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5 Effective Strategies On How To Deal With Negative People

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No matter how positive, happy, loving and compassionate we are, each of us has had moments when people have tried to stir our emotions, to offend, to hurt or to humiliate us. And sometimes, unbeknownst to us, negative people involve us in an invisible swamp of negativity and pessimism. Admit it, sometimes it happens!

In our era of digital technology and social networking, meeting with negative people is almost inevitable. You can post something very positive on your social media page, hoping to provide some inspiration for your followers. But next thing you know somebody is pouring verbal dirt on you and your inspirational post. This is how all good intentions and positivity get destroyed.

You may ask: “What do they want from me? Why can’t they just leave me alone? Why do they need to push all this negativity on me?”. The answer is obvious – they need your energy. All negative people, in essence, are energy vampires. By stirring the negative emotions within you they are feeding off your energy. And the most absurd thing is that you, yourself, give them your energy.

Personally, I constantly face various forms of negativity. People try to make me upset, hurt me or just try to prove I’m wrong. That’s why I’m going to share with you five tips that I follow when I encounter negative people.

Tip 1: Don’t take on any negativity. Until you accept it, it belongs to whoever brought it.

How To Deal With Narcissists Image

The first thing to understand is that when we respond to any form of negativity, we always lose energy. In other words, we “voluntarily” give it to the offender. Think about it – do you really want it? It is best to totally ignore any manifestations of negativity put towards you.

Many people, once they hear negativity, seek to explain or to prove something to the offender. But this behavior is the result of the over-activity of the Ego. Ego always forces us to prove something to someone, it always wants to win the dispute. But these kinds of actions will never lead to anything good.  That’s why when you face negative people, give up the fight, give up the desire to prove something. Energetically you vibrate at different frequencies, so any of your arguments will not be accepted. Just keep it in mind.

Tip 2: Find compassion

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You have to realize that the person who spews out negativity does it not because he or she is evil or bad, but because he or she is overflowing with these negative emotions. He or she became so negative not because they are experiencing such a good life. His or her negative behavior is a result of suffering, self-torture, self-loathing and lack of love.

Negative people spill out onto others what they are overflowing – NEGATIVITY.

Any person who tries to offend another is deeply unhappy. And the only feeling this kind of person has to evoke is sincere compassion. It’s not easy for me even to imagine how much resentment you must have to begin offending; how much you need to hate yourself to start pouring out your hate onto others. Keep in mind – the way we treat others is a reflection of how we treat ourselves.

Tip 3: Forgive and let them go

“Hatred has never stopped hatred. Only love stops hate. This is the eternal law.” 

~ Gautama Buddha

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Always try to forgive your offenders. Resentment doesn’t lead to anything good. Moreover, resentment is often the main cause of cancer. Why torment yourself with resentment? When we focus on resentment, we live in the past. Resentment draws energy from us and prevents us from moving freely through life. That’s why it’s so important to forgive and let go. Free yourself from the past and move towards your happy future.

Tip 4: Start sharing

It may seem strange but when you meet negative people it is a signal that it’s time to share. You need to start giving (sharing) what your abuser so desperately needs. Of course, I’m talking about love. You have to understand that only a person who wasn’t loved enough, and who doesn’t love himself, is capable of negative actions.

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That’s why I’m asking you to give your love to your oppressors and with all your heart wish them well. Remember that it’s only offended people who are trying to offend. Happy people always want to make others happy. A happy person has no envy, no anger, no hatred.

When a person hurts us it is a sign that he is deeply unhappy.
Happy people don’t throw out the negativity.
They just don’t have it inside.

When I encounter negative people, I understand that my job is to give this person what he is seeking – love. And the more negativity he sends my way, the more love I sent to him in response.

Of course, there is no need to talk about love with negative people. Obviously, their egos can’t admit that they are really offended and unloved. I never try to annoy them or to communicate with them personally. I share my love by simply focusing my attention on the thought: “I bless you with my love!”. Sometimes I repeat this thought 100 times.

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To accept my love or not is the choice of every person. But at least I respond to evil with love and thus neutralize it for myself.

Once I bless a person with my love I usually express my intention to transmute any manifestation of negativity into an illusion. After that, I focus my attention on another thought: “My reality is free from all forms of negativity”.

Try this simple method and see how easily you can neutralize any negativity with just the power of your positive thought!

Tip 5: Be grateful

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Always be grateful when you meet negative people. First of all, be grateful for the life lessons they teach you: compassion, patience, unconditional love. And, secondly, be grateful for their subconscious choice to use you as a source of unconditional love. Be grateful for their trust! After all, this means that at an energy level you really radiate vibrations of love. And they felt it! That’s why subconsciously they came to you.

Conclusion

Let’s be conscious of facing negative people! It is not necessary to interact with them, to prove something to them or to encourage them to love and be kind. Just try to keep track of your feelings and emotions, and do not pull the negativity into yourself. Radiate love, compassion, and kindness instead.

Katya Ki is the Founder and Editor-In-Chief of SOLANCHA Magazine, a Feng Shui Master, a Metaphysical Expert, a Reiki Master, and Human Rights Attorney. She has been studying Eastern metaphysics and esotericism for almost 20 years now. And she's still discovering new knowledge, which is hidden in ancient teachings. During her pilgrimage to the monastery of Saint Catherine in Egypt, she discovered the SOLANCHA System. This is how the SOLANCHA journey started!

Inspirational quotes

70 Self-Love Quotes To Help You Realize How Special You Are

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In this article, we collected the best self-love quotes to help you realize just how special, unique and valuable you are, and how many reasons you have to become a self-loving person.

Here is our collection of the 70 best and most spectacular self-love quotes! We hope you’ll enjoy it!

Top 70 Self-Love Quotes

#1

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“Find the love you seek, by first finding the love within yourself. Learn to rest in that place within you that is your true home.”
– Sri Ravi Shankar

#2

Loving yourself…does not mean being self-absorbed or narcissistic, or disregarding others. Rather it means welcoming yourself as the most honored guest in your own heart, a guest worthy of respect, a lovable companion.”
– Margo Anand

#3

“I love myself for I am a beloved child of the universe and the universe lovingly takes care of me now.”
Louise Hay

#4

“To accept ourselves as we are means to value our imperfections as much as our perfections.”
– Sandra Bierig

#5

“My willingness to be intimate with my own deep feelings creates the space for intimacy with another.”
– Shakti Gawain

#6

“A strong, positive self-image is the best possible preparation for success.”
– Joyce Brothers

#7

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.”
Thich Nhat Hanh

#8

“If we can’t love ourselves, we can’t love anyone. If we can’t love the closest and dearest person in the world – ourselves – how can we love someone else? It can be passion, affection, but not love. Love always comes from the inside, and only when it overflows us, it pours out to the outside.”
– Katya Ki

#9

“If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you’ll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren’t even giving to yourself.”
– Barbara De Angelis

#10

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“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.”
– Jack Kornfield

#11

“It’s all about falling in love with yourself and sharing that love with someone who appreciates you, rather than looking for love to compensate for a self-love deficit.”
– Earth Kitt

#12

“It’s surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you’re not comfortable within yourself, you can’t be comfortable with others.”
– Sidney J. Harris

#13

“Self-love is the source of all other loves.”
– Pierre Corneille

#14

“Self respect, self-worth, and self-love, all start with self. Stop looking outside of yourself for your value.”
– Rob Liano

#15

“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”
– Oscar Wilde

#16

“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours – it is an amazing journey – and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.”
– Bob Moawad

#17

“Whatever you are doing, love yourself for doing it. Whatever you are feeling, love yourself for feeling it.”
– Thaddeus Golas

#18

“Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.”
– Malcolm S. Forbes

#19

“Accept what you don’t like about yourself. Realize that what you call “imperfections” are actually your unique qualities that fall out of the scope of the “standard.” We have been taught since our childhood to be like everyone else. And everything that distinguished us from others was condemned. But it shouldn’t be that way! We must learn to be ourselves without any limitations. We need to learn to perceive our “imperfections” as unique manifestations of ourselves.”
– Katya Ki

#20

Maya Angelou Saying About Self-Love Image

“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.”
Maya Angelou

#21

“When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs, and habits – anything that kept me small. My judgment called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving.”
– Kim McMillen

#22

“When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier.”
– Diane Von Furstenberg

#23

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

#24

“As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody if I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it “MATURITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.

As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first, I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worrying about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where everything is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know “THAT IS LIFE”!”
– Charlie Chaplin

#25

“All I can do is be me, whoever that is.”
– Bob Dylan

#26

“Realize that no one or nothing can make you whole. You’re already self-sufficient! You need to learn to love yourself regardless of whether someone else loves you or not. Your happiness cannot be dependent on your relationships.”
– Katya Ki

#27

“One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be, rather than being yourself.”
– Shannon L. Alder

#28

“I think everybody’s weird. We should all celebrate our individuality and not be embarrassed or ashamed of it.”
– Johnny Depp

#29

Rupi Kaur Quote Image

“How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.”
– Rupi Kaur

#30

“It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.”
– W.C. Fields

#31

“If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.”
– Charles Bukowski

#32

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”
– Lucille Ball

#33

“Document the moments you feel most in love with yourself – what you’re wearing, who you’re around, what you’re doing. Recreate and repeat.”
– Warsan Shire

#34

“The better you feel about yourself, the less you feel the need to show off.”
– Robert Hand

#35

“Many people believe that certain achievements in life will help them love themselves more. But this is far from reality! Neither a career, nor an expensive car, nor a luxurious mansion on the beach, nor designer clothes, will make you love yourself. All this luxury can only enhance your ego, but self-love will never depend on such things. And it is very important to understand this! You don’t need a reason to love yourself. True love is always born for no reason. We start to love ourselves just like that, here and now, just the way we are.”
– Katya Ki

#36

“The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself.”
– Steve Maraboli

#37

“When nobody celebrates you, learn to celebrate yourself. When nobody compliments you, then compliment yourself. It’s not up to other people to keep you encouraged. It’s up to you. Encouragement should come from the inside.”
– Joel Osteen

#38

“I am my own experiment. I am my own work of art.”
– Madonna

#39

Louise Hay On Criticizing Yourself Image

“You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”
– Louise Hay

#40

“I am so beautiful, sometimes people weep when they see me. And it has nothing to do with what I look like really, it is just that I gave myself the power to say that I am beautiful, and if I could do that, maybe there is hope for them too. And the great divide between the beautiful and the ugly will cease to be. Because we are all what we choose.”
– Margaret Cho

#41

“It’s not your job to like me…it’s MINE!”
– Byron Katie

#42

“People who love themselves come across as very loving, generous and kind; they express their self-confidence through humility, forgiveness and inclusiveness.”
– Sanaya Roman

#43

“Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.”
– Veronica A. Shoffstall

#44

“Confidence is knowing who you are and not changing it a bit because of someone’s version of reality is not your reality.”
– Shannon L. Alder

#45

“Stop putting people on the pedestal. Stop thinking that someone might be better than you are or worse. Learn not to compare yourself to other people. If you accept and love your uniqueness (which, as I have already said, consists of those qualities that society calls “imperfections”), then you realize that any comparison is inappropriate! You are who you are. No one is better or worse than you. Destroy all the pedestals that you have created. And understand that all people are equal. Don’t idealize anyone. We’re all just humans – nobody is perfect! Besides that the ideal is always dead, there is no movement, there is no need for development. So throw away all those thoughts about reaching this illusional ideal level of yourself. Stop this race to perfection! It doesn’t make any sense!”
– Katya Ki

#46

“To love yourself right now, just as you are, is to give yourself heaven. Don’t wait until you die. If you wait, you die now. If you love, you live now.”
– Alan Cohen

#47

“One of the best guides to how to be self-loving is to give ourselves the love we are often dreaming about receiving from others. There was a time when I felt lousy about my over-forty body, saw myself as too fat, too this, or too that. Yet I fantasized about finding a lover who would give me the gift of being loved as I am. It is silly, isn’t it, that I would dream of someone else offering to me the acceptance and affirmation I was withholding from myself. This was a moment when the maxim “You can never love anybody if you are unable to love yourself” made clear sense. And I add, “Do not expect to receive the love from someone else you do not give yourself.”
– Bell Hooks

#48

“A healthy self-love means we have no compulsion to justify to ourselves or others why we take vacations, why we sleep late, why we buy new shoes, why we spoil ourselves from time to time. We feel comfortable doing things which add quality and beauty to life.”
Andrew Matthews

#49

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“Celebrate who you are in your deepest heart. Love yourself and the world will love you.”
– Amy Leigh Mercree

#50

“Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself – no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are – completely; the good and the bad – and make changes as YOU see fit – not because you think someone else wants you to be different.”
– Stacey Charter

#51

“We can’t be so desperate for love that we forget where we can always find it within.”
– Alexandra Elle

#52

“I think the most important thing in life is self-love, because if you don’t have self-love, and respect for everything about your own body, your own soul, your own capsule, then how can you have an authentic relationship with anyone else?”
– Shailene Woodley

#53

“I come across too much material on “how to make a man want you”, “how to make a man commit”, “how to make a man finally pop the question”, “how to make a man take you seriously”, “how to get into a man’s emotions.” And I laugh. My dear fellow women, enough! Do not busy yourself with such things! Instead, fall in love with yourself!”
– C. JoyBell C.

#54

“Self-love can’t exist without self-respect. Learn to respect yourself, your time and space! Free your space from negative people, as well as from those people with who you are uncomfortable with or who are not interesting for you to communicate with. Free yourself from those people who steal your energy. Stop talking to people who only talk about themselves, but are never interested in you. Change your environment! As soon as you free yourself from people you don’t resonate with, you will attract a new environment into your life. From now on surround yourself only with people you enjoy interacting with.”
– Katya Ki

#55

“Loving yourself isn’t vanity. It is sanity.”
– Katrina Mayer

#56

“If you don’t love yourself, you won’t be happy with yourself. If you can’t love yourself, you can’t love anyone else. You can’t give the love you do not have. You can’t make anyone love you without loving yourself first.”
– Kemi Sogunle

#57

“Self-love has very little to do with how you feel about your outer self. It’s about accepting all of yourself.”
– Tyra Banks

#58

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”
– Lucille Ball

#59

“Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.”
– Louise Hay

#60

fall in love with yourself image

“To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.”
– Robert Morely

#61

“You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.”
– Diane Von Furstenberg

#62

“Love yourself unconditionally, just as you love those closest to you despite their faults.”
– Les Brown

#63

“Every time you step over yourself in order to not offend someone, you show a deep disrespect for yourself and the absence of self-love.”
– Katya Ki

#64

“Self-love is the elixir of an immortal heart.”
– Amy Leigh Mercree

#65

The journey isn’t about becoming a different person. It’s about loving who you are right now.
– Suzanne Heyn

#66

There is nothing rarer, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the essence of beauty.
– Steve Maraboli

#67

Be careful how you are talking to yourself because you are listening.
– Lisa Hayes

#68

In a society that profits from your self-doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act.
– Caroline Cardwell

#69

Be the love you never received.
– Rune Lazuli

#70

The highest form of intelligence is to view yourself without judgment.
Jiddu Krishnamurti

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Personal Development

How To Forgive Someone Who Has Deeply Hurt You

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Each of us, regardless of age and life experience, have been hurt by other people. Sometimes it’s easy to forgive and let go of your resentment. But there are situations that hurt us so deeply that we can’t let go of the pain that takes away our energy and inner peace. If you feel hurt and think that it’s definitely not easy for you to forgive someone who has caused you pain then this article can be helpful. I’ll share with you how to forgive by using different effective techniques for letting go of your resentment.

Why Do We Need to Forgive?

Before I start going into different forgiveness techniques I want you to have a clear understanding of why you need to forgive. Often, I hear people saying: “Why do I need to forgive if the person who hurt me never even apologized?”. And this is a good question! By answering this question I want to give you a list of very serious reasons why you need to learn how to forgive.

10 Reasons Why We Need to Learn How to Forgive

#1 Forgiveness allows us to take responsibility for our own happiness

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Everything that we attract into our lives is just a reflection of our inner world. Our thoughts and actions create our environment. The law of attraction teaches us that we always attract what we radiate.

When we radiate anger and resentment (even on the subconscious level), we make our way, also filled with anger and resentment. Our feelings and emotions are the building blocks for our future.

In other words, if you feel negative emotions towards someone, eventually you will attract these kinds of emotions towards you. Therefore, focusing on something negative will always bring more negativity in your life.

#2 Forgiveness helps us to develop

Family members, husbands, wives, friends, bosses, etc. — all come into our lives so we can learn more about ourselves. Other people are a reflection of our hidden selves. Each person that you meet is a teacher who has come into your life with a special mission – to show you your hidden blocks or to teach you to forgive, to love, to be more compassionate or patient.

By thanking people for being part of your journey and teaching you invaluable life lessons, you will take a huge step toward expanding your consciousness.

If you have a “broken heart” after breaking up with your partner, forgiveness will help you to avoid repeating this unpleasant scenario in the future. If you learn how to forgive the betrayal from your beloved and all the pain he/she caused then you learn that karmic lesson and will never repeat it again in your future relationship. By going through lesson after lesson, you will expand your consciousness that will allow you to avoid repeating the same unpleasant experience over and over again.

#3 Forgiveness helps us stop being the victim

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When you learn how to forgive and be grateful for your karmic lessons, you will finally stop being the victim. Each of us has the gift of creating our own reality. However, you can’t be both – the victim and the Master of your life. When you blame someone else for your problems, when you have resentment towards someone, when you’re angry and mad, you automatically give the other person control of your life and thus choose the role of the victim.

Therefore, if you want to build your life according to your own rules, if you want to choose your destiny and be the Creator of your own reality, then you need to take responsibility for every situation that happens in your world. Instead of blaming others, take a closer look at yourself, your subconscious fears and insecurities, your blocked emotions and feelings. You need to learn your “dark side” and find out what hidden parts of you attracted certain scenarios and people’s behaviors.

Only through self-knowledge can you stop being a victim and become responsible for your own life.

#4 Forgiveness helps us to understand that most people do their best

Treat other people with understanding and empathy. Their actions may be incomprehensible to you, but most people do their best according to their level of awareness and understanding of their surroundings.

#5 Forgiveness helps to be forgiven

We are all human beings and capable of making mistakes. And deep down, we all hope for forgiveness for ourselves. When we forgive others for their actions and the pain they caused us, we create the space in which our wrong actions (conscious or unconscious) against other people will also be forgiven.

The law of attraction works in the way that if we give something, eventually, we will get it back. So, if you offer somebody your forgiveness, eventually, when you need it most, you will be forgiven too.

#6 Forgiveness helps to take control of ego and pride

forgiveness image

Most spiritual teachers would agree with me saying that ego and pride are the biggest obstacles on your spiritual path. It’s extremely difficult to take control of them. Therefore, most spiritual traditions have an endless number of practices helping to gain that control.

However, the most effective lesson that life can give you to test your ego is to put you into the situation when you’re deeply hurt. The whole situation of feeling resentment is a wonderful life lesson that helps you to destroy your ego and pride. You see, if you have too much pride you will never be able to forgive. Forgiveness takes compassion, love, and empathy which are opposite to ego and pride.

#7 Forgiveness creates space for new relationships

By forgiving and letting go, we create a space that we can fill with new people, relationships, and feelings.

#8 Forgiveness removes the separation

karmic relationship healing image

When we have resentment towards someone we create a life that makes us feel like we are not safe. Subconsciously, we feel that we are not protected, insecure, that something bad can happen at any moment. You see, resentment creates disconnection that leads to a conflict with the Universe. Our entire Universe is built on the oneness. And any separation that happens in the macro or micro-world leads to a disaster.

Resentment is an act of separation in our 3D world. Oppositely, forgiveness itself is an act of reuniting and of recognition of oneness with all people and the world we live in.

#9 Resentment can cause cancer

A huge body of evidence has connected cancer with emotional health, and specifically to high-stress levels, a chronic feeling of resentment (suppressed anger) to cancer.

“Extremely low anger scores have been noted in numerous studies of patients with cancer. Such low scores suggest suppression, repression, or restraint of anger. There is evidence to show that suppressed anger can be a precursor to the development of cancer, and also a factor in its progression after diagnosis” [source].

“Extreme suppression of anger was the most commonly identified characteristic of 160 breast cancer patients who were given a detailed psychological interview and self-administered questionnaire” [source]

#10 Forgiveness keeps us away from hurting others

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Have you heard the saying: “Hurt people hurt people”? We all are capable of hurting others as long as we have resentment. Only people that deeply hurt can reflect their pain on others. You see, you always give people what you’re made of. If you are made of love, you will radiate love, and people around you become more loving. But if you hold resentment, you spread the pain that caused it, and people around you will eventually become victims of your destructive pain. Usually, it is our families, friends and the closest people that suffer from our suppressed anger.

Therefore, if you want the people you love to be happy, give them a gift of forgiveness.

5 Spiritual Tools For Forgiveness

#1 Prayer

praying girl image

Regardless of whether you belong to any religion or not, prayer is a very powerful spiritual tool to forgive someone.

For performing forgiveness prayer, imagine the offender mentally and repeatedly say the following words:

“With gratitude, love and Divine help, I forgive you (name) and accept you for who you are completely.

I apologize to you (Name) for provoking you with my thoughts or actions (conscious or unconscious) to hurt me. I also apologize to you (Name) for negative emotions, thoughts, and actions towards you.

I’m grateful for the karmic lesson that I learned with your help. I’m grateful for your assistance on my spiritual journey.

I’m taking full responsibility for this situation and letting you go!”

#2 Meditation

Daily Prayer And Meditation Image

Find a comfortable place where no one will disturb you. Close your eyes, relax.

Once you are completely relaxed, imagine that you are in a darkened theater hall. There is a small stage in front of you. Now visualize the person you want to forgive.

When you see this person clearly, imagine that something good is happening to him/her, something that is of great importance to this person. Visualize this person smiling and happy. Hold this image in your mind for a few minutes, and then let it disappear.

Now visualize yourself on that stage. Imagine that something good happened to you. Imagine yourself happy and smiling.

Now concentrate on the idea that there are enough good things in the Universe for all of us. When you feel that your concentration is going away, finish the meditation.

This exercise dissolves the dark clouds of accumulated resentment. Some will find this exercise very difficult. However, consistent practice will make this meditation easier and easier. Do this meditation once a day for a month and see how much easier your life will become.

#3 Making a List

Writing notes image

Write on a piece of paper the names of all the people you think have ever hurt you. Next to each person’s name, write what they did to you and what you resent them for.

Then close your eyes, relax, and one by one visualize each person. Hold a small conversation with each of them and explain to them that in the past you felt anger or resentment towards them, but now intend to do everything in your power to forgive them for everything. Give them your blessing and say: “I forgive you and let you go. Be happy.”

When you are done with this process, write on that piece of paper, “Now I forgive and let you all go”. Burn that piece of paper as a symbol that you are freed from these experiences of the past.

#4 Karmic Relationship Healing Practice

It is a very powerful practice that is aimed at the liberation from negative energy cords to a particular person. I would say that this is the most effective way to heal yourself from resentment and any negative emotions towards other people. To learn more about this practice read my article “Karmic Relationship Healing: Effective Practice To Let Your Past Go!”.

The Bottom Line

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Mantras

Praises to the Twenty-One Taras (English And Tibetan Versions)

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Praises to the Twenty-One Taras Image

Praises to the Twenty-One Taras is a traditional prayer in Tibetan Buddhism to the female Bodhisattva Tara. When you chant these praises, something magical happens and you feel yourself transcend into another realm. Every word/syllable you pronounce with your deep concentration transcends your consciousness. In this article, I will introduce you to the Twenty-One Taras and to the magical practice of Praises to the Twenty-One Taras.

Twenty-One Taras

Each of the twenty-one emanations of Tara is a different color and an entity in her own right, addressing different manifestations of our existence that require assistance from the goddess.

Twenty-One Taras Image

Here is a description of the Twenty-One Taras:

  1. Red Tara, the quick heroine who grants the power of control and effective persuasion.
  2. The Great Peaceful White Tara, who pacifies spirit harms, negative karma, delusions, and diseases.
  3. The Great Increasing One, Golden Tara, who increases life, merit, good fortune, fame, and prosperity.
  4. The Great Long-Life Yellow Tara, who grants longevity.
  5. The Great Hum-making Orange Tara, who brings other beings close to you.
  6. Black-Red Tara, victorious over the Three Worlds, who protects from spirit harm.
  7. Black Tara, slightly wrathful, who dispels all black magic and harmful spells.
  8. Red Tara, destroyer of the enemy Mara, who destroys the four types of mara.
  9. White Tara, the three sublime, who protects all beings from fear and danger.
  10. Red Tara, destroyer of maras, who controls the world.
  11. Orange Tara, eliminator of poverty, who brings wealth.
  12. The Orange Tara of auspicious beauty, who makes everything auspicious.
  13. Fire-Blazing Red Tara, who pierces your enemy (which is the delusion of your own mind).
  14. Black Tara, slightly wrinkled and wrathful, who pierces interference.
  15. White Tara, the great pacifier, who brings harmony.
  16. Red Tara, liberating with wisdom-Hum, for wisdom and increasing the power of mantras.
  17. Orange Tara, shaking the three worlds, who controls the power of mantras.
  18. White Tara, who eliminates poisons and overcomes their effects.
  19. White Tara, for release from prison and overcoming quarrels and fights.
  20. Orange Tara, for eliminating contagious diseases.
  21. White Tara, whose venerable actions make all activities successful.

How To Practice Praises To The Twenty-One Taras?

Go slowly initially, and feel the words, syllables, and their meanings transcending your consciousness. Soon you will discover your own rhythm.

As you recite, contemplate as follows: with each praise and prostration, just as one spark of fire comes from another, a replica of Tara manifests and sinks into you.

Visualization

TAM seed mantra image

While reciting the Praises to the Twenty-One Taras it’s very beneficial to perform the following visualization.

Visualize how The white syllable āḥ consisting of light, appears in your heart. It turns into a white lunar disk. In the center of the disc appears the green syllable Tāṃ. This syllable represents the essence of the bliss-filled, omniscient mind of Tara, embodying wisdom and compassion. There are the syllables of the mantra OM TARE TUTTARE TURE SOHA around the Tam syllable on the lunar disk. These syllables of the mantra are created out of the green light.

Visualize how a rainbow light emanates in all directions from the syllable Tam. This light is calling Tara, who then appears in the space in front of you.

Tara is sitting on the Lotus flower and the moon disk. She is young and extraordinarily beautiful. Her Divine body is made of emerald light. Her right-hand rests on her right knee in a gesture of giving.

With her left hand, she is holding the blue Lotus.

Her left leg is tucked in and her right leg is slightly extended. Her face is radiant with beauty, and with loving-kindness she is smiling.

Space around Her is filled with 21 Tara, as well as all the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas.

Visualize that all living beings are sitting around you. And you are performing Praises to the Twenty-One Taras for all these beings and the whole world.

The Praises To The Twenty-One Taras (English Version)

tara mantra power image

Let me and all who needs protection,
Enter beneath your right-hand mudra
Of granting boons and refuge mudra,
And be relieved from every fear.

OM I prostrate to the goddess foe destroyer, liberating lady Tara
Homage to TARE, saviouress, heroine,
With TUTTARE dispelling all fears,
Granting all benefits with TURE,
To her with sound SOHA, I bow.

Invocation

From your sublime abode at the Potala, O Tara,
Born from the green letter TAM
Your crown adorned with Amitabha,
Action mother of the buddhas of the three times,
Tara, please come with your attendants.

The gods and demi-gods bow to your lotus feet, O Tara,
Your who rescue all who are destitute,
To you, Mother Tara, I pay homage.

The Praises

Om! I prostrate to the noble transcendent liberator!

1. Homage! Tara, swift, heroic!
Eyes like lightning instantaneous!
Sprung from op’ning stamens of the
Lord of three world’s tear-born lotus!

2. Homage! She whose face combines a
Hundred autumn moons at fullest!
Blazing with light rays resplendent
As a thousand star collection!

3. Homage! Golden-blue one, lotus
Water born, in hand adorned!
Giving, effort, calm, austerities,
Patience, meditation her sphere!

4. Homage! Crown of tathagatas,
Actions triumph without limit
Relied on by conquerors’ children,
Having reached every perfection!

5. Homage! Filling with TUTTARE,
HUM, desire, direction, and space!
Trampling with her feet the seven worlds,
Able to draw forth all beings!

6. Homage! Worshipped by the all-lords,
Shakra, Agni, Brahma, Marut!
Honored by the hosts of spirits,
Corpse-raisers, Gandharvas, yakshas!

7. Homage! With Her TRAD and PHAT sounds
Destroying foes’ magic diagrams!
Her feet pressing, left out, right in,
Blazing in a raging fire-blaze!

8. Homage! TURE, very dreadful!
Destroyer of Mara’s champion(s)!
She with frowning lotus visage
Who is the slayer of all enemies!

9. Homage! At the heart her fingers,
Adorn her with Three Jewel mudra!
Light-ray masses all excited!
All directions’ wheels adorn her!

10. Homage! She so joyous, radiant,
Crown emitting garlands of light!
Mirthful, laughing with TUTTARE,
Subjugating maras, devas!

11. Homage! She able to summon
All earth-guardians’ assembly!
Shaking, frowning, with her HUM sign
Saving from every misfortune!

12. Homage! Crown adorned with crescent
Moon, all ornaments most shining!
Amitabha in her hair-knot
Sending out much light eternal!

13. Homage! She ’mid wreath ablaze like
Eon-ending fire abiding!
Right stretched, left bent, joy surrounds you
Troops of enemies destroying!

14. Homage! She who strikes the ground with
Her palm, and with her foot beats it!
Scowling, with the letter HUM the
Seven levels she does conquer!

15. Homage! Happy, virtuous, peaceful!
She whose field is peace, nirvana!
She endowed with OM and SOHA,
Destroyer of the great evil!

16. Homage! She with joy surrounded
Tearing foes’ bodies asunder,
Frees with HUM and knowledge mantra,
Arrangement of the ten letters!

17. Homage! TURE! With seed letter
Of the shape of syllable HUM!
By foot-stamping shakes the three worlds,
Meru, Mandara, and Vindhya!

18. Homage! Holding in her hand the
Hare-marked moon of deva-lake form!
With twice spoken TARA and PHAT,
Totally dispelling poison!

19. Homage! She whom gods and their kings,
And the kinnaras do honor!
Armored in all joyful splendor,
She dispels bad dreams and conflicts!

20. Homage! She whose two eyes bright with
Radiance of sun and full moon!
With twice HARA and TUTTARE
She dispels severe contagion!

21. Homage! Full of liberating
Pow’r by the set of three natures!
Destroys hosts of spirits, yakshas,
And raised corpses! Supreme! TURE!

The following dedications may be made:

Due to the vast merit, I create with this practice, please, Mother Tara, may I soon attain your enlightened state that I may liberate all sentient beings from their suffering. May the precious bodhi mind in me, not yet born, arise and grow. May the bodhicitta already born within me have no decline but instead, increase forevermore.

In all my rebirths may I never be separated from perfect spiritual masters and enjoy the magnificent Dharma. May I complete all qualities and stages of the path and may I quickly attain the state of Vajradhara.

The Praises To The Twenty-One Taras (Tibetan Version)

White Tara Goddess Image

Invocation

PO TA LA YI NÄ CHHOG NÄ
TAM YIG JANG KHU LÄ THRUNG SHING
ÖPAG ME KYI U LA GYÄN
DÜ SUM SANG GYÄ THRIN LÄ MA
DRÖL MA KHOR CHÄ SHEG SU SÖL

Prostration

LHA DANG LHA MIN CHÖ PÄN GYI
ZHAB KYI PÄ MO LA TÜ DE
PHONG PA KÜN LÄ DRÖL DZÄ MA
DRÖL MA YUM LA CHHAG TSHÄL LO

The Praises

OM JE TSÜN MA PHAG MA DRÖL MA LA CHHAG TSHÄL LO

  1. CHHAG TSHÄL DRÖL MA NYUR MA PA MO
    CHÄN NI KÄ CHIG LOG DANG DRA MA
    JIG TEN SUM GÖN CHHU KYE ZHÄL GYI
    GE SAR JE WA LÄ NI JUNG MA
  2. CHHAG TSHÄL TÖN KÄI DA WA KÜN TU
    GANG WA GYA NI TSEG PÄI ZHÄL MA
    KAR MA TONG THRAG TSHOG PA NAM KYI
    RAB TU CHHE WÄI Ö RAB BAR MA
  3. CHHAG TSHÄL SER NGO CHHU NÄ KYE KYI
    PÄ MÄ CHHAG NI NAM PAR GYÄN MA
    JIN PA TSÖN DRÜ KA THUB ZHI WA
    ZÖ PA SAM TÄN CHÖ YÜL NYI MA
  4. CHHAG TSHÄL DE ZHIN SHEG PÄI TSUG TOR
    THA YÄ NAM PAR GYÄL WAR CHÖ MA
    MA LÜ PHA RÖL CHHIN PA THOB PÄI
    GYÄL WÄI SÄ KYI SHIN TU TEN MA
  5. CHHAG TSHÄL TUTTARA HUM YI GE
    DÖ DANG CHHOG DANG NAM KHA GANG MA
    JIG TEN DÜN PO ZHAB KYI NÄN TE
    LÜ PA ME PAR GUG PAR NÜ MA
  6. CHHAG TSHÄL GYA JIN ME LHA TSHANG PA
    LUNG LHA NA TSHOG WANG CHHUG CHHÖ MA
    JUNG PO RO LANG DRI ZA NAM DANG
    NÖ JIN TSHOG KYI DÜN NÄ TÖ MA
  7. CHHAG TSHÄL TRAD CHE JA DANG PHAT KYI
    PHA RÖL THRÜL KHOR RAB TU JOM MA
    YÄ KUM YÖN KYANG ZHAB KYI NÄN TE
    ME BAR THRUG PA SHIN TU BAR MA
  8. CHHAG TSHÄL TURE JIG PA CHHEN PO
    DÜ KYI PA WO NAM PAR JOM MA
    CHHU KYE ZHÄL NI THRO NYER DÄN DZÄ
    DRA WO THAM CHÄ MA LÜ SÖ MA
  9. CHHAG TSHÄL KÖN CHHOG SUM TSHÖN CHHAG GYÄI
    SOR MÖ THUG KAR NAM PAR GYÄN MA
    MA LÜ CHHOG KYI KHOR LÖ GYÄN PÄI
    RANG GI Ö KYI TSHOG NAM THRUG MA
  10. CHHAG TSHÄL RAB TU GA WA JI PÄI
    U GYÄN Ö KYI THRENG WA PEL MA
    ZHE PA RAB ZHÄ TUTTARA YI
    DÜ DANG JIG TEN WANG DU DZÄ MA
  11. CHHAG TSHÄL SA ZHI KYONG WÄI TSHOG NAM
    THAM CHÄ GUG PAR NÜ MA NYI MA
    THRO NYER YO WÄI YI GE HUM GI
    PHONG PA THAM CHÄ NAM PAR DRÖL MA
  12. CHHAG TSHÄL DA WÄI DUM BÜ U GYÄN
    GYÄN PA THAM CHÄ SHIN TU BAR MA
    RÄL PÄI KHUR NA Ö PAG ME LÄ
    TAG PAR SHIN TU Ö RAB DZÄ MA
  13. CHHAG TSHÄL KÄL PÄI THA MÄI ME TAR
    BAR WÄI THRENG WÄI Ü NA NÄ MA
    YÄ KYANG YÖN KUM KÜN NÄ KOR GÄI
    DRA YI PUNG NI NAM PAR JOM MA
  14. CHHAG TSHÄL SA ZHII NGÖ LA CHHAG GI
    THIL GYI NÜN CHING ZHAB KYI DUNG MA
    THRO NYER CHÄN DZÄ YI GE HUM GI
    RIM PA DÜN PO NAM NI GEM MA
  15. CHHAG TSHÄL DE MA GE MA ZHI MA
    NYA NGÄN DÄ ZHI CHÖ YÜL NYI MA
    SVAHA OM DANG YANG DAG DÄN PÄ
    DIG PA CHHEN PO JOM PA NYI MA
  16. CHHAG TSHÄL KÜN NÄ KOR RAB GA WÄI
    DRA YI LÜ NI NAM PAR GEM MA
    YI GE CHU PÄI NGAG NI KÖ PÄI
    RIG PA HUM LÄ DRÖL MA NYI MA
  17. CHHAG TSHÄL TURE ZHAB NI DEB PÄ
    HUM GI NAM PÄI SA BÖN NYI MA
    RI RAB MANDHARA DANG BIG JE
    JIG TEN SUM NAM YO WA NYI MA
  18. CHHAG TSHÄL LHA YI TSHO YI NAM PÄI
    RI DAG TAG CHÄN CHHAG NA NAM MA
    TARA NYI JÖ PHAT KYI YI GE
    DUG NAM MA LÜ PA NI SEL MA
  19. CHHAG TSHÄL LHA YI TSHOG NAM GYÄL PO
    LHA DANG MI AM CHI YI TEN MA
    KÜN NÄ GO CHHA GA WÄI JI GYI
    TSÖ DANG MI LAM NGÄN PA SEL MA
  20. CHHAG TSHÄL NYI MA DA WA GYÄ PÄI
    CHÄN NYI PO LA Ö RAB SÄL MA
    HARA NYI JÖ TUTTARA YI
    SHIN TU DRAG PÖI RIM NÄ SEL MA
  21. CHHAG TSHÄL DE NYI SUM NAM KÖ PÄ
    ZHI WÄI THÜ DANG YANG DAG DÄN MA
    DÖN DANG RO LANG NÖ JIN TSHOG NAM
    JOM PA TURE RAB CHHOG NYI MA

TSA WÄI NGAG KYI TÖ PA DI DANG
CHHAG TSHÄL WA NI NYI SHU TSA CHIG

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