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10 Tips To Help Deepen Relationship Connections

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We, as human beings, are relational in nature because we are all intrinsically connected. For healthy relationship connections, we want to be able to relate and achieve cohesive and synergistic relationships, whether it’s romantic, platonic, business or casual.

How we choose to communicate and relate with ourselves and others is one of the most important factors in life. Our relationship with ourselves determines how we relate to others and how pleasant our interactions are with our companions, friends, employers, employees and virtually every relationship in your life you hold.

In this article, I’m going to give you some useful tips and practical communication hacks that you can put to use. As you practice these tips, watch your relationships be enhanced on a greater level than ever before.

Tip #1: Self Talk

This is crucial because your internal dialogue dictates your external expressions. It’s important that you affirm positive, upbeat and encouraging thoughts to yourself. You will be much more likely to reflect this to others as well. Most people naturally respond more positively when you yourself are positive, self-assured and friendly. Your conversation with yourself should be gentle, loving and supportive. When you treat yourself this way it sets an example and reflecting how you would like to be treated.

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Tip #2: Be Present

We have a tendency to get distracted, consumed or checked out. Being present with your partner and the people in your life will deepen your connection and level of awareness and will help you prepare for effective and meaningful communication.

To be present means listening with the intent to understand not to reply. Being present means putting your technology and other tasks aside while you are in conversation. If you’re not able to do this, take time to communicate that you desire to be fully present and reconvene your conversation when you can give your undivided attention.

Being present can also mean showing up to support your loved one’s dreams and aspirations. There are many ways you can express presence. It takes practice and diligence to be present with yourself and others.

Tip #3: Be Considerate and Kind

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Being considerate of others goes a long way. People will usually appreciate personal consideration. There are also a variety of ways to show consideration and kindness to those you relate closely with on a consistent basis: refrain from using harsh language. Choose your words wisely. Refrain from blame and judgment. Be accountable and dependable. Follow through on your intentions with action. Use positive affirming language. Take the initiative to settle disputes and disagreements. By doing this you have more of a likelihood of setting a tone for the energy exchange that you would like to see in your conversations.

Tip #4: Set Clear Boundaries

It’s vital that you set healthy boundaries for yourself with others. By setting boundaries you ensure relationships are mutually respectful and caring.

Healthy self-esteem will echo that you deserve to be treated well. Let your actions speak for you, not your words. Say thank you with no apology, regret or shame. Protect your time – don’t over commit. Say yes to help. Ask for space when you need it. Agree to come back to the center when difficult times arise. Never assume or guess what others are thinking. Engage with clear communication by asking pertinent questions to help you innerstand what others may be trying to convey. Respond with calm and assertive energy.

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Tip #5: Release The Need To Be Right

Don’t allow your desire to prove a point or be right to override your ability to allow others to be right. Choose your battles wisely. Discern if it’s worth your precious time and energy to react, explain or justify your position. Releasing the need to be right makes room for peace of mind and increases your maturity levels. It’s not always important to prove a point. At the end of the day, your peace of mind and warm heart matters most.

Tip #6: Speak Your Truth

Sharing how you feel and what’s real for you may be scary. Every time you hold back your truth you make your fear more important than love.

You can communicate and express your truth with grace and clarity. Speaking your truth does not equate to being rude or disrespectful in any way, in fact, it’s completely the opposite.

Reach a level of innerstanding that doesn’t falter or run at the first sign of relationship malfunction or uncomfortable disagreements. Carry your heart gently through those tough moments and be gentle with the heart of others. Learn to remove the blindfolds and see your relationships in all the light they have to offer and acknowledge the light they have yet to offer. Gain such a level of innerstanding that you obtain access to more enlightened and supportive communication. Free yourself of any restraints or restrictions you may have had from past relationships that you witnessed or were a part of.

Stand in your power and truth, remove your masks and bring your whole self.

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Tip #7: Learn how to embrace vulnerability

Being vulnerable means your comfortable opening up to others, it means you care deeply about things.

Vulnerability means you are content with the spectrum of your emotions and that you have a clear understanding of who you are as a person.

Instead of suppressing your emotions you are able to express them fully.

Admitting when you’re upset, hurt, afraid, or feeling alone instead of trying to appear strong when you may be crumbling inside.

When you have the courage to be vulnerable it transforms the way in which we relate to others and how we show up in our lives.

Being vulnerable can be tough when we’re terrified about what people might see or think.

Be careful about attaching your self worth to what others opinions are or your ability to produce or earn.

When we are fueled by the fear of what people think we end up hustling for our worthiness rather than standing in it.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Take ownership of your mistakes.

People tend to connect deeper with those who have an open heart and willingness to share their own fragilities.

Tip #8: Be Authentic

This goes hand in hand with being vulnerable.

Most of the time we are afraid of being authentic and real because we spend so much time creating masks and facades to protect the image that our egos have created.

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When you are authentic in your expressions you release the need for approval from others.

Being authentic requires courage and fearlessness.

Ignore Cynics.

Transparency and honesty make you vulnerable, embody these traits anyway.

Being authentic will radiate more pure energy rather than trying to be something you think others will approve of.

Don’t underestimate the quality of authenticity it can transmute uncertainty and enhance the lines of communication.

Tip #9: Nurture Your Relationships

Relationships require attention they don’t just blossom on their own they require water and food to bloom. Set a strong foundation of truth, there lies a fertile ground. Connect in with your relationships consistently. This could mean a phone call, a letter, an email, a visit, a date, tea time or a favored returned. Develop reciprocity in your relationships. Feed where you’re being fed. Be discerning about where you give your energy and time. Make sure that the other person involved is also a source of support for you.

Tip #10: Be willing to do better

One of my favorite quotes is: “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” ~ Maya Angelou

Having a genuine desire to evolve yourself on all levels will only deepen your relationships.

Don’t underestimate the small acts of kindness.

Make a commitment to your personal growth and you will certainly see the difference in your relationships and the quality of your connections.

Angela is an Empowerment Ambassador, Health and Wellness Advocate. She is a student and an example of holistic, spiritually enhanced and youthful living. Angela empowers people to live the heart's path and to believe that life doesn't require one to age quickly and live a life of illness. Writing articles for SOLANCHA Magazine is one of the ways she expresses her passion for inspiring people to become a happier and healthier version of themselves.

Relationships

The Spiritual Connection Checklist: 11 Signs You Are Spiritually Connected With Someone

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Have you ever met someone who made you feel like you are looking at a mirror image of yourself? That liberating and confident feeling that makes you forget, even for a moment what weighs on your mind when this other person is nearby. Could it be that there is a spiritual connection between you?

How can you tell?

Well, the spiritual bonds between people are more prevalent than you may think. In this article, we’ll share the tale-tell signs of spiritual connections. Let’s get to it!

11 Signs of Spiritual Connection

#1 You Feel Tranquil in Each Other’s Presence or Thoughts

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Picture this: You are going through a nervous time and feel the urge to share it with someone. Who comes to your mind? Equally, you are eager about your current situation, but just one touch from this person makes you feel that all will be well.

Most probably, you share a spiritual connection with this soul.

Admittedly, persons sharing a spiritual connection rarely experience that awkward moment when together. Instead, they are comfortable in each other’s presence.

#2 You Withhold Nothing from Each Other

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Do you know a person who makes you feel comfortable in your skin? Regardless of how long you’ve been together, both of you seem to know each other inside out, literally. In turn, you find it hard keeping secrets from each other. This other person makes it easy for you to deal with a dark past that you have been avoiding throughout your life. This sign shows that the two of you have a spiritual connection.

#3 Intimacy Beyond Physical Intimacy

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Often, when you meet your twin flame, you value your shared rendezvous equally as the sexual life. Hence, sex becomes only one part of the bonding. Others may mention that finding someone who grasps their intellectual outlook is enough or better than sharing a bed every night. For such persons, intimacy is knowing that they can be helpless in each other’s presence and feel safe about it.

#4 Time Flies When You Are Together

Who is that person you find yourself talking to and switching from one topic to another endlessly without any of you getting bored? Furthermore, you always mesmerize yourself how much pour out from your lips or thoughts when you are near this person. It’s almost like he/she taps into that part of your mind that translates your imaginations into flowing words. In turn, you find yourself losing track of time when talking to them.

#5 You Share Some Unique Virtues

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When two people have a spiritual bond, they tend to be honest with each other. They listen to each other in an empathic way and have mutual respect’s limits. Furthermore, such a person easily interacts with the other through open and meaningful talks. Hence, if you find it effortless to share such traits with another, chances are you have a spiritual connection with that person.

#6 Have Similar Goals and Expectations

When two persons have similar life goals, they have the same perspective about their future. Hence, they build a sound relationship with solid family values. Moreover, having a spiritual connection makes it effortless to pursue a common goal.

On the contrary, persons who lack such a connection tend to work against each other’s efforts. With time, they find their careers and family life stagnating.

#7 He/She ‘Steals’ Your Thoughts

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Persons with a spiritual connection may find that they come up with similar ideas and thoughts. Think about it: You come up with a creative idea. However, before you implement it, the other person will suggest something very similar to it.

Has he/she stolen your grand ideas?

No. It only shows the two of you are spiritually connected.  Knowing this fact will save you heartaches and misunderstandings in your relationships.

#8 You Communicate In Silence

Do you have this special someone who you feel can read your mind? He/she says what you are about to say or tends to finish your sentences. Persons with a spiritual connection tend to understand each other’s feelings without uttering a word. Often, they know how they feel about each other but may lack words to define it.

Besides, when something is not right with the other person, they can sense it even when they are miles apart. Such silent communication makes the spiritual connection very special between loved ones. They can comfort each other without interrogating one another.

#9 You Trust Blindly

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If ever you find yourself giving into this other person’s advice or ideas without even blinking an eye, you could be spiritually connected. However, being naive should not be confused with a spiritual connection. Assuredly, the spiritual connection removes any doubt you may have about the other person. In turn, you find yourself submitting to him/her.

#10 Laughter in Every Conversation

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Yes. You may not be talking about a jovial topic, but you feel your soul smiling back to every word you hear from this other person. It’s almost like the talks make you feel lighter. Hence, you tend to have a familiar sense of humor.

#11 Your Gut Feeling Tells You So

Sometimes, all you need to confirm a spiritual bond with another person is by following your instincts. What does your gut feeling say? Do you feel this is the person who fills the void you’ve been battling with all this time? Does their presence overshadow everything else? Do you see things falling into place with them in the picture? Then, you should trust your intuition on this.

Conclusion

Spiritual connection with another person is a plus in any conscious relationship. Still, whereas you can grow fond of each other, intimacy is no guarantee of a spiritual link between you. Persons relating in husband/wife, child/parent, or boyfriend/girlfriend roles may be tolerating each other to conform to the norms. In contrast, having a deep affinity with another is more profound than this.

Yes.

It goes beyond the gender and current relationship.  Plus, it can be formed or lost with time. Therefore, it’s necessary to know if you have a spiritual connection with someone. That way, you’ll strive towards growing this bond.

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Love

How Do Empaths Protect Themselves From Narcissists? Practical Insights and Tips

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Relationships can be very complicated. And strangely enough, we don’t always consciously choose the person whom we fall in love with really. It just happens. By nature, empaths have a big heart, while Narcissists, on the contrary, have an annoyingly exaggerated sense of self-importance. It is thus a little bit challenging when these two contrasting personas are in a relationship. So then, how do empaths protect themselves from narcissists? Do they need protection in the first place? In this article, I will take an in-depth look at these two characters and give tips on how to accommodate each other.

Who are Empaths?

If you are an empath, the chances are that you have had an encounter(s) with a narcissist(s). Whether or not the experience was fruitful solely depends on how you interacted with them. Narcissists thrive on making other people feel inferior about themselves.

This could be draining given that empaths are quite the opposite of narcissists – sensitive.

Empaths Character Traits

Before we delve into knowing how empaths protect themselves from narcissists, let’s discuss the traits that define empaths.

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The following traits are common among empaths:

  • Do you have a problem with boundaries? Empaths tend to worry more about others than themselves. Consequently, it is difficult at times to tell when to open up and let other people into their life and when to shut off negative energy.
  • Empaths are easily prone to a nervous breakdown. They feel for everyone, including people who are total strangers to them. Absorbing all these emotions (both happy and sad) can lead to a nervous system meltdown.
  • They have intimacy issues. Empaths are quick to connect with other people emotionally. This is a liability especially when it comes to maintaining a relationship with one person. You can unconsciously find yourself emotionally entangled with more than one person.
  • Alone time is replenishing. Empaths recharge when they are alone and free from human contact. Absorbing all these emotions can be weary and draining. Alone time allows an empath to decompress and recharge. This is mainly achieved in a serene natural environment setting.
  • You have an acute intuition. The gut feeling of an empath is always right most times. I think the ability to feel what the next person is feeling is what contributes to this.

Who are Narcissists?

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Beyond knowing how empaths can protect themselves from narcissists, you need to know how to identify a narcissist. It is not hard to identify a narcissist from the crowd. No one person will admit to being grandiose callous and unemotional.

Narcissists Character Traits

Narcissists portray the following characteristics:

  • Need for self-admiration. Narcissists crave admiration more than anything else. They will bombard you with statistics and personal achievements to feed their ego. This has the effect of making the other person think lowly of themselves.
  • They lack empathy. Narcissists do not show the slightest of emotion towards anything or anyone.
  • Feeling entitled. They are arrogant, selfish and think that others are indebted to them.
  • They can be manipulative. A narcissist will trick you into doing what they want. Their interests always come first, and they love exploiting others.
  • Authoritativeness. Since they believe they are good at everything they do, narcissists have an inflated sense of bossiness.

How Do Empaths Protect Themselves From Narcissists?

Given that they connect quickly, empaths are an easy target to prey on. Do empaths need to protect themselves from narcissists? Yes. Narcissists will not mind that their utterances and actions are hurting others. As a result, such a relationship will only wreck an empath. That said, how do empaths protect themselves from narcissists?

Meditation

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Connecting with nature is the simplest and quickest way for an empath to replenish. Take time to reflect and think about whether or not someone is adding value to you or just exploiting you. This is the only time you can clear your mind and think clearly.

Build Boundaries

I know this sounds impossible, but there is no other way around it. You need to cut off any ties with narcissists. If you can’t then at least come clean with the person. Narcissists will only drain you of your energy at their pleasure. This might sound selfish at first, but it is for your highest good that you avoid these people.

Alone Time

Do not spend too much time with a person if they exhibit narcissistic behaviors. Take some time off to decompress and gain back the lost energy.

Let Yourself Be

Naturally, you will fall for a narcissist and even get tempted in to ‘helping’ them. Remember, it is not your job to fix everybody. Who will fix you anyway? Sometimes you need to be quite the opposite of what defines you and care for yourself.

Trust Your Intuition

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This is the easiest way for empaths to protect themselves from narcissists. Your guts will always be right. So if you detect some negative energy in your life, the safest decision is to walk away.

Don’t Take Everything to Heart

Someone might say something insensitive towards you. If you took everything seriously, then you might become a human wreck. Take criticism for what it is without necessarily letting it eat you up. Besides, not everyone will always be helpful to you and expecting that from them is no less than being a narcissist.

Ignore them

Narcissists crave attention. Don’t give it to them. They can and will find someone else to pick on.

The Bottom Line

The truth is that no one is perfect. Well, a narcissist believes otherwise. Don’t be so obsessed with the idea of protecting yourself such that you forget to live and enjoy yourself. You may end up a sad, depressed soul and discover that you are lonely and unhappy when it is already too late to change things. People will always have flaws, and I think that is what completes us in our human nature. Dating a narcissist may be the equivalent of a dangerous dance with the devil, but hey, at least you get to dance in the long run. I hope the above answers the question: how do empaths protect themselves from narcissists. In the end, what counts is whether you found happiness in your relationship.

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Dating

What Is Tantra? Demystifying The Myths

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What is tantra? Tantra in literal terms can be compared to technology. Just like we harness technology to create what we want – physical items or otherwise, tantra is leveraged to enable us to make available, an intelligence beyond our present capabilities. It is a sophisticated process of awareness, openness, and harmony. It allows you to open your heart and move the energies within your body through conscious awareness.

Demystifying Tantra

Tantra originated from India and was documented in Sanskrit texts from the 6th to about the 13th century. It was (and still is) meant to enhance the mastery of one’s energies and how to harness them. Tantra works to help us to love and understand our lives. It also creates a spiritual connection with everything that is present in our lives. And in this case, even our partners.

The nature of the human mind is such that if we can distinctly create something in our mind, the next step would be to empower that with our life energy. And if we can do that, it will become a living reality by itself. Most humans have lost this power because their minds have become restless. Their life energies are also not sufficiently organized to put them behind whatever they wish.

There are tools that we can use to harness our mind and energies to making an intelligence that surpasses our present capabilities. These tools are referred to as tantric methods. We use tantra to make things happen. Tantra methods are varied. In yoga, we refer to it as tantra yoga. In sexuality, we relate to the tantra method as tantric sex. With Tantra, you work on your mind, energies, emotions, body, and heart, collectively or separately, to achieve something.

If you’re still wondering what is tantra, we can conclude that if you are able to strengthen yourself physically such that you can accomplish arduous tasks, then that is Tantra. Similarly, tantra is when you manage to employ your energies to your heart. This makes you kind and loving to all.

Tantra and Sexuality

For most people (especially in Western countries), the mention of tantra resonates with acrobatic sexuality – hours and hours of it. There is nothing wrong with wanting to enjoy prolonged sex. However, tantra works mainly to enhance a more intimate and stronger connection with your partner.

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So, all this begs the question, what is tantra with regards to sexuality?

To answer this question, I will refer to a form of tantra called tantric sex.

Tantric sex, an ancient Hindu practice, had remained hidden from the public for ages due to religious reasons. However, it is now open to all. Tantric sex is a form of slow sex. It is designed as a way of weaving and expanding the energies at play during sex. The aim is for the whole experience to be as enjoyable and rewarding as possible.

Sexuality is potent. Its energies are some of the most intense. Tantric sex enables you to harness this energy appropriately. Instead of demanding fulfillment from your partner, tantra helps you to find it within yourself. This creates stability and harmony in relationships.

Tantra also allows couples to enjoy better sex. It provides an avenue in which they eradicate the negative emotions that work to inhibit the blossoming of relationships. In Tantra, sex isn’t a taboo or something to be ashamed. Instead, it is sacred and an expression of our inherent ability to experience joy with others.

There are specific guidelines when performing tantra that I apply. These guidelines are extremely useful in facilitating a bond with my partner and providing a conducive atmosphere for intimacy. In many ways, it enhances sensuality even before you initiate intercourse.

The Basic Tantric Sex Principles are:

  • Creating a sacred place for your sexual time with your partner.
  • Slowing down and being aware and present with each other.
  • Honoring your lover.
  • Emphasizing total body sexual foreplay.

Use tantric breathing exercises to channel your Kundalini. The term refers to sexual energy that stays dormant in your body until it is awakened. It then spreads from the base of your spine to the top of your head, through your Chakras (your body energy centers).

The Impacts of Tantra on Spirituality As Well As Sexual Relationships

Tantra enables you to channel your energies into achieving calmness and inner peace which are integral components of your spirituality.

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The emphasis of tantric sex on honoring your lover and taking out negative thoughts about them as well as yourself, from your mind is essential in promoting healthy relationships.

Today’s lives and hustles mean that we rarely stop and get to understand the special people in our lives. Tantra enhances connecting with your lover more intensely. This improves the bond you share with each other. You get to understand each other on a very high level. It also provides adequate closeness in your intimacy which enhances your union.

The ability to experience sexual pleasure is vital in any sexual relationship. Tantric sex enables you to harness sexual energy. The pleasurable sensations get exaggerated and experienced over long periods. After all, sex is part of being human and enjoying it in the best way possible is essential to our wellbeing.

In tantra, we learn how to use our mind, energies, and body as instruments with which we can achieve higher possibilities. When correctly implemented, tantra enhances spiritual healing and wellness.

Tips for Spicing Up Lovemaking Based On Tantric Sex

Mental Manipulation

The key to enjoying sex lies in one’s mind. If anything the brain is the organ that processes our sensations. What this means is that any negative thoughts including misgivings about ourselves or our partners will ultimately hinder us from enjoying the experiences. You, therefore, need to shed it all and have a clear mind.

Think of it as having an intimate relationship with the best version of your partner. Release the past and immerse yourself in the now – the present. Keep it all out and focus on the experiences at hand. Focus on the nourishing thoughts about yourself, your body as well as your partner’s.

Establish and Maintain Eye Contact

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Having eye contact with your partner during sex (as well as during foreplay) is one of the best ways to connect with them. Intimacy is not just about intercourse. It is also about getting to be one with your partner. Eye contact enables you to fully immerse yourself in your sensations as well as those of your partner.

One way to start is by eye gazing. Sit across each other on the bed with no touching and merely stare into each other’s eyes for about five minutes. Essentially, it creates a deep level of connection with your partner even before you touch one another.

Meditate As You Have Sex

What I mean by this, is to picture the sensations while being fully aware of your present moment. If you tune in to your five senses, you will experience everything that you perceive at that moment. This will happen through what you see, hear, feel, smell, and taste.

The next step is to use your sexual energy to get into a state of trance. For regular sex, your sensations and the turn-on are localized in your genitals. However, with tantra, you can direct this energy to the brain and through the rest of the body. It will get you into a profound state of consciousness.

In Conclusion

Orgasm or climaxing is usually a short-lived period of extreme pleasure. However, with tantric sex, due to the intense circulation of sexual energy, as well as the fact that you’re more in a state of trance, the orgasm leads to the entire body coming alive. Instead of being a brief experience, the body radiates these extreme pleasure sensations for hours and hours. With this, I hope the question of what is tantra has been comprehensively addressed.

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