Pearls to Scars: Signs You Are In Love with a Narcissist

7 Signs You Are In Love with a Narcissist Image

Do you get the feeling that you might be in love with an entitled brute? How do you relate to him/her? Does he/she seem too self-absorbed? Are they only but a shadow of the loving and caring person that swept you off your feet not so long ago? You could be in love with a narcissist.

It’s not always easy to identify the signs you are in love with a narcissist. Whereas a narcissist may compliment you with all the words, you want to hear, this warmth is usually short-lived. If not careful, persons in love with narcissists may end up getting hurt.

Nevertheless, what are the telltale signs you are in love with a narcissist? This is a quick guide!

7 Signs You Are In Love with a Narcissist

#1 They Are Extremely Superficial

Narcissists always look attractive and strive hard to maintain their public image.  They are concerned about their appearance and that of the people around them. Once they make you a target, they will do all they can to win your heart.

Consequently, they always seem perfect on your first dates. For example, they will say and do things as you’ve always pictured in an ideal partner. Unfortunately, as you get to know them, you’ll realize that all this facade is only skin deep.

#2 They Feel Entitled

Signs You Are In Love with a Narcissist Image

Narcissists expect you or those around them to give them special treatment, and nobody else. For example, he/she may pick up a quarrel about the way you prioritize the kids over him. He/she unreasonably expects you to drop everything else and attend to them when they are around.

They may also ask for passwords for your bank accounts, social media accounts, or keys to your house.

Equally, they will blame you for any problem that you are experiencing as a couple. To the extreme, a narcissist may feel that it is their right to inflict harm on you as a way of correcting and molding you into this fantasy lover they want.

#3 They Live a Fantasy Life

A narcissist lover may be the most romantic person you have ever met. He/she will take you out for candlelight dinners, exotic holiday destinations, or a midnight walk along the beach. They are the type that flood your social media accounts with romantic photos.

Equally, they have a passionate sex life during the courtship period. As they plan their fantasy life beyond the courtship, they may start talking about your future wedding, honeymoon, and number of kids you should have.

All these fantasies seem irresistible until he/she starts going cold on you. They soon realize that you are just an ordinary person who may not fit in their fantasies. Hence, they may opt-out of your wedding plans at the last minute sighting boredom.

#4 They Twist Facts to Their Benefits

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Narcissists will quote faiths but corrupt them with a contrary fact. This way, they want to justify their abuse towards you. For example, if you are going through a healing phase or seek a deep connection with your significant other, the narcissist lover may encourage you to be vulnerable to heal or connect with them. Such facts are true.

However, he/she only wants to inspire you to put your guard down. That way, they’ll have a chance to attack or use your details against you.

In addition, they may tell you that forgiveness is necessary proof of showing that you are spiritual. True. However, this narcissist lover will only raise this fact to encourage you to overlook their immediate abuse towards you. Ideally, you should forgive when you feel you are ready, not when under pressure to feel right.

#5 Narcissist Will Accuse You of Being Aggressive

Has your partner ever told you that you have so much fear or ego, especially when you question their actions? This reaction is typical of a narcissist. Your worry may be because of what you see happening around you. You know you are not safe. 

However, anytime you point out bad behavior, the narcissist will be quick to label you as aggressive. Specifically, these partners are trying to deter you from setting clear boundaries against them.

For example, they may threaten to shame you in front of other people by revealing secrets that you once shared with them. They will do all they can to prevent you from correcting them for the abuse they inflict on you.

#6 They are Coercive

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A narcissist likes controlling their partner’s behavior. For example, when he/she wants to groom you for future abuse or avoid responsibility for their actions, they may say you are judgmental towards them.

Equally, they will try as much as possible to prevent you from putting a label to their acts. If the narcissist is a teacher or a leader in a shared group, he/she may try to convince other members to also shame you for the choices you make.

#7 They Lack Empathy

A narcissist has no empathy. Still, they will do all they can to make you think that they are an empath. What they say will not always match what they do. He/she seems to try too hard to be kind, caring, or gentle with you. Therefore, check for these contrasts in the narcissist’s manner.

Other Signs You Are In Love with a Narcissist

Narcissistic Abuse Image

Narcissist lovers may discourage you from wearing makeup, saying that it is against your spirituality. They may want to dictate your tone of language and choice of words even when you are alone with them.  Indeed, they want you to see things only in their perspective.

In addition, they like to shift blame to you for what is happening. They will call you names or use spiritual words to make you feel that they are better than you are and that you are not good enough for them.


Narcissist lovers enjoy manipulating their partners. Luckily, with the above information you can now know if your partner is one. The Signs you are in love with a narcissist are easy to see. Equally, if this person has no empathy, states facts but in a twisted way, seeks for opportunities when you are vulnerable so that they can strike the hardest, or just don’t take criticism lightly, then, you could be in love with a narcissist. Your safety comes first in any relationship. Ensure you take action to stay safe.