Do you feel guilty or excessively responsible for your parents? And, does this over-concern meddle with your ability to tap into opportunities either professionally or romantically now that you are an adult? Well, an adolescent or young adult who is uneasy about leaving home, or feels less supported upon return is probably growing in an enmeshed family. The same applies to spouses, friends, or colleagues in an enmeshed relationship. If you find yourself in such a relationship, the first step to freeing yourself from this reliance is by understanding how it started and pinpointing its tell-tale signs.

What Is Enmeshment?

Enmeshment is a term used in family therapy circles to define relationships with unclear or intertwined boundaries. It is a disruptive interplay whereby a family member sees the blurriness as a sign of remaining loyal, loving or feeling safe. Simply put, you are a highly empathic person with low boundaries.

The Causes

Now, two people may become enmeshed following events that force one of them to be over-protective of the other. For example, parents with children recovering from a sudden illness, an accident, or a traumatic experience. They see it necessary to take charge of every aspect of the child’s life.

This intervention is welcome at that time because it promotes healing. However, the parents often get stuck and continue interacting with the children that way into their adult life. Consequently, the young adult becomes trapped, guilty to express any views that will contradict the parent.

The Implications

An enmeshed relationship may disrupt your spiritual, emotional, and mental growth. This may lead to complications like eating disorders, lack of autonomy and individuality, or becoming an easy target for narcissistic partners. 

10 Signs You Could Be in an Enmeshed Relationship

You can tell you are in an enmeshed relationship if you or your loved one depicts any of the following signs: –

#1: Your Lack Your Own Identity

A person in an enmeshment relationship has their identity and worth dependent on fixing others. You hear phrases such as: –

• You need to see things my way for us to be okay
• I need to fix you for me to be okay
• The other person has to be okay for me to be okay
• I need to rescue you from your emotions
• Someone else needs to rescue me from my emotions
• I cannot tell the difference between my emotions and those of others

#2: Feeling guilty when pursuing your interests

Do you love cooking but are now working as a banker or an office employee, to please your parents, friends, or spouse? If you made this decision to avoid shame or the guilt feelings you have, you are in an enmeshed relationship with your loved ones.

#3: Feeling anxious when separated

If the thought of being away from your loved one gives you jitters, you could be over-dependent on them. Here, you are used to the other person to the extent that you doubt your ability to make the right choices when independent.

#4: Pegging your happiness on your partner

If you know what makes you happy, but consciously decide to set it aside for the sake of your spouse or parent, you could be in an enmeshed relationship. For example, a son may forgo a well-paying job in another state to stay close to the parents. Or, a wife may postpone starting a family to free the husband to travel the world and build his career.

#5: Set your priorities to march your partner

Often, partners have conflicting priorities. However, they come to a compromise to maintain a healthy relationship. In contrast, one person in an enmeshed relationship pushes back their priorities, to give room for the other. And, they may even own these new priorities subconsciously.

#6: Compromising your commitments for the sake of your partner

In a marriage where there are no clear emotional or physical limits, a wife may find herself “echoing” what the husband says or feels; with total disregard to her cares. This wife does this subconsciously to please the partner, or try to cope in the union.

#7: Your relationship isolates you from other family members and friends

Persons in an enmeshed connection feel ultimately and exclusively loyal to each other, to the extent of isolating themselves from outsiders. For example, an adult from an enmeshed family may view a fiancé as a threat to their bond with their parents or siblings.

#8: One person oversteps, ridicules, or shuts down the other’s boundaries

The bossy partner in an enmeshed relationship sees no limit to how far they can interfere in their partner’s life. Hence, they ignore any suggestions that they could be overstepping their limits.

#9: You highly value the close-knit relationship

Enmeshed relationships demand unreasonable loyalty. In turn, the parties feel obliged to be extremely close and dependent on each other. For example, a child growing up with a single mum or dad may assume the role of a surrogate spouse to the surviving parent.

#10: You feel trapped, helpless, and out of control

Enmeshed relationships make you feel responsible for the other. Yet, they leave you unable to help yourself. You base your emotions on your spouse, child, or friend.  In the process, you become trapped and helpless.

Tips for Setting Boundaries When in an Enmeshed Relationship

Do you suspect that you are in an enmeshed relationship? If so, here are some tips to help you form healthy boundaries: –

• Understand that, it is not your duty to sacrifice your life for the sake of your parent or family. Instead, strive to exercise a degree of caring that allows you to be free to live as a separate person.
• Create your private time and space.
• Learn the art of saying “No”.
• Practice self-care to overcome low self-esteem.
• See a counselor who understands enmeshment.

Conclusion

We all can live our lives with passion and purpose. Yet, when we make life decisions out of obligatory guilt, we miss out on a chance to self-fulfillment. You can also tell if enmeshment applies to you by the way you feel guilty, anxious, overshadowed, or over-dependent on the relationship. Strive to set clear boundaries by prioritizing your privacy, self-care routines, and seeking professional help.

We all love a good compliment now and then and we love to compliment others. But have you ever stopped to think about how often your compliments are based solely on appearance? In this article, I want to talk about non-physical compliments that are not used too often, however, it is such compliments that can contribute to the higher form of conscious communication. I believe that if we shift our focus from a physical appearance to the unique qualities that each of us has, we can build a more conscious society that recognizes not just the body but also the soul and the spirit of the individual.

Let me explain what I mean by that.

What’s Wrong With the Compliments That Are Based On Physical Appearance?

Of course, there is nothing wrong with physical compliments, and especially what woman doesn’t enjoy a compliment from their husband or partner. The problem comes about when we begin to believe that our physical appearance is our most important attribute as a woman and our primary expression of femininity.

I don’t know about you but to me, to be admired only for my appearance is no admiration at all. It’s objectification that shows me that my spiritual and intellectual qualities are not being recognized and my personality is being reduced to the level of my physical appearance. Mere things display the entirety of their value on the surface. We can look at a piece of jewelry and say it’s pretty, or a coffee table and think it’s cute, and have that be all that it is. Some people even refer to cars as sexy.

However, we need to remember that humans are complex beings with layers of interesting details, distinctive qualities, and unique experiences. Therefore, to reduce the worth of a woman to only what she looks like is not really a compliment. Although, there are women who are fine with that I find that it is becoming increasingly important to elevate our consciousness and understanding around the expression of the divine feminine.

Women have been taught to revel in the attention of men. Men have been taught that we should be flattered by their attention. Even, in the conscious community, some women are being objectified not just by men but even by themselves. They may use the term “sexual expression” or “sexual freedom” whereas it is still another word for “sexual objectification”. You see, sexual energy has nothing to do with your physical body. You’re not releasing this energy by showing naked parts of your body but rather you’re wasting it.

We are multi-dimensional beings and our physical expression is not only the densest form of expression we have but also the most temporal. As awakening conscious beings who desire to fully participate in the unfolding of our own spiritual evolution, we must begin to put more focus on the higher expressions of femininity while simultaneously honoring our physical form.

Be the Change

I’m not really blaming men for seeing women in a certain way, and, in reverse, I’m not blaming women for seeing their bodies as tools for getting attention. It’s not really that important who started that and why. But you can be the one who can start changing this perspective.

No matter if you are a man or a woman, you can start using non-physical compliments to draw people’s attention to other qualities of themselves and others rather than focus on their looks. By giving non-physical compliments you can help people to recognize their spiritual nature, their unique energy, and the vibrations that they radiate. When we start appreciating such things and let people know that this is what we really value in them, it will make a big shift in the collective conscious.

I don’t speak for all people — just myself and those like me who wish to be viewed as all that we are.

I get it though – it may be difficult or awkward to think of compliments that aren’t about physical appearance because, for many of us, that’s all we really know. Therefore, I have created a list of non-physical compliments that may inspire you to focus on deeper things when you compliment someone.

I don’t know about you, but I personally would much rather receive any of these non-physical compliments than “you look pretty” or “you are so sexy”.

Non-Physical Compliments

1. The world needs more people like you.
2. You inspire me.
3. I love how you see the world.
4. It’s easy to be myself around you.
5. You bring out the best in me.
6. I admire how open-minded you are.
7. The world would be a better place if everyone had an ounce of your compassion.
8. You have a beautiful soul.
9. The way you support and serve others is so inspiring.
10. You inspire me to be a better person.
11. I am proud of you.
12. You make me feel comfortable to be myself.
13. I constantly learn from you.
14. You’re really going to make a difference in the world someday.
15. It’s obvious you put a lot of work into this.
16. Your kindness is beautiful.
17. You have a really refreshing perspective.
18. I love how you speak your mind.
19. You inspire me to show up authentically.
20. I never get tired of being around you.
21. Your dedication to self-growth is inspiring.
22. I feel like I can tell you anything.
23. You are a good friend.
24. I always feel awesome after talking to you.
25. You are so good at being creative.
26. Your light shines so brightly.
27. I admire how you stand up for your beliefs.
28. You are truly making a difference.
29. The way you treat others is invaluable.
30. You are a ray of sunshine.
31. I love how vulnerable and authentic you are.
32. You have amazing communication skills.
33. I admire how honest you are.
34. You always make me feel seen, heard, and understood.
35. I can be totally relaxed with you.
36. Your vulnerability is powerful.
37. I look up to you.
38. You are an incredible friend.
39. I love how you follow your heart.
40. You are one of the bravest people that I know.
41. I admire how deeply you feel.
42. You are such a good listener.
43. The way you speak to people with kindness is heartwarming.
44. You restore my faith in humanity.
45. I never feel judged by you.
46. You always speak with gentleness.
47. I love your creativity and ability to create such beautiful things.
48. The way you treat people is beautiful.
49. You have a calming presence.
50. I admire your resiliency in the face of everything you’ve been through.
51. Your presence fills the room.
52. I love your confidence.
53. You are so understanding.
54. I admire your independence. You’re not afraid to pave your own path and speak your mind.
55. You are kindness personified. From your actions to your words, there is so much kindness in you.
56. The time we spend together means a lot to me.
57. You have a great personality.
58. Knowing you makes my life better.
59. Your passion is contagious.
60. You always have the best ideas.
61. I love the way your mind works.
62. You’re one of the most intelligent people I know, so I can totally rely on your opinion.
63. I admire your integrity.
64. You always give the best advice.
65. Your tenacity boggles my mind.
66. You are so talented at what you do. I know you may not get the praise you deserve, but I see your talent.

The Bottom Line

Modern society has taught us to appreciate purely physical/material things. It is a challenge to start seeing people beyond their physical form and embrace new values. But I believe that only when we start showing people that our values about them lay beyond their looks and material possessions they have, can we move a step closer to the soul consciousness. I pray that in the future people will stop spending thousands of dollars on plastic surgeries and expensive clothes just to get the attention and start investing their energy in developing the qualities that will move them closer to the Divine.

Mudras (hand gestures) came to us from Hindu and Buddhist cultures. These gestures, despite their apparent simplicity, are striking in their results. With their help, people gain divine protection, improve their health, raise the level of well-being, and even attract love into their lives. This article will share with you 5 love mudras that will help you to attract love and manifest a harmonious relationship.

If you’re looking for improving your romantic luck, attracting the right partner, or bringing harmony to your relationship, read on!

What Is Mudra?

Mudra is a symbolic gesture often practiced with hands and fingers. Connecting the fingers in certain combinations, you can activate the meridians and direct energy throughout the body, and restore the flow of energy. Thus, each position of the hands has its own meaning and can benefit us if we learn to use this knowledge correctly.

How Do Mudras Work?

Different positions of the fingers have the ability to close or clear the energy channels. In addition, performing this or that mudra, we affect the biologically active points of the palms and fingers.

Mudras are invented for the correct redirection of energy in the body, for the control of prana, and for changing the psycho-emotional state. Also, with their help, you can eliminate problems in the body and in the mind by pressing on particular acupuncture points.

Each finger of the hand corresponds to certain energy. And each phalanx of each finger is responsible for a specific part of the body.

The index finger is associated with knowledge, wisdom, and self-confidence. It is connected to our life force.

The middle finger is responsible for patience and the ability to control feelings. This finger is connected to the heart and Anahata chakra.

The ring finger is responsible for health and vitality. This finger is connected to the respiratory and nervous systems.

The pinkie is associated with a creative component of the personality and the ability to see beauty. This finger is responsible for the pelvic organs.

The thumb is responsible for our ego, will, and logic. Also, this finger is associated with wisdom, mind, and awareness.

In addition, each finger is connected with different parts of the body and internal organs. For example, the upper phalanx of the thumb is a “projection” of the head. The ring and middle fingers correspond to the right and left foot, and the pinkie and index fingers correspond to the right and left hand.

By performing mudras with your hands, you definitely stimulate those parts of the body and organs that are directly connected to the energy channels that pass through the palms and fingers.

Fingers And Elements

Each finger is associated with one of the 5 elements.

Thumb connects us to the Fire element (Agni).

The index finger is associated with the energy of the Air element.

The middle finger is responsible for the Ether.

The ring finger connects us to the energy of the Earth.

The pinkie represents Water.

Thus, by performing mudras, you redistribute the energy in your body. You regulate its flow through the opening and closing of energy channels as you do when practicing Hatha yoga. The only difference is that in Hatha yoga you achieve this effect by taking different body poses whereas in mudra practice you do the same but with your fingers.

The thumb, representing the element of Fire, is considered the main finger in Yoga mudra. With whatever other finger the tip of the thumb comes in contact with, it will strengthen the element that this finger or a combination of several fingers represents.

How To Perform Love Mudras?

No special preparations are required to perform the mudras. You just need to take a meditative pose, choose one of the asanas (Sukhasana, Vajrasana, or Padmasana) and while you are meditating, you can easily hold the mudra. Or, you can simply relax, sit comfortably and begin to perform the mudra.

You can perform mudras anywhere: when you’re riding on public transportation, when you are listening to music or watching a movie, etc. Mudras have one very attractive factor: whether you are focused on their performance or not, whether you deeply believe in their power or not – they will work anyways (regardless of the situation and your mood).

Love mudras are recommended to be performed daily. The duration of the practice should be 5-15 minutes.

5 Love Mudras

#1: Ganesha Mudra

Named after the Hindu Elephant God Ganesha, this mudra is believed to invoke his energy as the remover of obstacles. People turn to Ganesh in the hope of gaining wealth and receiving wise advice. If you are experiencing difficulties in your family life and romantic relationships, it is time to resort to Ganesha mudra.

This powerful love mudra stimulates the Anahata chakra (Heart) and can, therefore, be considered a heart-opening practice. With regular practice, this mudra may evoke strong feelings of warmth and brightness in the heart area. As a result, you become more open and gain self-confidence. This mudra helps to settle quarrels and build trust in your relationship.

Instructions:

Bring the palms together in Anjali Mudra, before swiveling each hand so that the fingertips point towards opposite elbows. The right palm should be facing towards the body, the left palm facing away. Once in this position, slide the hands back until the fingers lock together and grasp each other. The thumbs simply rest on top of the little finger of the opposite hand. The hands stay at the level of the heart as they are energetically pulled apart without releasing the grip.

#2: Padma Mudra

Padma Mudra is a symbol of purity, light, and beauty emerging from the darkness. By practicing this beautiful mudra you’re opening yourself to the light and coming to a realization that the greatest sense of steadiness in life is an open heart. Hence Padma mudra helps you to open and balance your Heart Chakra (Anahata).

This mudra also helps to heal a “broken heart”, strengthens unconditional love for all living beings or for a particular person, opens the heart, helps to attract a soul mate, drains out the misunderstanding, and helps to release tension.

Instructions:

Take a cross-legged position. Bring the base of the palms together at the heart center, touching the thumbs and pinky fingers together. Spread the rest of the fingers out like the lotus flower opening toward the sunlight. Close your eyes and take several deep and long breaths.

Visualize a Lotus Bud in your heart that is opening more and more with each breath. When the flower blooms completely, it begins to absorb the sunlight, it is filled with love, joy, warmth, and light. Imagine and try to feel how love and compassion for all people are growing in your heart. Visualize and feel that there is so much love in your heart that there is no more room for loneliness, sadness, or any other negative emotions.

To make your mudra practice even more powerful start chanting the following mantra 108 times: Om Padme Padme Mahapadme Padmavati Maye Svaha

#3: Kundalini Mudra

Kundalini Mudra awakens our sexuality and unites the feminine and masculine energy in the body. This beautiful mudra is a symbol of the individual and universal Self merging together. Many schools of yoga and martial arts recognize the great power of our sexuality and Kundalini Mudra is a way of tapping into electric energy that is harbored within the body. This mudra helps to eliminate such problems as impotence, frigidity, and infertility. In addition, it significantly enhances sexual attractiveness.

Instructions:

Form a loose fist with your hands in front of the belly, as low as possible. Extend your left index finger and slide it inside the right fist from below. Place your right thumb on top of the left index finger, while the remaining four fingers of the right hand are wrapped around it, covering it from above.

You can practice Kundalini Mudra three times a day for 15 minutes.

#4: Shiva Linga Mudra

Shiva brings renewal through the destruction of the old, dying world. It represents youth and strength. Shiva linga is the phallic symbol of His power, the source of life. Shiva Linga Mudra represents both God and Goddess. It’s a symbol of the unification of the masculine and the feminine energies – Shiva and Shakti. In this mudra, the right hand with the upright thumb represents the masculine force and the left hand symbolizes feminine energy.

Shiva Linga Mudra helps you to feel grounded; open and balance your Muladhara Chakra. This mudra also helps in relieving anxiety and stress by calming the mind. Women can practice this mudra when they have trouble conceiving a child. This mudra is also used to gain self-confidence, banish depression, and simply get an energy boost. Regular practice of this mudra will make you more cheerful, optimistic, and attractive.

Instructions:

Keep the left hand at abdomen level and in a bowl shape. Let the fingers of the left hand stay together. Making a fist, place the right palm over the left palm. The thumb of the right hand should be extended upward. Hold this mudra for 15 minutes.

#5: Ushas Mudra

Named after the goddess Ushas (the goddess of the dawn) who is said to bring light to the world each morning and banish oppressive darkness. This beautiful mudra symbolizes and harnesses the energy of creativity and life, and setting things in motion. Each morning, Ushas provides us with a new dawn, a new day, and the opportunity to start again.

Ushas Mudra helps to harmonize intimate relationships. It works best when you perform it with your partner. This powerful love mudra generates vibrations of sexual attraction, eliminates problems in the reproductive sphere, increases sexual energy, and deepens intimacy. Its practice helps to harmonize hormones, awaken sexuality, and create pleasure.

Instructions:

Interlace the fingers so that the palms are facing your body, and the thumb tips are touching. For men, it’s traditional to place the right thumb on top, and for women – the left.

Rest your hands on your lap and visualize a dawn sky, peace, quietness, and the hint of a rising sun. As you visualize this, begin to bring into your awareness positive changes you want to make in your life. See yourself living and feeling how you want to live. Make the images in your mind as vibrant and realistic as you can.

Either silently or out loud, chant the mantra Om Ushase Namaha to invoke Ushas’ energy.

Continue the practice for as long as feels comfortable.

The Bottom Line

Love Mudras are a simple yet powerful way to align yourself with the vibrations of Divine love and increase your attractiveness. When you’re practicing Love Mudras, try to stay focused on your intentions and visualize the desired result. Remember that where the intention flows, the energy goes. Therefore, combining love mudras with intentions, visualizations, love mantras, or love affirmations will significantly increase the effectiveness of your practice.