Relationships

How To Master Conscious Communication? 8 Effective Tips

Published

3 months ago

October 28, 2019

In everyday communication, it is not so important how smart, wise or spiritual we are as much as what frequency the communication takes place on. The frequency of communication is influenced by many factors such as the emotions and feelings we express, the words we choose, how we build phrases, our intentions, our energy, mood, and more. In this article, I will share with you what conscious communication is and effective tips you can use to master it!

What Is Conscious Communication?

Conscious communication is a way of talking and listening that is focused on growing strong, mutually enriching relationships.

A key principle of conscious communication is to make it as easy as possible for the other person to satisfy your needs by asking for a specific behavior that will fulfill it.

When people feel vulnerable, they usually often try to compensate for it by becoming demanding and threatening. They are convinced that forcefulness will increase the likelihood of getting what they want. However, this approach usually has the opposite effect, leading to conflict situations and misunderstandings. Some people feel unaccepted. Others feel pressure and violation of personal boundaries. As a rule, such things lead to ruining relationships.

The Secret Of Conscious Communication

So what is the secret of conscious communication?

According to Yogi Bhajan, we need to strive for pure, intuitive communication, without hidden meaning and desire to benefit from dialogue, without trying to convict the interlocutor of falsehood or being wrong. We also need to elevate people around us, to give them a chance to see and be aware of themselves from the outside on their own.

“When you speak unconsciously, you represent your emotions, your feelings, your neuroses, your handicaps, your shortcomings, and your insecurities. When you speak subconsciously, you are a con-person, you are a thief, you are a cheat, you manipulate, you are dishonest. All you want is to win the moment or impress the moment. Such people are never true to a bigger picture; they are never real in their lives. When you speak consciously, that which you speak about happens. When you speak super-consciously from the supreme self of you, that becomes the guiding line for the Universe. Then the akashic record has to move with that angle.” – Yogi Bhajan

8 Tips On Conscious Communication

Tip #1: Practice Self-Observation

Conscious dialogue, first of all, involves observing yourself during the communication process. It includes the understanding of what emotions and feelings are hidden behind each spoken phrase. Moreover, we need to be aware of what exactly motivates us to be involved in this dialogue and what we want to achieve as a result.

All these factors affect our voice tone, facial expressions, and gestures. Therefore, it is very important to monitor the reaction of the body, to feel the emotions that guide us in the process of dialogue.

Tip #2: Keep Emotional Neutrality And Inner Silence

Neutrality does not mean that we need to get rid of feelings, but it means that all our emotional manifestations are under observation. It is like control, not in the sense of “I restrain myself,” but in the sense of “I observe myself from the outside.”

You might notice how radically your speech changes if you conduct a dialogue from the point of irritation and fear. I’m sure you know that feeling of how it is difficult to agree when there are a hidden resistance and unwillingness to compromise.

Therefore, internal neutrality allows not only to say the necessary words but also to monitor everything you say, every influence on the change of the mood of the dialogue.

Tip #3: Be Aware Of What Chakra The Dialogue Is Coming From

Every conversation we have is connected to a certain chakra. This energetical connection is very important since it affects the energy of the whole conversation and your interlocutor can sense it.

If we speak from the first energy center (Muladhara chakra), our speech can be unnecessarily cautious. However, in a state of anger, our speech can be rough.

When we speak from the second energy center (Svadhisthana chakra), our speech is soft, sometimes – sexual.

If we speak from the third energy center (Manipura chakra), the conversation acquires persistence, the effect of pressure.

When we speak from the fourth energy center (Anahata chakra), we present ourselves from the heart. In this case, our words are colored by emotions. Sometimes it prevents us from seeing the objective truth.

If we speak from the fifth energy center (Vishuddha chakra), we sound like diplomats with a structured analytical mindset.

When we speak from the sixth energy center (Ajna chakra), our speech turns into an endless stream. If communication is based on your Third eye chakra it usually brings more truth into conversation. This type of communication is based on intuition and empathy.

Tip #4: Surrender To The Circumstances

The main rule of tantric practices is: to win by surrendering to the situation, circumstances.

Use this rule in communication if there is a dispute. This will help to find the right words, build a dialogue. Release all emotions inside yourself, surrender to circumstances and watch the result.

Meditation is an important assistant in communication. Here we not only calm our emotions, reach a state of neutrality, but also learn to be aware of our space, boundaries, observe our reactions in the process of dialogue.

In this state of balance, communication becomes constructive, and there is a stable ability to timely select the right words and competently build the entire dialogue.

Tip #5: Take Responsibility For Your Feelings

When describing your feelings, choose words that express the sensations you’re experiencing, such as: “I feel sad”, or “I feel frustrated”, or “I feel lonely”, etc. Avoid words that describe you as a victim, such as: “I feel betrayed”, or “I feel rejected”, or “I feel neglected”, etc. These “victimizing” words suggest that someone else is responsible for your feelings. When you take responsibility for your feelings and emotions, you are informing rather than blaming the people.

Tip #6: Keep The Message Positive

Under no circumstances are you required to speak negatively. Make sure that your speech doesn’t sound offensive. Neither should you speak in a way that would be just buttering. Speaking should be neither overdoing nor under-doing nor super-positive nor super-negative.

Keep in mind that communication is just vibration. Therefore, pay attention to what frequency you are vibrating. Keep producing positive vibrations and don’t allow a conversation to turn to in a negative way. A conscious person talks with absolute dignity and faith.

Tip #7: Ask For What You Want

What specific behaviors or actions would fulfill your needs? For instance, if you want more attention from your partner, do not just ask him/her to spend more time with you. Instead, ask him/her to take you for a walk after dinner, or go to a movie on Saturday night. Express your need in the form of a request rather than a demand. Everyone has an inherent impulse to resist demands, whereas our self-esteem goes up when we’re able to fulfill requests.

Although using this process doesn’t guarantee that you’ll always get what you need, it will substantially increase the likelihood that you will spend more time feeling comfortable and at ease and less time in emotional distress.

Tip #8: Be Conscious Of Timing

Timing can make a big difference. Sometimes it can be just as important as how and what you say. For example, it is usually not a good idea to bring up sensitive topics right before a meal when blood sugar is low. It is also not a good idea to bring up issues in the heat of the moment when you or the interlocutor is angry and hurt. It would be a good idea to find a good time for both. This conveys mutual respect and sets the stage for a productive discussion.

Conclusion

Conscious communication is an inner driven focus to grow strong and mutually enriching relationships. Remember that conscious communication includes not just conscious speaking but conscious listening. Like giving and receiving, the effects of how you talk are inseparable from how you listen.

Don't Miss

The Spiritual Connection Checklist: 11 Signs You Are Spiritually Connected With Someone

Katya Ki

Katya Ki is the Founder and Editor-In-Chief of SOLANCHA Magazine, a Feng Shui Master, a Metaphysical Expert, a Reiki Master, and Human Rights Attorney. She has been studying Eastern metaphysics and esotericism for almost 20 years now. And she's still discovering new knowledge, which is hidden in ancient teachings. During her pilgrimage to the monastery of Saint Catherine in Egypt, she discovered the SOLANCHA System. This is how the SOLANCHA journey started!

Relationships

The Spiritual Connection Checklist: 11 Signs You Are Spiritually Connected With Someone

Published

5 months ago

September 3, 2019

SOLANCHA STAFF

Have you ever met someone who made you feel like you are looking at a mirror image of yourself? That liberating and confident feeling that makes you forget, even for a moment what weighs on your mind when this other person is nearby. Could it be that there is a spiritual connection between you?

How can you tell?

Well, the spiritual bonds between people are more prevalent than you may think. In this article, we’ll share the tale-tell signs of spiritual connections. Let’s get to it!

11 Signs of Spiritual Connection

#1 You Feel Tranquil in Each Other’s Presence or Thoughts

Picture this: You are going through a nervous time and feel the urge to share it with someone. Who comes to your mind? Equally, you are eager about your current situation, but just one touch from this person makes you feel that all will be well.

Most probably, you share a spiritual connection with this soul.

Admittedly, persons sharing a spiritual connection rarely experience that awkward moment when together. Instead, they are comfortable in each other’s presence.

#2 You Withhold Nothing from Each Other

Do you know a person who makes you feel comfortable in your skin? Regardless of how long you’ve been together, both of you seem to know each other inside out, literally. In turn, you find it hard keeping secrets from each other. This other person makes it easy for you to deal with a dark past that you have been avoiding throughout your life. This sign shows that the two of you have a spiritual connection.

#3 Intimacy Beyond Physical Intimacy

Often, when you meet your twin flame, you value your shared rendezvous equally as the sexual life. Hence, sex becomes only one part of the bonding. Others may mention that finding someone who grasps their intellectual outlook is enough or better than sharing a bed every night. For such persons, intimacy is knowing that they can be helpless in each other’s presence and feel safe about it.

#4 Time Flies When You Are Together

Who is that person you find yourself talking to and switching from one topic to another endlessly without any of you getting bored? Furthermore, you always mesmerize yourself how much pour out from your lips or thoughts when you are near this person. It’s almost like he/she taps into that part of your mind that translates your imaginations into flowing words. In turn, you find yourself losing track of time when talking to them.

#5 You Share Some Unique Virtues

When two people have a spiritual bond, they tend to be honest with each other. They listen to each other in an empathic way and have mutual respect’s limits. Furthermore, such a person easily interacts with the other through open and meaningful talks. Hence, if you find it effortless to share such traits with another, chances are you have a spiritual connection with that person.

#6 Have Similar Goals and Expectations

When two persons have similar life goals, they have the same perspective about their future. Hence, they build a sound relationship with solid family values. Moreover, having a spiritual connection makes it effortless to pursue a common goal.

On the contrary, persons who lack such a connection tend to work against each other’s efforts. With time, they find their careers and family life stagnating.

#7 He/She ‘Steals’ Your Thoughts

Persons with a spiritual connection may find that they come up with similar ideas and thoughts. Think about it: You come up with a creative idea. However, before you implement it, the other person will suggest something very similar to it.

Has he/she stolen your grand ideas?

No. It only shows the two of you are spiritually connected. Knowing this fact will save you heartaches and misunderstandings in your relationships.

#8 You Communicate In Silence

Do you have this special someone who you feel can read your mind? He/she says what you are about to say or tends to finish your sentences. Persons with a spiritual connection tend to understand each other’s feelings without uttering a word. Often, they know how they feel about each other but may lack words to define it.

Besides, when something is not right with the other person, they can sense it even when they are miles apart. Such silent communication makes the spiritual connection very special between loved ones. They can comfort each other without interrogating one another.

#9 You Trust Blindly

If ever you find yourself giving into this other person’s advice or ideas without even blinking an eye, you could be spiritually connected. However, being naive should not be confused with a spiritual connection. Assuredly, the spiritual connection removes any doubt you may have about the other person. In turn, you find yourself submitting to him/her.

#10 Laughter in Every Conversation

Yes. You may not be talking about a jovial topic, but you feel your soul smiling back to every word you hear from this other person. It’s almost like the talks make you feel lighter. Hence, you tend to have a familiar sense of humor.

#11 Your Gut Feeling Tells You So

Sometimes, all you need to confirm a spiritual bond with another person is by following your instincts. What does your gut feeling say? Do you feel this is the person who fills the void you’ve been battling with all this time? Does their presence overshadow everything else? Do you see things falling into place with them in the picture? Then, you should trust your intuition on this.

Conclusion

Spiritual connection with another person is a plus in any conscious relationship. Still, whereas you can grow fond of each other, intimacy is no guarantee of a spiritual link between you. Persons relating in husband/wife, child/parent, or boyfriend/girlfriend roles may be tolerating each other to conform to the norms. In contrast, having a deep affinity with another is more profound than this.

Yes.

It goes beyond the gender and current relationship. Plus, it can be formed or lost with time. Therefore, it’s necessary to know if you have a spiritual connection with someone. That way, you’ll strive towards growing this bond.

Love

How Do Empaths Protect Themselves From Narcissists? Practical Insights and Tips

Published

7 months ago

June 18, 2019

Katya Ki

how do empaths protect themselves from narcissists image

Relationships can be very complicated. And strangely enough, we don’t always consciously choose the person whom we fall in love with really. It just happens. By nature, empaths have a big heart, while Narcissists, on the contrary, have an annoyingly exaggerated sense of self-importance. It is thus a little bit challenging when these two contrasting personas are in a relationship. So then, how do empaths protect themselves from narcissists? Do they need protection in the first place? In this article, I will take an in-depth look at these two characters and give tips on how to accommodate each other.

Who are Empaths?

If you are an empath, the chances are that you have had an encounter(s) with a narcissist(s). Whether or not the experience was fruitful solely depends on how you interacted with them. Narcissists thrive on making other people feel inferior about themselves.

This could be draining given that empaths are quite the opposite of narcissists – sensitive.

Empaths Character Traits

Before we delve into knowing how empaths protect themselves from narcissists, let’s discuss the traits that define empaths.

The following traits are common among empaths:

Do you have a problem with boundaries? Empaths tend to worry more about others than themselves. Consequently, it is difficult at times to tell when to open up and let other people into their life and when to shut off negative energy.
Empaths are easily prone to a nervous breakdown. They feel for everyone, including people who are total strangers to them. Absorbing all these emotions (both happy and sad) can lead to a nervous system meltdown.
They have intimacy issues. Empaths are quick to connect with other people emotionally. This is a liability especially when it comes to maintaining a relationship with one person. You can unconsciously find yourself emotionally entangled with more than one person.
Alone time is replenishing. Empaths recharge when they are alone and free from human contact. Absorbing all these emotions can be weary and draining. Alone time allows an empath to decompress and recharge. This is mainly achieved in a serene natural environment setting.
You have an acute intuition. The gut feeling of an empath is always right most times. I think the ability to feel what the next person is feeling is what contributes to this.

Who are Narcissists?

Beyond knowing how empaths can protect themselves from narcissists, you need to know how to identify a narcissist. It is not hard to identify a narcissist from the crowd. No one person will admit to being grandiose callous and unemotional.

Narcissists Character Traits

Narcissists portray the following characteristics:

Need for self-admiration. Narcissists crave admiration more than anything else. They will bombard you with statistics and personal achievements to feed their ego. This has the effect of making the other person think lowly of themselves.
They lack empathy. Narcissists do not show the slightest of emotion towards anything or anyone.
Feeling entitled. They are arrogant, selfish and think that others are indebted to them.
They can be manipulative. A narcissist will trick you into doing what they want. Their interests always come first, and they love exploiting others.
Authoritativeness. Since they believe they are good at everything they do, narcissists have an inflated sense of bossiness.

How Do Empaths Protect Themselves From Narcissists?

Given that they connect quickly, empaths are an easy target to prey on. Do empaths need to protect themselves from narcissists? Yes. Narcissists will not mind that their utterances and actions are hurting others. As a result, such a relationship will only wreck an empath. That said, how do empaths protect themselves from narcissists?

Meditation

Connecting with nature is the simplest and quickest way for an empath to replenish. Take time to reflect and think about whether or not someone is adding value to you or just exploiting you. This is the only time you can clear your mind and think clearly.

Build Boundaries

I know this sounds impossible, but there is no other way around it. You need to cut off any ties with narcissists. If you can’t then at least come clean with the person. Narcissists will only drain you of your energy at their pleasure. This might sound selfish at first, but it is for your highest good that you avoid these people.

Alone Time

Do not spend too much time with a person if they exhibit narcissistic behaviors. Take some time off to decompress and gain back the lost energy.

Let Yourself Be

Naturally, you will fall for a narcissist and even get tempted in to ‘helping’ them. Remember, it is not your job to fix everybody. Who will fix you anyway? Sometimes you need to be quite the opposite of what defines you and care for yourself.

Trust Your Intuition

This is the easiest way for empaths to protect themselves from narcissists. Your guts will always be right. So if you detect some negative energy in your life, the safest decision is to walk away.

Don’t Take Everything to Heart

Someone might say something insensitive towards you. If you took everything seriously, then you might become a human wreck. Take criticism for what it is without necessarily letting it eat you up. Besides, not everyone will always be helpful to you and expecting that from them is no less than being a narcissist.

Ignore them

Narcissists crave attention. Don’t give it to them. They can and will find someone else to pick on.

The Bottom Line

The truth is that no one is perfect. Well, a narcissist believes otherwise. Don’t be so obsessed with the idea of protecting yourself such that you forget to live and enjoy yourself. You may end up a sad, depressed soul and discover that you are lonely and unhappy when it is already too late to change things. People will always have flaws, and I think that is what completes us in our human nature. Dating a narcissist may be the equivalent of a dangerous dance with the devil, but hey, at least you get to dance in the long run. I hope the above answers the question: how do empaths protect themselves from narcissists. In the end, what counts is whether you found happiness in your relationship.

Dating

What Is Tantra? Demystifying The Myths

Published

8 months ago

June 12, 2019

Katya Ki

What is tantra? Tantra in literal terms can be compared to technology. Just like we harness technology to create what we want – physical items or otherwise, tantra is leveraged to enable us to make available, an intelligence beyond our present capabilities. It is a sophisticated process of awareness, openness, and harmony. It allows you to open your heart and move the energies within your body through conscious awareness.

Demystifying Tantra

Tantra originated from India and was documented in Sanskrit texts from the 6th to about the 13th century. It was (and still is) meant to enhance the mastery of one’s energies and how to harness them. Tantra works to help us to love and understand our lives. It also creates a spiritual connection with everything that is present in our lives. And in this case, even our partners.

The nature of the human mind is such that if we can distinctly create something in our mind, the next step would be to empower that with our life energy. And if we can do that, it will become a living reality by itself. Most humans have lost this power because their minds have become restless. Their life energies are also not sufficiently organized to put them behind whatever they wish.

There are tools that we can use to harness our mind and energies to making an intelligence that surpasses our present capabilities. These tools are referred to as tantric methods. We use tantra to make things happen. Tantra methods are varied. In yoga, we refer to it as tantra yoga. In sexuality, we relate to the tantra method as tantric sex. With Tantra, you work on your mind, energies, emotions, body, and heart, collectively or separately, to achieve something.

If you’re still wondering what is tantra, we can conclude that if you are able to strengthen yourself physically such that you can accomplish arduous tasks, then that is Tantra. Similarly, tantra is when you manage to employ your energies to your heart. This makes you kind and loving to all.

Tantra and Sexuality

For most people (especially in Western countries), the mention of tantra resonates with acrobatic sexuality – hours and hours of it. There is nothing wrong with wanting to enjoy prolonged sex. However, tantra works mainly to enhance a more intimate and stronger connection with your partner.

So, all this begs the question, what is tantra with regards to sexuality?

To answer this question, I will refer to a form of tantra called tantric sex.

Tantric sex, an ancient Hindu practice, had remained hidden from the public for ages due to religious reasons. However, it is now open to all. Tantric sex is a form of slow sex. It is designed as a way of weaving and expanding the energies at play during sex. The aim is for the whole experience to be as enjoyable and rewarding as possible.

Sexuality is potent. Its energies are some of the most intense. Tantric sex enables you to harness this energy appropriately. Instead of demanding fulfillment from your partner, tantra helps you to find it within yourself. This creates stability and harmony in relationships.

Tantra also allows couples to enjoy better sex. It provides an avenue in which they eradicate the negative emotions that work to inhibit the blossoming of relationships. In Tantra, sex isn’t a taboo or something to be ashamed. Instead, it is sacred and an expression of our inherent ability to experience joy with others.

There are specific guidelines when performing tantra that I apply. These guidelines are extremely useful in facilitating a bond with my partner and providing a conducive atmosphere for intimacy. In many ways, it enhances sensuality even before you initiate intercourse.

The Basic Tantric Sex Principles are:

Creating a sacred place for your sexual time with your partner.
Slowing down and being aware and present with each other.
Honoring your lover.
Emphasizing total body sexual foreplay.

Use tantric breathing exercises to channel your Kundalini. The term refers to sexual energy that stays dormant in your body until it is awakened. It then spreads from the base of your spine to the top of your head, through your Chakras (your body energy centers).

The Impacts of Tantra on Spirituality As Well As Sexual Relationships

Tantra enables you to channel your energies into achieving calmness and inner peace which are integral components of your spirituality.

The emphasis of tantric sex on honoring your lover and taking out negative thoughts about them as well as yourself, from your mind is essential in promoting healthy relationships.

Today’s lives and hustles mean that we rarely stop and get to understand the special people in our lives. Tantra enhances connecting with your lover more intensely. This improves the bond you share with each other. You get to understand each other on a very high level. It also provides adequate closeness in your intimacy which enhances your union.

The ability to experience sexual pleasure is vital in any sexual relationship. Tantric sex enables you to harness sexual energy. The pleasurable sensations get exaggerated and experienced over long periods. After all, sex is part of being human and enjoying it in the best way possible is essential to our wellbeing.

In tantra, we learn how to use our mind, energies, and body as instruments with which we can achieve higher possibilities. When correctly implemented, tantra enhances spiritual healing and wellness.

Tips for Spicing Up Lovemaking Based On Tantric Sex

Mental Manipulation

The key to enjoying sex lies in one’s mind. If anything the brain is the organ that processes our sensations. What this means is that any negative thoughts including misgivings about ourselves or our partners will ultimately hinder us from enjoying the experiences. You, therefore, need to shed it all and have a clear mind.

Think of it as having an intimate relationship with the best version of your partner. Release the past and immerse yourself in the now – the present. Keep it all out and focus on the experiences at hand. Focus on the nourishing thoughts about yourself, your body as well as your partner’s.

Establish and Maintain Eye Contact

Having eye contact with your partner during sex (as well as during foreplay) is one of the best ways to connect with them. Intimacy is not just about intercourse. It is also about getting to be one with your partner. Eye contact enables you to fully immerse yourself in your sensations as well as those of your partner.

One way to start is by eye gazing. Sit across each other on the bed with no touching and merely stare into each other’s eyes for about five minutes. Essentially, it creates a deep level of connection with your partner even before you touch one another.

Meditate As You Have Sex

What I mean by this, is to picture the sensations while being fully aware of your present moment. If you tune in to your five senses, you will experience everything that you perceive at that moment. This will happen through what you see, hear, feel, smell, and taste.

The next step is to use your sexual energy to get into a state of trance. For regular sex, your sensations and the turn-on are localized in your genitals. However, with tantra, you can direct this energy to the brain and through the rest of the body. It will get you into a profound state of consciousness.

In Conclusion

Orgasm or climaxing is usually a short-lived period of extreme pleasure. However, with tantric sex, due to the intense circulation of sexual energy, as well as the fact that you’re more in a state of trance, the orgasm leads to the entire body coming alive. Instead of being a brief experience, the body radiates these extreme pleasure sensations for hours and hours. With this, I hope the question of what is tantra has been comprehensively addressed.