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Personal Development

How To Forgive Someone Who Has Deeply Hurt You

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Each of us, regardless of age and life experience, have been hurt by other people. Sometimes it’s easy to forgive and let go of your resentment. But there are situations that hurt us so deeply that we can’t let go of the pain that takes away our energy and inner peace. If you feel hurt and think that it’s definitely not easy for you to forgive someone who has caused you pain then this article can be helpful. I’ll share with you how to forgive by using different effective techniques for letting go of your resentment.

Why Do We Need to Forgive?

Before I start going into different forgiveness techniques I want you to have a clear understanding of why you need to forgive. Often, I hear people saying: “Why do I need to forgive if the person who hurt me never even apologized?”. And this is a good question! By answering this question I want to give you a list of very serious reasons why you need to learn how to forgive.

10 Reasons Why We Need to Learn How to Forgive

#1 Forgiveness allows us to take responsibility for our own happiness

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Everything that we attract into our lives is just a reflection of our inner world. Our thoughts and actions create our environment. The law of attraction teaches us that we always attract what we radiate.

When we radiate anger and resentment (even on the subconscious level), we make our way, also filled with anger and resentment. Our feelings and emotions are the building blocks for our future.

In other words, if you feel negative emotions towards someone, eventually you will attract these kinds of emotions towards you. Therefore, focusing on something negative will always bring more negativity in your life.

#2 Forgiveness helps us to develop

Family members, husbands, wives, friends, bosses, etc. — all come into our lives so we can learn more about ourselves. Other people are a reflection of our hidden selves. Each person that you meet is a teacher who has come into your life with a special mission – to show you your hidden blocks or to teach you to forgive, to love, to be more compassionate or patient.

By thanking people for being part of your journey and teaching you invaluable life lessons, you will take a huge step toward expanding your consciousness.

If you have a “broken heart” after breaking up with your partner, forgiveness will help you to avoid repeating this unpleasant scenario in the future. If you learn how to forgive the betrayal from your beloved and all the pain he/she caused then you learn that karmic lesson and will never repeat it again in your future relationship. By going through lesson after lesson, you will expand your consciousness that will allow you to avoid repeating the same unpleasant experience over and over again.

#3 Forgiveness helps us stop being a victim

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When you learn how to forgive and be grateful for your karmic lessons, you will finally stop being the victim. Each of us has the gift of creating our own reality. However, you can’t be both – the victim and the Master of your life. When you blame someone else for your problems, when you have resentment towards someone, when you’re angry and mad, you automatically give the other person control of your life and thus choose the role of the victim.

Therefore, if you want to build your life according to your own rules, if you want to choose your destiny and be the Creator of your own reality, then you need to take responsibility for every situation that happens in your world. Instead of blaming others, take a closer look at yourself, your subconscious fears and insecurities, your blocked emotions and feelings. You need to face your “shadow self” and find out what hidden parts of you attracted certain scenarios and people’s behaviors.

Only through self-knowledge can you stop being a victim and become responsible for your own life.

#4 Forgiveness helps us to understand that most people do their best

Treat other people with understanding and empathy. Their actions may be incomprehensible to you, but most people do their best according to their level of awareness and understanding of their surroundings.

#5 Forgiveness helps to be forgiven

We are all human beings and capable of making mistakes. And deep down, we all hope for forgiveness for ourselves. When we forgive others for their actions and the pain they caused us, we create the space in which our wrong actions (conscious or unconscious) against other people will also be forgiven.

The law of attraction works in the way that if we give something, eventually, we will get it back. So, if you offer somebody your forgiveness, eventually, when you need it most, you will be forgiven too.

#6 Forgiveness helps to take control of ego and pride

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Most spiritual teachers would agree with me saying that ego and pride are the biggest obstacles on your spiritual path. It’s extremely difficult to take control of them. Therefore, most spiritual traditions have an endless number of practices helping to gain that control.

However, the most effective lesson that life can give you to test your ego is to put you into the situation when you’re deeply hurt. The whole situation of feeling resentment is a wonderful life lesson that helps you to destroy your ego and pride. You see, if you have too much pride you will never be able to forgive. Forgiveness takes compassion, love, and empathy which are opposite to ego and pride.

#7 Forgiveness creates space for new relationships

By forgiving and letting go, we create a space that we can fill with new people, relationships, and feelings.

#8 Forgiveness removes the separation

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When we have resentment towards someone we create a life that makes us feel like we are not safe. Subconsciously, we feel that we are not protected, insecure, that something bad can happen at any moment. You see, resentment creates disconnection that leads to a conflict with the Universe. Our entire Universe is built on the oneness. And any separation that happens in the macro or micro-world leads to a disaster.

Resentment is an act of separation in our 3D world. Oppositely, forgiveness itself is an act of reuniting and of recognition of oneness with all people and the world we live in.

#9 Resentment can cause cancer

A huge body of evidence has connected cancer with emotional health, and specifically to high-stress levels, a chronic feeling of resentment (suppressed anger) to cancer.

“Extremely low anger scores have been noted in numerous studies of patients with cancer. Such low scores suggest suppression, repression, or restraint of anger. There is evidence to show that suppressed anger can be a precursor to the development of cancer, and also a factor in its progression after diagnosis” [source].

“Extreme suppression of anger was the most commonly identified characteristic of 160 breast cancer patients who were given a detailed psychological interview and self-administered questionnaire” [source]

#10 Forgiveness keeps us away from hurting others

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Have you heard the saying: “Hurt people hurt people”? We all are capable of hurting others as long as we have resentment. Only people that deeply hurt can reflect their pain on others. You see, you always give people what you’re made of. If you are made of love, you will radiate love, and people around you become more loving. But if you hold resentment, you spread the pain that caused it, and people around you will eventually become victims of your destructive pain. Usually, it is our families, friends and the closest people that suffer from our suppressed anger.

Therefore, if you want the people you love to be happy, give them a gift of forgiveness.

5 Spiritual Tools For Forgiveness

#1 Prayer

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Regardless of whether you belong to any religion or not, prayer is a very powerful spiritual tool to forgive someone.

For performing forgiveness prayer, imagine the offender mentally and repeatedly say the following words:

“With gratitude, love and Divine help, I forgive you (name) and accept you for who you are completely.

I apologize to you (Name) for provoking you with my thoughts or actions (conscious or unconscious) to hurt me. I also apologize to you (Name) for negative emotions, thoughts, and actions towards you.

I’m grateful for the karmic lesson that I learned with your help. I’m grateful for your assistance on my spiritual journey.

I’m taking full responsibility for this situation and letting you go!”

#2 Meditation

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Find a comfortable place where no one will disturb you. Close your eyes, relax.

Once you are completely relaxed, imagine that you are in a darkened theater hall. There is a small stage in front of you. Now visualize the person you want to forgive.

When you see this person clearly, imagine that something good is happening to him/her, something that is of great importance to this person. Visualize this person smiling and happy. Hold this image in your mind for a few minutes, and then let it disappear.

Now visualize yourself on that stage. Imagine that something good happened to you. Imagine yourself happy and smiling.

Now concentrate on the idea that there are enough good things in the Universe for all of us. When you feel that your concentration is going away, finish the meditation.

This exercise dissolves the dark clouds of accumulated resentment. Some will find this exercise very difficult. However, consistent practice will make this meditation easier and easier. Do this meditation once a day for a month and see how much easier your life will become.

#3 Making a List

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Write on a piece of paper the names of all the people you think have ever hurt you. Next to each person’s name, write what they did to you and what you resent them for.

Then close your eyes, relax, and one by one visualize each person. Hold a small conversation with each of them and explain to them that in the past you felt anger or resentment towards them, but now intend to do everything in your power to forgive them for everything. Give them your blessing and say: “I forgive you and let you go. Be happy.”

When you are done with this process, write on that piece of paper, “Now I forgive and let you all go”. Burn that piece of paper as a symbol that you are freed from these experiences of the past.

#4 Karmic Relationship Healing Practice

It is a very powerful practice that is aimed at the liberation from negative energy cords to a particular person. I would say that this is the most effective way to heal yourself from resentment and any negative emotions towards other people. To learn more about this practice read my article “Karmic Relationship Healing: Effective Practice To Let Your Past Go!”.

The Bottom Line

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Representatives of different religions, as well as numerous psychologists and spiritual teachers, talk about the importance of forgiveness. They all agree on one thing – if the offender appeared in your life, there is a reason for it. This means that for some reason we need to go through this difficult and painful lesson, just for learning how to love and forgive regardless of circumstances.

Katya Ki is the Founder of SOLANCHA Magazine, a Metaphysical Expert, a Reiki Master, and Human Rights Attorney. She has been studying Eastern metaphysics, cosmology, and esotericism for almost 20 years now. And she's still discovering new knowledge, which is hidden in ancient teachings. During her pilgrimage to the monastery of Saint Catherine in Egypt, she discovered the SOLANCHA System. This is how the SOLANCHA journey started!

Personal Development

Understanding The Law of Mentalism & How It Can Improve Your Life

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The law of mentalism implies that everything is mental in nature. And that we are connected to the same consciousness that manifests all we see around us in thoughts. More so, every living thing has a level of intelligence that collectively explains the changes in the mental and physical world. So, how does the law of mentalism affect you? 

Let’s discuss below: –

Understanding the Law of Mentalism

The principle of mentalism is the first of the seven Hermetic principles. Hermeticism, a branch of ancient spiritual philosophy, describes mentalism as a foundational law of our reality. The other Hermetic principles are the principles of correspondence, vibration, polarity, rhythm, cause and effect, and gender.

According to the Kybalion, a book compiling all the hermetic principles, the principle of mentalism means “The All is Mind; the Universe is Mental.” Hence, the universe corresponds to mental projection, a culmination of thoughts by all living beings, past and present. God is consciousness, and the universe manifests the mind of God through our consciousness. 

The Mentalism Test: Mind vs. Ego

Below is a quick test that demonstrates how the law of mentalism works: –

Close your eyes and stay put wherever you are at the moment. All you are without your vision is a spec of consciousness. All you are in this place where you cannot see anything is that you are something that can be aware of.

If someone were to chop off your fingers or toes right now, God forbid, would you change your awareness once the pain subsides? No, right? And what if someone chops off your entire hands, legs, and everything on your body besides what you vitally need for your mind to continue functioning? Would you change anything? See, even with your eyes closed, you wouldn’t change a thing because we are all specs of divine consciousness, aspects of the same mind that created everything. The only thing that would change is the removal of those particular sensory inputs that your consciousness uses to experience the material world.

Now open your eyes. Suddenly, you realize thoughts define your story. You know, son of-, mother of-, daughter of-, I did this-, I did that-, I want this-, I like that-, I heard those people say this-, I am good at this-, I am weak at that-. This entire thought dialogue comes to mind when you realize that you perceive through the vision of the eyes in your head that is part of your body. And that when you look in the mirror, you see someone with a name; you. That’s ego or self.

Our ego gives us self-identity, creating a lens through which we see ourselves and those around us. Yet, essentially all we are parts or aspects of the original mind. That’s why the law of mentalism revolves around manifestation. 

The Law of Mentalism & Manifestation

Vision Board Template Manifesting Image

Manifestation implies that thought precedes any reality. And the law of mentalism is the only reason we can manifest. See, we can hold a view in our mind without ever sharing it with anyone, and at some point, this thought shows up in our lives.  

The law of mentalism is the only connection between your mind and what manifests in your life. Besides, this same mind manifests all we see around us.  

Creation, Spirituality & Law of Mentalism

We can also interpret the law of mentalism from a spiritual perspective. We came into being by a God with an everlasting, eternal spirit. Moreover, we were created to be separate but still connected to all. And we are blessed with the ability to think and create with or without instruction. Then, since creation can form independently, it is driven by an eternal power with a creative mind.

Using the Law of Mentalism to Improve Your Life

The law of mentalism effectively harnesses the power of thought and manifests whatever we put our attention on. And the first step to harnessing the power of our consciousness is by taming our ego. Here are some spiritual practices that can train the mind:

#1: Mindful Living and Meditation

Mindfulness relates to our ability to stay fully present in our prevailing circumstances. It involves resisting the ego’s chatter that tries to hijack our thoughts from the task at hand. Hence, mindful meditation helps us focus on a present sensation without being carried away by our internal dialogue. Examples of mindful meditation exercises include focusing on your breathing and living in the moment. Also, pay attention to your five senses and become your own best friend.

#2: Breathing Exercises

Our subconscious mind helps us breathe involuntarily for our survival. Through breathing, our bodies get just enough oxygen to function well. When we make breathing a conscious activity through regular exercises, more oxygen circulates the brain and the rest of the body for a calmer and clearer mind. Here is a 3-minute Kapalabathi breathing exercise you can try: –

  • Find your favorite spot where you can relax uninterrupted for the next 3 minutes.
  • Sit and relax your shoulders.
  • Breath in and out.
  • Gaze softly or keep your eyes closed.
  • Breath in halfway (a shallow inhale).
  • Breathe out strongly through your nose (until you feel your belly popping inwards).
  • Repeat the shallow inhale and the strong exhale ten more times.
  • Take 2-3 final deep inhales and exhales.

Avoid this breathing exercise if you feel dizzy, are expectant, have high blood pressure, or have heart or lung problems.

#3: Read Books on Spirituality

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Find books, podcasts, and video recordings that give you spiritual insight on ideas and techniques you can apply in your life. Likewise, follow the authors on their social media platforms, and attend their meetups or book clubs to gain more tips.

#4: Help Others

When was the last time you did something kind for someone else? We can often tame the ego by shifting focus from ourselves. It could be walking our pets, visiting a friend in the hospital, doing some charity work, or lending a listening ear for a friend to vent. 

The Bottom Line

It is mind-blowing how much our thoughts manifest all around us. This godly power of consciousness is the basis of the law of mentalism. Understanding this fundamental law of reality helps us grasp the systematically universal law and apply it to improve our wellbeing.

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Healing

Meet Your Shadow Archetype: The Dark Side of Your Personality

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Let’s face it. In every story, there is a hero and a villain. In your narration, you are both; the bright and dark aspects orchestrate the melody of your life. It is a melody that many of us opt to listen to on one side only. See, most people opt to focus on their bright aspects and suppress the dark side of their personality. Yet, this dark side often referred to as the shadow, will always be there. Besides, it can look small or big depending on your perspective on life. Are you willing to meet your shadow archetype?

Origin of the Shadow Archetype

Carl Jung, an influential psychologist of the previous century, is one of the few people that tried to bridge the notion of psychology and spirituality. That way, he hoped to discover ways to transcend the human condition. Hence, Jung traveled severally to India and immersed himself in different spiritual practices. His work would constantly evolve to produce a comprehensive analysis of such concepts as the ego, the shadow, the archetypes, and the anima and the animus

Understanding the Shadow Archetype

The shadow archetype is one of the four main categories of the Jungian archetypes that influence human behavior. As popularized by Mark and Pearson, these are inborn personalities emanating from the collective unconscious. The other categories of the Jungian archetypes include the persona, the self or ego, and the animus.

In particular, the shadow archetype consists of life and sex instincts constantly challenging the ego-personality. It takes intentional moral effort to become conscious of your shadow. It is about recognizing the dark side of your personality as present and real. Only then can we begin to understand ourselves and experience a personal awakening and authenticity

Carl Jung and Shadow Symbolism

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The shadow remained an intriguing topic amongst scholars. Carl Jung refers to it as a moral problem that challenges ego-personality. Further, he uses the symbolism of the shadow to portray this complex idea of the shadow archetype seamlessly and visually. Such visual imagery creates anchors with concepts already familiar to human cognition. 

Hence, Jung describes the shadow archetype as dark and elusive, impossible to catch, and alters its size depending on your current life circumstances. It forms darkness and distance from the body, something not many of us are eager to confront. Yet, the shadow becomes invisible when light appears. 

The Fear of Embracing Our Shadow Archetype

Now, most of us acknowledge the shadow archetype as an integral part of our existence. However, we remain willfully blind to it, conceal or camouflage it in a painful attempt to protect our self-image. It is an image that fits the narrative that we decide to expose. 

Further, social conditioning helps us construct a fallacy that we can keep the substrate of our constructed identity stable. We feel safe by ignoring the unknown aspects of our lives, hoping they will disappear. 

Still, how can we feel safe when what we are avoiding can invade our thought process and manifest in our actions without our control? Embracing the shadow archetype is inevitable. 

Implications of Denying Our Shadow Self

Note that we are as free as the mind allows. And when the mind creates barriers between individual reality and the rest of the world, illusions and neurosis may take over. Have you ever met someone operating in enforced ignorance? If so, you’ll notice such a person denying their shadow archetype in an attempt to preserve a certain status quo. But eventually, the enforced ignorance fuels the suppressed shadow to grow bigger. 

The dark side of their personality becomes more evident via projection in more aspects of their lives. Further, since the person is not even aware of the existence of the shadow, its effect can get out of control since we can only control what we understand. 

The Way Forward 

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#1: Shadow Work

The best way to meet our shadow archetype is by undertaking shadow work. Shadow work is a lifelong process that entails intentional activities to discover the dark side of our personalities. Through it, we deal with our shadow elements like animalistic needs, sexual desires, primitive instincts, traumatic experiences, and even some positive aspects of our character that remain hidden for fear of being ridiculed. 

A typical shadow work approach may involve journaling our emotions and dreams to discover triggers of our shadow archetype. It also replaces our sense of guilt and anxiety with self-acceptance.  

#2: Seeking Professional Help

While facing the dark side of your personality can be scary, the ultimate results are rewarding. Still, the shadow has a challenging nature. That’s why shadow work may follow a sequence of assimilation through long hours or psychotherapy and introspection, often guided by a certified professional. Here, the therapist helps clients reevaluate and recalibrate their behaviors and beliefs. 

Ultimately, clients stay disciplined in asking themselves challenging questions about their lives. Like, how often do you question the nature of your reality?

#3: Dealing with Social Conditioning against Shadow Archetypes

Now, whereas shadow work is at an individual level, society has a significant influence in making the practice a success. Ideally, the world should be a platform for dialogue and constant experimentation. The shadow archetype ceases to be a moral problem and becomes a welcome part of our existence. If you find such ideas regrettable, it may mean that there are some shadow aspects of your life yet to be dealt with effectively.  

Conclusion

Anyone who wants full control of their life must be willing to embrace their shadow archetype. It revolves around accepting all aspects of our lives; tolerating what we are afraid of alongside what we want. Here, we face, analyze, and internalize our fears and darkness. Otherwise, denying the existence of the dark side of your personality will make you see it in others even more. 

Likewise, our society is packed with people whose actions are constantly at war with your intentions. That’s why; we should strive to define the moral imperatives that could alleviate our suffering. And, we should view everything beyond that with skepticism. 

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Personal Development

The Law Of Vibration Explained: How To Manifest The Life You Want

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Ask anyone to mention the 12 Universal laws, and they will most likely mention the law of attraction. However, not everyone would mention the law of vibration if you ask for more. You being here today and searching for it is a great start. This article will help you understand the law of vibration and how to use it for your benefit. 

What is the Law of Vibration?

The law of vibration is one of the 12 universal laws. This law states that everything, every object, and living thing is in constant motion. And everything vibrates at a specific frequency. The speed at which the objects vibrate is called frequency.

Frequency or the energy of somebody or something is not an item you can touch and see. However, you can always feel the energy of the frequency. You can always sense and react to it, like how you sensed that someone’s energy was off before. This is what we are talking about.

The best part of the law of vibration is that you can do more than feel the strength of the vibration. You have the power to sense low vibrational frequency and adjust it or step away from it. In simpler terms, you have the power to live with things that you only vibe with. You can either adjust it to your benefit or drop it.

How To Use The Law Of Vibration To Your Advantage

Vision Board Template Manifesting Image

It is not enough to understand how the law of vibration works. Let’s go a step further and discuss how we can use it in our favor. Below are the best ways to put the law of vibration into good use.

Manifest The Life You Want

If you increase your emotional vibration, you will wake up every day feeling enthusiastic, compassionate, and ready to conquer the world. Say, for example, you constantly feel stuck and bored. You may be experiencing a low vibration. One way to boost your emotional vibration is by meditating. Meditation can help relieve anxiety and stress and can help calm a mind that is all over. The more you are able to still your mind the faster your vibration will become.

Find a calm and soothing place for your meditation. Let go of everything and focus on your breathing for a few minutes. Your mind may wander and go elsewhere; that is normal, especially if you are new to meditation. When this happens, gently pull your attention back to your breath. Eventually, you will begin to witness your own thoughts arising and falling away. Meditating can also help you get into the right mindset to work towards what you have always wanted. And with the right vibration, you can concentrate and focus your attention to achieve your goals.

Practice Mindfulness to Be More Aware of Your Feelings and Emotions

Mindfulness helps you be more aware of the life around you. It is an excellent way to live more fully and not let life pass you by. By increasing your vibration you can rise above certain feelings and emotions and witness them from a more detached perspective. This creates a high degree of awareness around all aspects of your life. When you are mindful and aware of your feeling and emotions you can more easily release emotions that are negatively impacting your behavior.

Start by building awareness of yourself, the people around you, and your environment. This helps you be more considerate and thoughtful. Being more considerate and thoughtful will make you more compassionate and kind to yourself and others.

Use Vibration to Navigate Situations in Life

When you are more aware of your emotions and feelings, you can easily recognize high vibrational and low vibrational things in life. You can consciously choose what and who you would like to interact with. You want to be surrounded by things that are constructive and bring joy into your life. Most importantly, you will be able to remove yourself from situations, relationships, and environments that exist in a lower vibrational state.

Sticking to high vibration aspects of life can help you navigate every situation you need.

So How Can You Raise Your Vibration?

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Your mood and emotions control your vibration. Keep in mind that your vibration affects the quality of your life. This is because it aligns and connects with things that vibrate simultaneously. So, you have to learn how to raise your vibration to connect with highly vibrating aspects of life. If you are operating at a vibration that is prone to negative and destructive behavior, this is what you will resonate with.

Here are the best tactics you can use to raise your vibration.

#1: Go Strong On Self-care

Practicing self-care does so much for your emotions and moods.

It makes you:

  • Feel much better about yourself;
  • Take a step back and review your progress with gratitude;
  • More aware of your emotions and mental state;
  • Relief from stress and anxiety.

With these, you come out with high vibrational energy, ready to connect with other high vibrational aspects of life. Remember that self-care looks different for everyone. It could be a spa day for you, yoga, going on a vacation, journaling, exercising, or even going out with friends. You need to find what makes you feel good and go for it!

#2: Nourish Your Body

Eating unhealthy food lowers your energy and your vibrational frequency. Bad eating habits leave you feeling heavy, tired, and bogged down. However, eating healthy leaves you stronger, lighter, and healthier. Check out our list of high-vibration foods.

Another way to nourish your body is to exercise frequently. It can be as simple as going out for a jog every day or practicing yoga. It leaves you fit and energetic to go after your goals.

#3: Surround Yourself With High Vibrational Things

Yes, it would help to cut off everything destructive. Surrounding yourself with people, things, and places that increase your vibration is the way to go. The external world has the power to influence your vibration. Surrounding yourself with toxic people or energy vampires will get you stuck in a negative cycle. It may be tough to completely cut some people off, but you can start by just limiting your exposure to them and setting healthy boundaries.

Also, remember that mass media and social media may lower your vibration. Filter the information you’re allowing into your energy field. Maybe it even makes sense to do a social media detox and spend some time away from any devices.

In Conclusion

The law of vibration makes it known that nothing is constant in the universe. Everything is in motion, and things with the same vibrational frequency connect. The takeaway from this is you should increase your vibration to connect with high-value aspects of life. With increased vibration, you can manifest all you want and work your way to achieve it.

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Personal Development1 month ago

The Law Of Vibration Explained: How To Manifest The Life You Want

Ask anyone to mention the 12 Universal laws, and they will most likely mention the law of attraction. However, not...

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