Are you starting to rebuild your self-worth after a prolonged narcissistic abuse? First, congratulations! It takes lots of courage to do so. Not all victims experience emotional healing from narcissistic abuse. Besides, unless you consciously seek emotional healing from narcissistic abuse, you can quickly turn from being a victim to a perpetrator. So, where do you start?
Call the Abuse for What It Is
The first step toward emotional healing from narcissistic abuse is to put a label to the abuse you went through. Call it out for what it is!
When you have been a victim of narcissistic abuse, acknowledge what happened, to start your healing process. Remember, narcissists will do all they can to prevent you from dealing with this hurt. Hence, the second step.
Detach Yourself from the Narcissist
Sometimes a narcissist creates an environment that is not conducive for emotional healing. Since they see their actions as fair, they will try as much as possible to convince you that what they did to you is okay.
Moreover, as long as you are in this toxic environment, it will be almost impossible to heal from the abuse. Hence, change your surroundings.
For example, you can start by deleting their links from all your social media profiles. You can also block them from texting or calling you.
Similarly, if you can physically get away from this person, then here are a few ideas you can use:
- First, take a weekend vacation away from an abusive partner.
- Secondly, request for a job transfer from a narcissist boss.
- Thirdly, switch classes to another teacher.
In other words, do all that it takes to separate yourself from the source of the abuse.
Set Clear Boundaries
Do you still trust the person who inflicted pain on you? How often do you make independent decisions about yourself? Narcissistic abuse often happens when one has total trust in the perpetrator.
The victim puts his/her guard down, allowing the abuser to inflict pain on them. Hence, start setting clear boundaries about what is and is not acceptable to you. Let the narcissist know when they cross these boundaries and demand a change in their behavior.
If need be, seek assistance from someone that you both trust and respect.
Living with a narcissist has a long-term emotional drain on the victims. This drain is particularly hard on empaths who tend to absorb all negative energy coming their way as their own. Hence, as part of the healing process, you need to cleanse your energy and mind first.
Now that you can separate yourself from the abuse and the abuser, what do we mean when we talk about emotional healing from narcissistic abuse?
Often, as a victim of narcissistic abuse, you may blame yourself for what happened to you. It’s understandable to feel that way. Still, don’t dwell too much on self-pity and hate. Note that you are an ordinary person who did all you could to protect yourself.
Since the narcissist is a natural manipulator, your efforts may not have been adequate to shield you from harm. He/she may have used your traits against you. It’s okay. It was not your fault. Hence, learn to forgive yourself.
Besides, now you know the games narcissists play. Plan not to be a victim in the future.
Once you have acknowledged the abuse, and forgiven yourself, take responsibility for what you may have overlooked. Despite being a victim, deep down in your heart, you may have ignored that feeling that kept reminding you something was not right.
Take a step back and think of the series of events that led to the abuse. Was there anything you would have done differently?
For example, did you feel that this is not the person you want to marry, and despite your parents’ advice against it, you still went ahead with the wedding? Or, did you cheer on the narcissist because he/she was showering you with expensive gifts?
Learn from these mistakes and promise not to do them again.
Focus on the Future
You made it through the narcissistic abuse. Now, get back to planning your future. This step is essential in helping you detach with your painful past. Do this by dedicating quality time to self-improvement.
Start your day with some uplifting quotes or positive affirmations! Save up for that long summer vacation that your partner never wanted you to go. Go back to school and refresh or learn a new skill. Love yourself.
Help Others through Their Healing Process
One other way to attain emotional healing from narcissistic abuse is by helping other victims heal from their wounds. This way, you’ll get to share your experience and discuss ways of coping as a group.
Emotional healing from a narcissistic abuse may seem impossible, especially if you’ve been going through it for so long that you lost touch with reality. Still, you can always start your journey to recovery even now. Start by acknowledging that you are a victim and keep off from the narcissist. I hope these tips will help you know what to do to make your healing process successful. Use these tips also to avoid a similar narcissistic abuse in the future.