In everyday communication, it is not so important how smart, wise or spiritual we are as much as what frequency the communication takes place on. The frequency of communication is influenced by many factors such as the emotions and feelings we express, the words we choose, how we build phrases, our intentions, our energy, mood, and more. In this article, I will share with you what conscious communication is and effective tips you can use to master it!
What Is Conscious Communication?
Conscious communication is a way of talking and listening that is focused on growing strong, mutually enriching relationships.
A key principle of conscious communication is to make it as easy as possible for the other person to satisfy your needs by asking for a specific behavior that will fulfill it.
When people feel vulnerable, they usually often try to compensate for it by becoming demanding and threatening. They are convinced that forcefulness will increase the likelihood of getting what they want. However, this approach usually has the opposite effect, leading to conflict situations and misunderstandings. Some people feel unaccepted. Others feel pressure and violation of personal boundaries. As a rule, such things lead to ruining relationships.
The Secret Of Conscious Communication
So what is the secret of conscious communication?
According to Yogi Bhajan, we need to strive for pure, intuitive communication, without hidden meaning and desire to benefit from dialogue, without trying to convict the interlocutor of falsehood or being wrong. We also need to elevate people around us, to give them a chance to see and be aware of themselves from the outside on their own.
“When you speak unconsciously, you represent your emotions, your feelings, your neuroses, your handicaps, your shortcomings, and your insecurities. When you speak subconsciously, you are a con-person, you are a thief, you are a cheat, you manipulate, you are dishonest. All you want is to win the moment or impress the moment. Such people are never true to a bigger picture; they are never real in their lives. When you speak consciously, that which you speak about happens. When you speak super-consciously from the supreme self of you, that becomes the guiding line for the Universe. Then the akashic record has to move with that angle.” – Yogi Bhajan
8 Tips On Conscious Communication
Tip #1: Practice Self-Observation
Conscious dialogue, first of all, involves observing yourself during the communication process. It includes the understanding of what emotions and feelings are hidden behind each spoken phrase. Moreover, we need to be aware of what exactly motivates us to be involved in this dialogue and what we want to achieve as a result.
All these factors affect our voice tone, facial expressions, and gestures. Therefore, it is very important to monitor the reaction of the body, to feel the emotions that guide us in the process of dialogue.
Tip #2: Keep Emotional Neutrality And Inner Silence
Neutrality does not mean that we need to get rid of feelings, but it means that all our emotional manifestations are under observation. It is like control, not in the sense of “I restrain myself,” but in the sense of “I observe myself from the outside.”
You might notice how radically your speech changes if you conduct a dialogue from the point of irritation and fear. I’m sure you know that feeling of how it is difficult to agree when there are a hidden resistance and unwillingness to compromise.
Therefore, internal neutrality allows not only to say the necessary words but also to monitor everything you say, every influence on the change of the mood of the dialogue.
Tip #3: Be Aware Of What Chakra The Dialogue Is Coming From
Every conversation we have is connected to a certain chakra. This energetical connection is very important since it affects the energy of the whole conversation and your interlocutor can sense it.
If we speak from the first energy center (Muladhara chakra), our speech can be unnecessarily cautious. However, in a state of anger, our speech can be rough.
When we speak from the second energy center (Svadhisthana chakra), our speech is soft, sometimes – sexual.
If we speak from the third energy center (Manipura chakra), the conversation acquires persistence, the effect of pressure.
When we speak from the fourth energy center (Anahata chakra), we present ourselves from the heart. In this case, our words are colored by emotions. Sometimes it prevents us from seeing the objective truth.
If we speak from the fifth energy center (Vishuddha chakra), we sound like diplomats with a structured analytical mindset.
When we speak from the sixth energy center (Ajna chakra), our speech turns into an endless stream. If communication is based on your Third eye chakra it usually brings more truth into conversation. This type of communication is based on intuition and empathy.
Tip #4: Surrender To The Circumstances
The main rule of tantric practices is: to win by surrendering to the situation, circumstances.
Use this rule in communication if there is a dispute. This will help to find the right words, build a dialogue. Release all emotions inside yourself, surrender to circumstances and watch the result.
Meditation is an important assistant in communication. Here we not only calm our emotions, reach a state of neutrality, but also learn to be aware of our space, boundaries, observe our reactions in the process of dialogue.
In this state of balance, communication becomes constructive, and there is a stable ability to timely select the right words and competently build the entire dialogue.
Tip #5: Take Responsibility For Your Feelings
When describing your feelings, choose words that express the sensations you’re experiencing, such as: “I feel sad”, or “I feel frustrated”, or “I feel lonely”, etc. Avoid words that describe you as a victim, such as: “I feel betrayed”, or “I feel rejected”, or “I feel neglected”, etc. These “victimizing” words suggest that someone else is responsible for your feelings. When you take responsibility for your feelings and emotions, you are informing rather than blaming the people.
Tip #6: Keep The Message Positive
Under no circumstances are you required to speak negatively. Make sure that your speech doesn’t sound offensive. Neither should you speak in a way that would be just buttering. Speaking should be neither overdoing nor under-doing nor super-positive nor super-negative.
Keep in mind that communication is just vibration. Therefore, pay attention to what frequency you are vibrating. Keep producing positive vibrations and don’t allow a conversation to turn to in a negative way. A conscious person talks with absolute dignity and faith.
Tip #7: Ask For What You Want
What specific behaviors or actions would fulfill your needs? For instance, if you want more attention from your partner, do not just ask him/her to spend more time with you. Instead, ask him/her to take you for a walk after dinner, or go to a movie on Saturday night. Express your need in the form of a request rather than a demand. Everyone has an inherent impulse to resist demands, whereas our self-esteem goes up when we’re able to fulfill requests.
Although using this process doesn’t guarantee that you’ll always get what you need, it will substantially increase the likelihood that you will spend more time feeling comfortable and at ease and less time in emotional distress.
Tip #8: Be Conscious Of Timing
Timing can make a big difference. Sometimes it can be just as important as how and what you say. For example, it is usually not a good idea to bring up sensitive topics right before a meal when blood sugar is low. It is also not a good idea to bring up issues in the heat of the moment when you or the interlocutor is angry and hurt. It would be a good idea to find a good time for both. This conveys mutual respect and sets the stage for a productive discussion.
Conscious communication is an inner driven focus to grow strong and mutually enriching relationships. Remember that conscious communication includes not just conscious speaking but conscious listening. Like giving and receiving, the effects of how you talk are inseparable from how you listen.