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The Common Ego Defense Mechanisms and Their Impact on Self-Growth

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We all go through and react differently to conflict and stress at some point in our lives. But, are you the kind that will repress the situation, deny that it is happening, or direct your frustrations to the nearest person that is less threatening to you? If your mind is constantly telling you that you are a hopeless, good for nothing person, that is your ego defense mechanism at work. Mental traps our minds use unconsciously to avoid feelings of guilt or shame.

Understanding Ego Defense Mechanisms

See, ego defense mechanisms refers to the psychological strategies that we use to detach ourselves from any unpleasant thoughts, actions, or events. That way, our sanity stays intact, and we can cope with the uncomfortable phases in our lives.

The Psychoanalytic Theory

Ego defenses stem from a Psychoanalytic Theory proposed by Sigmund Freud, an Austrian Neurologist and the founder of Psychoanalysis.  The theory describes the sum of our personality based on the unconscious mind; an interaction between our id (instincts), ego (reality), and super-ego (morality).

This unconscious mind is shaped by the events from our childhood. It also dictates how we behave when in conflict or stress. If we have deeply repressed conflicts in our unconscious mind, it will show up later on in our adult lives, affecting our self-growth. Hence, Freud aimed at making this unconscious mind conscious and addressing these dysfunctional thoughts.

How It Happens

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Ego defenses are inevitable in our psychological development. For, they help us deal with unpleasant encounters. However, the unconscious mind may be clinging to an outdated reality to try and protect us from the current unpleasant situation.

And, since these cognitive errors are so ingrained in our minds, we hardly realize how much it is affecting our decision making and growth. Hence, you end up with a perception tainted with negativity that results in unrealistic beliefs.

Common Ego Defense Mechanisms

Below are the 6 most common ego defense mechanisms and how they affect our lives and self-growth process: –

#1: Extremism

Definition: Having extreme beliefs about life. Here, the person views life in black or white, with no room to accommodate in-between beliefs. They express their view in the absolute.

Examples: Using such phrases as, “I am ugly”, “Other people are always out to get me”, and “They hate me”.

Implications: False extremist beliefs leave us with low self-worth, hurting our social interactions and growth.

#2: Repression

Definition: Hiding ideas or feelings in the unconscious mind since we see them as too painful or socially unacceptable. Here, the person puts on a cheerful front unconsciously denying any unpleasant impulses in their lives.

Examples: Repressed memories of sexual abuse in a child may hinder them from forming meaningful relationships in their adult life. A phobia for pets due to a dog bite that happened to the child years ago.

Implications: Repressed memories can only be recalled using hypnosis or other therapeutic tools.

#3: Suppression

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Definition: The conscious blocking of any unpleasant feelings that we find too difficult to face. It is similar to repression, only done by the conscious mind. People who opt to suppress their feelings want to avoid getting anxious.

Examples: A patient choosing not to talk about their recent diagnosis of cancer so that they won’t have to think of the implications of the illness. A student who is sitting for an exam without adequately preparing for it may opt to remain positive about their outcomes, to prevent panic attacks.

Implications:  Suppressed emotions lead to physical stress seen as erratic blood pressure, insomnia, and memory loss.

#4: Regression

Definition: Slowing or having a negative growth due to underlying stress. Here, the person seems to act immature, childish, or in an age-inappropriate manner, as they regress to their behavior at an earlier developmental stage. This mechanism offers a temporary feeling of safety. The person relates to a safer, carefree stage in their life when all their needs were met.

Examples: A teenage bedwetting when they had stopped it a few years earlier. Adults throwing tantrums at the thought of divorce.

Implications: Regression is an ineffective way of dealing with life stressors. In turn, the persistent avoidance of hardships makes the victim over-dependent on others to make most of their life decisions.

#5: Denial

Definition: Refusing to acknowledge a difficult event in our lives. Here, the person may distort their reality by denying its existence.

Examples:  A drug, smoke, or alcohol addicts refusing to acknowledge their addiction.  A terminally ill person failing to seek medical help, hoping that the illness will cease to exist.

Implications: Temporary denial of a serious diagnosis or a traumatic event is acceptable because it gives the victim time to prepare to face the harsh reality. However, if this denial is prolonged, it may result in regressive behaviors, with the victim throwing tantrums, crying, or demanding special treatment.

#6: Sublimation

Definition: A mature ego defense mechanism where an individual channels their disruptive impulses into socially acceptable behaviors.

Examples: A person taking up a dangerous hobby to channel their childhood anger impulses into the sport. A cheating spouse taking their partners out for dinner to try and ‘compensate’ for their infidelity.

Implications: Unlike other ego defense mechanisms, sublimation is a positive way of channeling our negative impulses to a substitute object in a socially acceptable way.

What Next? Overcoming Negative Ego Defense Mechanisms

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Ego defense mechanisms can promote or be a great hindrance in self-growth. If negative, it soothes the ego into thinking that all is well, when in fact; the person has negative psychological growth. But, we can all free ourselves from these negative ego defenses using these tips:

  • Talk about your feelings
  • Control your emotions by performing appeasing activities like sublimation
  • Aim to solve any problem that arises by having a plan for action and a follow-up
  • Reorganize the way you view things by seeking psychological help in hypnosis, meditation, and breathing exercises
  • Try to find meaning in every situation so as you can learn from the unpleasant experience
  • Join a support group where you can learn from the experiences of others

Conclusion

Anytime we encounter an unpleasant situation, our egos will come up with tactics to protect us from the subsequent trauma, hence keeping us sane. However, most of these tactics derail our self-growth. You need to understand how to cope with hardships. And, seek help in addressing any dysfunctional thoughts that are now affecting your adult life.

Personal Development

9 Ways to Identify Your Soul Purpose

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Our soul purpose refers to our mission or vocation in life. It relates to finding the true meaning of life and your contribution to the universe. Think of the times you contemplate where your life is going, or your natural yearning to grow.

This has nothing to do with buying a house, getting married and having kids, or building a business empire.

Instead, it can be your yearning to create, feel, care-take, achieve, or lead. Hence, once you know your soul purpose, you can align your thoughts and goals to achieve it. That way, you attain a sense of fulfillment and live a longer, purposeful life. 

How Do You Identify Your Soul Purpose?

There are many ways to identify your soul purpose. They include: –

#1: Look Inwards

We all have what it takes to achieve our soul purpose. Yet, many of us have limiting beliefs or inner child issues. These are setbacks that make us feel that our lives are a mistake. Like we should be doing something else right now.

Yet, annoying as it sounds, we are where we need to be.

However, we should now pay attention to the soul when it speaks to us, giving us the urge to pursue a career, write a book, or go to a place. Identifying your soul purpose begins when you overcome these limiting beliefs and inner child issues and listen to your nudge to grow. Hypnotherapy and guided meditation are excellent tools that can help us in this.

#2: Practice Self Compassion

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Are you living with a disability or a chronic illness that forces you to change your career path or live away from your loved ones? You can still find your soul purpose by first accepting such limitations. Indeed, looking beyond your restrictions allows you to be an observer and not a victim. Next, you express self-compassion and divert your goals in line with your constraints. This self-awareness helps you to notice opportunities available to you for being where you are at the moment.

#3: Focus on Purpose not Goals

Whatever goals you set should align with your ultimate purpose in life. Otherwise, once you accomplish these goals, you start feeling empty and seeing the grass is greener on the other side. In addition, anytime you set a goal, ask yourself what contribution it makes towards your true passion. For example, maintain a journal where you scrutinize what you plan against your desired purpose in life.

#4: Know Your True Needs

Do you know what you need? Are these your true needs? Often, we get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, not realizing what we truly need. It could be the need to be significant, loved or connect, grow or contribute, or certain.

These are not materials needs like food, shelter, and clothing.

Then discover your true needs by attuning to yourself. Here, use such practices as Kundalini meditation and crystal healing to follow clues that your body gives you. That way, you can determine your true needs and improve your wellbeing.

#5: Have an Abundance Mindset

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Having an abundance mindset is about focusing on what you possess right now to achieve your soul purpose. You see the beauty in your current circumstances. That way, you overcome your fear of lack and begin living with a positive attitude.

An abundance mindset shifts your perspective to see your current circumstances as an exciting journey rather than a stressful life beyond your control. Focus on what you have by practicing gratitude, volunteering your skills and time to a worthy cause, and choosing your words wisely.

#6: Take Charge of Your Life

Are fear and anxiety the driving forces of your current life choices? For example, do you pursue a career to please your parents? Or, are you in an unhappy relationship to portray a successful family person as per societal norms?

Any decision you make out of fear or anxiety drives you further away from your soul purpose.

Such options make you a victim of your circumstances. Yet, your circumstances are a result of your choices. Break this vicious cycle by focusing on solutions instead of short-term quick fixes. Also, notice your tendency to blame others or complain about your circumstances. Next, hold yourself accountable to others to overcome difficult situations.

#7: Focus on What Makes You Happy

Take stock of your life so far. What past experiences brought joy to you? It could be the time you secured that all-important client for your employer. Or, the moments you spend away from home with a loved one. That is where your true passion lies. Now, focus on turning that passion into a profitable career.

#8: Create a Personal Vision Statement

Your life vision statement summarizes your values, strengths, and goals. It is an inspiring declaration about how you see yourself in the future. It can be something like, “To help others overcome their limiting beliefs by overcoming my own and reaching my goals”, or “To inspire others in nurturing their creativity.”

#9: Have Some “Me Time”

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Finally, you can identify your soul purpose by spending quality time away from the crowds to reflect on your life. As you do this, take deep breaths, seek more knowledge by reading books, listen to inspirational audios, exercise, and maintain a healthy diet.

Practicing self-care helps you appreciate yourself. It focuses on developing the best version of you that is fit for pursuing that soul purpose.

Conclusion

We all feel a force that pushes us towards a particular life direction. If this is the direction that you choose, then you are living your soul purpose. Otherwise, ignoring or assuming this nudging feeling may mean you are pursuing goals that leave you feeling empty afterward. Identify your soul purpose and the necessary life changes to achieve it.

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Awareness

Spiritual Empath: 10 Signs You Could Be One

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Picture this: Your daughter spends a lot of time away from her peers, preferring to play with her imaginary friend instead. Or, your son says he talks to his late grandma every night when he goes to bed. What can you make of this? If this child is a highly sensitive person (HSP), chances are, you are raising a spiritual empath. The same applies to adult empaths who have unique abilities to connect to the world of the spirit.

What Is a Spiritual Empath?

A spiritual empath is a highly sensitive person who senses an angel, spirit guide, or any other spiritual being nearby. And, these spiritual beings can channel their messages to the physical realm using words or actions by this spiritual empath.

However, as an empath, this heightened sensation and interaction with the world of the spirit can be overwhelming. So, discover if you are a spiritual empath by examining the following tell-tale signs: –

The Signs of a Typical Spiritual Empath

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#1: Is a Compassionate Person

A spiritual empath has profound feelings towards others, especially those in need. In turn, they find it easy to connect to both people and spiritual beings. They show kindness to all, including animals and nature.

#2: Has an Approachable Personality

Do your friends, family members, and colleagues find it easy to share their problems with you? For example, do you find yourself soothing a crying child in an airplane? Or, are you always mediating quarrels amongst your peers at school? It could be that, as a spiritual empath, you have a welcoming aura around you. Hence, those near you feel calm and trust you with their deepest fears.

#3: Hates Conflict

Do you give in to arguments for the sake of making peace? If so, you could be a spiritual empath. See, spiritual empaths are in-born peacemakers. They avoid heated arguments at all costs, even if it means losing something in the process.

#4: Feels Like an Emotional Sponge

If you find yourself aware of what others are feeling to the point of experiencing their pain, joy, anxiety, or worry, you could be a spiritual empath. Here, you absorb the negative and positive energies in your surroundings without uttering any words.

#5: Has Their Intuition Always on Point

A spiritual empath is in tune with what is happening in the immediate surroundings. In turn, they rely on how they feel about different situations to make decisions. For example, the spiritual empath may have a gut feeling that going to the shopping mall today is not a good idea. Only to switch on the news and find out there is a blizzard coming that way.

#6: Can Sense New Vibes Right Away

Do you walk into a room and feel a rush of new energy entering or leaving it? It gets complicated when you are in a crowded place because, you get bombarded with all these conflicting energies, hence, draining your mind.

#7: Treasures Their ‘Me Time’

Note that a spiritual empath has little control over what negative or positive energies to absorb. Hence, this empath feels at peace when away from the crowds, conflicting energies, or any disturbances.

#8: Is an Introverted Person

Spiritual empaths like to reflect on all the emotions and thoughts for the day. They do this by isolating themselves from the crowds, spending quiet time to think things through. In turn, they take longer to make up their minds about everything. And, they express their emotions through poetry rather than verbal conversations.

#9: Feels Exhausted in Public Places

If you are a spiritual empath, you find commuter trains, airports, shopping malls, and other crowded public areas draining. Here, negative energies from all around you get you anxious, to the point of getting sick.

#10:  Wants to End Human Suffering

Spiritual empaths sense when negative events are about to happen. For example, their intuition kicks in when a child is about to fall and hurt themselves at the poolside. And, they may notice a serious illness by looking at a pimple or a mild skin discoloration. In response, spiritual empaths try all they can to prevent or end this suffering.

Coping Mechanisms for a Spiritual Empath

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If you suspect that you are a spiritual empath, practice coping habits that protect your mental health. These are day-to-day routines that keep you in control of when to open or close those channels of communication with the spirit world.

Here are some quick tips to get you started: –

#1: Practice Self-Awareness

If you suspect that you are a spiritual empath, take time to understand yourself. Practice self-awareness to know your surroundings and identify what triggers feelings of depression and anxiety. Likewise, set healthy boundaries that ensure you only deal with situations that you can handle.

#2: Channel Your Emotions Towards Positive Activities

Did you know that spiritual empaths become spiritual teachers and professional mediums, helping others through their unique gift? So, if you have a child who shows signs of a spiritual empath, nurture these abilities.

#3: Meditate Daily

Daily meditation helps in cleansing negative energies. Likewise, it is a grounding technique that assists spiritual empaths on how to manage their thought processes. That way, they have control over how they react to others.

#4: Crystal Healing

Crystal healing taps into the healing powers of Mother Nature. For example, wearing a Rose Quartz bracelet can ground, soothe, and heal the heart chakra. Likewise, Black Tourmaline redirects negative energies away from you, grounds and calms you, and helps in activating the root chakra.

#5: Support System

Who do you run to when you feel overwhelmed? Ideally, a spiritual empath should have a supportive family and circle of friends with their best interest at heart. Likewise, seek professional help if you are going through depression or anxiety.

Conclusion

If you are a sensitive person who often connects to the spirit world, you could be a spiritual empath. Instead of suppressing your vivid dreams or thoughts, use them to help those in need around you. Still, adjust your lifestyle to cope with the overwhelming energies coming your way.

Take our 2-min quiz to find out what type of empath you are (CLICK HERE).

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Personal Development

Divine Masculine Awakening: Achieving Balance Through Spiritual Maturity

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We all have divine masculine and divine feminine archetypal energies. The divine masculine is direct and represents the giving nature. In contrast, the divine feminine is cyclical, expressing a receiving nature. When working together, these two energies dance to form a spiral similar to yin and yang or SO and CHA. Indeed, the dualistic nature of the universe exists because of these two opposite energies. Think of day and night, hot and cold, light and dark, yin and yang, and so on.

Anyone seeking spiritual maturity must nurture, honor, and balance the masculine and feminine energies. When these energies come into harmony and balance with one another, they begin to express divine qualities. Though they exist in everyone, women awaken their divine feminine nature more often, and men are encouraged to activate their divine masculine energies. Here, the individual proactively embraces a healthy way of expressing the side they wish to cultivate. For example, a man can seek to learn all of life’s lessons about masculinity.

So, this guide will focus on divine masculine energy. More so, we will define it, identify signs of its awakening, and share tips on how to awaken the divine masculine energy within you.

What is ‘Divine Masculine’?

The divine masculine is an energy of expansion. It refers to focused strength and action in a manner that is in harmony with beauty and wholeness. This energy is not gender-sensitive, hence, manifests in both men and women. It is believed that the divine masculine energy is connected to the left side of the brain.

What are the Signs of Divine Masculine Awakening?

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When you awaken your divine masculine, the following things happen: –

#1: You Develop Great Confidence

Divine masculine awakening provokes healthy confidence and belief in your actions, not to be mistaken for arrogance. It stems from having that diving masculine energy within, giving the person confidence to face any task because they know they are guided by spirit. You no longer see hurdles as stumbling blocks but as stepping stones to success.

#2: You Become Loyal and Trustworthy

When your divine masculine awakens, it brings out commitment, understanding, and faithfulness in you. It places value on the bond you share with your partner. Since it believes in the revered union of love and the boundaries necessary for the relationship to flourish, your loyalty and self-control come naturally.

Faithfulness becomes your way of living rather than an imposed behavior. Hence, when a man who labels himself as a womanizer starts to show loyalty and trust toward their long-time partner, it is a clear sign of the divine masculine awakening in them.

#3: You Become Protective

While masculine energy drives us to protect what we like, divine masculine energy drives us to protect the innocent and righteous path of life. Hence, you feel drawn to show unconditional love towards everything and everyone in your care. That way, your spouse, child, sibling, parent, friend, or colleague feels safe and protected when close to you. And, the energy will attract more people to you, for they feel safe with you.

#4: You Practice Self Care

Anyone undergoing a diving masculine awakening owns their actions. This energy helps you identify your needs. In turn, you get proactive with self-care routines as you work towards your happiness. Likewise, you are in control of your actions. Hence, you know when to exert your divine masculine power to help others.

#5: Show Responsibility

The divine masculine energy makes you responsible enough not to be a victim of those that need rescuing. More so, when you make a mistake, this energy gives you the courage to reflect and acknowledge your wrongdoing. Anyone whose divine masculine is awake sees the blame game as a waste of energy.

#6: You Are More Active

Does your comfort zone seem not comforting anymore? If you are the kind of person who felt content and seemed to settle in their career, relationships, or studies, a divine masculine awakening will push you from a passive to an active lifestyle.

Now, you find it automatic to take the initiative to go out and pursue new and higher goals. And when you rest, it is only to review and strategize your next course of action. The healthy confidence you have assures you that you can reach your goals as long as you never give up on them.

5 Ways to Awaken Your Divine

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Are you seeking to awaken the divine masculine within you? Here are 5 ways to do so: –

#1: Heal Your Father

Do you have any grudge or unresolved issues with your father, grandfather, or any other father figure? It could be anger or hatred you have for the trauma, abuse, or neglect you went through as a child. Or, it could be a sense of betrayal when your father figure gave you up for adoption. Whatever the source, strive to let go and make peace, even if this father figure is no longer alive.

#2: Heal Your Sexuality

If your sexuality revolves around seeking instant gratification or body pleasures, you need to change this perspective. By learning everything about the relationship between sexuality and divine masculinity, you will discover that your sexuality can be a great source of creativity and inspiration. Hence, you can create whatever you want from a powerful perspective. Start by reading more about the sacredness of sex and how you can practice what you learn.

#3: Physical Movement

Divine masculine awakening requires you to be a person on the move. For example, you can take part in martial arts to build your physical and mental power. Or, enroll at the gym. Your divine masculine energy gets outlet through these physical activities.

#4: Care for Others

As mentioned earlier, divine masculine energy has a giving nature. It wants to serve and share with others. Therefore, to awaken it, find a course that is bigger than you. Share your skills with those who need them.

#5: Lead a Purposeful Life

Embark on a soul-seeking journey to figure out your purpose in life. Ask deep soul questions about your existence, where you come from, and why you are here today. By doing so, you learn to live truthfully without fear of taking risks. Hence, your divine masculine energy will follow that direction to fulfill your life purpose.

Conclusion

The divine masculine and divine feminine energies work together in a balanced way to create a powerful dynamic in our lives. However, you must awaken them. We hope this guide helped you understand better what divine masculine energy is and how to awaken it. May it help you attain spiritual maturity and balance in life.

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