The fact is; we are emotional beings. We go through one or more emotions at different stages in our lives, depending on our environment and those around us. These emotions, coupled with desire and knowledge, determine how we behave. However, not all emotions are pleasant. A painful period may trigger awful negative feelings that can lead to emotional numbness. Here, the body is temporarily blocking any further negative emotions that are harmful to the body and mind. So how can you tell that you are going through emotional numbness? And, what can you do to cope? Read on.

10 Signs of Emotional Numbness

#1: Emptiness

Emotional numbness is a period of emptiness. Typical triggers of emptiness include infidelity, boredom, and bereavement, communication breakdown in families, substance abuse, and mental health issues like depression.

In such a situation, you may lose purpose in life, studies, work, or hobbies. For example, the loss of a partner changes the structure of your life overnight. All of a sudden, you question the validity of your dreams.

#2: Disconnections between Body and Mind

Are you grieving, facing hatred and discrimination at your place of work, or have crushing anxiety about the outcome of your medical tests? Well, all these events can cause your body to disconnect from your mind. You may find yourself absent-minded in most office meetings.

Alternatively, you could be going with the flow, taking medication, and eating a special diet as per your nutritionist’s recommendations. Yet, when you look back, you have no recollection of why or what you just did.

#3: Disconnection with the World

Emotional numbness makes us cold to those we care about. In turn, we lose touch with local events, special days, or even forget our daily routines. For example, a spouse who is grieving the loss of a child may forget their wedding anniversary. Or, a mother who just underwent a painful delivery may find it hard to soothe a child, despite hearing the baby crying for hours.

#4: Withdrawal from Friends and Family

Now, when you do not share emotions with your family and friends, you become detached. Sometimes, you feel numb when listening to your loved ones sharing their challenges and wins. Or, a heart-felt movie feels indifferent.

#5: Autopilot Mode

Now, emotional numbness switches our brain to autopilot mode. Here, we do things because we know them as per our subconscious mind. However, we have no desire to grow our potential or further this knowledge in any way. You may wake up, shower, take your morning toast and coffee, and hop on the tram to school. A few minutes you remember that electrical fault at the cooker, that can start a fire once you are gone. Or, realize that you picked the wrong clothes from the laundry mat, after getting those weird looks in class.

#6: Loss of Sense of Time

When you are lost in your world due to emotional numbness, time comes to a standstill. You forget significant dates. And, a mention of, say Thanksgiving rings no bell about the season of the year.

#7: Living on the Edge

Severe stress can make you live on the edge. You feel like you no longer have control of the events in your life. Like you are a guest in your own life. In turn, you no longer find pleasure in your hobbies or career. Or, your concentration is almost zero even in the simplest tasks.

#8: Overall Insensitivity

Emotional numbness diminishes your ability to process thoughts or respond to physical signals. You are always in a constant dream-like state.

#9: Dislike of Persons with Strong Emotions

Since you are unable to express strong negative or positive emotions, your numbness makes you detest others who do so.

#10: Panic Attacks

Finally, as the period of emotional numbness comes to an end, you may start to experience overwhelming and confusing feelings. You start questioning your state of mind, as you have no clue what is happening to you. In turn, you may have severe panic attacks.

Managing this final phase of emotional numbness full of emotional imbalances is critical. You do not want to trigger another stressful event that may prolong the disorder.

Self-Help Tips

Note that, emotional numbness is always due to underlying stress. Your first step to overcoming this disorder is by addressing the stress.

You can achieve this by:

#1: Reorganizing Your Lifestyle

Do you feel you are in the wrong career? Go back to school and study another course. If you are struggling with obesity, enroll in your local gym for regular fitness exercises. Where you struggle with insomnia, use guided audio sleep meditations to get enough deep sleep.

These lifestyle changes will relieve you of the stress, and get control of your life.

Many people try to fill the emptiness in their lives by engaging in unhealthy compulsive behaviors. These include compulsive shopping, alcohol abuse, overeating, or under-eating. Doing so only worsens the situation.

#2: Breathwork (Pranayama)

Breathing exercises are a simple and easy way to help you mindfully move through whatever you’re experiencing. Pranayama is particularly useful when intense feelings such as fear or rage breakthrough. There are many tutorials with breathing techniques you can easily find online. Stick to something simple. The point is to use your breath (in whatever way suits you), to calm your mind and body. Try to breathe slowly, deeply, and softly instead of forcing deep breaths (which can actually increase anxiety). Let your breath be natural.

#3: Journaling

Get a journal and spend 5-10 minutes a day writing down everything that triggers even the slightest bit of sadness in you. This simple habit will help you to express your emotions, even if in an indirect way at first. Your journal will serve you as a catalyst for feeling and letting out your emotions.

#4: Catharsis

Catharsis may involve screaming into or punching a pillow to stimulate sadness and crying. This intensively emotional exercise may also involve impassioned dancing or dynamic meditation.

Regular catharsis should be a must on your journey. Without regularly ‘letting it all out,’ you may run the risk of experiencing the repercussions of festering emotions.

#5: Inner Child Healing

Practice inner child healing and find ways of comforting and nurturing this vulnerable place within you.

#6: Creative Expression

Write a song, paint a picture, dance, find some way of expressing what emotion you last felt. If you struggle to feel anything at all, express that artistically. Pay attention to how you feel afterward. Notice if there is even the slightest feeling of satisfaction within you.

#7: Ask for Help – Psychotherapy

Often, you may find that you are struggling to maintain a regular self-care routine that can help you snap out of the temporary emotional numbness. That is quite normal. Tap yourself in the back for taking the initiative to deal with this disorder, even when your mind is not into it.

However, if you find your routines are too inconsistent, seek professional help.

Psychotherapy involves working with a counselor or doctor to address your cognitive behavior. It is about checking and correcting how your thought process affects your behavior. By doing so, you reduce bouts of anxiety, depression, fear, or a sense of helplessness.

Conclusion

Note that, emotional numbness is quite common; affecting most people at various stages in their lives. It is the body’s way of overcoming being helpless as you undergo prolonged physical or emotional trauma. If you feel empty, seek help.

It can be tricky to recognize the signs of unhealed trauma. Most people are not even aware of how their unhealed trauma is causing disruptions in their daily lives. Often, when you go through a traumatic event, there is some degree of dissociation that happens and you may essentially “block out” all, or part, of the event, so your awareness of the trauma isn’t accurate. However, there are 12 common signs of unhealed trauma that you can look for.

12 Signs Of Unhealed Trauma

This is how unhealed trauma can look like:

#1: Low self-esteem

Studies have shown that patients with PTSD can have very low self-esteem and also have feelings of worthlessness. If you’ve experienced neglect and abandonment in the past, if you’ve been hurt by someone you loved, it can lead you down a path of questioning your self-worth and struggling to feel good about yourself.

#2: Codependency in relationships

Any type of trauma can lead to codependent relationships, in which the person who experienced trauma feels completely and destructively dependent on another. Codependency can lead you to question if you are loved and worthy, if others are and can be available and responsive to you, and if the world is safe for you.

#3: Fear of being abandoned

Fear of being abandoned is a constant worry for the active codependent. The fear of abandonment can come from many places, but its origin is usually within early experiences. Abandonment is a fear that children have when their parents are too far away, or there must be a separation such as going to school for the first time. In these circumstances, a child feels afraid to be separated and can feel that the separation is permanent – that the parent will not return. 

In adulthood, having a fear of abandonment may lead to many negative circumstances, such as:

• feeling unworthy of love;
• staying in a toxic relationship so you won’t be alone;
• feeling grateful for even unhealthy attention from others;
• feeling insecure and inferior when comparing yourself to others;
• accepting unacceptable behavior;
• using addictive behaviors to feel better about yourself and your life.

#4: Trouble asking for help

Do you struggle to communicate with others and open up to your friends and family about your trauma? If your trauma was caused by mistreatment it can be a real struggle for you to ask for help. You would rather stay silent, oppressing all feelings inside than reach out to others for help or support. You may also have a fear of rejection or judgment from others, or you may be afraid of appearing weak to those around you.

#5: Craving for external validation

How can an unhealthy craving for external validation look like? Not being able to confront people or disagree, changing your thoughts and beliefs because someone else either approves or disapproves and ascribing your self-worth to the approval of others. These are examples of reliance on external validation.

#6: An innate feeling of shame

Shame is a negative self-judgment and viewing yourself as worthless. No one is immune to feeling shame when it comes to experiencing trauma. However, there are certain types of trauma that are responsible for the slow rise of this emotion, such as traumas caused by sexual violence, intimate partner abuse, and childhood abuse. The reason why these traumas are prime is that they are extremely dehumanizing and humiliating by nature, which is the perfect recipe for shame to form. Shame can become a catalyst to partake in self-destructive behaviors, self-blame, self-neglect, perfectionism, and even link to suicidal thoughts or attempts.

#7: Not being able to tolerate conflict

Nobody enjoys conflict. It makes most of us uncomfortable and is often has a negative impact on any relationship. Fortunately, with conscious communication and emotional intelligence, most relationships can survive conflict and thrive through it. However, that’s not always the case. If you are a trauma survivor, conflict can be so deregulating and triggering that you will try to avoid it at all costs. This can not only be detrimental to your mental health but can also cause long-term damage to your relationships.

Does your hypervigilance kick in when you sense someone getting angry or frustrated? Do you immediately freeze when you hear someone’s voice is getting louder? Do you feel panicked and overwhelmed by arising conflict so that you’re willing to do anything to make it stop? If you answered ‘yes’ to these questions chances are you are still suffering from unhealed trauma.

#8: Worrying about the future

Worrying about the future is one of the most common types of overthinking where we imagine possible problems or dangers. “Of course, anticipating problems or threats in the future is often a good thing to do! But helpful planning is different from unhelpful worry in that worry doesn’t actually lead to new information or insights that can be helpful. For example, your spouse is on a plane flight and you start worrying about different ways the plane could crash and kill your spouse. This kind of thinking doesn’t actually keep your spouse safe, plus it adds a lot of stress and anxiety to you.” – Nick Wignall

#9: Resisting positive change

Do you feel suspicious of positive changes? Do you feel guilt or shame whenever something good comes into your life? Do you feel like you don’t deserve happiness? If you feel that you don’t deserve anything good in life, that can be another sign of suffering from unhealed trauma.

#10: Fear of Failure

Many people are afraid of failure and it’s considered to be normal. However, if you develop a strong fear of failure, it can be unhealthy and can start to outweigh your motivation to succeed. You may start missing out on opportunities because of this, and it can also lead to insecurity. Being afraid to not always be the best can be instilled in you caused by unresolved trauma that can make you have negative beliefs in yourself and internalize your shortcoming.

#11: Difficulty standing up for yourself and asserting boundaries

If you have experienced trauma, you may have difficulty actively defending yourself, your desires, and your personal boundaries. Trauma impacts the way you understand and relate to your own boundaries.

Experiences that are very painful, or overwhelming, can flood your awareness and you may forget that you can say “no” to others who ask too much of you, don’t see, or respect your boundaries.

When others are pushing and crossing our boundaries, it can cause deep emotional damage so that you start believing that what you want or need or feel doesn’t really matter. Trauma can cause you to replace a healthy sense of your boundaries with a new belief that others are more important than you are, and that you need to keep other people happy and not make a problem.

#12: Being overtly agreeable

Agreeability seems like the quickest way to win approval. However, if you pretend to agree with someone/something just to keep everyone happy, you’re setting yourself and others up for future frustration.

Trauma Healing: Where To Start?

The first step of your healing journey is actually recognizing that you have trauma.

Here are some steps you can take to start healing:

#1: Seek out a therapist

Intuitive psychotherapy can be a good option to dive deeper into the root cause of your trauma.

#2: Be mindful of your body sensations

Most trauma survivors are disconnected from their bodies. By noticing your body sensations you will reconnect with your body and find out where your trauma is stored.

#3: Practice gentle yoga

Yoga practice will help you to come back into your body and start experiencing it as a safe place.

#4: Practice self-love and self-compassion

Self-love and self-compassion are crucial for healing from trauma. Be patient with your progress and be gentle with yourself.

#5: Build safe relationships

Develop conscious relationships with people who respond to you with love, kindness, and acceptance.

The Bottom Line

Trauma is a disconnective disorder, which means it does not usually get healed in isolation. Therefore, if you really want to heal from your trauma, you need to be connected to others. Then you create a new sense of self and a new future which involves redefining yourself in regards to meaningful relationships. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Give yourself time to fully heal and be happy!

Healing through your past trauma could be a long process but there are signs of change and growth along the way. It’s not always easy to see the progress because it could look so small and inconspicuous most days, but there are telltale signs that can help you to see even the smallest progress.

There are individual differences, of course. Each of us is healing from different traumas and suffers from different emotional wounds. In this article, I will share with you 10 signs that you are healing that are based on broad generalizations so you can just choose those that fit you personally.

What Is Emotional & Psychological Trauma?

Emotional and psychological trauma is the result of extraordinarily stressful events that shatter your sense of security, making you feel helpless in a dangerous world. It can cause upsetting emotions, memories, and anxiety that won’t go away easily. Also, emotional trauma can leave you feeling numb, disconnected, and unable to trust people.

Traumatic experience often involves a threat to our physical or mental safety. In fact, any situation that leaves you feeling overwhelmed and isolated can potentially result in trauma, even if it doesn’t involve physical abuse.

Thus, it is your subjective emotional experience of the event that determines whether an event is traumatic. The more scared, helpless, unsafe you feel, the more likely you are to be traumatized.

A potentially traumatic event is more prone to leave us with longer-lasting emotional and psychological trauma if:

• we were unprepared for the event
• the event occurred suddenly
• we felt powerless to prevent the event
• the event occurred repeatedly (for example, child abuse)
• if the event involved extreme cruelty
• if the event occurred during the childhood years

Each of us has our own unique experiences. We all are healing from different traumas and suffer from different emotional wounds. But whatever your trauma is, there are general telltale signs that you are healing. Now let’s take a look at them!

10 Signs That You Are Healing

Here they are – 10 signs that you are healing.

#1: You have accepted that you’ve gone through something difficult

The most important thing to do on your healing journey is actually to acknowledge and accept that you’ve experienced a life-changing moment that has impacted you. This is when the healing process starts. Instead of denying this experience or pretending that it wasn’t a big deal, you accept that your life, mind, body, relationships, or the way you see the world has shifted from that point.

#2: You welcome support

You are open to support and help in different ways whether it’s from friends, family members, energy healers, or therapists. You finally allow yourself to release the need to carry your burdens alone.

#3: You don’t feel ashamed of your trauma

You stopped trying to bury your trauma deep inside of you so that you are not left vulnerable. You allow yourself to feel vulnerable though it may feel uncomfortable at first. Over time, it becomes easier and easier to open up. You are not drowning yourself in shame anymore for everything that has happened to you. You are not trying to ignore your trauma. Instead, you are opening up so that your emotional wound can finally heal.

#4: You are learning to manage your emotions

Instead of allowing your emotions to control you, now you’re learning to manage them. With time, you start seeing how you’re becoming able to anticipate stressful situations and come up with strategies to deal with them. You become more proficient at calming yourself down rather than being purely reactive.

#5: You can recognize and cope with your triggers

In the past, different cues in the environment could have predictably, if unconsciously, set you off. Now you’re consciously aware of all the triggers and know how to cope with them.

#6: You feel more in control of yourself

You let go of self-blame and self-criticism. You chose to stop being a victim. This allowed you to take control over your life, your emotions, and reactions. The less you feel like the trauma controls you, the more you feel in control of yourself.

#7: You can set and enforce your boundaries, and respect other’s

Your past trauma used to make you wrongly see boundaries as a sign of rejection, or confuse boundaries with walls that keep people out. Your healing self is able to recognize healthy boundaries, both those of others and your own. Now you see boundaries as a sign of your ability to connect with others in healthier ways.

#8: You feel safe in your relationships

Trauma can leave us feeling unsafe in close relationships or certain triggering situations, so it makes sense that it might be difficult to trust another person and open yourself up after experiencing trauma. When dealing with trauma, it can be painful to feel caught between feeling unsafe in relationships but still desiring relationships with others. If you noticed that you feel safer in your relationships and it becomes easier for you to trust others, this is a clear sign that you are healing.

#9: You forgive and see yourself as whole

You know that your traumas and emotional pain are only a part of your journey on Earth. All your experiences on this planet are designed for learning and growing. And your trauma is one of such experiences. By forgiving yourself and others for all the pain you’ve been going through, you are releasing all that negativity that was making you feel broken. This is how you start seeing yourself whole again!

#10: You feel comfortable expressing your feelings

You’re not hiding your feelings anymore. Now you feel comfortable sharing whatever you feel you need to express. You can freely and openly talk about your trauma, your emotional wounds, and everything that has happened to you in the past that has created that traumatic experience. You also feel comfortable about the ways that have helped you overcome your trauma and the healing techniques that you’ve been using.

The Bottom Line

When bad things happen, it can take a while to get over the pain and feel safe again. And although healing from your past trauma may look like a long and slow process, there are signs of change and growth along the way. Sometimes these signs are almost invisible but it’s important to notice and celebrate them.