We, as human beings, are relational in nature because we are all intrinsically connected. For healthy relationship connections, we want to be able to relate and achieve cohesive and synergistic relationships, whether it’s romantic, platonic, business or casual.
How we choose to communicate and relate with ourselves and others is one of the most important factors in life. Our relationship with ourselves determines how we relate to others and how pleasant our interactions are with our companions, friends, employers, employees and virtually every relationship in your life you hold.
In this article, I’m going to give you some useful tips and practical communication hacks that you can put to use. As you practice these tips, watch your relationships be enhanced on a greater level than ever before.
Tip #1: Self Talk
This is crucial because your internal dialogue dictates your external expressions. It’s important that you affirm positive, upbeat and encouraging thoughts to yourself. You will be much more likely to reflect this to others as well. Most people naturally respond more positively when you yourself are positive, self-assured and friendly. Your conversation with yourself should be gentle, loving and supportive. When you treat yourself this way it sets an example and reflecting how you would like to be treated.
Tip #2: Be Present
We have a tendency to get distracted, consumed or checked out. Being present with your partner and the people in your life will deepen your connection and level of awareness and will help you prepare for effective and meaningful communication.
To be present means listening with the intent to understand not to reply. Being present means putting your technology and other tasks aside while you are in conversation. If you’re not able to do this, take time to communicate that you desire to be fully present and reconvene your conversation when you can give your undivided attention.
Being present can also mean showing up to support your loved one’s dreams and aspirations. There are many ways you can express presence. It takes practice and diligence to be present with yourself and others.
Tip #3: Be Considerate and Kind
Being considerate of others goes a long way. People will usually appreciate personal consideration. There are also a variety of ways to show consideration and kindness to those you relate closely with on a consistent basis: refrain from using harsh language. Choose your words wisely. Refrain from blame and judgment. Be accountable and dependable. Follow through on your intentions with action. Use positive affirming language. Take the initiative to settle disputes and disagreements. By doing this you have more of a likelihood of setting a tone for the energy exchange that you would like to see in your conversations.
Tip #4: Set Clear Boundaries
It’s vital that you set healthy boundaries for yourself with others. By setting boundaries you ensure relationships are mutually respectful and caring.
Healthy self-esteem will echo that you deserve to be treated well. Let your actions speak for you, not your words. Say thank you with no apology, regret or shame. Protect your time – don’t over commit. Say yes to help. Ask for space when you need it. Agree to come back to the center when difficult times arise. Never assume or guess what others are thinking. Engage with clear communication by asking pertinent questions to help you innerstand what others may be trying to convey. Respond with calm and assertive energy.
Tip #5: Release The Need To Be Right
Don’t allow your desire to prove a point or be right to override your ability to allow others to be right. Choose your battles wisely. Discern if it’s worth your precious time and energy to react, explain or justify your position. Releasing the need to be right makes room for peace of mind and increases your maturity levels. It’s not always important to prove a point. At the end of the day, your peace of mind and warm heart matters most.
Tip #6: Speak Your Truth
You can communicate and express your truth with grace and clarity. Speaking your truth does not equate to being rude or disrespectful in any way, in fact, it’s completely the opposite.
Reach a level of innerstanding that doesn’t falter or run at the first sign of relationship malfunction or uncomfortable disagreements. Carry your heart gently through those tough moments and be gentle with the heart of others. Learn to remove the blindfolds and see your relationships in all the light they have to offer and acknowledge the light they have yet to offer. Gain such a level of innerstanding that you obtain access to more enlightened and supportive communication. Free yourself of any restraints or restrictions you may have had from past relationships that you witnessed or were a part of.
Stand in your power and truth, remove your masks and bring your whole self.
Tip #7: Learn how to embrace vulnerability
Being vulnerable means your comfortable opening up to others, it means you care deeply about things.
Vulnerability means you are content with the spectrum of your emotions and that you have a clear understanding of who you are as a person.
Instead of suppressing your emotions you are able to express them fully.
Admitting when you’re upset, hurt, afraid, or feeling alone instead of trying to appear strong when you may be crumbling inside.
When you have the courage to be vulnerable it transforms the way in which we relate to others and how we show up in our lives.
Being vulnerable can be tough when we’re terrified about what people might see or think.
Be careful about attaching your self worth to what others opinions are or your ability to produce or earn.
When we are fueled by the fear of what people think we end up hustling for our worthiness rather than standing in it.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Take ownership of your mistakes.
People tend to connect deeper with those who have an open heart and willingness to share their own fragilities.
Tip #8: Be Authentic
This goes hand in hand with being vulnerable.
Most of the time we are afraid of being authentic and real because we spend so much time creating masks and facades to protect the image that our egos have created.
When you are authentic in your expressions you release the need for approval from others.
Being authentic requires courage and fearlessness.
Transparency and honesty make you vulnerable, embody these traits anyway.
Being authentic will radiate more pure energy rather than trying to be something you think others will approve of.
Don’t underestimate the quality of authenticity it can transmute uncertainty and enhance the lines of communication.
Tip #9: Nurture Your Relationships
Relationships require attention they don’t just blossom on their own they require water and food to bloom. Set a strong foundation of truth, there lies a fertile ground. Connect in with your relationships consistently. This could mean a phone call, a letter, an email, a visit, a date, tea time or a favored returned. Develop reciprocity in your relationships. Feed where you’re being fed. Be discerning about where you give your energy and time. Make sure that the other person involved is also a source of support for you.
Tip #10: Be willing to do better
One of my favorite quotes is: “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” ~ Maya Angelou
Having a genuine desire to evolve yourself on all levels will only deepen your relationships.
Don’t underestimate the small acts of kindness.
Make a commitment to your personal growth and you will certainly see the difference in your relationships and the quality of your connections.
How To Master Conscious Communication? 8 Effective Tips
In everyday communication, it is not so important how smart, wise or spiritual we are as much as what frequency the communication takes place on. The frequency of communication is influenced by many factors such as the emotions and feelings we express, the words we choose, how we build phrases, our intentions, our energy, mood, and more. In this article, I will share with you what conscious communication is and effective tips you can use to master it!
What Is Conscious Communication?
Conscious communication is a way of talking and listening that is focused on growing strong, mutually enriching relationships.
A key principle of conscious communication is to make it as easy as possible for the other person to satisfy your needs by asking for a specific behavior that will fulfill it.
When people feel vulnerable, they usually often try to compensate for it by becoming demanding and threatening. They are convinced that forcefulness will increase the likelihood of getting what they want. However, this approach usually has the opposite effect, leading to conflict situations and misunderstandings. Some people feel unaccepted. Others feel pressure and violation of personal boundaries. As a rule, such things lead to ruining relationships.
The Secret Of Conscious Communication
So what is the secret of conscious communication?
According to Yogi Bhajan, we need to strive for pure, intuitive communication, without hidden meaning and desire to benefit from dialogue, without trying to convict the interlocutor of falsehood or being wrong. We also need to elevate people around us, to give them a chance to see and be aware of themselves from the outside on their own.
“When you speak unconsciously, you represent your emotions, your feelings, your neuroses, your handicaps, your shortcomings, and your insecurities. When you speak subconsciously, you are a con-person, you are a thief, you are a cheat, you manipulate, you are dishonest. All you want is to win the moment or impress the moment. Such people are never true to a bigger picture; they are never real in their lives. When you speak consciously, that which you speak about happens. When you speak super-consciously from the supreme self of you, that becomes the guiding line for the Universe. Then the akashic record has to move with that angle.” – Yogi Bhajan
8 Tips On Conscious Communication
Tip #1: Practice Self-Observation
Conscious dialogue, first of all, involves observing yourself during the communication process. It includes the understanding of what emotions and feelings are hidden behind each spoken phrase. Moreover, we need to be aware of what exactly motivates us to be involved in this dialogue and what we want to achieve as a result.
All these factors affect our voice tone, facial expressions, and gestures. Therefore, it is very important to monitor the reaction of the body, to feel the emotions that guide us in the process of dialogue.
Tip #2: Keep Emotional Neutrality And Inner Silence
Neutrality does not mean that we need to get rid of feelings, but it means that all our emotional manifestations are under observation. It is like control, not in the sense of “I restrain myself,” but in the sense of “I observe myself from the outside.”
You might notice how radically your speech changes if you conduct a dialogue from the point of irritation and fear. I’m sure you know that feeling of how it is difficult to agree when there are a hidden resistance and unwillingness to compromise.
Therefore, internal neutrality allows not only to say the necessary words but also to monitor everything you say, every influence on the change of the mood of the dialogue.
Tip #3: Be Aware Of What Chakra The Dialogue Is Coming From
Every conversation we have is connected to a certain chakra. This energetical connection is very important since it affects the energy of the whole conversation and your interlocutor can sense it.
If we speak from the first energy center (Muladhara chakra), our speech can be unnecessarily cautious. However, in a state of anger, our speech can be rough.
When we speak from the second energy center (Svadhisthana chakra), our speech is soft, sometimes – sexual.
If we speak from the third energy center (Manipura chakra), the conversation acquires persistence, the effect of pressure.
When we speak from the fourth energy center (Anahata chakra), we present ourselves from the heart. In this case, our words are colored by emotions. Sometimes it prevents us from seeing the objective truth.
If we speak from the fifth energy center (Vishuddha chakra), we sound like diplomats with a structured analytical mindset.
When we speak from the sixth energy center (Ajna chakra), our speech turns into an endless stream. If communication is based on your Third eye chakra it usually brings more truth into conversation. This type of communication is based on intuition and empathy.
Tip #4: Surrender To The Circumstances
The main rule of tantric practices is: to win by surrendering to the situation, circumstances.
Use this rule in communication if there is a dispute. This will help to find the right words, build a dialogue. Release all emotions inside yourself, surrender to circumstances and watch the result.
Meditation is an important assistant in communication. Here we not only calm our emotions, reach a state of neutrality, but also learn to be aware of our space, boundaries, observe our reactions in the process of dialogue.
In this state of balance, communication becomes constructive, and there is a stable ability to timely select the right words and competently build the entire dialogue.
Tip #5: Take Responsibility For Your Feelings
When describing your feelings, choose words that express the sensations you’re experiencing, such as: “I feel sad”, or “I feel frustrated”, or “I feel lonely”, etc. Avoid words that describe you as a victim, such as: “I feel betrayed”, or “I feel rejected”, or “I feel neglected”, etc. These “victimizing” words suggest that someone else is responsible for your feelings. When you take responsibility for your feelings and emotions, you are informing rather than blaming the people.
Tip #6: Keep The Message Positive
Under no circumstances are you required to speak negatively. Make sure that your speech doesn’t sound offensive. Neither should you speak in a way that would be just buttering. Speaking should be neither overdoing nor under-doing nor super-positive nor super-negative.
Keep in mind that communication is just vibration. Therefore, pay attention to what frequency you are vibrating. Keep producing positive vibrations and don’t allow a conversation to turn to in a negative way. A conscious person talks with absolute dignity and faith.
Tip #7: Ask For What You Want
What specific behaviors or actions would fulfill your needs? For instance, if you want more attention from your partner, do not just ask him/her to spend more time with you. Instead, ask him/her to take you for a walk after dinner, or go to a movie on Saturday night. Express your need in the form of a request rather than a demand. Everyone has an inherent impulse to resist demands, whereas our self-esteem goes up when we’re able to fulfill requests.
Although using this process doesn’t guarantee that you’ll always get what you need, it will substantially increase the likelihood that you will spend more time feeling comfortable and at ease and less time in emotional distress.
Tip #8: Be Conscious Of Timing
Timing can make a big difference. Sometimes it can be just as important as how and what you say. For example, it is usually not a good idea to bring up sensitive topics right before a meal when blood sugar is low. It is also not a good idea to bring up issues in the heat of the moment when you or the interlocutor is angry and hurt. It would be a good idea to find a good time for both. This conveys mutual respect and sets the stage for a productive discussion.
Conscious communication is an inner driven focus to grow strong and mutually enriching relationships. Remember that conscious communication includes not just conscious speaking but conscious listening. Like giving and receiving, the effects of how you talk are inseparable from how you listen.
The Spiritual Connection Checklist: 11 Signs You Are Spiritually Connected With Someone
Have you ever met someone who made you feel like you are looking at a mirror image of yourself? That liberating and confident feeling that makes you forget, even for a moment what weighs on your mind when this other person is nearby. Could it be that there is a spiritual connection between you?
How can you tell?
Well, the spiritual bonds between people are more prevalent than you may think. In this article, we’ll share the tale-tell signs of spiritual connections. Let’s get to it!
11 Signs of Spiritual Connection
#1 You Feel Tranquil in Each Other’s Presence or Thoughts
Picture this: You are going through a nervous time and feel the urge to share it with someone. Who comes to your mind? Equally, you are eager about your current situation, but just one touch from this person makes you feel that all will be well.
Most probably, you share a spiritual connection with this soul.
Admittedly, persons sharing a spiritual connection rarely experience that awkward moment when together. Instead, they are comfortable in each other’s presence.
#2 You Withhold Nothing from Each Other
Do you know a person who makes you feel comfortable in your skin? Regardless of how long you’ve been together, both of you seem to know each other inside out, literally. In turn, you find it hard keeping secrets from each other. This other person makes it easy for you to deal with a dark past that you have been avoiding throughout your life. This sign shows that the two of you have a spiritual connection.
#3 Intimacy Beyond Physical Intimacy
Often, when you meet your twin flame, you value your shared rendezvous equally as the sexual life. Hence, sex becomes only one part of the bonding. Others may mention that finding someone who grasps their intellectual outlook is enough or better than sharing a bed every night. For such persons, intimacy is knowing that they can be helpless in each other’s presence and feel safe about it.
#4 Time Flies When You Are Together
Who is that person you find yourself talking to and switching from one topic to another endlessly without any of you getting bored? Furthermore, you always mesmerize yourself how much pour out from your lips or thoughts when you are near this person. It’s almost like he/she taps into that part of your mind that translates your imaginations into flowing words. In turn, you find yourself losing track of time when talking to them.
#5 You Share Some Unique Virtues
When two people have a spiritual bond, they tend to be honest with each other. They listen to each other in an empathic way and have mutual respect’s limits. Furthermore, such a person easily interacts with the other through open and meaningful talks. Hence, if you find it effortless to share such traits with another, chances are you have a spiritual connection with that person.
#6 Have Similar Goals and Expectations
When two persons have similar life goals, they have the same perspective about their future. Hence, they build a sound relationship with solid family values. Moreover, having a spiritual connection makes it effortless to pursue a common goal.
On the contrary, persons who lack such a connection tend to work against each other’s efforts. With time, they find their careers and family life stagnating.
#7 He/She ‘Steals’ Your Thoughts
Persons with a spiritual connection may find that they come up with similar ideas and thoughts. Think about it: You come up with a creative idea. However, before you implement it, the other person will suggest something very similar to it.
Has he/she stolen your grand ideas?
No. It only shows the two of you are spiritually connected. Knowing this fact will save you heartaches and misunderstandings in your relationships.
#8 You Communicate In Silence
Do you have this special someone who you feel can read your mind? He/she says what you are about to say or tends to finish your sentences. Persons with a spiritual connection tend to understand each other’s feelings without uttering a word. Often, they know how they feel about each other but may lack words to define it.
Besides, when something is not right with the other person, they can sense it even when they are miles apart. Such silent communication makes the spiritual connection very special between loved ones. They can comfort each other without interrogating one another.
#9 You Trust Blindly
If ever you find yourself giving into this other person’s advice or ideas without even blinking an eye, you could be spiritually connected. However, being naive should not be confused with a spiritual connection. Assuredly, the spiritual connection removes any doubt you may have about the other person. In turn, you find yourself submitting to him/her.
#10 Laughter in Every Conversation
Yes. You may not be talking about a jovial topic, but you feel your soul smiling back to every word you hear from this other person. It’s almost like the talks make you feel lighter. Hence, you tend to have a familiar sense of humor.
#11 Your Gut Feeling Tells You So
Sometimes, all you need to confirm a spiritual bond with another person is by following your instincts. What does your gut feeling say? Do you feel this is the person who fills the void you’ve been battling with all this time? Does their presence overshadow everything else? Do you see things falling into place with them in the picture? Then, you should trust your intuition on this.
Spiritual connection with another person is a plus in any conscious relationship. Still, whereas you can grow fond of each other, intimacy is no guarantee of a spiritual link between you. Persons relating in husband/wife, child/parent, or boyfriend/girlfriend roles may be tolerating each other to conform to the norms. In contrast, having a deep affinity with another is more profound than this.
It goes beyond the gender and current relationship. Plus, it can be formed or lost with time. Therefore, it’s necessary to know if you have a spiritual connection with someone. That way, you’ll strive towards growing this bond.
How Do Empaths Protect Themselves From Narcissists? Practical Insights and Tips
Relationships can be very complicated. And strangely enough, we don’t always consciously choose the person whom we fall in love with really. It just happens. By nature, empaths have a big heart, while Narcissists, on the contrary, have an annoyingly exaggerated sense of self-importance. It is thus a little bit challenging when these two contrasting personas are in a relationship. So then, how do empaths protect themselves from narcissists? Do they need protection in the first place? In this article, I will take an in-depth look at these two characters and give tips on how to accommodate each other.
Who are Empaths?
If you are an empath, the chances are that you have had an encounter(s) with a narcissist(s). Whether or not the experience was fruitful solely depends on how you interacted with them. Narcissists thrive on making other people feel inferior about themselves.
This could be draining given that empaths are quite the opposite of narcissists – sensitive.
Empaths Character Traits
Before we delve into knowing how empaths protect themselves from narcissists, let’s discuss the traits that define empaths.
The following traits are common among empaths:
- Do you have a problem with boundaries? Empaths tend to worry more about others than themselves. Consequently, it is difficult at times to tell when to open up and let other people into their life and when to shut off negative energy.
- Empaths are easily prone to a nervous breakdown. They feel for everyone, including people who are total strangers to them. Absorbing all these emotions (both happy and sad) can lead to a nervous system meltdown.
- They have intimacy issues. Empaths are quick to connect with other people emotionally. This is a liability especially when it comes to maintaining a relationship with one person. You can unconsciously find yourself emotionally entangled with more than one person.
- Alone time is replenishing. Empaths recharge when they are alone and free from human contact. Absorbing all these emotions can be weary and draining. Alone time allows an empath to decompress and recharge. This is mainly achieved in a serene natural environment setting.
- You have an acute intuition. The gut feeling of an empath is always right most times. I think the ability to feel what the next person is feeling is what contributes to this.
Who are Narcissists?
Beyond knowing how empaths can protect themselves from narcissists, you need to know how to identify a narcissist. It is not hard to identify a narcissist from the crowd. No one person will admit to being grandiose callous and unemotional.
Narcissists Character Traits
Narcissists portray the following characteristics:
- Need for self-admiration. Narcissists crave admiration more than anything else. They will bombard you with statistics and personal achievements to feed their ego. This has the effect of making the other person think lowly of themselves.
- They lack empathy. Narcissists do not show the slightest of emotion towards anything or anyone.
- Feeling entitled. They are arrogant, selfish and think that others are indebted to them.
- They can be manipulative. A narcissist will trick you into doing what they want. Their interests always come first, and they love exploiting others.
- Authoritativeness. Since they believe they are good at everything they do, narcissists have an inflated sense of bossiness.
How Do Empaths Protect Themselves From Narcissists?
Given that they connect quickly, empaths are an easy target to prey on. Do empaths need to protect themselves from narcissists? Yes. Narcissists will not mind that their utterances and actions are hurting others. As a result, such a relationship will only wreck an empath. That said, how do empaths protect themselves from narcissists?
Connecting with nature is the simplest and quickest way for an empath to replenish. Take time to reflect and think about whether or not someone is adding value to you or just exploiting you. This is the only time you can clear your mind and think clearly.
I know this sounds impossible, but there is no other way around it. You need to cut off any ties with narcissists. If you can’t then at least come clean with the person. Narcissists will only drain you of your energy at their pleasure. This might sound selfish at first, but it is for your highest good that you avoid these people.
Do not spend too much time with a person if they exhibit narcissistic behaviors. Take some time off to decompress and gain back the lost energy.
Let Yourself Be
Naturally, you will fall for a narcissist and even get tempted in to ‘helping’ them. Remember, it is not your job to fix everybody. Who will fix you anyway? Sometimes you need to be quite the opposite of what defines you and care for yourself.
Trust Your Intuition
Don’t Take Everything to Heart
Someone might say something insensitive towards you. If you took everything seriously, then you might become a human wreck. Take criticism for what it is without necessarily letting it eat you up. Besides, not everyone will always be helpful to you and expecting that from them is no less than being a narcissist.
Narcissists crave attention. Don’t give it to them. They can and will find someone else to pick on.
The Bottom Line
The truth is that no one is perfect. Well, a narcissist believes otherwise. Don’t be so obsessed with the idea of protecting yourself such that you forget to live and enjoy yourself. You may end up a sad, depressed soul and discover that you are lonely and unhappy when it is already too late to change things. People will always have flaws, and I think that is what completes us in our human nature. Dating a narcissist may be the equivalent of a dangerous dance with the devil, but hey, at least you get to dance in the long run. I hope the above answers the question: how do empaths protect themselves from narcissists. In the end, what counts is whether you found happiness in your relationship.
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