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10 Signs That You Are Healing Through Your Past Trauma

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Healing through your past trauma could be a long process but there are signs of change and growth along the way. It’s not always easy to see the progress because it could look so small and inconspicuous most days, but there are telltale signs that can help you to see even the smallest progress.

There are individual differences, of course. Each of us is healing from different traumas and suffers from different emotional wounds. In this article, I will share with you 10 signs that you are healing that are based on broad generalizations so you can just choose those that fit you personally.

What Is Emotional & Psychological Trauma?

Emotional and psychological trauma is the result of extraordinarily stressful events that shatter your sense of security, making you feel helpless in a dangerous world. It can cause upsetting emotions, memories, and anxiety that won’t go away easily. Also, emotional trauma can leave you feeling numb, disconnected, and unable to trust people.

Traumatic experience often involves a threat to our physical or mental safety. In fact, any situation that leaves you feeling overwhelmed and isolated can potentially result in trauma, even if it doesn’t involve physical abuse.

Thus, it is your subjective emotional experience of the event that determines whether an event is traumatic. The more scared, helpless, unsafe you feel, the more likely you are to be traumatized.

A potentially traumatic event is more prone to leave us with longer-lasting emotional and psychological trauma if:

  • we were unprepared for the event
  • the event occurred suddenly
  • we felt powerless to prevent the event
  • the event occurred repeatedly (for example, child abuse)
  • if the event involved extreme cruelty
  • if the event occurred during the childhood years

Each of us has our own unique experiences. We all are healing from different traumas and suffer from different emotional wounds. But whatever your trauma is, there are general telltale signs that you are healing. Now let’s take a look at them!

10 Signs That You Are Healing

Here they are – 10 signs that you are healing.

#1: You have accepted that you’ve gone through something difficult

The most important thing to do on your healing journey is actually to acknowledge and accept that you’ve experienced a life-changing moment that has impacted you. This is when the healing process starts. Instead of denying this experience or pretending that it wasn’t a big deal, you accept that your life, mind, body, relationships, or the way you see the world has shifted from that point.

#2: You welcome support

emotional trauma support image

You are open to support and help in different ways whether it’s from friends, family members, energy healers, or therapists. You finally allow yourself to release the need to carry your burdens alone.

#3: You don’t feel ashamed of your trauma

You stopped trying to bury your trauma deep inside of you so that you are not left vulnerable. You allow yourself to feel vulnerable though it may feel uncomfortable at first. Over time, it becomes easier and easier to open up. You are not drowning yourself in shame anymore for everything that has happened to you. You are not trying to ignore your trauma. Instead, you are opening up so that your emotional wound can finally heal.

#4: You are learning to manage your emotions

Instead of allowing your emotions to control you, now you’re learning to manage them. With time, you start seeing how you’re becoming able to anticipate stressful situations and come up with strategies to deal with them. You become more proficient at calming yourself down rather than being purely reactive.

#5: You can recognize and cope with your triggers

In the past, different cues in the environment could have predictably, if unconsciously, set you off. Now you’re consciously aware of all the triggers and know how to cope with them.

#6: You feel more in control of yourself

You let go of self-blame and self-criticism. You chose to stop being a victim. This allowed you to take control over your life, your emotions, and reactions. The less you feel like the trauma controls you, the more you feel in control of yourself.

#7: You can set and enforce your boundaries, and respect other’s

Your past trauma used to make you wrongly see boundaries as a sign of rejection, or confuse boundaries with walls that keep people out. Your healing self is able to recognize healthy boundaries, both those of others and your own. Now you see boundaries as a sign of your ability to connect with others in healthier ways.

#8: You feel safe in your relationships

Signs That You Are Healing Image

Trauma can leave us feeling unsafe in close relationships or certain triggering situations, so it makes sense that it might be difficult to trust another person and open yourself up after experiencing trauma. When dealing with trauma, it can be painful to feel caught between feeling unsafe in relationships but still desiring relationships with others. If you noticed that you feel safer in your relationships and it becomes easier for you to trust others, this is a clear sign that you are healing.

#9: You forgive and see yourself as whole

You know that your traumas and emotional pain are only a part of your journey on Earth. All your experiences on this planet are designed for learning and growing. And your trauma is one of such experiences. By forgiving yourself and others for all the pain you’ve been going through, you are releasing all that negativity that was making you feel broken. This is how you start seeing yourself whole again!

#10: You feel comfortable expressing your feelings

You’re not hiding your feelings anymore. Now you feel comfortable sharing whatever you feel you need to express. You can freely and openly talk about your trauma, your emotional wounds, and everything that has happened to you in the past that has created that traumatic experience. You also feel comfortable about the ways that have helped you overcome your trauma and the healing techniques that you’ve been using.

The Bottom Line

When bad things happen, it can take a while to get over the pain and feel safe again. And although healing from your past trauma may look like a long and slow process, there are signs of change and growth along the way. Sometimes these signs are almost invisible but it’s important to notice and celebrate them.

Katya Ki is the Founder of SOLANCHA Magazine, a Metaphysical Expert, a Reiki Master, and Human Rights Attorney. She has been studying Eastern metaphysics, cosmology, and esotericism for almost 20 years now. And she's still discovering new knowledge, which is hidden in ancient teachings. During her pilgrimage to the monastery of Saint Catherine in Egypt, she discovered the SOLANCHA System. This is how the SOLANCHA journey started!

Healing

Crystals For Emotional Healing: Finding the Right One for You

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10 crystals for emotional healing image

Emotional healing is never easy – it is a hard and painful process that requires time, effort, and patience. Crystals for emotional healing can help ease the healing process and bring back peace and harmony into our lives. In this article, we will share with you the most effective crystals for emotional healing, and also explain how they work and how you can use them for your healing journey.

How Do Crystals for Emotional Healing Work?

Our entire body system is just energy that shows up in different densities and patterns. And our thoughts and emotions are connected to our physical bodies and have a frequency of their own. When these energies work in a balanced way, we experience good health. However, when these energies are distorted, we experience emotional imbalance, tiredness, and health problems.

For centuries, crystals have been used to restore health to persons suffering from many ailments. Crystals for emotional healing work like a magnet, draw in all the negative energies in and around you and replace them with positive ones. This in effect corrects any imbalance in your body that had manifested itself as an emotional wound.

With their aura cleansing, chakra balancing, and ability to bring your vibrations to a healing level, crystals are an amazing complementary way to help you find inner peace and balance. Crystals for emotional healing can help you with stress management, strengthening your intuition, bringing strength and resilience, and boosting your inner power.

Top 10 Crystals for Emotional Healing

Here is a list of crystals that work best for sorting through emotional trauma so you can find inner peace and balance. 

#1: Rose Quartz

rose quartz gemstone

This healing crystal helps to find forgiveness, accept, and love yourself. It helps to heal guilt and accept your emotions and the lessons that your trauma has brought to you. This beautiful crystal helps to break through emotional blockages that prevent you from inner healing. In addition, Rose Quartz helps remain calm through energy attacks, confrontations, criticism, and conflicts. Also, this is the best crystal for heart chakra healing. Use this crystal when you need to heal your emotional trauma caused by abandonment, loneliness, loss, betrayal of trust.

#2: Amethyst

amethyst image

Amethyst is one of the most powerful crystals for emotional healing. It helps to overcome sadness and bring serenity into your life. This beautiful crystal harmonizes your emotions, eliminates the rage and negativity caused by emotional trauma, and reduces feelings of stress and overwhelm. Use this gem for emotional healing during times of loss or sadness. It has calming vibrations and helps to release tension and encourages sleep.

#3: Black Obsidian

black obsidian Image

This stone helps you stay grounded and tethered. Black obsidian helps repressed emotions arise out of you so that you can feel them, recognize them, and heal them. This powerful stone helps to heal the most painful emotions caused by abuse. In addition, it helps to heal grief and fears. It is also very supportive for those battling addiction.

#4: Lepidolite

crystals for emotional healing Lepidolite image

This stone helps to stabilize your energy. Lepidolite has the ability to remove stuck energy between the upper chakras and facilitates deep emotional healing. This is a powerful stone that can help you to manage anxiety and depression.

#5: Clear Quartz

Clear Quartz for Crown Chakra Healing image

This crystal is capable of amplifying energy by absorbing, storing, releasing, and regulating it. It helps balance and align your chakras and harmonize your emotions. It’s a gem that brings clear-headed energy and stops you from getting lost in confusion by bringing a channel of clear light and healing.

#6: Citrine

Citrine image

This beautiful crystal brings joy, wonder, and enthusiasm to every part of your life. Citrine can set you in a good mood so that you can calmly address any painful emotions. It enables honesty and expression of your emotions so that the negative feelings can manifest into positive modes of forgiveness and release. Use this crystal when you need to release your fears and anxieties.

#7: Moonstone

polished moonstone image

This crystal encourages inner growth and strength. It soothes feelings of stress and instability so you’re able to move forward successfully. It also promotes optimism, positive thinking, intuition, and inspiration. Moonstone is also effective in balancing hormonal emotions.

#8: Amazonite

amazonite image

This beautiful stone helps to replace confusion with clarity. This is an excellent solution for healing your Throat and Heart chakras. It helps to recognize your true feelings and find the courage to express your emotions. Amazonite is especially effective for women dealing with emotional trauma. Use this stone when you need to accept that which you cannot change.

#9: Chrysocolla

Chrysocolla image

Chrysocolla brings wisdom and a deep understanding of our life lessons. It brings the feeling of stability and calm. Using chrysocolla for emotional healing helps to fully express emotions and find forgiveness.

#10: Carnelian

Carnelian image

This is a powerful stone for trauma survivors looking to bring healing to old emotional wounds and reclaim their power. Carnelian is a beautiful stone that will help you gain acceptance, self-confidence, and hope.

How to Select Your Crystal?

Identify what you feel you’re missing before looking into what crystals can provide for you. This will help you determine the main issue you need to work on. From there, just let your intuition choose what’s best for you. Whether a crystal catches your eye or you can feel a physical pull toward one, your inner voice will guide you to the crystal that’s right for you. Once you pick your healing stone, you can create the connection you need.

How to Use Healing Crystals?

The best way to use crystals for emotional healing is to wear them in the form of gemstone jewelry. Having healing stones pressed against the skin invites continuous positive vibrations to sync up with your aura.

You can also use these stones in meditation, chakra balancing sessions, and Reiki. Sit with a stone in hand and visualize how the powerful energy of the crystal is melting away your worries. Alternatively, you can place the healing stone on the chakra that feels blocked or out of balance.

The Bottom Line

Unfortunately, we can’t always control our emotions. Life is full of twists and turns and part of the journey is experiencing those highs and those lows. Therefore, emotional healing is a part of our Earthly journey. However, by inviting crystals into our healing space, we become able to more easily transmute our painful emotions into positivity, happiness, and joy.

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Healing

Crying Therapy: a Powerful Way to Heal Your Emotional Trauma

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When is the last time you laughed? Maybe a few minutes ago, right? And when is the last time you cried? I bet you can’t even remember. So, crying therapy comes in handy. Just like happiness, sadness is a normal emotion. Yet many people, both men and women, still find it hard to cry. We bottle up our emotions and relieve them in the wrong way.

At the end of this article, we will all go to agree on whether to hold back or let our tears flow. But first,

What Is Crying Therapy?

Crying therapy is a healing practice of acknowledging and processing emotional memories and situations, and releasing emotional pain through tears.

For some people though, it’s the tears that won’t flow. I will also share with you how to unearth these emotions.

The norm is that we don’t cry unless it’s safe. And sadly, for men in some cultures, crying is an abomination. Consequently, some of them turn to violence or drugs to deal with emotions and life frustrations. So, which is better; a few minutes of crying therapy or a year of rehab?

The Science Behind Tears

Benefits of crying therapy image

What happens to your body every time you shed a tear? Whether tears of joy or tears of sadness, your tear wells send a signal to the brain. To understand the science, let’s first understand the tear structure.

All humans have 3 types of tears:

#1: Basal Tears

We release basal tears every time we blink to keep our eyes moist. They have a mucus layer that touches the eyeball, an aqueous layer sandwiched in between for hydration and bacteria protection, and the outer oily layer to keep the tears intact (especially preventing loss due to evaporation), and give the surface of the eye that smooth shiny look.

#2: Reflex Tears

These link to the peripheral sensory system in your eyes. In fact, all living things on land except snakes and amphibians have these types of tears. They are not stored anywhere in the eye but are rather produced and released in response to a nervous stimulus. This would include mechanical (an insect gets into your eye), thermal (water burns you), chemical (cutting onions or your hair spray gets to the eyes), or pain stimulus (like a slap). 

#3: Psychogenic (Emotional) Tears

The brain controls emotional tears via the prefrontal cortex and the limbic lobe (anterior portion). To better understand these, think of how infants cry uncontrollably just to get attention. For the lactating mom, a baby’s cry instantly induces the flow of milk.

And once babies develop speech, crying significantly reduces as they now use speech as a means of communication. Similarly, as an adult, sometimes we don’t have words to express what we need or what we are going through. We just find ourselves shedding tears. And for those who find it difficult to shed tears, a dark cloud of sadness engulfs them.

Science has proven that emotional tears are different from all the other types of tears. A study showed that the protein content in emotional tears is 24% higher than that of reflex tears. In addition, emotional tears fall more slowly on our cheeks hence giving more time for the people around us to react. Consequently, some scientists argue that it’s the attention after crying that gives more relief to those who don’t cry.

However, considering that after the age of 10 years men show a significant decrease in crying compared to women, the latter also naturally tend to respond more to a cry alert. So then again, our men are left to deal with their emotions in all the wrong ways.

That leads me to the next section, why is crying therapy important?

The Benefits of Crying Therapy

emotional pain image

#1: A Self-Soothing Behavior

Crying is cathartic. Some people agree that sobbing is a significant psychological tonic. In fact, a study shows an accelerated heart rate with reduced breathing as well as a reduced heartbeat when people cry.

#2: Instant Mood Improvement

Crying triggers a release of oxytocin, a stress-reducing hormone associated with social bonding. In other words, oxytocin helps improve our mood. Now scientists are still debating whether this release is directly linked to crying or the response we get from those around us when we cry.

#3: Crying Releases Endogenous Opioids (Endorphins) 

These are feel-good chemicals naturally produced in the human body to get us into the “numb zone”. In so doing, they also increase our tolerance to physical and emotional pain.

#4: Lowers Stress Levels 

Crying has been linked to lower stress levels in the blood. The science is simple. When you cry, your tears contain several stress hormones. So the more tears you shed, the more of these hormones you release out of your body.

#4: Crying Results in a Pleasurable Sensation

The researchers argue that the cool air we inhale while crying cools the blood which in turn cools the brain. As a result, this alters the activity of the neurotransmitter and creates a pleasurable sensation. 

#5: Emotional Balance

See, we don’t always cry because we are sad, right? So when you cry after passing the test, then you cry after a terrible loss, this helps your body to balance out the emotional overload.

#6: Good for Your Eyes Health

Tears contain lysozyme which cleans your eyes by killing and washing away bacteria build-up. Like when an insect enters your eyes, tears flow uncontrollably until you get the intruder out. Similarly, your eyes are always wet to keep the eyeball well lubricated. This enhances clear vision. In fact, for some people, as you age you have to rely on medical eye drops that provide artificial tears. All serving the same purpose.

How Can I Trigger Crying?

The easiest way to cry is by evoking your emotional senses. Think of the saddest moment in your life. Is it when you went through that painful breakup? Or when you had an accident? Or even when you joined college and had to say goodbye to your ailing parents.

See, humans are emotional beings. A visit to these past traumas will instantly evoke tears. And when this happens, try not to block them. Keep going to that thought process until your body gives in.

The Bottom Line

I’m sure by now we can all agree that crying is beneficial. Whenever you feel sad or emotionally overwhelmed, find that safe spot and cry. It’s normal and there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Besides, nobody will know you cried unless you tell them.  

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Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Guide: Overcoming Victim Anxiety & Healing Emotional Wounds

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Narcissistic Abuse Image

Are you living with a narcissist? It could be your spouse, parent, boss, workmate, or friend. If you felt preyed on by this narcissistic person in your life, chances are that you are a narcissistic abuse victim. And, if this notable other is attacking you, it is time to move on from being a victim to a survivor. In this guide, we give you the best tips to help you with your narcissistic abuse recovery.

But first, what defines narcissistic abuse?

Understanding Narcissistic Abuse

Narcissistic abuse can be verbal or the emotional manipulation of one person (the victim) by another (the narcissist). Unlike other forms of abuse, the narcissist aims to control the victim. Hence the perpetrator will come up with manipulative tactics for their selfish gain. 

For example, the narcissist spouse will seem loving, kind, and the dream lover during courtship. They buy expensive gifts; take you to fancy restaurants and utter gushy compliments. However, they turn to gaslighting, silent treatment, or negging once you tie the knot.

Moreover, narcissistic abuse is often subtle. Consequently, the victim and others around them may dismiss it. Like, when an abusive parent calls you clumsy and laughs it off while patting your shoulder. Their behavior, and your silent reaction to it, makes the insults seem intentioned.

How to Identify Narcissistic Abuse?

narcissistic abuse survivor image

We have four common signs that indicate you could be a victim of narcissistic abuse.

#1: Self-Doubt

Do you doubt yourself in almost everything you do or say? For example, do you struggle to make simple decisions like ordering a takeaway, enrolling in a self-care class, or picking a dress for an evening dinner? Sadly, narcissist victims don’t trust their judgment. They always struggle making daily choices.

#2: Feeling Helpless

Often, a victim of narcissistic abuse feels like nothing seems to work in their relationship. Here, you could be trying to be gentle, considerate, humble, or forgiving to your partner. Yet all your efforts fail to keep the fire burning in the relationship. Note that this sense of helplessness triggers other negative emotions like depression and anxiety, leading to hopelessness.

#3: Anxiety

Helplessness leads to anxiety. As a victim, you are constantly worrying about the relationship. Here, you fear what can happen should you end or not end the relationship. Severe anxiety triggers eating and sleeping disorders and a series of other worry-related issues that can overwhelm the victim.

#4: Isolation

Victims of narcissistic abuse feel embarrassed, ashamed, confused, and humiliated because of being in a narcissistic relationship. Moreover, they fear that everyone knows what is going on. In turn, these victims seldom share their worries with anyone.

Narcissist victims expect other people to tell them that they need to cut links with the abusers, yet they are never ready. Since the victims dread what other people will say and won’t end the relationship with the narcissist; they withdraw from any other social interactions.

Overcoming Victim Anxiety and Healing Emotional Wounds

If you suspect that you are a victim of a narcissistic relationship, start your recovery journey as soon as possible. This journey involves confronting complex emotions like anger, grief or loss, shock, sadness, and depression. In addition, when you end a narcissistic relationship, you can get overwhelmed by anxiety, fear, paranoia, and shame. So, here are some tips to overcome these complex emotions as you move from being a victim to a survivor: –

#1: Give Yourself Time to Heal

Narcissistic abuse recovery involves deep emotional wounds that take time to heal. Cutting links with someone you love, even when they hurt you is hard. Understand that holding on to past precious memories with the narcissist is acceptable. Besides, accepting your feelings for the narcissist helps you begin your narcissistic abuse recovery journey.

#2: Have Self-Compassion

mindfulness in self-healing image

Replace self-shame with self-compassion. Here, you want to reconcile with your inner critic. To do so, start by forgiving yourself for your shortcomings. This forgiveness comes from knowing that our performance is never a reflection of our self-worth.

#3: Maintain a Growth Mindset

Aspire to grow. View the narcissistic abuse as part of your learning curve to self-discovery and growth. Also, maintain a gratitude journal. It will help you appreciate your strengths and accept your failures.

#4: Practice Mindful Meditation

Learn to live in the moment. This will help you improve your active listening skills.

#5: Practice Self Care

A self-care routine helps address the anxiety and depression that come with narcissistic abuse. Here, you want to deal with your frustration and anger by channeling the negative energies toward a productive lifestyle. Here are some self-care practices you can start today: –

  • Share your doubts and concerns with close family or friends
  • Get sufficient deep sleep every day
  • Eat a balanced healthy diet
  • Maintain a healthy weight by exercising regularly
  • Maintain good hygiene
  • Have your me-time
  • Start a hobby
  • Adopt a pet

#6: Join a Support Group

Join a support group for narcissism survivors in your locality. Here, you get to share and listen to other survivors who are in their narcissistic abuse recovery journey. Next, join an online support group to access resources and connections for specific help about the abuse. You could also try following podcasts and YouTube channels that focus on coping mechanisms in your narcissistic abuse recovery.

#7: Seek Professional Help

Often, emotional wounds from narcissistic abuse result in complications such as acute depression, eating disorders, drug and alcohol abuse, and suicidal tendencies. Help from a medical expert is best. This help may involve one-on-one or group therapy sessions, psychotherapy, and medication. A trained medical professional will assess you and decide on the best treatment method for your narcissistic abuse recovery.

Conclusion

If you are a victim in a narcissistic relationship, approaching your narcissistic abuse recovery with a positive mindset is a necessary. Start by identifying the tell-tale signs of the abuse. Then, be proactive in seeking help and taking independent steps toward healing the emotional wounds. And with this right attitude and resources, a narcissistic victim can become a survivor to lead a productive lifestyle.

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