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5 Simple Steps To Boost Your Self-Love

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All of us have heard about the importance of loving ourselves. We are well aware that self-love is the key to success, harmony, and abundant living. Until we learn how to love ourselves we can’t spiritually develop.

Theoretically, it would seem that everything is so clear and simple. But when it comes to practice, we all face difficulties.

So what is self-love?

The first thing we learn from any master class or book on positive thinking is that we have to love, respect and accept ourselves. Without this, we can’t develop. But when it comes to practice, the big question arises: “What does it mean to love yourself

Self-love is the foundation on which our whole life is built. If this foundation is not strong enough or does not exist at all, then our whole life is very shaky and unreliable. It can collapse at any time. In order to avoid this, we need to learn to love ourselves.

Unfortunately, many people are convinced that loving yourself means being selfish or narcissistic. However, it is not like that at all. Self-love and selfishness or narcissism are completely opposite concepts. To love yourself means to accept yourself and to realize your divine nature. To be selfish or a narcissist means to put your ego on display.

Moreover, if we can’t love ourselves, we can’t love anyone. If we can’t love the closest and dearest person in the world – ourselves – how can we love someone else? It can be passion, affection, but not love. Love always comes from the inside, and only when it overflows us, it pours out to the outside.

5 Steps Towards Self-Love

Step 1: Acceptance

smiling young woman image

Accept yourself as you are! Whatever mistakes you made in your life, accept them and don’t judge yourself. Everything happened the way it was supposed to happen. And you did what you had to do. Respect the choices that you have made in the past and that you are making now.

Accept what you don’t like about yourself. Realize that what you call “imperfections” are actually your unique qualities that fall out of the scope of the “standard.” We have been taught since our childhood to be like everyone else. And everything that distinguished us from others was condemned. But it shouldn’t be that way! We must learn to be ourselves without any limitations. We need to learn to perceive our “imperfections” as unique manifestations of ourselves.

Step 2: Self-Sufficiency

Realize that no one or nothing can make you whole. You’re already self-sufficient! You need to learn to love yourself regardless of whether someone else loves you or not. Your happiness cannot be dependent on your relationships.

Besides that, many people believe that certain achievements in life will help them love themselves more. But this is far from reality! Neither a career, nor an expensive car, nor a luxurious mansion on the beach, nor designer clothes, will make you love yourself. All this luxury can only enhance your ego, but self-love will never depend on such things. And it is very important to understand this!

You don’t need a reason to love yourself. True love is always born for no reason. We start to love ourselves just like that, here and now, just the way we are.

Step 3-Destruction Of The Pedestals

young redhead curly lady looking at mirror image

Stop putting people on the pedestal. Stop thinking that someone might be better than you are or worse. Learn not to compare yourself to other people. If you accept and love your uniqueness (which, as I have already said, consists of those qualities that society calls “imperfections”), then you realize that any comparison is inappropriate! You are who you are. No one is better or worse than you. Destroy all the pedestals that you have created. And understand that all people are equal. Don’t idealize anyone. We’re all just humans – nobody is perfect! Besides that the ideal is always dead, there is no movement, there is no need for development. So throw away all those thoughts about reaching this illusional ideal level of yourself. Stop this race to perfection! It doesn’t make any sense!

Step 4-Self-Respect

Self-love can’t exist without self-respect. Learn to respect yourself, your time and space!

Free your space from negative people, as well as from those people with who you are uncomfortable with or who are not interesting for you to communicate with. Free yourself from those people who steal your energy. Stop talking to people who only talk about themselves, but are never interested in you. Change your environment! As soon as you free yourself from people you don’t resonate with, you will attract a new environment into your life. From now on surround yourself only with people you enjoy interacting with.

Sometimes we can’t explain to ourselves why we don’t resonate with someone. I would advise not even try to find out the reasons why, but just keep a person you don’t resonate with at a distance. You should trust your intuition. If you don’t want to interact with someone without any particular reason, it means that you subconsciously (intuitively) feel that this person can bring nothing but problems into your life!

Step 5 – Alignment

Beautiful young woman blowing dandelion flower Image

Live in alignment with yourself. Don’t do things you don’t want to. I am not talking about everyday duties that cannot be avoided. I am talking about things that don’t resonate with our beliefs and contradict our worldview. For example, when we go to dinner though we don’t want to. And we doing it only because we don’t want to offend someone who invited us. Or, when the seller starts to impose on us some product that we do not need at all, but we buy it because we don’t want to upset the seller. These kinds of acts destroy our self-respect and our authority in our own eyes!

Remember that every time you step over yourself in order to not offend someone, you show a deep disrespect for yourself and the absence of self-love.

The Bottom Line

It is impossible to teach self-love in one minute. This process can take months or even years. Just understand that self-love is your path, your daily practice, but not the final destination. Self-love is made up of simple things you do every day. Only by learning to love yourself can you learn to truly love others. Not only family or friends, but also every living creature that you meet on your way!

Namaste!

Katya Ki is the Founder of SOLANCHA Magazine, a Metaphysical Expert, a Reiki Master, and Human Rights Attorney. She has been studying Eastern metaphysics, cosmology, and esotericism for almost 20 years now. And she's still discovering new knowledge, which is hidden in ancient teachings. During her pilgrimage to the monastery of Saint Catherine in Egypt, she discovered the SOLANCHA System. This is how the SOLANCHA journey started!

Self Love

8 Amazing Healing Crystals For Self-Love

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Self-love is an essential component for our self-healing journey and any spiritual practice. Without self-love, we cannot truly love somebody else and experience the highest form of love – unconditional love. Self-love is the practice of understanding, embracing, and showing compassion for yourself. It involves taking care of ourselves on the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual levels. Self-forgiveness, self-respect, and self-acceptance are essential components of self-love practice. One of the powerful tools that can help you to create the frequency of love within is crystals for self-love.

In this article, we will share with you 8 beautiful crystals for self-love that will assist your self-love journey and give you support and confidence in your self-healing practice.

The Science Behind Crystals

It has been scientifically proven that matter is 99.999999999999% empty space. And what makes up this empty space is energy. Therefore, it won’t be a mistake to say that energy is everything, and everything is energy. You, everything around you – the furniture, the phone you’re holding, and the crystals are vibrating energy.

Each of us has our own unique vibrational frequency. People with higher vibrations radiate love and kindness, peace and compassion, whereas people with lower vibrations experience more low-vibrational emotions like fear, anger, jealousy, or anxiety.

Whatever frequency we are at, as humans, our vibrations are very unstable and can be easily affected by our environment, other people, social media, the news, traffic, the weather, our own memories, etc.

Crystals, on the other hand, have a very stable energy frequency due to the fact that they were made up of a fixed, regularly repeating, perfect geometric pattern of molecules. Therefore, they are able to maintain the perfect stability of the Earth element. This is the opposite quality to our constantly changing, non-stable human nature.

While the healing properties of crystals have not yet been proven, we do know that crystals radiate a unique electrical charge known as piezoelectricity. Piezoelectricity is an electrical charge that is emitted from crystals once they are pressed or cut.

Scientific research has been able to demonstrate that synthetic crystals can actually store data. This could explain why certain crystals have specific qualities.

Thus, the properties of certain crystals work in harmony with our subtle energies, helping to clear any blockages and balance emotions. Crystals for self-love can help to remove whatever blocks we have on our path of self-love and to increase the love frequency in our aura.

8 Must-Have Crystals For Self-Love

Now, let us share with you the 8 self-love crystals that can help you in your self-love journey and inner work. You can program these crystals with your intentions, meditate with them, hold them between your palms while you’re repeating your self-love affirmations, chanting love mantras, or performing your prayers. If you are not involved in deep spiritual work yet, you can let these crystals serve you as mindfulness totems. Whatever way you choose to use your crystals, they will surely enrich your self-love journey and create a beautiful love aura around you.

Here is our list of the must-have self-love crystals:

#1: Rose quartz

rose quartz gemstone

Rose quartz is the Heart chakra stone that manifests unconditional love – not just towards others but yourself too. It helps us to practice self-compassion and love ourselves regardless of any perceived flaws or imperfections. This is a crystal of comfort, deep healing, and compassion.

Rose quartz work by encouraging our heart chakras to open. When our heart chakra is open, we can peel back our inner petals and bloom into love, trust, and compassion.

Use Rose Quartz anytime you feel a negative pull towards self-sabotage or when you are feeling like your self-esteem is low.

#2: Green Aventurine

Aventurine image

Green Aventurine helps to balance energies and see things in an objective way. This beautiful heart chakra stone reduces self-criticism and opens us up to giving and receiving love. If you’re struggling with forgiveness or self-forgiveness, green aventurine will help you let go of guilt and forgive yourself and others. In addition, green aventurine aids in emotional stability and helps to soothe the mind and heal the heart.

Green aventurine honors Kuan-Yin, the Chinese goddess of mercy, compassion, and unconditional love. To many, Kuan-Yin is regarded as a protector of women, children, and unsung heroes.

#3: Carnelian

Carnelian image

Carnelian is a powerful stone that increases your courage, stamina, and the boldness you need to shine. This is the perfect self-love stone for those who feel like a distinguished flame and needs a tool to brighten themselves up.

In addition, carnelian helps to raise feelings of self-worth and allows us to see our true value. This is the perfect stone to increase your confidence and make you feel capable of taking on new challenges and opportunities!

Carnelian is connected to your sacral chakra, a place where a lot of women hold onto past pain and trauma. Therefore, this stone is also effective for healing your past trauma and working through the blocks that prevent you from loving yourself.

#4: Moonstone

polished moonstone image

Moonstone is a beautiful stone that holds the power of the feminine energy of the moon. Working with this crystal helps you increase self-compassion which leads to self-acceptance, self-forgiveness, and self-love. Call on the natural power of the Moonstone when you need to feel those mothering arms around you.

#5: Rhodochrosite

Rhodochrosite crystal for love image

Rhodochrosite is known as the Stone of the Compassionate Heart. This beautiful stone increases the vibrates of love, forgiveness, and compassion towards the inner child, helping to heal old wounds, feelings, and traumas to develop self-love.

If you feel out of touch with your inner child, rhodochrosite can help you to reconnect and reparent him/her in the gentlest of ways. Rhodochrosite helps you to deal with unresolved issues and to find forgiveness.

#6: Amazonite

amazonite image

Amazonite is a beautiful stone that helps with setting the boundaries that are an essential part of self-love. It helps to cultivate self-awareness and compassionate thinking. Also, amazonite helps to boost self-esteem, develop forgiveness, calm the nervous system, clear away stress, and reduce anxiety.

For those times when you feel like you can’t stand up for yourself, amazonite can help you find confidence and support. This stone connects with both the heart chakra and the throat chakra, sending a beautiful flow between your heart space and the center of your communication.

#7: Amethyst

amethyst image

Amethyst is a great crystal for spiritual self-love. This beautiful purple crystal helps us to connect to our higher selves and develop self-awareness. Amethyst is often used in shadow work as it helps to work through shame, fears, and blocks. In addition, it helps to stop negative self-talk, increase self-worth, and reduce anxiety.

Amethyst is also used as a chakra healing stone. In particular, it is connected to our crown chakra. It helps to clear our Sahasrara and fill us right up with the light of enlightenment. When we feel spiritually connected to the world we live in, it becomes easier for us to let go of old fears and anxieties and to understand the bigger picture and purpose. Therefore, whenever you feel lost in this world, remember to invite the healing vibes of amethyst into your self-healing practice to center yourself back to your spiritual self.

#8: Citrine

Citrine image

Citrine is a crystal of joy and happiness that is connected to your solar plexus chakra. Remember that your solar plexus is your power center. When you invite citrine in your self-love practice, it helps you to turn into a spiritual warrior, gives you the courage to love and accept yourself, and shakes off all the negative energy.

Whenever you feel like life isn’t going the way you want it to go, calling in the healing power of citrine will help you find the positive outcome from any situation and be more optimistic about the future.

The Bottom Line

There are many beautiful and powerful crystals and stones that you can use for increasing your self-love. These eight are the must-have crystals that we believe can help to take the self-love journey to the next level. Use these stones for your self-love practices, meditations, rituals, or as amulets that you wear. Don’t forget to regularly cleanse and charge your crystals to keep their energy strong.

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Love

Feng Shui Love Corner: Where Is It & How to Activate It?

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Feng Shui Love Corner Image

Feng shui is not just about attracting wealth or attaining success. It can also help to attract love and romance into your life. By activating your feng shui love corner, you will create certain energy vibrations within your home that are conducive to attracting love and romantic relationship for those of you who are still single, for helping childless couples to have children, and for bringing a new lease of life to those of you whose marriage has suffered from bad feng shui.

In this article, I will share with you how to find your feng shui love corner, how to fix bad feng shui, and to activate positive chi.

What is a “Feng Shui Love Corner”?

Feng shui love corner is the Southwest sector of your house. To determine it, you need to use the Bagua map of your house. If you are new to Bagua, make sure to read my articles:

Feng Shui Bagua: 8 Aspirations

The Feng Shui Bagua Map: How to Use It?

Your Southwest sector represents romance, love, and marriage. If this sector has good feng shui, your romantic life will be positively energized. If your “love corner” has clutter, dust, or dangerous objects (like wooden or metal objects, for example), your romantic life will suffer from bad feng shui.

Here are some important feng shui indicators for your love corner:

#1: Your Southwest corner should not be missing

If a house doesn’t have a Southwest corner, it makes the energy of a woman who lives there weaker. Such a woman usually doesn’t spend too much time at home, she can be a workaholic or party a lot. Also, a missing Southwest sector becomes the cause of feminine health problems. However, usually, bad feng shui of a house with a missing Southwest sector affects mostly mothers, women over 40, or/and people with Kua number 2.

What if I don’t have the Southwest sector in my house?

If you don’t have a Southwest sector in your house, you can activate it in the living room. Simply find the Southwest corner of your living room and make sure it’s clean, bright, and light.

#2: Southwest sector should look beautiful and airy

It is very important that your Southwest sector be made to look really beautiful and airy, where the chi flows easily. Therefore, make sure you don’t store suitcases here, and that this sector is clean and free of dust and trash.

To attract love, we should make the southwest sector light and bright. Make sure it has enough natural light. If it doesn’t, use extra electric lights there to keep it light. This light attracts romantic luck into your life!

#3: Remove or minimize dangerous objects

Wooden and metal objects located in the Southwest sector are considered to be dangerous for this area. It’s better to remove them or at least minimize them. Also, colors like blue, black, white, green, silver, and gold are unfavorable in this area. Try not to use these colors for decorating your home and don’t paint your walls in these colors.

How to Activate Feng a Shui Love Corner?

When activating the feng shui love corner, we are turning the Southwest sector into a magical island of love that radiates powerful vibrations of love and attracts romance.

Here is a list of tips and talismans that project a powerful message to the Universe that you are ready for love and happiness and open for a romantic relationship. Place the talismans that you like most in the Southwest sector, and expect wonderful miracles to happen!

Tip #1: Use favorable colors

Pink, red, yellow, brown, and beige are favorable colors for your Southwest sector. Fiery colors (such as red and pink) bring romance and passion, whereas earthy colors (such as brown and beige) bring stability and security to the relationship.

Tip #2: Use favorable shapes

Square and triangle with the top up are favorable shapes for the Southwest corner. When decorating this area, focus on these shapes.

Tip #3: Use the Kun trigram

Kun trigram image

A trigram is a code for energy that can be applied in many different ways in Chinese metaphysics. The Kun trigram is made up of three broken yin bars. It symbolizes Mother Earth. This is a powerful trigram that represents love, romance, relationship, and marriage. Keeping a replica of the Kun trigram in your Southwest sector will enhance harmony in your romantic life and within your family.

Tip #4: Use Earth element

The element of the Southwest is earth. Therefore, it’s favorable to place earth element objects in the Southwest sector to strengthen the influence of this element. Placing crystals here will have the most positive effect.

It is best to place the crystal in such a way that sunlight falls on it. On a nice sunny day, you can play with the crystal, turning it and allowing shining rays to illuminate the walls, ceiling, and all objects in the room. This simple action brings positive Chi energy to your house.

Another way to place the crystal in the southwest sector is to hang it. However, be careful there are certain rules on how to hang the crystal for feng shui purposes:

1. hang your crystal on a red thread;

2. the length of this thread must be a multiple of 9. That is 9, 18, or 27 cm (3.54, 7.09, or 10.63 inches). This is because the number 9 is a sacred number in Feng Shui that combines the power of heaven and earth;

3. when hanging the crystal, it is important to charge it. Simply turn to your crystal and ask it to protect your house from negativity and bring love, peace, and harmony into your life.

Tip #5: Use pair talismans

Mandarin Ducks Image

The number of the Southwest sector is 2. Therefore, in order to activate it, we need to use pair talismans or objects. Traditional Feng Shui suggests placing mandarin ducks or a pair of cranes in the southwest sector. The mandarin ducks symbolize a long and happy marriage. The cranes carry the very strong energy of the happy couple that cannot be separated. They symbolize immortal love and loyalty.

Another great love activator is a couple of candles. Place a couple of red or pink candles in the southwest sector and light them approximately once a week with the intention to attract love into your life. While the candles are burning, you can meditate, looking at the flame. Imagine how this flame ignites the fire of love in your heart.

Tip #6: Use the power of the “Dragon and Phoenix”

In the feng shui symbolism, Dragon and Phoenix are the two most powerful exponents of favorable Qi energy. These are heavenly creatures that symbolize the pinnacle of luck.

The Dragon symbolizes success, courage, leadership, and higher fortune. Phoenix symbolizes new opportunities, luck, change, and rebirth.

Dragon and Phoenix placed together represent a strong Union of Yin and Yang, embodied in the life of family happiness. This is an effective means of improving romantic luck, both for already married people and for those who are in search of love.

Place the Dragon and Phoenix in the southwest sector of your house or in your bedroom.

Tip #7: Use windchimes

Windchime is a great energizer of positive Chi. As soon as you hang the windchime in the Southwest sector of your house, rest assured – the love energy has been activated for you.

Tip #8: Use rose quartz double heart

Rose Quartz Double Heart Image

Place a rose quartz double heart talisman in the southwest sector of your house and you will activate the energy of love, tenderness, and romance in your life.

The Bottom Line

By activating your feng shui love corner you will jazz up your love life, enhance your friendships, and energize the conjugal happiness of your marriage.

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Relationships

Enmeshed Relationship: 10 Signs You Could Be In One

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Do you feel guilty or excessively responsible for your parents? And, does this over-concern meddle with your ability to tap into opportunities either professionally or romantically now that you are an adult? Well, an adolescent or young adult who is uneasy about leaving home, or feels less supported upon return is probably growing in an enmeshed family. The same applies to spouses, friends, or colleagues in an enmeshed relationship. If you find yourself in such a relationship, the first step to freeing yourself from this reliance is by understanding how it started and pinpointing its tell-tale signs.

What Is Enmeshment?

Enmeshment is a term used in family therapy circles to define relationships with unclear or intertwined boundaries. It is a disruptive interplay whereby a family member sees the blurriness as a sign of remaining loyal, loving or feeling safe. Simply put, you are a highly empathic person with low boundaries.

The Causes

Now, two people may become enmeshed following events that force one of them to be over-protective of the other. For example, parents with children recovering from a sudden illness, an accident, or a traumatic experience. They see it necessary to take charge of every aspect of the child’s life.

This intervention is welcome at that time because it promotes healing. However, the parents often get stuck and continue interacting with the children that way into their adult life. Consequently, the young adult becomes trapped, guilty to express any views that will contradict the parent.

The Implications

An enmeshed relationship may disrupt your spiritual, emotional, and mental growth. This may lead to complications like eating disorders, lack of autonomy and individuality, or becoming an easy target for narcissistic partners

10 Signs You Could Be in an Enmeshed Relationship

what is enmeshed relationship image

You can tell you are in an enmeshed relationship if you or your loved one depicts any of the following signs: –

#1: Your Lack Your Own Identity

A person in an enmeshment relationship has their identity and worth dependent on fixing others. You hear phrases such as: –

  • You need to see things my way for us to be okay
  • I need to fix you for me to be okay
  • The other person has to be okay for me to be okay
  • I need to rescue you from your emotions
  • Someone else needs to rescue me from my emotions
  • I cannot tell the difference between my emotions and those of others

#2: Feeling guilty when pursuing your interests

Do you love cooking but are now working as a banker or an office employee, to please your parents, friends, or spouse? If you made this decision to avoid shame or the guilt feelings you have, you are in an enmeshed relationship with your loved ones.

#3: Feeling anxious when separated

If the thought of being away from your loved one gives you jitters, you could be over-dependent on them. Here, you are used to the other person to the extent that you doubt your ability to make the right choices when independent.

#4: Pegging your happiness on your partner

If you know what makes you happy, but consciously decide to set it aside for the sake of your spouse or parent, you could be in an enmeshed relationship. For example, a son may forgo a well-paying job in another state to stay close to the parents. Or, a wife may postpone starting a family to free the husband to travel the world and build his career.

#5: Set your priorities to march your partner

Often, partners have conflicting priorities. However, they come to a compromise to maintain a healthy relationship. In contrast, one person in an enmeshed relationship pushes back their priorities, to give room for the other. And, they may even own these new priorities subconsciously.

#6: Compromising your commitments for the sake of your partner

In a marriage where there are no clear emotional or physical limits, a wife may find herself “echoing” what the husband says or feels; with total disregard to her cares. This wife does this subconsciously to please the partner, or try to cope in the union.

#7: Your relationship isolates you from other family members and friends

Persons in an enmeshed connection feel ultimately and exclusively loyal to each other, to the extent of isolating themselves from outsiders. For example, an adult from an enmeshed family may view a fiancé as a threat to their bond with their parents or siblings.

#8: One person oversteps, ridicules, or shuts down the other’s boundaries

The bossy partner in an enmeshed relationship sees no limit to how far they can interfere in their partner’s life. Hence, they ignore any suggestions that they could be overstepping their limits.

#9: You highly value the close-knit relationship

Enmeshed relationships demand unreasonable loyalty. In turn, the parties feel obliged to be extremely close and dependent on each other. For example, a child growing up with a single mum or dad may assume the role of a surrogate spouse to the surviving parent.

#10: You feel trapped, helpless, and out of control

Enmeshed relationships make you feel responsible for the other. Yet, they leave you unable to help yourself. You base your emotions on your spouse, child, or friend.  In the process, you become trapped and helpless.

Tips for Setting Boundaries When in an Enmeshed Relationship

spiritual connection in relationship image

Do you suspect that you are in an enmeshed relationship? If so, here are some tips to help you form healthy boundaries: –

  • Understand that, it is not your duty to sacrifice your life for the sake of your parent or family. Instead, strive to exercise a degree of caring that allows you to be free to live as a separate person.
  • Create your private time and space.
  • Learn the art of saying “No”.
  • Practice self-care to overcome low self-esteem.
  • See a counselor who understands enmeshment.

Conclusion

We all can live our lives with passion and purpose. Yet, when we make life decisions out of obligatory guilt, we miss out on a chance to self-fulfillment. You can also tell if enmeshment applies to you by the way you feel guilty, anxious, overshadowed, or over-dependent on the relationship. Strive to set clear boundaries by prioritizing your privacy, self-care routines, and seeking professional help.

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Feng Shui Astrology For September 2021: The Month of the Fire Rooster

Feng Shui astrology is based on the Chinese calendar. The dates of the beginning and the end of the months are...

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