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Personal Development

Why Healthy Boundaries Are Essential For Our Liberation

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Boundaries are an essential part of life. Regardless of a person’s background, gender, race, financial status, and level of awareness; poor boundaries are a common theme in those who struggle with symptoms of depression, anxiety, and disempowerment. Assisting a client in developing insight into their personal boundaries leads to much awareness as to how they relate to themselves and the world at large.

Developing awareness about the underlying belief systems that influence current boundaries and learning to establish healthy boundaries from increased discernment are both pivotal to transformation. It is important to recognize where one ends and another begins and to take the time to make choices that are in alignment with one’s truth.

Liberation from taking on external expectations and finding balance with the heart’s desire are the gateway to healthy boundaries which lead to conscious relating. 

What Are Boundaries?

In the traditional sense, boundaries can be defined as lines that mark the limits of an area. In some ways that can be interpreted as dividers or even shields. In this context, boundaries are that which differentiates us from anything that is external and non-organic to our heart’s truth. They help us recognize our own needs versus that of others or versus the many shoulds that we identify with.

Healthy boundaries assist us in remaining true to our intuition and help us define who we truly are and not who we think we should be. Boundaries are the ones that remove the emphasis from what we can expect from others because we are clear in what we can expect from ourselves.

Boundaries can be a measure of a person’s self-worth and they can also be an empowering means to rectify any self-deprecation. They assist us in showing up in the world with overflow rather than from exhaustion. They are the tools with which we practice assertiveness, self-acceptance, and, most of all, increased trust. 

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Boundaries are multi-faceted and far from simple; they need to be approached by everyone with great scrutiny for them to be understood. Healthy boundaries are not cultivated overnight and like most things in life, they are also fluid and rely on the meeting of each moment with full presence. They heed significant self-awareness, authentic communication not just with the external world but with the self. 

Boundaries in one regard call forth the respect of one’s physical space and body, they can also speak of the reverence that should be held for the privacy of another or to repeating the story of another.

Boundaries can also be called forth in business relations and when there is responsibility for another. For example, in the realm of service and energy work. Intuits, empaths, healers all have to learn to hold boundaries not just of what they take on but also of what they read into.

In Native American cultures, it was known to be rude to look into someone’s personal lodge when walking by – the same rings true in reading the energetic field of another without permission. Just because you can, doesn’t mean should. 

Boundaries come up in all relationships – regardless of the labels. Boundaries supersede all entitlement and all expectations – instead, they invite authentic communication as well as incite profound awareness. As mentioned, they can be broken down and looked at through endless scenarios that range from interpersonal relationships, professional spheres as well as the multi-dimensional energetic realms that bear much influence on all and yet are seldom considered or recognized.

Where Lies the Distortion?

Emotional Healing From Narcissistic Abuse Clear Boundaries Image

We all navigate our lives based on the social and cultural principles in which we were born into. Since before our toddler years, we are offered cues as to what is right and what is wrong. We are shown how to conduct ourselves for a sense of approval and we tend to learn how to dismiss or hide our feelings in light of supporting an expectation of us. This severs us from trusting our intuition and we replace that with logic and a controlled outcome.  The implications of what is right or wrong supersede the individual need which often leads to harbored resentment, unfulfilling relationships, displays of power struggle, and other various forms of dissatisfaction

These forms are often projected unto another and create a perpetual cycle of feeling victimized by life. Without boundaries, one often places all blame on circumstances rather than taking accountability for the role played. It is often that blame is placed on another. However, we forget that we cannot expect from another what we are not willing to stand for within ourselves. 

Poor boundaries model a narcissistic and codependent dynamic. They can be toxic – lead to power struggles and manipulation. They can also lead to cognitive distortions. For example, people-pleasers tend to feel objectified by others and commanding personalities are often resentful that they “have” to hold all the responsibility. It is often the case that the intentions are good but the boundaries are poor. Obligation, expectation, demands, guilt, fear are all on the list when explaining how the “wrong” thing is done for the “right” reasons.   

Where Do We Go From Here?

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In this day of age, it is a disservice to all to walk through the world afraid of embracing who we truly are. It is imperative to feel worthy enough to walk in integrity. The clarity that we have within offers greater clarity to the world at large. We indeed are the micro to the macro. It is rather obvious that the world needs to be remedied and as I have always expressed this stems from the seed that is each individual. 

Boundaries are a crucial starting point. They do not beget separation as one may assume; instead, they invite unconditional self-love which ultimately can translate into authentic intimacy as we learn to be accountable for ourselves.

Healthy boundaries hold space for the complexities of each person without projection or personal offense. They are a complete re-education of the self that challenges outdated belief systems that are confining and only serve to keep us in separation from ourselves and therefore each other.

It takes great valor to stand up for our truths in every moment. These truths are often found beyond what society has orchestrated as right, safe, and appropriate for us. The programs run deep and yet our liberation is not sustainable if we don’t have the courage to discern what is truly ours and what is not.  

We are all our own compass and we are not meant to be defined by another. Our sovereignty is our birthright and there has been much imprinted on us that keeps us from experiencing this. In order for conscious relating to unfold; awareness of self, including our actions, our responses, and our programs is needed. Only then can we see ourselves, have the courage to share who we are with another, and ultimately live from our truth and not in dilution. A full-body yes is ever so worth it.

About Ishtar

Ishtar is a psychotherapist (LCSW) who earned her masters’ degree from New York University in 2006. She is also a KRI certified Kundalini Yoga instructor; licensed in 2013 at Goldenbridge, New York City. Prior to this training, in 2008 she experienced what she coins as divine remembrance and has spent the last 13 years in service to others as a wayshower in the ascension process. As a Christed pillar of light embodying the solar crystalline frequencies; she carries the codes of gnosis and sacred transformation. Ishtar is a Rose priestess of cosmic lineage and holds a multidimensional awareness that guides clients from all walks of life into divine union. Currently, she resides with her daughter Ixchel Inanna in the city New York and remains committed to activating divine remembrance through a myriad of sacred tools.  ​

About Luminous Magik

Luminous Magik practice focuses on traditional integrative psychotherapy infused with an array of healing modalities intuitively tailored to your specific needs. The sessions can include Kundalini yoga and Meditation, Energetic Alignments, Light Language, Shadow Work, Ancestral Clearing, Womb Activations & Cosmic Coding. For more information, visit Ishtar’s website luminousmagik.com.

Ishtar is a psychotherapist (LCSW) who earned her masters’ degree from New York University in 2006. She is also a KRI certified Kundalini Yoga instructor; licensed in 2013 at Goldenbridge, New York City. Prior to this training, in 2008 she experienced what she coins as divine remembrance and has spent the last 13 years in service to others as a wayshower in the ascension process. As a Christed pillar of light embodying the solar crystalline frequencies; she carries the codes of gnosis and sacred transformation. Ishtar is a Rose priestess of cosmic lineage and holds a multidimensional awareness that guides clients from all walks of life into divine union. Currently, she resides with her daughter Ixchel Inanna in the city New York and remains committed to activating divine remembrance through a myriad of sacred tools. ​

Personal Development

The Flower of Life: The Meaning & Symbolism

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The Flower of life is seen every day on jewelry, wall art, altars, etc. It is a two-dimensional geometrical illustration composed of 19 overlapping circles of the same size. The overlapping circles are perfectly arranged to form what look like flower petals. The image starts with two overlapping circles before the rest are added on.

If it was possible to imagine perfection, it could be done through the Flower of Life. It is this symbol that perfectly represents the mechanism by which the universe works.

Leonardo Da Vinci and The Flower of Life

Many ancient-time artists have been fascinated by this symbol. One whose interest and works stand out is Leonardo Da Vinci, who was majorly interested in it for its mathematical implications.

Leonardo was a fanatic of geometry. It is not difficult to see why he was impressed by the Flower of life; it was very much in line with things that caught his attention. Most of his artwork also has aspects of sacred geometry in it.

One of Da Vinci’s famous works, the Vitruvian man, was inspired by the Flower. The Vitruvian man is shown to have multiple limbs, which are believed to imitate the Flower’s pattern of life.

The Significance of Flower of Life

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When we see it on our jewelry or as wall art, we are impressed by its beauty. However, the significance of the Flower of life goes beyond its elegance. This Flower signifies that everything originates from one primary source. The geometric pattern is sacred and depicts profound spiritual growth and enlightenment.

Many religions hold on to the belief that God created life. He is the higher being, the giver, and the taker of life. For some, God is a divine being, while for others, God is the universe. However, like all 19 circles in the Flower beginning from a single dot, God is the source of life.

The Flower also shows how all aspects of our lives are connected. The pattern shows that all aspects of life are rooted in a geometric plan with an origin in nature. The 19 circles in the Flower are perfectly arranged to create a six-fold symmetry, resulting in borderline hypnotic. Many spiritual practitioners use this pattern for their meditation, and you can also learn to apply it to your spiritual practices.

The Flower and the Origin of Life

The pattern of the Flower of life can be seen in different aspects of nature, such as real-time flower petals. This is evidence of how intentional the creation was. It shows that everything originates from a higher being, both people and nature.

The Flower also shows how everything originates from one source and expands its wings to the universe. If you look at the pattern carefully, you will notice the repetitiveness. This aspect represents the interconnectedness of life and the planet’s existence as a whole. And for the repetitiveness to occur, the first circle has to happen, which signifies the source. 

In real life, the source is the Divine creator.

Symbols such as vesica piscis show this repetitiveness and a sole source aspect. This symbol evolves from the seed of life, which then graduates to become the Flower of life. These are the ultimate building blocks of life and our entire existence.

The Flower is universal. Even if you are not a believer in higher power and beings or divine creators, the Flower of life still shows how it is deeply rooted in biology and science.

The Benefits

Many ancient civilizations, including the Egyptian and ancient Rome, have applied this symbol in different ways. You, too, can tap in to explore what it brings to life. These are some of its benefits that can transform your life.

#1: Reminds us of unity

We consider the Flower of life the most significant symbol of harmony and unity. This symbol has no beginning or end, unlike many other symbols. You can incorporate this into your spiritual journey.

When we get into a journey, we often forget our goals and fall back. For instance, if you start doing yoga today, tapping into the energy of the Flower of life can help keep the cycle going. To achieve the best, you need to keep that consistency going. The never-ending cycle of the Flower of life can help you keep pushing even if the barriers become overwhelming.

#2: Supports our sacred space

You can use the symbol to create a peaceful space for integrating the body and mind. Consider such a space where you go back over and over to find yourself. You can use that space to manifest yourself to your full potential. 

The Flower of life will help you stay in serenity for longer. The unified circles will forever remind you of the quietude that comes with the circle of love and success. 

#3: Can be used for meditation

flower of life meditation image

 Many people have trouble focusing their attention while trying to meditate. The Flower of life can help you focus on the moment and take your meditation practice to the next level.

One way people do this is to gaze at the flower of life painting hanging on the wall as they meditate. However, as you gaze at it, ensure you’re relaxed. Besides, gaze at more than just a specific fixed point. Breathe in and out gently to ensure your lower lungs are filled with air

These meditation techniques will help keep distractions at bay. If you are distracted, feel free to run back and focus on the Flower of life. This meditation can be very successful for people mesmerized by the beauty of the Flower of life.

Many people have also improved their focus while drawing the Flower of life. You can draw it as a form of mediation to help expand your awareness.

The Bottom Line

The Flower Of Life is one of the most fascinating symbols of Sacred Geometry. It represents a perfect order and the cyclicity that occurs in our lives. Use this symbol as a talisman to always remember balance and beauty, as well as to ensure a harmonious flow of energy.

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Personal Development

What is Ego Death? How and Why Does It Happen?

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Humans associate death with darkness, sorrow, and pain. It is just something many people are scared of. However, ego death goes the opposite way. The death of your ego comes with enlightenment, self-exploration, and going beyond the glass ceiling.

In simpler terms, the ego is the sense of self typically developed in earlier ages. It is a biological tool that helps us understand ourselves as separate beings. The problem appears when the ego takes on a level of programming that begins to impede the quality of life we live. This is why many people believe it needs to die.

But first:

What is Ego Death?

Many people think that ego death happens when we strip ourselves of the ego and live without it. No, the ego cannot die. What happens is that it becomes submissive to the awareness and direction of our higher selves so that it no longer controls our lives. The experience temporarily and instantaneously goes beyond and above our identities. By shifting your awareness above the perspective of the ego, you begin to realize that you are not the things you have identified with before.

The death of your ego comes with much self-awakening and peace; you want to experience it. It is one of the most beautiful experiences you could have if you truly understand your spiritual path. Such an experience, however, may feel horrific for people who do not understand their spiritual path or people who resist the experience.

Why Seek It?

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People are now going out of their way to experience ego death. It has become part of the spiritual journey for many people.

Here are some reasons to seek an ego death experience:

#1: Improved self-control

People often think that ego death is just for people unsatisfied with their mental wellness. Even if you are confident with your state, its demise can change your perception, eventually leading you to much clarity and success.

#2: Easier time breaking even

Our perception and identification limit us from going to other levels. Our ego keeps us in a mindset that limits us. It may feel like we are living in an unknown shell. Detaching yourself from the ego or shrinking it will allow you to crush your current sense of self that limits your abilities.

#3: Acquire a new you

We often have a rigid way of identifying ourselves. You will easily break even if you realize you differ from the sum of the labels you previously put on yourself. You will be in a much more powerful position to question things you believe in and go out of your way to seek peace and clarity. It is an excellent tool for breaking world constructs such as race or religion, which are often deeply rooted in mind and consciousness.

Stages of Ego Death

The death of the ego is different for everyone. This all starts from the triggers of the first stages and later the intense stages before you fully settle into the awakening. The first triggers may differ, but as the experience progresses, the stages become identical.

 Here are the stages you will most likely go through:

Stage 1: Spiritual awakening

The ego is deeply rooted in your spiritual being. The first step is your awakening from the ego’s power over you.

Stage 2: Dark night of the soul

In this second stage, you seek to understand things. This is after you accept the awakening that comes with the first stage. This stage is characterized by questioning things that now appear different from what they did before. It can be a confusing stage as many things now start revealing themselves to you.

Stage 3: Exploration and curiosity

In the third stage, you explore more to fill the void in your soul and being. This stage allows you to live in a space of more peace and enlightenment.

Stage 4: Soul growth and enlightenment

This stage allows you to settle in your newly found peace and awakening. Here, you have explored yourself profoundly and now know more about your true self. You will realize that you have already let go of many of your old patterns and habits. This stage has no fighting and battling with your ego, as you already have your new true identity.

How to Achieve Ego Death?

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You need to understand some things before you seek to kill your ego. For instance, why do you want to experience it? Understand that a spiritual ego is not something casual. You want to go in entirely understanding why you want to do it and the consequences of taking the path.

Many people intentionally seek ego death. Deliberately seeking it can be dangerous; proceed with caution. Ensure you are ready for it before you dive right in. If you are sure of your intentions, you can take the paths that lead to the death of your ego.

With all this imperatively said and done, you can proceed and trigger an ego death. Here are some of the ways people do it:

  • Attending spiritual retreats and workshops that guide you through it;
  • Performing specific types of breathing exercises and meditation practices;
  • Following the teachings of spiritual teachers rooted in spiritual awakening;
  • Entering altered states of consciousness, which may involve meditation, dancing, chanting, and other mystical paths; 
  • Getting involved in mystical, spiritual traditions that offer pathways to ego death.      

What Does the Death of Ego Feel Like? 

You might want to know what ego death feels like before you go for it. Your feelings will definitely be intense. It may feel horrific or exciting, or an alternation between the two. People often experience both extremes while undergoing this death.

What Next? 

After an ego death comes rebirth. A new you will be born with no barriers that limit your journey and abilities. Such death powerfully awakens the mind making your life change forever.

Ego death is not the end of spiritual awakening but rather a new beginning of deeper purpose and meaning.

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Personal Development

Self-limiting Beliefs: How to Overcome Fear and Break Our Limitations

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Earlier in life, I was always afraid of senior career positions. I used to apply for junior and entry-level jobs even after many years of employment because I didn’t believe I could handle the senior ranks. Yet each time a senior position became vacant, I was the first person the boss would contact. They saw my potential, but I could never see it because of my self-limiting beliefs. 

Eventually, I would find a reason to decline the promotion. What are you struggling with?

Believe it or not, we all battle with self-limiting beliefs. Are you fearful of signing up for that mortgage because you’re so scared you might not pay it fully? Or is committing to a relationship an uphill task for you?

In this article, I will discuss this fear within us and share practical tips for overcoming these self-limiting beliefs. 

What are Self-limiting Beliefs?

Fact: There are no limits to what you can achieve except for the limits you set in your mind. And this is what sets humans apart. Some people become iconic leaders while others amass massive wealth, yet some still struggle in life. This is one way of looking at it. For you and me, think of the small challenges you encounter in life. Are you truly incapable of handling them, or are you just afraid of trying and failing? 

Self-limiting beliefs are self-developed thoughts, consciously or subconsciously, that we use to convince ourselves that we can’t do something because we are afraid of failing or getting hurt. Consequently, we don’t even allow ourselves to try. Such limiting thoughts are one of the biggest preventers of achieving our goals. And that’s why we need to learn to control and eventually overcome them. So how do we do that?

Practical Steps to Overcome Self-limiting Beliefs

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#1: Identify Your Limiting Belief(s)

What are you so afraid of and why? 

  • Are you scared of getting married because your father abused your mom? 
  • Are you afraid of getting kids because your parents abandoned you when you were little? 
  • Are you afraid of management positions at work because you feel voiceless?

Identifying your self-made limits is your first step to overcoming them. You will need to use your intelligence and accept vulnerability, more like healing your inner child.

#2: Work On Your Confidence

There are several ways to develop self-confidence. The easiest is the use of positive affirmations. The idea is to re-condition your mind into believing what you had otherwise categorized as impossible. You could also apply the law of attraction. Anything you focus your mind on without a shred of doubt eventually comes to be. If you constantly think about boldness, confidence, and assertion, you eventually become bolder, more confident, and more assertive.  

Self-confidence enables us to move out of our comfort zone. We are no longer afraid to try because we believe in our potential. And even if you fail, you believe you can win tomorrow. Besides, you become your own cheerleader and no longer seek approval from others. That’s how powerful we become when we are confident from the inside.  

#3: Set New Goals

Be realistic and set achievable targets. However, always have one clear goal at all times that you’re working towards. That goal should be the most significant on your list. Also, note that big goals are good, but they can demotivate you. Divide these goals into smaller tasks that you can easily achieve. 

For every achievement, your mind registers a win and naturally handles the next task with ease. This way, you find yourself accomplishing tasks you never imagined were possible and consequently become unstoppable in achieving your lifelong dreams. 

#4: Challenge Your Thoughts

Why do you give yourself bad labels such as “I am stupid, slow, worthless, ugly, useless,” etc.? Is it because someone in your past called you that? Did they really have a solid basis to give you that label? How well do they know you? Have they seen the woman or man you have become lately? 

Asking your inner self such questions helps you to look at the other side of the coin. For example, just because my skin has acne doesn’t mean I’m ugly. It’s just one of the many stages in life. And just because I have mobility challenges doesn’t mean I am useless. I still have the brain and hands to write my next bestseller. Challenge your thoughts, whether good or bad, and you will realize that not every gospel you hear is factual. 

#5: Develop an Alternative Plan

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We don’t have control over our limiting beliefs because they provide a soft fallback. We don’t take risks because we fear getting hurt or hurting others. Say, for example, you’re afraid of getting kids because you’re scared you’ll never be a good mom. Instead of dwelling on being single for the rest of your life, how about you start accommodating other kids in your home and see how well you nurture them? 

You can request your siblings or friends to drop off their toddlers over the weekend and dedicate your energy to looking after them just as if they were your own. After a few months, your natural motherly instincts will start to kick in, and who knows, you might start looking at kids differently. 

If you’re afraid of public speaking because you feel invisible or you’re afraid your voice is not good enough, how about you start by recording podcasts?

Or, if you constantly feel worthless, how about starting a small project that gives you a sense of belonging? Like donating your coffee to a homeless person every morning. Or helping an elderly neighbor water their flowers every weekend. 

The Bottom Line

It’s very easy to develop self-limiting beliefs, especially with a rough childhood or a traumatic past. Our mind is constantly working to protect our fragile ego from getting hurt again. However, the sooner you realize how much you have been missing in your quest to play safe, the sooner you need to break these limiting thoughts and redefine yourself. Your potential starts and ends in your mind. Dare to dream again and develop unshakable confidence because only you can do it. 

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