We, as human beings, are relational in nature because we are all intrinsically connected. For healthy relationship connections, we want to be able to relate and achieve cohesive and synergistic relationships, whether it’s romantic, platonic, business or casual.
How we choose to communicate and relate with ourselves and others is one of the most important factors in life. Our relationship with ourselves determines how we relate to others and how pleasant our interactions are with our companions, friends, employers, employees and virtually every relationship in your life you hold.
In this article, I’m going to give you some useful tips and practical communication hacks that you can put to use. As you practice these tips, watch your relationships be enhanced on a greater level than ever before.
Tip #1: Self Talk
This is crucial because your internal dialogue dictates your external expressions. It’s important that you affirm positive, upbeat and encouraging thoughts to yourself. You will be much more likely to reflect this to others as well. Most people naturally respond more positively when you yourself are positive, self-assured and friendly. Your conversation with yourself should be gentle, loving and supportive. When you treat yourself this way it sets an example and reflecting how you would like to be treated.
Tip #2: Be Present
We have a tendency to get distracted, consumed or checked out. Being present with your partner and the people in your life will deepen your connection and level of awareness and will help you prepare for effective and meaningful communication.
To be present means listening with the intent to understand not to reply. Being present means putting your technology and other tasks aside while you are in conversation. If you’re not able to do this, take time to communicate that you desire to be fully present and reconvene your conversation when you can give your undivided attention.
Being present can also mean showing up to support your loved one’s dreams and aspirations. There are many ways you can express presence. It takes practice and diligence to be present with yourself and others.
Tip #3: Be Considerate and Kind
Being considerate of others goes a long way. People will usually appreciate personal consideration. There are also a variety of ways to show consideration and kindness to those you relate closely with on a consistent basis: refrain from using harsh language. Choose your words wisely. Refrain from blame and judgment. Be accountable and dependable. Follow through on your intentions with action. Use positive affirming language. Take the initiative to settle disputes and disagreements. By doing this you have more of a likelihood of setting a tone for the energy exchange that you would like to see in your conversations.
Tip #4: Set Clear Boundaries
It’s vital that you set healthy boundaries for yourself with others. By setting boundaries you ensure relationships are mutually respectful and caring.
Healthy self-esteem will echo that you deserve to be treated well. Let your actions speak for you, not your words. Say thank you with no apology, regret or shame. Protect your time – don’t over commit. Say yes to help. Ask for space when you need it. Agree to come back to the center when difficult times arise. Never assume or guess what others are thinking. Engage with clear communication by asking pertinent questions to help you innerstand what others may be trying to convey. Respond with calm and assertive energy.
Tip #5: Release The Need To Be Right
Don’t allow your desire to prove a point or be right to override your ability to allow others to be right. Choose your battles wisely. Discern if it’s worth your precious time and energy to react, explain or justify your position. Releasing the need to be right makes room for peace of mind and increases your maturity levels. It’s not always important to prove a point. At the end of the day, your peace of mind and warm heart matters most.
Tip #6: Speak Your Truth
Sharing how you feel and what’s real for you may be scary. Every time you hold back your truth you make your fear more important than love.
You can communicate and express your truth with grace and clarity. Speaking your truth does not equate to being rude or disrespectful in any way, in fact, it’s completely the opposite.
Reach a level of innerstanding that doesn’t falter or run at the first sign of relationship malfunction or uncomfortable disagreements. Carry your heart gently through those tough moments and be gentle with the heart of others. Learn to remove the blindfolds and see your relationships in all the light they have to offer and acknowledge the light they have yet to offer. Gain such a level of innerstanding that you obtain access to more enlightened and supportive communication. Free yourself of any restraints or restrictions you may have had from past relationships that you witnessed or were a part of.
Stand in your power and truth, remove your masks and bring your whole self.
Tip #7: Learn how to embrace vulnerability
Being vulnerable means your comfortable opening up to others, it means you care deeply about things.
Vulnerability means you are content with the spectrum of your emotions and that you have a clear understanding of who you are as a person.
Instead of suppressing your emotions you are able to express them fully.
Admitting when you’re upset, hurt, afraid, or feeling alone instead of trying to appear strong when you may be crumbling inside.
When you have the courage to be vulnerable it transforms the way in which we relate to others and how we show up in our lives.
Being vulnerable can be tough when we’re terrified about what people might see or think.
Be careful about attaching your self worth to what others opinions are or your ability to produce or earn.
When we are fueled by the fear of what people think we end up hustling for our worthiness rather than standing in it.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Take ownership of your mistakes.
People tend to connect deeper with those who have an open heart and willingness to share their own fragilities.
Tip #8: Be Authentic
This goes hand in hand with being vulnerable.
Most of the time we are afraid of being authentic and real because we spend so much time creating masks and facades to protect the image that our egos have created.
When you are authentic in your expressions you release the need for approval from others.
Being authentic requires courage and fearlessness.
Ignore Cynics.
Transparency and honesty make you vulnerable, embody these traits anyway.
Being authentic will radiate more pure energy rather than trying to be something you think others will approve of.
Don’t underestimate the quality of authenticity it can transmute uncertainty and enhance the lines of communication.
Tip #9: Nurture Your Relationships
Relationships require attention they don’t just blossom on their own they require water and food to bloom. Set a strong foundation of truth, there lies a fertile ground. Connect in with your relationships consistently. This could mean a phone call, a letter, an email, a visit, a date, tea time or a favored returned. Develop reciprocity in your relationships. Feed where you’re being fed. Be discerning about where you give your energy and time. Make sure that the other person involved is also a source of support for you.
Tip #10: Be willing to do better
One of my favorite quotes is: “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” ~ Maya Angelou
Having a genuine desire to evolve yourself on all levels will only deepen your relationships.
Don’t underestimate the small acts of kindness.
Make a commitment to your personal growth and you will certainly see the difference in your relationships and the quality of your connections.