Awareness

What Is Echoism? The Silent Response to Narcissism Explained

Published

5 months ago

September 1, 2022

If you have an active narcissistic parent, spouse, sibling, or leader figure in your life, you may find yourself losing your voice in the relationship. Your true identity is either completely stripped away, or never gets a chance to nurture and take root. In turn, you find yourself always agreeing with what the narcissistic person says. Dr. Craig Malkin, a psychologist, researcher, and author, popularized the term “Echoism” to describe this behavior.

This article will share with you what echoism is, what its signs are, and how you can recognize an echoist.

The Origin: The Greek Mythology, Echo

Before we discuss “what is echoism?” we need to understand its origin. A story is told about the Curse of Hera explaining the origin of echoism as follows: –

The Couple

Goddess Hera was the wife of Zeus. God Zeus was attracted to nymphs. He would frequent earth to have affairs with them. His escapades made Hera jealous. She was determined to catch her husband red-handed. Hence, she followed him around Mount Cithaeron, watching his every move.

The Plan

On recognizing this, Zeus came up with a plan to occupy his wife. He engaged Echo, a mountain nymph residing at Mount Cithaeron, to have long chats with Hera. That way, he would have ample time to get away and continue with his affairs unnoticed.

Still, eventually, Hera recognized what was happening. Out of fury, she cursed Echo to never speak her mind ever again. Instead, Echo would only repeat the most recently spoken words of another person.

One day, while Echo was up and about all alone in the woods, she saw and fell in love with a charming young man by the name of Narcissus. Narcissus was hunting deer in the forest and had roamed away from his colleagues. Echo followed Narcissus silently, unable to share her fondness for him. Yet soon enough, as luck would have it, Echo found an opportunity to do so.

See, Narcissus would call out to his buddies by asking, “Is anyone there?” And, Echo would use this chance to repeat the question, to catch Narcissus’ attention. Upon hearing her, Narcissus shouted, “Let’s come together.” For he thought it was his mates who had replied to him. Instead, Echo reiterated these words while racing towards Narcissist. But Narcissist rejected her, leaving her in despair.

The Ending

Later on, Narcissus would pass by a lake and catch a glimpse of himself. He fell in love and became obsessed with his image. Unable to move on, Narcissus ended up dying there, leaving Echo in desperate mourning. Eventually, Echo died too but left her voice behind.

The Lesson

In a nutshell, the above Greek mythology summarizes the events of Echo, who was the original victim of a narcissist. And isn’t this what we see happening to our society every day? Love-entanglements that lead to murder or suicide?

Echoism in the 21^st Century

Despite echoism originating centuries earlier, it is only until the year 2015 that Dr. Greg Malkin came up with the term Echoism. In his book, Rethinking Narcissism: The Secret to Recognizing and Coping With Narcissists, Malkin views echoism as a direct effect of being in a relationship with a narcissist. Today, psychologists observe that there are a growing number of people with echoism.

What Is Echoism?

Echoism is a new word in the world of mental health which involves people losing their sense of self as they constantly try to “prop up” those with more inflated egos in their life.

Narcissism vs. Echoism

Narcissism and echoism are two extreme behaviors on the same spectrum. On one hand, narcissists come out as selfish, show grandiosity, are in constant need of admiration, and view themselves as better than everybody else. In contrast, echoists portray the opposite of narcissism. They are always afraid of feeling special, standing out, or expressing their needs. Instead, they forfeit their interests for the sake of others.

How Does Echoism Develop?

Interestingly, the relationship between a narcissist and an echoist starts with the narcissist “rescuing” the echoist from a situation that is not good. Think of that narcissistic spouse who rescues their partner from losing their home to auctioneers. Or, it could be a narcissistic leader using their influence to secure a job for a fresh college graduate.

However, this altruistic narcissist manipulates the echoist to pay back this gesture by obliging to all their demands.

Since most echoists grow up in a narcissistic relationship, they feel they owe the narcissist. In turn, they will do and speak whatever the narcissist dictates. Narcissists love such behavior because, they get to be the center of attention.

The Signs

Now that we understand what is echoism, what are the tell-tale signs? Well, you can identify an echoist if this person: –

Is an extreme people pleaser.
Struggles to accept compliments or praise of any kind. Here, instead of saying thank you, they will reflect or ignore the compliment.
Is an excellent listener but never shares their problems with anyone. These are the persons you run to when you need to offload your problems, yet they never seem to have a bad day.
Hates being the center of attention.
Defines their identity as per what the narcissist dictates.
Is quick to take the blame when things go wrong.
Fears being seen as needy, hence, never asks for favors.
Is in constant search for validation but rarely ever gets it. Hence, this person revolves in a cycle of seeking out people to get that validation.
Tends to look for someone who will boost their self-esteem. This other person ends up putting their own needs behind the needs of the narcissist too.
Represses their feelings to support other people. They never focus on themselves or allow anyone to focus on them.
Feels the urge to give everything they have in return for affection from the narcissist. In contrast, they sacrifice their all as a way to express their love.

Echoism vs. Empathy vs. Introversion

Regrettably, many people dismiss the above signs of echoism, mistaking them for an empath or an introvert. Yet, the two are quite different. Indeed, most echoists are quite intelligent and successful persons. They may be nice and supportive but never doormats.

Moreover, a lot of echoists are capable of making independent decisions. And, should you raise an alarm about their behavior, they may even get upset. To them, this is not a big deal.

Secondly, whereas introverts like to be quiet and overthink most aspects of their lives, echoists depict introverted ways only because they learned that it is unsafe to express them.

The Bottom Line

If you are in a toxic relationship that makes you become an echoist, you ought to free yourself from it as soon as possible. For, echoism leads to unhealthy boundaries and habits that can hinder your development. Seek professional help and begin your journey of narcissistic abuse recovery.

Up Next

Spiritual Empath: 10 Signs You Could Be One

Don't Miss

Emotional Exhaustion: The Tell-Tale Signs & How to Deal With It

SOLANCHA STAFF

Awareness

The Ultimate Guide to Chakra Symbols & Their Meanings

Published

2 days ago

February 7, 2023

SOLANCHA STAFF

Seven main chakras ascend along the spine, from the navel to the top of the head. Each chakra has a symbol that signifies its individual characteristics and energies. These symbols are of spiritual importance and have a deep-seated meaning. This article will introduce you to chakra symbols and their meanings.

What is a Chakra?

The term ‘chakra’ comes from Sanskrit and means ‘wheel,’ signifying the movement of the energy within the human body. When this energy force flows freely, the chakras will spin, providing access to a heightened level of awareness. Each main chakra can be represented by a symbol consisting of different images, shapes, and colors.

Symbolic Representation of The Chakras

The chakras are energy centers in the body that are connected to the various aspects of our lives. Each chakra is associated with different emotions, thoughts, and energies. The seven main chakras are associated with our physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. By connecting to the chakras, we can bring balance to our lives, improve health, and gain insight into the deeper aspects of our being.

As you can see in the above picture, each chakra is represented by a yantra with lotus flower petals. The colors associated with each chakra signify their individual energy – the chakras are laid out in the same sequence of colors as a rainbow, beginning at the bottom of the spine. By understanding chakra symbols, we can also understand the purpose of the chakras.

Chakra Symbols

The seven chakras have been represented by symbols for centuries. These symbols have come to represent each of the seven energy centers in the body. By understanding the meaning of the chakra symbols, we can gain insight into how we can work with the energy of the chakras to promote overall balance and well-being.

Root Chakra Symbol

Muladhara chakra is the first of the seven main chakras located in the perineum and coccyx. This chakra connects us with the earth and provides a harmonious movement of energy in the body.

The Root chakra holds a complex symbol meaning, which is depicted by the alchemical symbol of the earth element. The Mudhalara is associated with this symbol, illustrating its capacity to promote grounding energy.

The four-petalled lotus symbolizes the four distinct areas of consciousness – Manas (mind), Buddhi (intellect), Chitta (consciousness), and Ahamkara (ego).

The square symbolizes fundamental life power, steadiness, and dependability. This four-sided figure is representative of essential life energy.

The Yantra within the sacred lotus flower is represented by an inverted triangle, with three points relevant to consciousness, experience, and divine entities. It is a symbol of the earth element, thus exuding grounding energy.

The Root chakra is symbolized by the color red, which is associated with feelings of power, control, and safety. Additionally, it is a representation of humanity’s birth of consciousness.

Sacral Chakra Symbol

Svadhisthana (Sacral chakra) is located between the pelvic bones in the lower abdomen area.

The sacral chakra is represented by a symbol composed of six lotus petals, each with a specific meaning. This symbol represents the energies of the sacral chakra, which are related to creativity, emotions, sexuality, and abundance. The color associated with this chakra is usually orange. Each of the six petals of the symbol is meant to signify a different area of life that the sacral chakra influences.

The Svadhishthana, more commonly known as the sacral chakra, is our main energy center. It is associated with water, signifying flexibility, activity, and vitality.

The six-petal lotus associated with the sacral chakra symbolizes the overcoming of negative emotions and qualities, such as anger, jealousy, cruelty, hatred, and pride. This is believed to allow us to embrace our divine qualities.

The circles depicted in the Yantra symbolize the water element and the moon, signifying the repetitiveness of life’s stages, such as birth, death, and revival.

The crescent moon is a representation of cycles and flux, chaos, and perpetual activity.

The orange color is associated with the sacral chakra. It is a stimulating and vibrant hue that symbolizes the chakra’s effects on sexuality, closeness, intimacy, creativity, and imagination.

Solar Plexus Chakra Symbol

The Solar plexus chakra is called “Manipura,” which means “lustrous gem.” The Manipura chakra is responsible for our ability to follow our true path without being distracted. It’s responsible for creativity, intelligence, ego, curiosity, and clarity of mind.

The location of the Manipura chakra is in the Solar Plexus area, just above the navel.

The representation of the Solar plexus chakra symbol is associated with the fire element and the sun.

The ten petals of the solar plexus chakra symbolize the ten pranas that are within us: Prana, Apana, Udana, Vyana, Samana, Naga, Kurma, Devadatta, Krikala, and Dhananjay.

The inverted triangle symbolizes the act of redirecting vital force downwards through the chakras to impede the flow of Kundalini.

The yellow color symbolizes our inner Light, which is connected to our self-esteem, confidence, and self-respect.

Heart Chakra Symbol

The Heart chakra is the fourth chakra located in the center of the body. In Sanskrit, the heart chakra is called Anahata, which means an unharmed, spiritual place where past resentment and experiences cannot hurt us anymore.

Anahata chakra is linked to the air element.

Located in the center of the chest, the Anahata chakra connects our physical and spiritual nature by connecting the three lower chakras (Root, Sacral, and Solar Plexus chakras) with the three higher chakras (Throat, Third Eye, and Crown chakra).

The Heart chakra is represented by a twelve-petalled lotus. Each lotus petal is symbolic of twelve special qualities: love, joy, balance, intelligence, sympathy, mercy, serenity, lucidity, sensitivity, cleanliness, tenderness, and absolution.

The six-pointed star is a symbol of the harmony created when masculine and feminine energies come together. It is depicted as two overlapping triangles, one facing up and one down, combining to form the star shape. This balance of the male and female essences creates the star.

The hexagram is a symbol composed of two triangles, which symbolize how the heart chakra works to link the energy system together.

The green color of the chakra symbolizes our capability to extend, acquire, and cure, helping us to part with hurt and sorrow.

Throat Chakra Symbol

The Vishuddha, otherwise known as the throat chakra, is closely correlated with the capacity for self-expression and communication. When this chakra is blocked, it can have a negative effect on one’s authenticity. Vishuddha is associated with the ether element.

The Throat chakra is represented by the sixteen-petaled lotus. The Sanskrit language has sixteen vowels, which are symbolically represented by the sixteen petals of the lotus. These vowels are gentle and effortless, embodying the lightness of verbal expression.

The inverted triangle is a representation of the power from the lower three chakras, channeled and rotating towards the higher energy centers.

The circular symbol for this chakra includes a white circle. This shape is associated with the full moon, which stands for the process of releasing.

The blue color of Vishuddha is associated with promoting emotional well-being as it is seen to represent tranquillity, honesty, reliability, and wisdom.

Third-Eye Chakra Symbol

Ajna, the third eye chakra, is located at the center of your forehead. This chakra controls and energizes the pineal gland and the nervous system. It also allows us to see things as they really are through our inner vision and wisdom. Therefore, it is often called “the Third Eye.”

A circle with two petals represents the Third eye chakra. The two petals symbolize the seed syllables and the bond connecting the individual with the divine.

The inverted triangle represents an energy channel that is linked to our consciousness and our Higher self. It is seen as a symbol of the activation of the pineal gland.

The indigo color of the Third eye chakra symbolizes spiritual significance and intuition.

Crown Chakra Symbol

The Crown chakra, or Sahasrara, is the 7th chakra located on the top of the head, directly above the top, and outside the dense body. Sahasrara is responsible for our spiritual power, spiritual transformation, spiritual evolution, and enlightenment. It is believed to be the connection between physical and spiritual realms, and a doorway for our spiritual journey.

Sahasrara is represented by a circle with a thousand petals which stands for our connection to the divine and unity with the Universe.

The circle represents the cyclical nature of the Universe and the continuity of energy.

Sahasrara appears in a combination of two colors – violet and white. These vibrant colors shine from the crown of the head, symbolizing illumination and spiritual growth.

Spirituality

8 Warning Signs You’re Falling Into Spiritual Materialism

Published

7 days ago

February 2, 2023

Katya Ki

Walking the spiritual path is a tricky adventure. We are often deceiving ourselves into thinking we are developing spiritually when instead we are strengthening our egocentricity through spiritual techniques. This kind of self-deception is called “spiritual materialism” which is a “toxic” form of spirituality.

In this article, I want to share with you what spiritual materialism is and 8 warning signs you could be practicing it.

What Is Spiritual Materialism?

Spiritual materialism is a term coined by Chögyam Trungpa in his book Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism.

This term is used to describe mistakes spiritual seekers commit which turn the pursuit of spirituality into an ego-building and confusion creating endeavor, based on the idea that ego development is counter to spiritual progress.

Spiritual materialism means making use of spirituality to gratify the desires of the ego.

No matter what the practice or teaching, ego loves to wait in ambush to appropriate spirituality for its own survival and gain.
– Chögyam Trungpa

According to Chögyam Trungpa, spiritual materialism can fall into three categories:

#1: Physical materialism

This form of materialism is based on the belief that possessions can bring release from suffering. However, in fact, they may bring temporary happiness but then more suffering will follow. Or on another level, physical materialism can manifest itself as a belief, “I am rich because I have this or that” or “I am a teacher because I have a diploma.”

#2: Psychological materialism

This category is based on the belief that a particular philosophy, spiritual tradition, belief system, or point of view will bring release from suffering. Therefore, seeking refuge by strongly identifying with a particular religion, tradition, philosophy, political party, or viewpoint, for example, would be a manifestation of psychological materialism. The goal of psychological materialism is to use external concepts, pretexts, and ideas to prove that the ego-driven self exists, which manifests in a particular competitive attitude.

#3: Spiritual materialism

It is based on the belief that a certain temporary state of mind is a refuge from suffering. For example, when you’re using meditation practices to create a peaceful state of mind or using drugs or alcohol to remain in a numbed out or a euphoric state, you are merely heightening the suffering when these states cease. Therefore, attempting to maintain a particular emotional state of mind as an escape from suffering, or constantly pursuing particular emotional states of mind, will actually lead to more long term suffering.

Spiritual materialism is an attachment to the spiritual path as a solid accomplishment or possession. It is said that spiritual materialism is the hardest to overcome. The imagery that is used is that of golden chains; you’re not just in chains, you’re in golden chains. And you love your chains because they’re so beautiful and shiny. But you’re not free. You’re just trapped in a bigger and better trap. The point of spiritual practice is to become free, not to build a trap that may have the appearance of a mansion but is still a prison.
– M. Caplan

Spiritual Ego

We all need to realize that nobody is immune to spiritual materialism. As long as we have the ego, we are living on the edge. And no matter how spiritually developed you think you are, there is a tricky ego trap for each “level” of development.

Most of us have a delusional idea that the spiritual path is always steady and secure. It is only later that we begin to realize that the spiritual path is very slippery and you have to maintain balance and constant awareness not to fall into old “traps”. The thing is that the more we learn theoretically about spirituality without applying it to our everyday lives, the more likely we develop the spiritual ego in our beliefs.

Like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, the spiritual ego can hide behind judgment, spiritual dogma, or even a false sense of moral superiority over others. And this could be very dangerous for our spiritual development since it can blind us and prevent us from doing the necessary deeper spiritual work we need for inner growth and self-healing.

It’s hard to see our ego and therefore it’s hard to control it. Buddhist say that in the war of ego the loser always wins. Which makes complete sense to me. The second you realized you overcame your ego, you have fallen into its trap. Therefore, the best way you can deal with your ego is by observing it. It is by observing that you can learn how to take control of your ego.

8 Signs You Could Be Practicing Spiritual Materialism

The most important part of shadow work is taking an honest look at ourselves no matter how hard and painful it could be. Let’s take a look at 8 signs of spiritual materialism and determine which ones could be describing us.

Sign #1: Spiritual Superficiality

Modern forms of spirituality and therapy are often accused of selling superficial and sunny answers to life’s complexity and pain. Spirituality isn’t about protecting ourselves from real-life challenges. Any philosophy that is based on the belief that thinking positively always protects us from suffering and emotional pain, or that there is something wrong with you if you suffer or fail, is offering superficial promises.

Sign #2: Spiritual Elitism

Spiritual elitism is based on using spiritual ‘achievements’ or ‘gifts’ to disconnect from and feel superior to others. If you find yourself becoming unbearably profound, feeling that you are somehow different from others and destined for sainthood, perhaps you are suffering from grandiosity.

Our desire to be special can be manifested in many different self-aggrandizement ways, like:

Claiming to have “special access” to spirit guides, Ascended Masters, angels, spirits, etc.;
Claiming to be the reincarnation of a guru, superior being, a famous spiritual historical figure, etc.;
Claiming to figure out all the world mysteries, conspiracy theories, governments’ secrets, etc.;
Claiming access to special and exclusive spiritual knowledge that others can’t access.

In order to overcome this trap, ask yourself: “Do I really need to prove my specialness by using different titles (like lightworker, Starseed, etc.), the memories (or fantasies) about my past incarnations, etc.?”

Sign #3: Spiritual Shopping Obsession

Do you find yourself habitually buying spiritual trinkets/tools/items or accumulating the blessings and initiations from sages, shamans, saints, etc.? Does having spiritual items make you feel more “special,” “awakened,” “aligned” or spiritually worthy. If so, you could be practicing spiritual materialism!

The truth is all those endless workshops, tools, trinkets, and techniques which all promise to make you a wiser, more intuitive, more blissful, more “spiritual” person, are designed for distracting your attention from profound spiritual practice. You see, in order to follow your spiritual path you don’t need to “look” or “feel” spiritual. All you need is already inside you.

Sign #4: Entertaining Spirituality

This is a common trap many seekers get into. Instead of enjoying the blessings of everyday life, you seek after entertaining spirituality and supernatural experiences like angelic visitations, seeing visions, meeting UFOs, spirit guides, Ascended Masters, beings from other planets and dimensions, etc. All these supernatural experiences can be a part of your spiritual journey. However, if they are your main focus, you could be practicing entertaining spirituality.

Sign #5: Ripping Off the Traditions

Many modern seekers skim off the ritual trappings of a tradition with little respect for the depth behind it. This attitude trivializes powerful spiritual systems that often demand years of study. It is so important to be committed to your spiritual practice and realize the difference between carefully creating a spiritual path that includes genuine practices from a variety of traditions, rather than flitting from flower to flower like a drunken honey bee.

Sign #6: Power Abuse

Another sign of spiritual materialism is the disparity between spiritual teachings and the behavior of teachers. These are the things to be wary of:

extravagant claims of enlightenment or healing;
minimizing the hard work that accompanies any true spiritual or healing path;
excessive commercialism that betrays the deeper spiritual message;
blind adherence of followers.

With their deceitful double standards, some gurus, healers, and spiritual teachers have given mentorship a bad name and tarnished the image of humbling oneself to wiser and more experienced spiritual guides.

Sign #7: Spiritual Narcissism

The spiritual narcissist unconsciously believes he/she is more “awakened” than others and will do anything to reinforce that “specialness” including harming others through arrogance and forcing his/her beliefs on them. They also use spiritual jargon that you can relate to when recruiting their victims. A spiritual narcissist will make you think that you have a special gift or that you are their soul mate when in a real sense they are grooming you for the abuse.

Do you always back your desires with only those spiritual facts that suit you? Then, you could be developing spiritual narcissism. Be mindful when you purposely omit those facts that don’t advance your course.

There is a thin line between narcissism and “following your bliss.” Be aware of your tendency toward excessive self-centeredness even as you work to heal and love your own tender self.

Sign #8: Future Obsession

Do you believe that if you do certain spiritual practices or chant certain mantra you will get to a special elevated state of consciousness in the future? Well, there is nothing wrong with this belief unless you become so possessed with your future achievements that you stop living in the present moment. If you become too obsessed with your future and stop recognizing the fundamental ego-centricity of this obsession, you could be stuck in another spiritual materialism trap!

The Bottom Line

The spiritual path can be a truly joyous and satisfying journey of self-realization. It quickly becomes very clear to anyone who has spent significant time on their journey that the path is riddled with many obstacles and traps designed specifically for the ego.

Have you found yourself saying “They are Asleep”, “I am Awake” or any other self-proclaimed statements of spiritual achievement in comparison to others? This type of comparison can be the first of many dangerous behaviors that can lead a hopeful spiritual student down a path of despair, spiritual degradation, and unfortunate suffering.

True spiritual development is almost always a long and arduous journey that spans many years and lifetimes. Maintaining a high level of compassion and humility along with a strong desire to serve can be a very helpful tool to ensure one keeps their ego in check.

Abundant Living

Abundance Haircuts In February 2023: Good And Bad Days To Cut Your Hair

Published

1 week ago

January 31, 2023

Katya Ki

Abundance Haircuts In December 2021 Image

Abundance Haircuts is a sutra based on the Tibetan calendar. It reveals the negative consequences of cutting your hair on the bad days and the incredible benefits of cutting it on the good days. Dates of Abundance Haircuts are calculated according to extremely complex formulas by experienced Feng Shui Masters.

Most people in the Western world have never heard about abundance haircuts. While for Eastern people, it’s not a new practice. This article will share this powerful sutra and give you a calendar for abundance haircuts in February 2023, with good and bad days for haircuts. Pay attention to what day you’re picking for your next hair appointment – only choose good days for abundance haircuts in February 2023.

Why Is Hair So Important?

Since ancient times, people have given hair a sacred meaning. It was thought that people could connect with the Universe through one’s hair. Hair serves as an “antenna” and “guide” between our world and the world of Heaven. And so far, this knowledge has not lost its relevance. Hair connects us with Higher forces, cosmic energy, God, and Higher consciousness. By connecting through the hair to the Cosmos, we can fill ourselves with the energies of abundance and health.

Good Days to Cut Your Hair In April 2021 Image

There were many beliefs associated with hair; some of them have survived to the present day. For example: in any case, you should not get a haircut by yourself, as in this case, deformation of your energy field may happen, which can lead to health problems and energy loss. It is also not recommended to get a haircut on the days of a lunar or solar Eclipse: the hair can suffer, weaken, and lose shine and volume.

What Are “Abundance Haircuts”?

It has long been known that there are days when it is especially favorable to cut hair. Among these days, there are days of “Abundance haircuts.”

Abundance haircuts are a special ritual to attract abundance flows into your life. It is good to say abundance affirmations and mantras on this day. So you will strengthen the ritual haircut and make it a more effective and efficient force.

Here are examples of the mantras:

For wealth and abundance: OM TARE TUTTARE TURE MAMA BASU PUSHTIM KURU SOHA
Mantra for vitality and life force increase: OM TARE TUTTARE TURE MARITSE YE TSE BHRUM NRI DZA SOHA
For fame, power, and charisma: OM TARE TUTTARE TURE BODHI CITTA SOHA
Mantra for health and longevity: OM TARE TUTTARE TURE MAMA AYUR PUNYE JNANA PUSHTIM KURU YE SOHA
For magnetism and attractiveness: OM TARE TAM SOHA

If you are not a mantra practitioner, you can use affirmations instead.