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Personal Development

Toxic Relationship: Go from Crash & Burn to Learn & Grow!

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Intoxicating or TOXIC?

By definition, a toxic relationship is where one or more people exhibit unhealthy behavior and lack mutual respect for each other. Extreme toxic relationships can be mentally, emotionally, and physically harmful, but not all toxic relationships are abusive.

And on the flipside, there are healthy relationships tethered to love. Now, love comes in all forms and means something different to each and every one of us. However, it is HOW we LOVE and ALLOW OURSELVES to be LOVED that are the key differentiators between a toxic relationship and a healthy one.

For example, what we think may be EXCITING (intoxicating) in a relationship may actually be an extremely detrimental dynamic that is perpetuating our toxic love orbit.

We form so many different layers of connections and commitments in one lifetime – from lovers – to friendships, and with family members and co-workers.

For this specific article, I will focus on the relationship you have with your romantic partner (but, not the extreme of physical abuse in regard to toxic relationships). If you are in the midst of a physically abusive relationship, please seek professional help or contact your local authorities.

OK, let’s dive in! 

Is Your Soul Tank on Empty?

What happens when you realize the love you once thought was fueling your soul tank, is actually holding you back or worse yet – detrimental to your self-esteem, success, daily happiness, and overall well-being?

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Don’t give up—instead, change your mindset and pivot!

In this article, I will help you identify which direction your very own love orbit is floating and how to realign with your greater good. You will also gain simple strategies on how to move out of the “toxic zone” and into the kind of relationship that serves your higher good – instead of crushing your soul!

Let’s Start with Relationship Red Flags.

First, I’d like to call out some positive attributes in a relationship that include excitement (butterflies), curiosity, inspiration, and motivation. These can all be amazing experiences in any relationship – FOR SURE!

BUT, what happens when these feelings are offset by stomach pangs, jealousy, insecurity and downright spinning anxiety keeping you up at night? You know, that burning sensation in your solar plexus when you hear that person’s ringtone or text coming in—UGH!

These are the pesky “Red Flags” that we often ignore because we have the aforementioned positive experiences. And quite frankly— we may have blinders on!

Sometimes love is in fact blind. But, I believe that it’s not always the love for the other person that this saying is about.

Instead, what if the blinders are actually our own walls preventing us from SEEING OURSELVES— truly, madly, deeply— to delve into:

  • Who we really are?
  • What we ultimately want?
  • What we truly deserve?

With that said, occasionally we can even hide out in certain relationships and it feels safe under all of this drama.

Can you relate to any of this?

Sometimes it’s easier to feel these other emotions (that end up distracting us from dealing with our own stuff). But, in the end, this will be the demise of the very relationship that is shielding us from ourselves.

Or even worse, make us feel trapped in something that we are not completely fulfilled in.

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So, please do not— I repeat, don’t ignore these Red Flags, as these are the bane of a very unhealthy relationship – one that is inhibiting you from connecting to your true self and aligning with your soul’s purpose to learn and grow.

So, how do you really know if you’re in a toxic relationship?

Here are 20 signs to help you gauge your relationship toxicity-level.

You Experience:

  1. Negative Energy
  2. Despair
  3. Insecurity
  4. Consistent Hurt
  5. Feeling Rejected (emotionally, physically or both)
  6. Lack of Communication
  7. Playing the Blame Game Often
  8. Feeling Bad About Yourself
  9. Infidelity (either side or both)
  10. Control Issues
  11. Empty Promises
  12. Feeling Undervalued and Underappreciated
  13. Daily Fear
  14. Feeling Unsafe
  15. Lying about your relationship to others
  16. Feeling Stuck
  17. Passive Aggressive Behavior
  18. Self Esteem depleted
  19. Feel like the parent in the relationship
  20. Avoiding Each Other (includes physically or verbally)

Please note that you may have just a few of these experiences in your relationship, but it is truly up to you on what your absolute “deal breakers” are, based on the frequency and level of unhealthy behaviors.

However, if you experience a majority of the above, you may want to reevaluate your relationship. And, ultimately decide if you are ready to move on so you can create “space” for a more satisfying and healthy partnership.

Either way, the ONE KEY COMPONENT to understand in any relationship is that you cannot change the other person.

So, what can you do?

Well, you can (and must) take control over your own thoughts, emotions, and actions.

Which leads us to my top suggestions on how you can start changing your relationship script!

Change Your Relationship Script

6 Steps to Happy & Healthy

#1

Practice Awareness & Take Responsibility

Start right now! Awareness of self and what’s really going on in the relationship is paramount. Please always remember that you are in the driver’s seat and have the CHOICE each and every day to move out of victim mode and into big and beautiful empowerment!

#2

Drop the Codependency & Fix the Fixer in You!

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This is referring to the “need to be needed” trap – aka codependency created in a relationship. This also includes the wounded-bird syndrome, and going after the “emotionally unavailable” person – all of which are the perfect formula for a toxic relationship!

#3

Practice Self-Love & Up-Level Your Self-Value

You must tend to your own roots before you can merge with someone else’s life. Please remember that you were born into this world from love & light. Don’t lose sight of that fundamental truth. No matter what is happening in the relationship, you set your own value. Your partner does not define you-you define you.

#4

Learn & From Each Other

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The cornerstone of any healthy relationship is to learn, laugh, love and grow together. In a relationship, you choose to merge your lives together. With that, please remember the importance of encouraging, supporting and bringing out the best in each other (not changing each other). And, navigate life’s challenges as a team – united.

#5

Learn to Say No & Set Healthy Boundaries

This concept is so important when creating and maintaining a non-toxic relationship. Now, it’s not the same as issuing threats or ultimatums. Healthy boundaries are any limits that need to be set and honored so that you can love without resentment and with integrity. Push through the fear of rejection or judgment and find your voice!

#6

Communicate Authentically

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Relationships most certainly require hard work, passion, compromise, and dedication to sustain and flourish. However, the backbone to any relationship is open, honest, empathic and respectful communication. Don’t expect the other person to be a mind reader – speak your truth.

Transform Toxic into Intoxicating!

Please know that you have the power to transform a soul-crushing, toxic relationship into whatever your heart (and soul) desires. Realize that everything in life is a reflection of the perspective you hold about it, so if you see the glass as half empty – Change It Up and Reclaim Your Life!

Remember that YOU ARE MORE – more than you think. Once you identify what is broken in your relationship, you have the choice to change your situation. You can shift your mindset —peel back the layers and identify your relationship “deal breakers ”. Then, go deep within and find your courage, confidence, and clarity on your next steps.

Once you clear out the toxicity, you will allow space for a healthy and kick-ass relationship (either with this person or someone else). Either way, please stay true to yourself and trust the process on your journey!

Nina is the founder of Change It Up, LLC. and AGFS Foundation, Inc. She has a BA in communications and is a certified professional, personal, and confidence coach, as well as a mindfulness practitioner. In her previous career she led massive production, creative, and strategic teams for global Fortune 500 companies as an executive producer and an adult learning expert. Through her diverse career journey, she found that her greatest gifts and passion reside in her connections with people. She is happiest when she’s sharing her experiences and strategies to inspire and motivate others to achieve greater success and experience more daily joy.

Personal Development

Emotional Healing From Narcissistic Abuse: Start Living Again

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Are you starting to rebuild your self-worth after a prolonged narcissistic abuse? First, congratulations! It takes lots of courage to do so. Not all victims experience emotional healing from narcissistic abuse. Besides, unless you consciously seek emotional healing from narcissistic abuse, you can quickly turn from being a victim to a perpetrator. So, where do you start?

Call the Abuse for What It Is

The first step toward emotional healing from narcissistic abuse is to put a label to the abuse you went through. Call it out for what it is!

When you have been a victim of narcissistic abuse, acknowledge what happened, to start your healing process. Remember, narcissists will do all they can to prevent you from dealing with this hurt. Hence, the second step.

Detach Yourself from the Narcissist

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Sometimes a narcissist creates an environment that is not conducive for emotional healing. Since they see their actions as fair, they will try as much as possible to convince you that what they did to you is okay.

Moreover, as long as you are in this toxic environment, it will be almost impossible to heal from the abuse. Hence, change your surroundings.

For example, you can start by deleting their links from all your social media profiles. You can also block them from texting or calling you.

Similarly, if you can physically get away from this person, then here are a few ideas you can use:

  • First, take a weekend vacation away from an abusive partner.
  • Secondly, request for a job transfer from a narcissist boss.
  • Thirdly, switch classes to another teacher.

In other words, do all that it takes to separate yourself from the source of the abuse. 

Set Clear Boundaries

Emotional Healing From Narcissistic Abuse Clear Boundaries Image

Do you still trust the person who inflicted pain on you? How often do you make independent decisions about yourself? Narcissistic abuse often happens when one has total trust in the perpetrator.

The victim puts his/her guard down, allowing the abuser to inflict pain on them. Hence, start setting clear boundaries about what is and is not acceptable to you. Let the narcissist know when they cross these boundaries and demand a change in their behavior.

If need be, seek assistance from someone that you both trust and respect.

Detoxify

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Living with a narcissist has a long-term emotional drain on the victims. This drain is particularly hard on empaths who tend to absorb all negative energy coming their way as their own. Hence, as part of the healing process, you need to cleanse your energy and mind first.

You can achieve this through meditation, using crystals for healing, full body massage, and other relaxation techniques. Get in touch with nature and let its positive energy impact on you once again.

Forgive Yourself

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Now that you can separate yourself from the abuse and the abuser, what do we mean when we talk about emotional healing from narcissistic abuse?

Often, as a victim of narcissistic abuse, you may blame yourself for what happened to you. It’s understandable to feel that way. Still, don’t dwell too much on self-pity and hate. Note that you are an ordinary person who did all you could to protect yourself.

Since the narcissist is a natural manipulator, your efforts may not have been adequate to shield you from harm. He/she may have used your traits against you. It’s okay. It was not your fault. Hence, learn to forgive yourself.

Besides, now you know the games narcissists play. Plan not to be a victim in the future.

Take Responsibility

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Once you have acknowledged the abuse, and forgiven yourself, take responsibility for what you may have overlooked. Despite being a victim, deep down in your heart, you may have ignored that feeling that kept reminding you something was not right.

Take a step back and think of the series of events that led to the abuse. Was there anything you would have done differently? 

For example, did you feel that this is not the person you want to marry, and despite your parents’ advice against it, you still went ahead with the wedding? Or, did you cheer on the narcissist because he/she was showering you with expensive gifts?

Learn from these mistakes and promise not to do them again.

Focus on the Future

Emotional Healing From Narcissistic Abuse Clear Boundaries Bright Future Image

You made it through the narcissistic abuse. Now, get back to planning your future. This step is essential in helping you detach with your painful past. Do this by dedicating quality time to self-improvement.

Dream again!

Start your day with some uplifting quotes or positive affirmations! Save up for that long summer vacation that your partner never wanted you to go. Go back to school and refresh or learn a new skill. Love yourself.

Help Others through Their Healing Process

One other way to attain emotional healing from narcissistic abuse is by helping other victims heal from their wounds. This way, you’ll get to share your experience and discuss ways of coping as a group.

Take part in group meditation and therapy sessions. Be conscious of what is happening around you and swing to action whenever you need to.

Conclusion

Emotional healing from a narcissistic abuse may seem impossible, especially if you’ve been going through it for so long that you lost touch with reality. Still, you can always start your journey to recovery even now. Start by acknowledging that you are a victim and keep off from the narcissist. I hope these tips will help you know what to do to make your healing process successful. Use these tips also to avoid a similar narcissistic abuse in the future.

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Personal Development

How To Tap Into Psychic Abilities: The Most Effective Tips

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There is a belief that our ancient ancestors could feel the approach of an enemy or dangerous beast at a distance and predict certain events. Physically, people are weaker than wild animals, therefore highly developed intuition was an important condition for survival back in the day. Today, many scientists recognize the existence of psychics and even hold the strong belief that with strong intention and sufficient effort, anyone can develop psychic abilities. If you are interested in reading other people’s thoughts, predicting the future, this article was written for you! I’ll share with you very effective tips on how to tap into psychic abilities.

Is It Dangerous to Develop Psychic Abilities?

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Some people can recognize their psychic abilities from early childhood. Others have to spend a lot of time training in order to see tangible results. However, exercises for the development of psychic abilities can sometimes be dangerous for mental health. We are surrounded by many different beings hidden from the eyes of ordinary people. When you begin to train your psychic abilities, be ready to see these beings. Some of them are quite terrible and vile, so before you embark on the path of clairvoyance, think about whether it will withstand your psyche, whether you can keep your consciousness in a balanced state. You also need to learn how to protect yourself.

Another danger you may face is seeing visions of your past or future. These visions can be pretty scary and you need to learn how to stay balanced and not allow these visions to destroy your peace.

Psychic abilities will also force you to see people’s “true faces”. And sometimes it’s not a pleasant experience. You may see how your friends betray you behind your back or say negative things about you. In this case, you need to learn to forgive and let it go. If you will take this too personally you will eventually lose all your friends. You need to accept the fact that we all make mistakes, we all gossip or saying things behind other people’s backs that we are not supposed to be saying but it doesn’t mean that we don’t love these people and don’t wish them well. Therefore we just need to learn how not to take things personally, especially if the recognition of these things comes from your psychic abilities.

Most Effective Tips On How To Tap Into Psychic Abilities

How to Feel the Aura?

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Each person is surrounded by an energy field. In order to predict the future or feel the energy of people, learn to feel and understand your own energy first. Therefore the very first tip on how to tap into psychic abilities is learning how to feel the aura.

Almost every person has experienced a feeling of negative energy coming from another person. For example, you are sitting next to a person who is depressed, stressed, and anxious. In a couple of minutes, most people would start feeling this negativity and also get infected with a bad mood. It happens because in such a situation your biofield would be reconfigured and synchronized with the person’s biofield. Therefore it’s so important to develop the feeling of your own aura because in this case, you would be able to consciously control your energy field.

Exercise

This simple exercise will help you learn how to feel the boundaries of your energy field and, also feel the changes that happen when you are letting someone into it.

Spread your arms out to the sides as far as you can. This is the approximate boundaries of your energy field. Pulling your hands forward in front of you, you will work like a magnet. Use the same exercise mentally when the other person is sitting in front of you to develop the sensitivity of this magnet. Try to tune in to the person’s energy wave to feel his/her energy.

How to See the Aura?

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It is not difficult to learn to see the etheric bodies of animals and people. All you need is a little patience. This exercise is suitable for those who are just starting to take the first steps towards the development of psychic abilities.

To perform it you will need a partner. The training is held in a dark room, the arms of the second participant should be bare. Ask your partner to stand with his/her back to the wall. You have to stand sideways to him/her at a distance of three feet.

Next, you need to take a deep breath ten times and look at the edge of the partner’s arm with lateral vision. If the result is successful, you will see his/her aura. If it did not work – after 5-10 minutes, repeat the above steps.

How to Develop Clairvoyance?

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Another tip on how to tap into psychic abilities is to develop clairvoyance.

To see the events that already occurred or those that will occur at a certain time is possible with the help of the backside of your eyelids – it’s your own psychic monitor. If you are a beginner, the following exercise will help you.

Sit down so that it is comfortable, close your eyes. Relax, stay completely still. Look at everything that appears on the back side of your eyelids. Imagine that you are in a movie theater and expect to see a movie. At first, you will see blurred lines and outlines. Pay attention to how they change, where they move.

A little later you will be in a state of a kind of hypnotic sleep. After about 20 minutes there will appear clearer images in front of your closed eyes. With persistent daily training, you will be seeing clearer pictures and get answers from your subconscious to any questions.

How to Develop Telepathy?

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Anyone can develop telepathy with the help of special exercises. The only condition is that these exercises should be performed regularly.

For performing this exercise, you will need the help of two or three friends.

On a blank sheet of paper, you need to draw three shapes that are easy to remember – a circle, a square, a rectangle, a star, etc. Choose one of the shapes, close your eyes and try to visualize it clearly. After it “pops” in front of your closed eyes, you need to inform the other participants about its appearance with some kind of code word, for example, “holding”.

Next, your friends have to say the first word that comes to mind. This is the essence of telepathy. Then you switch roles for this exercise.

To prevent deception of the selected figure make sure to mark the shape and after the completion of the exercise, you need to show it to other participants.

When the result of guessing will be 90 percent or more, you can move on to other more complex exercises. For example, you go to another room, the others decide what you need to do when you return back (to sit on a chair, to turn off the light, to wipe the table, etc.) without telling you what they decided. The moment you enter the room, participants need to visualize what they want you to do.

How to Develop Telekinesis?

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Another tip on how to tap into psychic abilities is to develop telekinesis.

Everyone can master the ability to move objects at a distance if there is sufficient desire and effort. To do this, it is necessary to master the skills of increasing the energy flow and direct it through energy channels, which are actively used in various Eastern practices.

Important notice: You should not perform this exercise until you learn to relax and accumulate energy. Regular meditation can help with this.

First, rub the palms, feel the energy heat, mentally direct it to your arms, feet, to your head. After mastering this skill, prepare a small piece of paper and a match. Take a deep bowl, pour water, drip vegetable oil, and place a match on top of the oil. Bring your hands closer to the match, try to feel it at a distance. Try to hook the object with the energy flow and move it in the desired direction.

How to Develop Prophetic Dreams?

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This is one of the best ways to predict the future as the brain at this time is devoid of thoughts about work and every-day problems, so it can very effectively interact with your energy field.

For developing the ability to see prophetic dreams try to get rid of all unnecessary thoughts before going to bed and think about what you want to see in your dreams. Focus on the question you seek to be answered. This will help to develop your ability to see prophetic dreams.

Don’t rush to give an interpretation to everything you see in your dreams. Give yourself time to observe information that you have received from your dreams. Sometimes the answers can be pretty clear but most people see certain symbols and signs in their dreams. Our dreams are very symbolic and our goal is to learn how to interpret these dreams right. The best way to figure out the symbology that your subconscious mind uses is to write down your dreams in your dream journal every morning.

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Lucid dreaming is another powerful tool to tap into prophetic dreams and reveal the unknown facets of your potential.

Example of Prophetic Dreams Experience

One friend of mine was practicing this technique every time she was going to pass an exam. A night before the exam she was focusing on the process of passing the exam. She asked her subconscious a question: “What question is the examiner going to ask me?” or “What questions are going to be included in my test tomorrow?”. And she fell asleep after that. In the morning she already knew what topics she needed to repeat before her exam because she saw the exact questions she was going to get! She wasn’t a psychic but she was simply using the power of her subconscious mind and always got the information right!

Meditation

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It is very important for everyone to learn concentration and focus. The fewer vain thoughts we have in our heads, the easier it is to find answers to the questions about the future or any other information. Meditation is a great tool for this! Moreover, I can assure you that without meditation it is impossible to learn how to tap into psychic abilities.

There are different types of meditation you can use:

  1. Kundalini Meditation;
  2. Zen Meditation;
  3. Walking Meditation;
  4. Tantric Meditation;
  5. Guided Meditation; etc.

If you have never meditated you may find it useful to check out my article “Meditations For Beginners: Best Ways To Start Your Practice”.

Every person is very unique and has to find the right type of meditation which suits him/her the best!

How to Choose a Mentor?

You can learn how to tap into psychic abilities faster by signing up for special courses or becoming a student of a real psychic. Experienced teachers have strong energy, they will share their knowledge and experience, prompt the most effective methods and practices. It is important to avoid frauds who will manipulate your mind and take as much money from you as he/she can.

It’s not too difficult to recognize the true psychic. He/she will not talk much but will demonstrate his/her skills as soon as he/she has a chance.

Frauds usually talk a lot about how superb their psychic abilities are and how many people they’ve helped. As a rule, their services are pretty expensive, but for the money you pay, you will not receive anything but disappointment. Why? Well simply because they can’t teach you what they haven’t mastered themselves. And when you’ll tell them that you still don’t feel like you have any psychic abilities after training with them all they can do is to force you to buy some additional books, courses or services from them.

Therefore, choose wisely! Sometimes it’s best to do it yourself than to sponsor some fraud that may do more damage than good.

Conclusion

Psychic abilities are a gift that can help you overcome difficult situations, find answers to the most important questions, and improve the quality of your life. In one way or another, all people have it, and if desired, everyone can develop the ability of clairvoyance, telepathy, telekinesis, and even healing. Listen to your intuition, be patient believe in yourself, practice every day, and then after a while, you will be able to tap into psychic abilities!

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Awareness

9 Most Effective Tips On How To Lucid Dream Easily

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How To Lucid Dream Image

When you fall asleep tonight, you most likely will have a dream. But what if you could “Wake up” in this dream and realize that you are still asleep? Lucid dreaming is a strange and exciting phenomenon that allows you to be fully conscious while you sleep and to control all events, people and yourself within the dream. In this article, I will share with you 9 of the most effective tips on how to lucid dream easily. Also, I’ll explain to you how you can easily recognize that you’re dreaming. Are you excited? Me too! Let’s get it started!

What Are Lucid Dreams?

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Lucid dreaming is an altered state of consciousness in which you are aware that you are dreaming and can control the content of the dream in one way or another. This is a kind of borderline state between REM sleep and wakefulness.

Lucid dreaming can begin either during normal sleep when you eventually realize that you are sleeping, or directly from a state of wakefulness without temporary loss of awareness.

Some people reach the state where they experience sleep paralysis. For some people, it happens spontaneously and usually when their sleep is very sensitive.

In the process of lucid dreaming, it is possible to simulate any situations that are impossible in everyday life. From this point of view, a lucid dream can be seen as a virtual reality, where there are no restrictions. In this dream, you can meet famous people, easily cook dinner for 5000 people, ride a giant tarantula or participate in the Hunger Games. You have your dream under control, and you can do whatever you want in there.

In addition, those people who have learned the practice of lucid dreaming, are able to get a psychotherapeutic effect from this practice. Thus, having learned the confident management of actions and events in a lucid dream, you have the opportunity to transfer a sense of confidence in your daily life (for example, to get rid of some fears or phobias).

How To Lucid Dream?

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Lucid dreaming is not a natural gift, but a trained ability. Of course, some people are naturally more prone to this ability than others. Usually, children can practice lucid dreaming easily. But then as time goes by they forget about this ability and stop practicing it. But the good news is that every person can train this ability and start practicing lucid dreaming regularly. Some people gain this ability fast, others need more time. It all depends on the individual. No matter what category you belong to you need to be persistent and keep trying until you succeed! Trust me, it worth your effort!

First, it wasn’t easy for me to lucid dream at all! Though I had pretty bright dreams that I could easily memorize I still wasn’t able to stay lucid in my dreams. But I had a very strong desire to succeed in my practice and I knew all about the benefits that lucid dreaming can give to me. I’ve been studying this subject a lot and religiously was trying all the methods I could find. Now I’m happy to share with you 9 tips that helped me to start lucid dreaming and stay 100% conscious in my dreams. You can try all of them or maybe pick a couple of these tips that resonate with you the most. But what really helped me was the combining of different methods.

9 Tips On How To Lucid Dream

1 – Dream Diary

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This is what I’ve started with! I created a dream diary and started writing down all my dreams in details in it. I placed it next to the bed, along with a pen, so I could write down all my dreams right after waking up or sometimes even in the middle of the night.

According to scientific research, the habit of writing down your dreams will increase your chances of having lucid dreams. Moreover, the mere thought that you are going to write down your dreams can help raise your awareness in your dream.

Write down all the dreams that you remember, whether they are interesting or not, clear or foggy.

If you can’t remember the whole dream, write down only what you remember, even if it’s just a face, a place, a phrase, or something else.

Write down everything you remember from your dream right after you wake up (even if you wake up in the middle of the night!). The longer you wait, the more you forget.

Stay in bed when you’re writing down your dreams to increase the likelihood of remembering them.

2 – ‘Wake-Back-to-Bed’ Technique

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This is the easiest way to quickly get into a lucid dream!

Its essence: set the alarm two hours earlier than your usual wake up time. For example, you usually wake up at 7 a.m., then set the alarm to 5 a.m. Wake up at 5 a.m. be sure to get up and stay up for 15 minutes (get up and use the bathroom, or brush your teeth, for example). Then go to sleep for those two hours that you have not slept.

In fact, this method has scientific justification. In the morning we usually have most of our dreams, so we have a bigger chance to get into a lucid dream.

3 – Fix Your Attention On Your Hands

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This is another effective method on how to lucid dream easily! During the day fix your attention on your hands, peering into them. Try to look at your hands as often as you can remember while you’re awake. Eventually, you will see your hands in your dream, but in your dream, they will change their appearance. This is how you’ll know you’re asleep. From that moment on, the control of the dream will begin!

4 – Ask Yourself The Question “Am I Asleep Or Awake?”

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Constantly ask yourself the question: “Am I asleep or awake?” and make checking actions. For example, pinch yourself or look at yourself in the mirror. If you won’t be able to recognize yourself in the mirror, you’re asleep.

When I started using this method I put reminding notes with this question all around my house, my purse, on my computer and my phone. So every time I saw these notes I could remember to ask myself this question. And, you know, it really helped! Eventually, I looked at myself in the mirror and couldn’t recognize myself. I looked so much different than I usually look that I immediately realized that I was dreaming.

5 – Set The Intention

On a piece of paper write down the following intention: “Tonight I’m lucid in my dreams” and put this note under your pillow.

6 – Observation Of The Images

When you’re falling asleep try to see the emerging images in front of your closed eyes and focus your attention on them. Imagine how you’re zooming in on them and try to see more and more details of these images.

7 – Attentive Listening

When you’re falling asleep try to hear the noise in your head and make it louder and louder.

8: Visualization And Meditation

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Use visualization or meditation before going to bed. Many experts on lucid dreaming recommend visualizing what you dream about before you go to sleep. Vividly visualize your dreams right before bedtime, and you will have a big chance to have a dream about it. Meditation will help you to relax and get into the “blank slate” at the moment of falling asleep.

9: Vitamin B

Increase your intake of vitamin B6. According to preliminary studies, vitamin B6 can increase the brightness of your dreams and help you to memorize them better.

12 Ways To Recognize That You’re Lucid Dreaming

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Lucid dreams feel so real that usually, it’s hard to understand if you’re dreaming or awake. Therefore the main question that arises in a person who wants to be lucid in a dream is: “How do I recognize that this is a dream?”.

Here are 12 ways to recognize that you’re lucid dreaming:

  • Try to close your mouth and nose. If you’re still able to breathe, then you are in a dream.
  • Look 2-3 times at the clock with a dial. If the time changes unnaturally fast, then you are in a dream.
  • Try to read anything twice – if the text changes, then you are in a dream.
  • Look 2-3 times at anything that contains certain information. If the information changes then you’re in a dream.
  • Try to remember the previous minute of your life. If you are unable to do so, you are most likely asleep.
  • Take a long look at your hands. If you’re dreaming then your hands will start changing their appearance.
  • Try to turn on or turn off the light in the room with a switch. In a dream, the switch may not work or produce a strange effect when, for example, the light is on, but it is still dark.
  • Take a long look at yourself in the mirror. Usually, the reflection in the mirror is modified in a dream.
  • Look at any text. If the text is very blurred, then you are most likely in a dream.
  • Try to change something with your will power. If you can change, let’s say the day to night with just your will power, then you’re dreaming.
  • Look closely at the appearance of a person from your constant environment (for example, a colleague, family member or friend). In the dream, his/her appearance may be unnaturally distorted or even have the appearance of another person from the same environment.
  • In a dream, distant movements are instantaneous. If you notice it, you can understand that it is a dream. For example, if you are driving the car somewhere, the monotonous road will be skipped if you’re dreaming.

How To Stay Conscious?

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There are certain techniques of staying conscious in a dream, allowing to extend the period of lucid dreaming. For example, at the first signs of weakening attention, begin to closely examine the details of the dream, not concentrating on just one object. Or periodically remind yourself aloud that you are dreaming.

The Bottom Line

The phenomenon of lucid dreaming has not yet been studied enough by modern medicine and psychology but is already used for psychotherapeutic purposes as an extension of the tools of psychoanalysis, along with the usual interpretation of dreams. By staying lucid in your dreams you will discover limitless possibilities of using this state for self-development, letting go of your fears and manifesting your desired reality!

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