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Soul Friend: 8 Signs You Found One

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Who is on your friends’ list? Can you refer to any of them as your soul friend? See, today’s global village way of life makes us refer to strangers as our friends for the sake of associating with them on social media. You know, some even call each other frenemies.  Yet, true friends, let alone soul friends share an interpersonal bond that grows over time. They are honest, loyal, available, and understanding. More so, they are the people who will check on you, ensuring you are not lonely or living in isolation.

So, who is your soul friend?

The Definition

A soul friend can be a friend, lover, sibling, spouse, or anyone else that you share with feelings of deep affinity. Think of it as having one soul in two separate bodies. Hence, the friendship cuts across all aspects of your lives and is never based on monetary or sexual gain. Indeed, it is a platonic tie, way beyond a sexual relationship or loyal friendship.

Importance of Soul Friendships

Soul mate friend image

When you discover your soul mate friend, you keep each other lively and vital regardless of your circumstances. This friend becomes your spiritual sidekick, nourishing your soul with love and encouragement always. A true soul friend is with you through your darkest nights and brightest days.

Recognizing your soul friend early will benefit you in many ways:

  • You get an affirmation of how strong and resilient you are, boosting your self-confidence
  • Now, you can let go of any limiting beliefs you have due to childhood traumas to live a more fulfilling adult life
  • A soul friend helps you discover your purpose in life and supports your life journey unconditionally
  • Soul friends make a conscious effort to pursue soul growth, attaining a state of peace for a better life

Signs You Found Your Soul Friend

Then, how do you know that you have met your soul friend? Here are 8 distinct ways to do so.

#1: You Count On Each Other

Sistars Image

Soul friends count on each other for protection, moral support, and getting an energy boost whenever they feel low. More so, a soul friend will: –

  • Be brutally honest with you
  • Stick around even after a heated argument
  • Offer immediate help to help you prepare for your career breakthrough meeting
  • Take you in and offer you a shoulder to cry on when your home or family is falling apart
  • Be your wingman or woman as you explore new territories
  • Know what to do when you are having a bad day
  • Be your partner in crime when you need to get your hands dirty on some backlog
  • Never judge your bad decisions, but lets you know if you made a mistake

#2: Forgiveness Comes Naturally

How many times do you have to forgive your friend? Or, are you the type who says, “I thought you were my friend”? Soul friends share lots of memories; ups and downs that they learn to tolerate each other’s flaws. Likewise, a soul friend will not take advantage of the other’s kindness to hurt them. Instead, they overlook offenses for the sake of their friendship.

#3: Mutual Trust

karmic relationship healing image

Your soul friend is the type of person you can trust with your life, literally. Hence, soul friends will:

  • Set and respect their boundaries
  • Keep their word
  • Maintain integrity in all their interactions
  • Adopt a straightforward and consistent behavior towards each other
  • Keep confidential things between themselves

Mutual trust allows soul friends to share intimate details about their past knowing the other person is a reliable confidant.

#4: Soul Friends Practice Effective Communication

When soul friends converse, they are in tune with one another. Hence, one of them may not agree with what the other is saying but will listen actively all the same. In contrast, most frenemies tolerate the friendship for as long as it suits them. Hence, they are guilty of selective listening. Hence, most soul friendships are free of drama, frustrating compromise, or misunderstandings.

#5: No Topic is Too Taboo

Friendship connection image

Soul friends talk about anything and everything. It is a two-way sharing of ideas, ensuring both friends benefit. Hence, think of a person you term as your soul friend. Then, think of an issue that is too uncomfortable for you. It can be your childhood scars, stereotypes that you do not agree with, or opinions on politics, same-sex marriages, or spirituality. Can you raise and discuss it with this friend? A soul friend will respect your opinions and not judge you afterward.

#6: Find the Best in You

We all have aspects about our bodies, careers, or lifestyle that we feel inadequate about. It could range from those who feel not beautiful, handsome, intelligent, or rich enough to those who fear losing control when under pressure. Yet, soul friends have a flipped perspective on this. They choose to see and remind each other of their best traits. For example, when recovering from substance abuse, a soul friend will remind you how you battled and won depression, ensuring you put up a spirited fight. This conscious relationship helps soul friends to care for one another when the other is feeling low.

#7: All Criticism is Constructive

Soul friends weigh their words when they want to criticize each other. That is, they consider the other person’s emotional wellbeing, and are out to find solutions, not just identify a problem. In contrast, negative criticism leaves one of the friends feeling superior to the other.

#8: Life is Unimaginable without Your Soul Friend

Finally, before we discover our soul friends, life seems quite normal. Then, the soul friend comes along; all of a sudden you cannot imagine a life without them. Most soul friends have never thought of a time when they will have to part ways. Indeed, soul friendship makes the soul buddies feel incredibly full.

Conclusion

Despite the devalued way that today’s generations refer to friendships, soul friends do exist. When you find one, cherish him or her. Use the above signs to pinpoint them from your group of purported friends. That way, you have a life companion.

Relationships

Karmic Relationships: 8 Undeniable Signs That You Are In One

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8 signs of karmic relationship image

Are you in a passionate relationship that seems to be hitting turbulence every other day? All relationships indeed have ups and downs. But the situation is different with karmic relationships. A karmic relationship’s lows are low, and the highs and very high. It feels like strong waves carrying you.

Karmic relationships are meant to teach you a specific karmic lesson. People in karmic relationships often think they have found their soul mates. But the turn of events in their relationships later proves them wrong.

How do you know when you are in a karmic relationship? Read on to find out more.

What Is a Karmic Relationship?

A karmic relationship is highly passionate yet complicated to maintain. It feels like a raging fire consuming you. It gives you all the adrenaline you need but sometimes burns you too. Knowing you are in a karmic relationship won’t take long. The turbulence and the passion all hit from an early stage.

Here are signs that you are in a karmic relationship.

#1: Instant connection

Was it love at first sight? That is one of the signs that you could be in a karmic relationship. Sometimes if the chemistry is from the word go, it could be due to the connection you had in your past life. If you find that you have everything in common with a person you just met, be on the watch out. It could be the start of a high tidal karmic relationship.

#2: Consistent break-up/make-up cycle

toxic relationship drama image

A karmic relationship is filled with a lot of drama. One of the dramas that stand out is the break-up/make-up cycle. When broken, you feel like you cannot take it anymore. You literally cannot live without them; the attraction is magnetic. However, as soon as you make up with them, you are faced with lots of lows, and you break up again.

Healthy relationships may have drama too, but at a lower level. If you are locked up in the daily drama, it is a sure sign you are in a karmic relationship. Another significant issue is the tendency to create big mountains out of small anthills

#3: There is an overflow of emotions

There will always be a roller coaster of emotions in a karmic relationship. One minute you feel consumed in love, passion, and lust. The next minute, you literally cannot stand the person. You know you are caught up in a karmic relationship, if you’re constantly juggling between too much love and too much detest.

 Also, you may feel addicted to each other.

#4: Repetitive behavior

You might be in a karmic relationship if you constantly have fights about the same things. You fight about an issue, solve it today, and think it is done. However, the same issue arises tomorrow, and it causes another full-blown fight.

The highs of a karmic relationship happen due to you and your partner’s high compatibility. However, the incompatibility results in constant and repetitive fights. If you have to keep solving the same issue every other day, you may want to look at the state of your relationship.

#5: You feel drained

Emotional Exhaustion Image

Karmic relationships can exhaust you. A lot of times, the draining is mental and emotional. However, you may also feel physically exhausted. The repetitiveness, fear, and everyday drama are exhausting. It is normal to feel stressed in such relationships. 

Sometimes, you will feel like you cannot take it anymore. However, you find yourself hanging in there for fear of ending the relationship.

#6: Fearfulness

Sometimes, a karmic relationship may feel like walking on eggshells. The relationship is very volatile and unpredictable. You do not know how the situation will be the next minute. Also, you live in constant fear of the highs suddenly turning into lows or the relationship ending.

If you always feel like you are treading on dangerous grounds, you may want to assess your relationship deeply.

#7: One-sided

Karmic relationships are typically one-sided. If one person crosses oceans for their partner, while the other cannot even jump a puddle for the sake of a relationship, chances are high that it is a karmic relationship.

A one-sided relationship is not difficult to point out. It is always clear that one partner loves the other way too much. If you feel like you cannot survive without your partner, but they can easily survive anything without you, it is one-sided.

The codependency in the relationship makes it difficult for you to break it even when you know it is toxic.

#8: There is nothing much going on outside your relationship

Is it just the two of you by yourselves? No other friends, passions, or hobbies? If it feels like you are pursuing your partner 24/7, you are in a karmic relationship.

This is one reason karmic relationships are difficult to break; you have nothing to return to at the end of the relationship. You have no friends or passions you pursue. The loneliness after breaking up with your partner will send you back into the relationship.

What Do You Do When You are in a Karmic Relationship?

Trauma Bonding Image

When you find yourself in a karmic relationship, remember that it is meant to teach you a karmic lesson about yourself, unconditional love, patience, forgiveness, and relationships in general.

Until we learn the karmic lessons that relationships provide for us, we won’t be able to break the cycle. Even if you break up with your partner, the karmic lessons you haven’t learned from this relationship will manifest in the next one. You will be repeating the cycle until you learn the lesson.

Breaking up with a karmic partner will only cause you pain if you haven’t learned the lesson. However, when the lesson is learned, it won’t be difficult for you to finish the relationship peacefully and harmoniously without causing pain to yourself or your partner. Therefore, don’t rush to end your karmic relationships. Dive deeper into the lesson instead. Learn what needs to be learned, whether it’s acceptance without judgment, compassion, unconditional love, or self-love. It’s only after you have learned the necessary lesson that you’ll be able to finish the karmic cycle.

To help you with this process, you can perform the karmic relationship healing practice to let go of unnecessary negative cords. This practice will help you to remove the unhealthy attachments and make it easier to end the karmic cycle.

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Relationships

Sexual Polarity: Bringing Passion Back Into Relationship

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the law of sexual polarity image

Is there a single rule that describes how the universe operates? We live in a complicated environment, and the human mind is much more so. But if there is one theory that comes near to explaining everything, it is the law of polarity. Understanding the rule of polarity is critical to living a happy and meaningful life. The energy you send into the world is essential for your relationships and all your life objectives. In this article, we will explore what sexual polarity is and how you can use the law of polarity to bring passion back into your relationship.

What is the Law of Polarity?

The law of polarity states that everything has two “poles”: good and evil, love and hatred, attraction and separation, electric and magnetic, SO and CHA. Consider the North and South Poles on a globe or a battery’s negative and positive terminals. There is an antonym for everything in the cosmos.

Everything has two sides. And it enables us to enjoy life and appreciate the lovely things in the world.

“There is an equal and opposite response to every action.” This is Newton’s Third Rule of Motion, and it properly summarizes the law of polarity. It signifies that forces are symmetrical: negative and positive, action and response, masculine and feminine.

Not only can you cultivate specific energies within, but you can also utilize the law of polarity to attract other energies, much like a magnet. Understanding how these two energies manifest in the world and how you can personally harmonize within yourself is the basis of the practices and principles of SO LAN CHA.

Think of it this way: 

Is it dark without light? Could you have pleasure without experiencing sadness? Is there love without suffering? Is there a sexual desire in partnerships without opposing energies? There is a law of rhythm that exists between these two poles that are forever trying to reach a state of equilibrium, LAN.

We’ve all heard the expression “opposites attract.” That is correct, and here is where sexual polarity comes into play. 

Sexual Polarity: Masculine Vs. Feminine Energy

Neotantra Image

In love and relationships, polarity has the most power. When opposing masculine and feminine polarities are entirely accepted in a relationship, that “spark” of sexual energy is created. The greater the desire in a relationship, the more opposite the sexual energies of two individuals, are – masculine vs. feminine energy.

Physical attraction, spiritual bliss, and personal connection flourish when there is an apparent sexual polarity between both partners. If two individuals have comparable sexual polarities, that is, they are both more “masculine” and more “feminine,” their attraction will be lessened. However, if there is a significant gap, where one spouse is particularly “feminine”, and the other partner is “masculine,” physical attraction will be heightened. It’s a case of “opposites attract.”

Gender has no bearing on masculine and feminine polarities. Anybody, male or female, may embody either energy. People with male energy tend to be robust and mission-driven problem solvers looking for freedom from life’s constraints.

They are competitive and have difficulty conveying their feelings, yet they want to be recognized in relationships. People with feminine energy are more open, accessible, and willing to offer and accept love. Feminine energies like to be recognized and understood, and their caring nature might cause them to remain in partnerships for too long.

The most crucial aspect of sexual polarity is understanding your actual nature and how it unfolds. If you’re in a relationship, you may use this notion to strengthen it. Are you looking for love? Accepting and cultivating your inherent energy will automatically attract mates that compliment you. 

The Other Side of Sexual Polarity 

Depolarization is the inverse of the law of polarity. It happens in sexual polarity when one or both partners strive to adjust their energy to satisfy the other. A feminine partner may compensate by exhibiting more male characteristics if they feel insecure or neglected.

When a male partner feels questioned or dominated, they may become less determined and lose focus. The lovers no longer engage in a game of masculine and feminine polarity. Because both partners channel the same energy, the relationship becomes stale, tense, or imbalanced.

Depolarization’s Merits and Demerits

7 Signs You Are In Love with a Narcissist Image

Depolarization is terrible for any relationship, but it may sometimes seem “positive,” especially when we are used to it. We tolerate our relationship’s lack of sexual polarity in exchange for one of the three elements of passion: closeness. This is known as the “friendship” part of a relationship. Emotional connection and trust are what keep couples together in the long run.

But, without the other two keys to passion, excitement, and sensuality, a relationship is simply that: a friendship.

The polarity of natural male vs. feminine energy is a passion killer, and it’s a “con” that’s much more important than any comfort or assurance you may experience. To recapture the sensation of pleasure and excitement, a loss of passion might lead to increased squabbling, lesser levels of commitment, and even infidelity. But you don’t have to settle for closure without desire.

How to Correct Depolarization

Do you desire a passionate, thrilling relationship that is rewarding and fulfilling in every way? You deserve it. Open avenues of communication with your spouse and commit to resolving the problem. Bring back the fire.

The male partner must learn to accept life’s feminine power, no matter how wild and destructive it may get sometimes. When confronted with a male spouse’s strong, overpowering presence, the feminine partner must not shrink. Learn to trust the masculine knowledge and its capacity to act clearly in the face of emotion – and to accept the feminine wisdom and its innate intuition and emphasis on love.

What makes a relationship succeed is having things in common. The fact that things are different is what makes a relationship passionate. You need to restore your sexual polarity – and hence your desire.

How Can the Law of Polarity Change Your Life? 

Principle Of Polarity Image

This rule of attraction is more than just sexual polarity. The law of polarity provides a vital tool for changing our mindsets: when we recognize that there is a positive for every bad, we can choose to concentrate on the positive.

When we are trapped in a rut, it might be challenging to understand that there is another way to look at the world. You probably concentrate on these sentiments if you are lonely, dissatisfied with your job, or unsatisfied. Bad occurrences in your life constantly appear to follow these negative beliefs, reinforcing the negative thinking.

It feels like an eternal loop, yet it can be broken.

You must first fix your underlying limiting ideas before learning the polarity rule and applying it to every aspect of your life. If you are unhappy with your employment position, you devote all your attention to finding a new one. On the surface, you seem focused on the good and strive to attain your objectives. However, if you haven’t gone deep enough to find the underlying limiting belief causing your pain – whether fear of failure or the conviction that you don’t deserve happiness – you will continue to attract unhappy employment.

The same is true for sexual polarity. Your limiting beliefs may prevent you from embracing your natural energy in your relationship. Underlying assumptions such as not being adequate or being rejected by your relationship may force you to hide your natural energy. Being damaged in prior relationships may also lead to putting on this mask and focusing on pleasing others rather than allowing our genuine selves to show. 

The Bottom Line

Are you hiding your authentic self in your relationship? Are you a more masculine or feminine person? Have you concealed your actual energy? You can cultivate the passion back into your relationship – or attract the appropriate partner – and improve every aspect of your life once you evaluate your limiting beliefs and utilize the law of polarity.

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Relationships

Can the Codependent Relationship Be Saved?

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Can the Codependent Relationship Be Saved Image

We all make relationships (knowingly or subconsciously) with people we meet every day. More so, we behave differently in each relationship depending on whether the other person is a child, parent, friend, workmate, boss, student, client, or a significant intimate partner. Ideally, these are healthy interdependent relationships that allow both parties to thrive. But, what if one of you becomes clingy or emotionally dependent on the other? It becomes an unhealthy codependent relationship. So, can the codependent relationship be saved?

Let’s find out below.

Triggers of Codependency

A codependency relationship involves one party voluntarily caring for their partner with a complex lifestyle issue. Here, instead of the caregiver or codependent looking inward for validation, they seek and receive self-worth from their partners to the detriment of their needs.

In addition, they feel at peace when they can control others. Hence, their self-esteem, thoughts, and feelings depend on how the other person feels or responds to them. The most common trigger of a codependent relationship is childhood emotional neglect or abuse arising from: –

  • a child forced to be pseudo-parent to their young siblings due to an absentee parent;
  • growing up or caring for a parent struggling with addiction;
  • a child becoming a confidant to a parent going through domestic violence;
  • the child of a narcissistic parent.

Top 3 Signs of Codependent Personality

people pleaser definition Image

#1: Your Partner Struggles with a Complex Lifestyle Issue

One party in a codependent relationship struggles with alcoholism, drugs and substance abuse, chronic gambling, mental health complications, eating disorders, physical disability, or overall irresponsible behavior. It is this need that makes it possible for a codependent relationship to thrive.

#2: You Are the Caregiver or People Pleaser in the Relationship

Codependents feel a constant urge to “save others”. Whereas this behavior sounds admirable, these individuals go further and want to fix problems or challenges on behalf of their partners. For example, they may try to treat an alcoholic spouse but only end up enabling the addiction. Besides, they make their partners dependent on them for everything, further worsening the situation.

#3: Emotional Intimacy is Not Easy for You

Most codependents struggle with low self-esteem and trust issues. In turn, they may avoid active physical contact. For example, they may look emotionless when hugged. Others don’t know how to respond when others praise them. This inability to form emotional intimacy makes them not able to sustain a long-term relationship. Even when they do, they have insatiable sexual desire since their needs are never fully met in the relationship.

Fixing Your Codependent Relationship

Can the codependent relationship be saved? Let’s take the self-evaluation approach here.

#1: Take a Break

Yes, anytime you sense you are in a toxic relationship, including codependency, find a safe way to break away from it. This detachment helps you look back at the relationship with a rational and unbiased perspective. Use this time alone to listen to your thoughts and feelings to discover the new you.

Here are some ideas to help you take a break from a codependent relationship: –

  • Acknowledge that you are in a toxic relationship
  • Decide to pursue a healthy and loving relationship
  • Seek self-compassion as you detox your former beliefs and values that sustained the codependent relationship

Note that detaching from a toxic relationship is never easy. Without a coping mechanism, you may find yourself running back to pick up where you left. Then, opt to live one day at a time, rewarding yourself for small milestones. Also, fill this sudden void by surrounding yourself with positivity. It could be listening to affirmations or practicing self-care.

#2: Rediscover Yourself

Can the Codependent Relationship Be fixed image

Codependent relationships make us neglect our needs as we seek validation from other people. Like, do you recall your identity before getting into this unhealthy union? Rediscover yourself by prioritizing yourself for a change. Use the “me time” to listen to yourself, prioritize your happiness, and show yourself some love. Here are some ways you can practice self-care:

  • Spare some time to explore nature
  • Binge-watch your favorite comedy series
  • Take a spiritual bath
  • Revisit your hobbies and interests
  • Pamper yourself with gifts
  • Join a local gym

#3: Self-Assessment

How do you end up becoming codependent? What are the circumstances or events that happen when you are in a codependent relationship? By understanding your triggers, you can fix your current unhealthy relationship or avoid getting into one in the future. One way to assess yourself is by journalizing your relationships.

Anytime you sense you are becoming codependent, take note of: –

  • Events happening at that particular time.
  • Who is in that codependent relationship?
  • What emotional need do you feel fulfilled in this relationship?

#4: Have a Support System

Share what you are going through with a family member or a close friend that your trust. Also, join forums or local community support groups for other individuals breaking away from toxic relationships. It can be a one-on-one meeting with a coach, an online discussion forum, listening to a podcast, or watching YouTube videos. These resources help you understand your personality and how to heal from a toxic relationship.

#5: Establish Healthy Boundaries

Emotional Healing From Narcissistic Abuse Clear Boundaries Image

Now, a codependent person finds it convenient to be in relationships where they need to fix or look after their partners. Due to this tendency, such a person struggles to set healthy boundaries. Typical signs of unhealthy boundaries include:

  • Feeling overly responsible for other people’s feelings
  • Fear of failure or letting other people down
  • Oversharing your past experiences and using them to manipulate others
  • A burst of anger when you do not get the help you want

You can set healthy boundaries by:

  • Knowing what triggers you to break your boundaries
  • Differentiating support and codependency
  • Holding yourself responsible for your feelings only
  • Practice saying “NO”
  • Acknowledging and dealing with your guilty feelings
  • Seeking help

Conclusion

We all have the carnal drive to connect to other people. However, these connections can turn into codependency when one of the parties relies on the other emotionally. So, can the codependent relationship be saved? If you suspect you are in a codependent relationship, take time to reflect on the possible triggers.

Then, seek ways to fix turn this relationship into a healthy one. It may need you to step back, assess and rediscover who you were before this connection. That way, you can establish healthy boundaries and have a support system that helps you heal one day at a time.

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