals is to use the power of the Earth. Earth is the home for all stones, the place of their birth, so in their native element, they are not only cleansed but also gain strength.

How To Cleanse Crystals With the Earth Element?

To cleanse your crystals with the Earth element, bury the crystals in the ground for 3 to 7 days. The energy of the Earth resets all the information accumulated in them. If you don’t have your own yard, then you can use a regular pot with soil in it. Bury your crystals in the soil. After a few days, dig up your crystals and wash them with water.

#5: Fumigation

how to cleanse crystals with incense smoke image

How To Cleanse Crystals With Incense?

To cleanse your crystals, you can use incense sticks or dried herbs. Suitable options: lavender, sage, incense, juniper, myrrh, wormwood, and cedar. Light the incense and while it’s burning, carry your crystals through the running smoke several times. Then put your crystals next to the burning incense stick until the incense is completely burned. Do not forget to ventilate the room after this cleansing ritual, to get rid of all the negative energy after cleansing.

#6: Sound Cleanse

Sound can create certain vibrations that purify and balance the energy around. For these purposes, you can use singing bowls or bells.

Tibetan singing bowl image

How to Cleanse Crystals with the Sound?

Arrange crystals in a row or in a circle, and then play the singing bowl or ring the bells to create a sound vibration.

#7: Cold Cleanse

Cold cleansing or freezing is another simple way for quick cleansing.

How to Cleanse Crystals with Cold?

To do this, put your crystals in the freezer for 2-3 hours. After this simple action, the negative information contained in your crystals will be destroyed with cold.

#8: Crystal Cleansing with Other Crystals

Yes, you read it right! You can cleanse your crystals with the help of other crystals with cleansing properties. For this purpose, you should use transparent crystals of a pointed shape.

How to Cleanse Crystals With the Help of Other Crystals?

crystal rituals image

Place your cleansing crystals around the crystal that you want to cleanse. Make sure that the sharp ends of the cleansing crystals are pointed at the crystal that needs to be cleansed. Leave the crystals in this position for at least 6 hours.

The Bottom Line

You can choose any of the methods above or use several of them at the same time. The most important thing is to perform crystal cleansing regularly. If you constantly wear crystals in the form of jewelry, you should consider cleansing them every 1,5-2 months. If you wear crystal jewelry from time to time, you can cleanse it every 6 months. If you use crystals in your healing work, then you should cleanse them each time before and after the session.

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Spirituality

10 Types of Spiritual Bypassing That Slow Down Your Growth

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How do you react to misfortunes or sad phases in your life? Do you deal with the pain or remain with unresolved wounds for fear of becoming vulnerable? Well, chances are, you are spiritually bypassing.

The Origin

Spiritual bypassing is an old term coined by John Welwood, a Buddhist teacher, author, and psychotherapist, in 1984. It refers to the tendency for persons to avoid, sidestep, or escape uncomfortable issues facing them. Welwood noted that persons resorted to this behavior to rise above their shaky emotional or personal foundation, hence, obtaining enlightenment.

What of Today?

Spiritual bypassing is quite common in the 21st century. Here, we see people covering up their low self-esteem, loneliness, or anger with spiritual practice. The only difference is it is a short-term cover-up. Spiritual bypassing facilitates a buildup of negative emotions into full-blown unrest and uncertainty.

Spiritual Bypassing Image

Is Spiritual Bypassing Negative?

Often, we associate spirituality with positive aspects of our lives. You know, feelings of inner peace, contentment, or fulfillment. But, spiritual bypassing confirms that there are dark and painful areas in spirituality.  Yes, it creates a false feeling of security and satisfaction, blocking any efforts for emotional healing.

Types of Spiritual Bypassing

Do you often resort to spirituality to bypass the unpleasant phases of your life? Here are the ten possible ways: –

#1: Optimistic Bypass

An optimistic bypass will insist on seeing life as a glass half full. This person is always focusing on the sunny side of life, ignoring the other half that is not so pleasant. In turn, these persons never engage their anger, inner conflict, or aggression. For, they fail to see that life isn’t always a happy fairytale.

#2: Aggrandizement Bypass

Do you know of a spiritual leader or seeker who seems overly enlightened and superior? Chances are these individuals struggle with personal insecurities and deficiencies. For, aggrandizement bypass is a self-delusion that convinces the self-proclaimed spiritual gurus that they have achieved a level of enlightenment or higher being.

#3: Victim Bypass

starseed spiritual bypass image

Are you a victim of your gifts? If these gifts hinder you from living a healthy or happy life, you could be a victim bypass. For example, a victim bypass may identify as an empath and use their gift of compassion to others to the extent of neglecting their happiness. Likewise, a victim bypass may disguise as an indigo child, a gifted healer, or a Starseed.

#4: Psychonaut Bypass

A psychonaut bypass exploits psychedelic drugs to escape their painful reality. In turn, they get into a psycho-spiritual crisis that hinders them from pursuing personal development.

#5: Horoscope Bypass

Do you love astrology, or are you dependent on it? Well, if you struggle with fear or self-doubt to the point of living an indecisive life, you could be relying on others to predict the outcome of your life. For this, a horoscope bypass trusts the predictions of a psychic or an astrologer. It becomes destructive when this trust supersedes their inner feelings to make significant decisions in their lives. In turn, their obsession with astrology makes them incapable of coping with traumas.

#6: Saint Bypass

When growing up, kids learn that spiritual leaders are saintly, kind, and compassionate. Only, these leaders have weaknesses and dark sides like any ordinary human being. However, a saint bypass holds on to this holier-than-thou notion from their childhood, even when they are now adults. In turn, a saint bypass will sacrifice themselves to appear sweet, approachable, heavenly persons.

#7: Spirit Guide Bypass

A spirit guide, whether an angelic or godly being, serves to protect humanity, right? Well, this belief is quite soothing to the mind but constricts the soul. That is, we forgo the need to be resilient, courageous, or take charge of our safety. We become like children under the protection of the parent. Living this way deprives us of the ability to grow our spiritual character. Instead, we should look to the spirit guide to learn more about our spirituality, not babysit us.

#8: Guru Bypass

A guru bypass is overly attached to a spiritual teacher or guru, to the extent of worshipping them. They accept all the teachings from their spiritual guru as absolute truths. Eventually, the guru bypass never grows spiritually. Further, they fall prey to manipulation or any ill-intentions of their spiritual leaders.

#9: Finger-Pointing Bypass

When on a spiritual journey, we develop clarity of mind. Here, we intuitively determine when someone is lying, honest, or trying to manipulate us. More so, we can tell reality from delusions and make rational decisions. A finger-pointing bypass uses this ability to declare them as self-righteous. In turn, they are quick to finger-point anyone who has a contrary opinion or acts differently from them. In essence, a finger-pointing bypass is procrastinating. They find fault in others instead of working to correct and improve themselves.

#10: Prayer Bypass

reiki namaste image

Finally, a prayer bypass ignores their responsibility. Instead, this person entrusts a higher being to deal with their problems. For example, this person will pray about a sickness they have without taking any steps to seek medical attention.

What Next?

Does any of the above types of spiritual bypassing resonate with you? Here are some tips you can use to stop this negative tendency: –

#1: Be Open Minded

Know that all spiritual seekers are human beings, hence, bound to make mistakes at some point. Then, be willing to learn and receive correction from others.

#2: Deal with Any Cognitive Dissonance

Cognitive dissonance arises when our beliefs are challenged or misaligned with reality. You will experience cognitive dissonance as your change your attitudes and beliefs from spiritual bypassing. That is, you may feel guilty, anxious, or ashamed for letting go of your thoughts that do not align with what you now know to be true.

When this happens, you should examine your life for areas that do not add up. For example, you should question a narcissistic leader who preaches compassion but uses physical abuse against you.

#3: Seek Honest Feedback from Others

Discuss spiritual bypassing with your friends and loved ones. Let them tell you what they see in you that suggests that you could be a spiritual bypass. View the feedback as positive criticism, and use it to grow spiritually.

The Bottom Line

Spiritual bypassing is not easy to detect. It disguises itself as a caring, compassionate person. Take time to evaluate yourself. Acknowledge the tendency and start your healing process.

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