What comes to mind when you think of a narcissist? A selfish person who uses their victim for self-gain, right? In contrast, we see a codependent person as excessively selfless and an easy victim to a narcissist. Yet, both the narcissist and the codependent person have unhealthy views of themselves. See, they share similar needs but portray them through opposite behaviors. In a nutshell, a narcissist can be codependent.

Codependency vs. Narcissism

Three aspects make it possible for a narcissist to be codependent. These three factors facilitate the bond between a codependent person and a narcissist. They are: –

#1: A History of Trauma and Abuse

Many narcissists come from a childhood background characterized by neglect, parents who are inconsistent or abusive. This unhealed trauma results in unresolved shadow emotions. It sets up the narcissist to display codependent traits towards those around them. The same applies to codependent persons recovering from abusive relationships or upbringing.

#2: Undefined View of Self

Both a narcissist and a codependent person struggle with their identities. In turn, they rely on those around them to dictate who they are. For example, a narcissist values what their victim says about their strengths. However, a codependent person pegs their self-worth on the current mood of their narcissistic partner.

#3: Extreme Focus on Others vs. Self

Narcissists are self-centered. They hardly show empathy to those in need. More so, they only display concern for others if it will benefit them in some way. For example, a narcissist will help their victim to get the recognition that inflates their self-esteem. 

A codependent person focuses on others to the point of trying to control the other person’s behavior. This individual is always looking for opportunities to serve others. In turn, they peg their identity on how this other person responds to them.

How Do Narcissists Become Codependent?

Note that codependency is a pattern that makes a person prone to getting stuck in a narcissistic relationship. Yet, a narcissist relies more on their victims for their narcissistic supply and validation. Hence, there are instances when the narcissist looks to their partner for reassurance, displaying their codependency tendencies.

How Does a Relationship with a Codependent Narcissist Look Like?

A narcissist can be in a relationship with a codependent person if the two depend on each other to feed needs that sustain their harmful behaviors. Here, a narcissist exploits the codependent person in achieving their selfish goals. And, the codependent person is over-dependent on the narcissist to make decisions for them. This interaction reinforces their negative traits like alcohol and drug addiction, domestic violence, or self-harm.

Trauma Bonding with a Codependent Narcissist

A relationship with a codependent narcissist has trauma bonding as its underlying foundation. It features typical behaviors like dismissiveness, invalidation, and thoughts of worthlessness. For example, someone who is struggling with negative beliefs about themselves becomes prone to trauma bonding.

As a result, they get confused when in a narcissistic relationship. In the process, they feel that they need to be more than enough to keep their narcissistic partners happy. Next, they get stuck even though the narcissist needs them more than they need the narcissist.

Coping Mechanisms

Do you identify your codependent person? And, are you currently in a relationship with a narcissist? If so, you need to make lifestyle changes that free you from the cycle of this toxic relationship. This association with a codependent narcissist makes you derive your sense of self and identity from your partner’s ups and downs.

Here are some healthy habits you can develop: –

#1: Speak up

Often, we can tell when we are in a toxic relationship. If you suspect abuse, talk to a friend or other family members. Let them give you their opinion about your current situation.

#2: Learn all you can about a codependent narcissist

This knowledge helps you appreciate how they think and view you.

#3: Channel your emotions appropriately

Indeed, there are days when you wake up feeling sad, angry, or disgusted. When these emotions overwhelm you, avoid looking up to the narcissist for validation. Instead, exercise or engage in a hobby to release this surge of negative emotions.

#3: Invest in self-care routines

These are healthy habits that shift your focus from the narcissist. They help you appreciate your strengths and accept your weaknesses.

#4: Go for psychotherapy

More so, if your relationship is draining your mental and physical health. Get professional guidance to help you overcome addictions, emotional and physical abuse in your current relationship.

#5: Set healthy boundaries

By having clear boundaries on what you accept or refuse, you limit narcissistic abuse.

#6: Know when to call it quits

If your relationship includes instances of name-calling, yelling, false accusations, public humiliation, and threats, you could be in physical danger. Here, reach out to your local shelters or service providers for temporary refuge from the immediate risk. Then, engage a counselor, family member, or the local authorities to end the relationship peacefully.

What Happens When You End a Relationship With a Codependent Narcissist?

A codependent narcissist gets stuck in a toxic relationship for a long time. Still, should their victims end the relationship; this narcissist will look for someone else to replace them right away.

See, a codependent narcissist often has a past or current history of addiction. This person gets enraged and needy towards their partners on any given day. Their anger feelings come about since they need their partners for their narcissistic supply. And they feel needy because they are scared that their partner can leave them. Hence, when the relationship ends, the codependent narcissist struggles to stay alone.

Conclusion

A codependent narcissist is always in a toxic relationship with those around them. And a codependent person is an easy target to a narcissist. Both persons find it almost impossible to end the relationship. So, if you suspect that you are relating to a codependent narcissist, take time to understand their behavior. And since a narcissistic abuse recovery takes time, practice self-care and reach out for professional help to facilitate your recovery journey. That way, you will be more prepared to deal with them or manage the daily narcissistic situations for better living.

Self-love is an essential component for our self-healing journey and any spiritual practice. Without self-love, we cannot truly love somebody else and experience the highest form of love – unconditional love. Self-love is the practice of understanding, embracing, and showing compassion for yourself. It involves taking care of ourselves on the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual levels. Self-forgiveness, self-respect, and self-acceptance are essential components of self-love practice. One of the powerful tools that can help you to create the frequency of love within is crystals for self-love.

In this article, we will share with you 8 beautiful crystals for self-love that will assist your self-love journey and give you support and confidence in your self-healing practice.

The Science Behind Crystals

It has been scientifically proven that matter is 99.999999999999% empty space. And what makes up this empty space is energy. Therefore, it won’t be a mistake to say that energy is everything, and everything is energy. You, everything around you – the furniture, the phone you’re holding, and the crystals are vibrating energy.

Each of us has our own unique vibrational frequency. People with higher vibrations radiate love and kindness, peace and compassion, whereas people with lower vibrations experience more low-vibrational emotions like fear, anger, jealousy, or anxiety.

Whatever frequency we are at, as humans, our vibrations are very unstable and can be easily affected by our environment, other people, social media, the news, traffic, the weather, our own memories, etc.

Crystals, on the other hand, have a very stable energy frequency due to the fact that they were made up of a fixed, regularly repeating, perfect geometric pattern of molecules. Therefore, they are able to maintain the perfect stability of the Earth element. This is the opposite quality to our constantly changing, non-stable human nature.

While the healing properties of crystals have not yet been proven, we do know that crystals radiate a unique electrical charge known as piezoelectricity. Piezoelectricity is an electrical charge that is emitted from crystals once they are pressed or cut.

Scientific research has been able to demonstrate that synthetic crystals can actually store data. This could explain why certain crystals have specific qualities.

Thus, the properties of certain crystals work in harmony with our subtle energies, helping to clear any blockages and balance emotions. Crystals for self-love can help to remove whatever blocks we have on our path of self-love and to increase the love frequency in our aura.

8 Must-Have Crystals For Self-Love

Now, let us share with you the 8 self-love crystals that can help you in your self-love journey and inner work. You can program these crystals with your intentions, meditate with them, hold them between your palms while you’re repeating your self-love affirmations, chanting love mantras, or performing your prayers. If you are not involved in deep spiritual work yet, you can let these crystals serve you as mindfulness totems. Whatever way you choose to use your crystals, they will surely enrich your self-love journey and create a beautiful love aura around you.

Here is our list of the must-have self-love crystals:

#1: Rose quartz

Rose quartz is the Heart chakra stone that manifests unconditional love – not just towards others but yourself too. It helps us to practice self-compassion and love ourselves regardless of any perceived flaws or imperfections. This is a crystal of comfort, deep healing, and compassion.

Rose quartz work by encouraging our heart chakras to open. When our heart chakra is open, we can peel back our inner petals and bloom into love, trust, and compassion.

Use Rose Quartz anytime you feel a negative pull towards self-sabotage or when you are feeling like your self-esteem is low.

#2: Green Aventurine

Green Aventurine helps to balance energies and see things in an objective way. This beautiful heart chakra stone reduces self-criticism and opens us up to giving and receiving love. If you’re struggling with forgiveness or self-forgiveness, green aventurine will help you let go of guilt and forgive yourself and others. In addition, green aventurine aids in emotional stability and helps to soothe the mind and heal the heart.

Green aventurine honors Kuan-Yin, the Chinese goddess of mercy, compassion, and unconditional love. To many, Kuan-Yin is regarded as a protector of women, children, and unsung heroes.

#3: Carnelian

Carnelian is a powerful stone that increases your courage, stamina, and the boldness you need to shine. This is the perfect self-love stone for those who feel like a distinguished flame and needs a tool to brighten themselves up.

In addition, carnelian helps to raise feelings of self-worth and allows us to see our true value. This is the perfect stone to increase your confidence and make you feel capable of taking on new challenges and opportunities!

Carnelian is connected to your sacral chakra, a place where a lot of women hold onto past pain and trauma. Therefore, this stone is also effective for healing your past trauma and working through the blocks that prevent you from loving yourself.

#4: Moonstone

Moonstone is a beautiful stone that holds the power of the feminine energy of the moon. Working with this crystal helps you increase self-compassion which leads to self-acceptance, self-forgiveness, and self-love. Call on the natural power of the Moonstone when you need to feel those mothering arms around you.

#5: Rhodochrosite

Rhodochrosite is known as the Stone of the Compassionate Heart. This beautiful stone increases the vibrates of love, forgiveness, and compassion towards the inner child, helping to heal old wounds, feelings, and traumas to develop self-love.

If you feel out of touch with your inner child, rhodochrosite can help you to reconnect and reparent him/her in the gentlest of ways. Rhodochrosite helps you to deal with unresolved issues and to find forgiveness.

#6: Amazonite

Amazonite is a beautiful stone that helps with setting the boundaries that are an essential part of self-love. It helps to cultivate self-awareness and compassionate thinking. Also, amazonite helps to boost self-esteem, develop forgiveness, calm the nervous system, clear away stress, and reduce anxiety.

For those times when you feel like you can’t stand up for yourself, amazonite can help you find confidence and support. This stone connects with both the heart chakra and the throat chakra, sending a beautiful flow between your heart space and the center of your communication.

#7: Amethyst

Amethyst is a great crystal for spiritual self-love. This beautiful purple crystal helps us to connect to our higher selves and develop self-awareness. Amethyst is often used in shadow work as it helps to work through shame, fears, and blocks. In addition, it helps to stop negative self-talk, increase self-worth, and reduce anxiety.

Amethyst is also used as a chakra healing stone. In particular, it is connected to our crown chakra. It helps to clear our Sahasrara and fill us right up with the light of enlightenment. When we feel spiritually connected to the world we live in, it becomes easier for us to let go of old fears and anxieties and to understand the bigger picture and purpose. Therefore, whenever you feel lost in this world, remember to invite the healing vibes of amethyst into your self-healing practice to center yourself back to your spiritual self.

#8: Citrine

Citrine is a crystal of joy and happiness that is connected to your solar plexus chakra. Remember that your solar plexus is your power center. When you invite citrine in your self-love practice, it helps you to turn into a spiritual warrior, gives you the courage to love and accept yourself, and shakes off all the negative energy.

Whenever you feel like life isn’t going the way you want it to go, calling in the healing power of citrine will help you find the positive outcome from any situation and be more optimistic about the future.

The Bottom Line

There are many beautiful and powerful crystals and stones that you can use for increasing your self-love. These eight are the must-have crystals that we believe can help to take the self-love journey to the next level. Use these stones for your self-love practices, meditations, rituals, or as amulets that you wear. Don’t forget to regularly cleanse and charge your crystals to keep their energy strong.

Feng shui is not just about attracting wealth or attaining success. It can also help to attract love and romance into your life. By activating your feng shui love corner, you will create certain energy vibrations within your home that are conducive to attracting love and romantic relationship for those of you who are still single, for helping childless couples to have children, and for bringing a new lease of life to those of you whose marriage has suffered from bad feng shui.

In this article, I will share with you how to find your feng shui love corner, how to fix bad feng shui, and to activate positive chi.

What is a “Feng Shui Love Corner”?

Feng shui love corner is the Southwest sector of your house. To determine it, you need to use the Bagua map of your house. If you are new to Bagua, make sure to read my articles:

Feng Shui Bagua: 8 Aspirations

The Feng Shui Bagua Map: How to Use It?

Your Southwest sector represents romance, love, and marriage. If this sector has good feng shui, your romantic life will be positively energized. If your “love corner” has clutter, dust, or dangerous objects (like wooden or metal objects, for example), your romantic life will suffer from bad feng shui.

Here are some important feng shui indicators for your love corner:

#1: Your Southwest corner should not be missing

If a house doesn’t have a Southwest corner, it makes the energy of a woman who lives there weaker. Such a woman usually doesn’t spend too much time at home, she can be a workaholic or party a lot. Also, a missing Southwest sector becomes the cause of feminine health problems. However, usually, bad feng shui of a house with a missing Southwest sector affects mostly mothers, women over 40, or/and people with Kua number 2.

What if I don’t have the Southwest sector in my house?

If you don’t have a Southwest sector in your house, you can activate it in the living room. Simply find the Southwest corner of your living room and make sure it’s clean, bright, and light.

#2: Southwest sector should look beautiful and airy

It is very important that your Southwest sector be made to look really beautiful and airy, where the chi flows easily. Therefore, make sure you don’t store suitcases here, and that this sector is clean and free of dust and trash.

To attract love, we should make the southwest sector light and bright. Make sure it has enough natural light. If it doesn’t, use extra electric lights there to keep it light. This light attracts romantic luck into your life!

#3: Remove or minimize dangerous objects

Wooden and metal objects located in the Southwest sector are considered to be dangerous for this area. It’s better to remove them or at least minimize them. Also, colors like blue, black, white, green, silver, and gold are unfavorable in this area. Try not to use these colors for decorating your home and don’t paint your walls in these colors.

How to Activate Feng a Shui Love Corner?

When activating the feng shui love corner, we are turning the Southwest sector into a magical island of love that radiates powerful vibrations of love and attracts romance.

Here is a list of tips and talismans that project a powerful message to the Universe that you are ready for love and happiness and open for a romantic relationship. Place the talismans that you like most in the Southwest sector, and expect wonderful miracles to happen!

Tip #1: Use favorable colors

Pink, red, yellow, brown, and beige are favorable colors for your Southwest sector. Fiery colors (such as red and pink) bring romance and passion, whereas earthy colors (such as brown and beige) bring stability and security to the relationship.

Tip #2: Use favorable shapes

Square and triangle with the top up are favorable shapes for the Southwest corner. When decorating this area, focus on these shapes.

Tip #3: Use the Kun trigram

A trigram is a code for energy that can be applied in many different ways in Chinese metaphysics. The Kun trigram is made up of three broken yin bars. It symbolizes Mother Earth. This is a powerful trigram that represents love, romance, relationship, and marriage. Keeping a replica of the Kun trigram in your Southwest sector will enhance harmony in your romantic life and within your family.

Tip #4: Use Earth element

The element of the Southwest is earth. Therefore, it’s favorable to place earth element objects in the Southwest sector to strengthen the influence of this element. Placing crystals here will have the most positive effect.

It is best to place the crystal in such a way that sunlight falls on it. On a nice sunny day, you can play with the crystal, turning it and allowing shining rays to illuminate the walls, ceiling, and all objects in the room. This simple action brings positive Chi energy to your house.

Another way to place the crystal in the southwest sector is to hang it. However, be careful there are certain rules on how to hang the crystal for feng shui purposes:

1. hang your crystal on a red thread;

2. the length of this thread must be a multiple of 9. That is 9, 18, or 27 cm (3.54, 7.09, or 10.63 inches). This is because the number 9 is a sacred number in Feng Shui that combines the power of heaven and earth;

3. when hanging the crystal, it is important to charge it. Simply turn to your crystal and ask it to protect your house from negativity and bring love, peace, and harmony into your life.

Tip #5: Use pair talismans

The number of the Southwest sector is 2. Therefore, in order to activate it, we need to use pair talismans or objects. Traditional Feng Shui suggests placing mandarin ducks or a pair of cranes in the southwest sector. The mandarin ducks symbolize a long and happy marriage. The cranes carry the very strong energy of the happy couple that cannot be separated. They symbolize immortal love and loyalty.

Another great love activator is a couple of candles. Place a couple of red or pink candles in the southwest sector and light them approximately once a week with the intention to attract love into your life. While the candles are burning, you can meditate, looking at the flame. Imagine how this flame ignites the fire of love in your heart.

Tip #6: Use the power of the “Dragon and Phoenix”

In the feng shui symbolism, Dragon and Phoenix are the two most powerful exponents of favorable Qi energy. These are heavenly creatures that symbolize the pinnacle of luck.

The Dragon symbolizes success, courage, leadership, and higher fortune. Phoenix symbolizes new opportunities, luck, change, and rebirth.

Dragon and Phoenix placed together represent a strong Union of Yin and Yang, embodied in the life of family happiness. This is an effective means of improving romantic luck, both for already married people and for those who are in search of love.

Place the Dragon and Phoenix in the southwest sector of your house or in your bedroom.

Tip #7: Use windchimes

Windchime is a great energizer of positive Chi. As soon as you hang the windchime in the Southwest sector of your house, rest assured – the love energy has been activated for you.

Tip #8: Use rose quartz double heart

Place a rose quartz double heart talisman in the southwest sector of your house and you will activate the energy of love, tenderness, and romance in your life.

The Bottom Line

By activating your feng shui love corner you will jazz up your love life, enhance your friendships, and energize the conjugal happiness of your marriage.