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The Games Narcissists Play: How to Avoid Being the Victim

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The Games Narcissists Play: How to Avoid Being the Victim Image

Known for their exaggerated sense of self-importance, narcissists think that the world literally revolves around them. Their actions, attitudes, behavior, and the language they use determine their state. They draw their main satisfaction from making other people see them as persons of great importance who know everything. They do not care whether their actions may have an undesirable effect on others.

Who is a Narcissist?

Narcissists are smitten with an idealized self-image, which they wear around other people to escape reality. Deep down they are wounded creatures who are just too scared to admit it to themselves and other people around them. To compensate for their injuries, they create a “perfect person” who is flawless in an attempt to make themselves feel better.

Psychotherapy has proven to work just fine for the majority of people diagnosed with this condition. It’s not that narcissists are very dangerous people, but spending too much time around them might have adverse effects on you. Their alter-ego may begin to make you feel like a failure or worse still stop you from living to your full potential.

The games narcissists play may also leave you vulnerable to other strangers. Narcissists live on making other people feel less achieved about themselves and regard them as some form of a superhero.

The Mind Games Narcissists Play

Narcissists play mind games to manipulate our thinking. Long encounters with them may even change your perceptions about certain aspects of life. Be on the lookout for the following signs:

Curiosity

toxic person image

Narcissists want to have in-depth knowledge about their next victim. During conversations, they will always ask questions about you, which they will exploit later to their advantage.

Superiority complex

These con artists will feed you tones of information on topics you are not familiar with. The intention is to show how smart they are and how dumb you are. In the end, they will have exerted a form of influence over you, which is always their primary objective.

Creating fear and aggression

This is the weapon they use to get people’s attention and manipulate them eventually. Fear attracts negative energy, which is where they thrive best. They will also use your insecurities to mask their own. Though sad to say, deep down narcissists feel like the ugly duck. To cover this up and make themselves feel better, they will consistently bring up your insecurities during the conversations to make you feel inferior and bad about yourself.

An act of innocence

Narcissists Image

Narcissists are the sly fox, and that is how they end up taking the blame off them whenever they mess up. They have perfected the art of pretense so much that it is almost impossible to notice when they are putting on a show and when they are sincere (which rarely happens).

Narcissists will also twist information with made up stories that portray them as the helpless ones. They are always shifting the blame for their actions onto others including you.

Exerting unnecessary pressure on you

The primary goal is to render you emotionally unstable so that you can’t make independent sound decisions. You will notice once they start trying to comfort you right after ticking you off; though this might seem elusive since the emotional charge is in play.

How to Deal with Narcissists

How To Deal With Narcissists Image

You don’t have to be completely helpless against narcissists. Below are strategies to help you play their own game against them to prevent them from using you. The first step, however, is to identify these games narcissistic play first.

  1. Whenever they confront you with multiple questions, look them straight in the eyes. Eye contact makes them face the other direction. Only a sincere person can maintain a clear eye gaze.
  2. Change the conversation. Narcissists want to know a great deal of information about you. Don’t be too quick to give it to them. Slow them down by asking questions about themselves or changing the topic whenever they shift focus on you.
  3. Question more. Once they start showing off with figures and statistics, question the sources of their information. You will notice some skepticism, and gradually they draw away from you. This is one of the most effective ways to protect yourself from the games narcissists play. Don’t readily take in everything they present to you lest you fall victim to their scams.
  4. Have self-confidence. Narcissists prey on people who are less confident and have esteem issues. Work on your confidence so that when they come blowing their sense of self-importance, you can quickly shut them off.
  5. Loosen up a bit. If you get emotionally unstable quickly, try lighting up the mood. Whenever a narcissist tries to destabilize your emotions, go ahead and say something funny to shift the focus.
  6. Preserve your personal space. Don’t let just about anyone invade your personal space. If you have had enough of someone, it is prudent to tell them so or just distance yourself from them.
  7. Stay calm and decompress. You can do this either through meditation or just taking some time off. It is normal that there will always be people with more achievements than you have made. Do not let this get to you. Sit back and re-strategize on ways of living to your full potential without necessarily comparing yourself to others.
  8. Identify your insecurities. We all have a sense of insecurity one way or the other, and this is perfectly human. Know what your insecurities are and if you can’t fix them don’t let someone use them against you. This may be difficult, but once you get the hang of it, you become a stable, productive being.

The Bottom Line

Life comes with its challenges. The games narcissists play might overwhelm you, but you have to outsmart them. Eventually, its either you put them in their place, or you fall prey. To help these people, encourage them to attend psychological counseling. But as for you, stay safe from the games narcissists play.

Katya Ki is the Founder of SOLANCHA Magazine, a Metaphysical Expert, a Reiki Master, and Human Rights Attorney. She has been studying Eastern metaphysics, cosmology, and esotericism for almost 20 years now. And she's still discovering new knowledge, which is hidden in ancient teachings. During her pilgrimage to the monastery of Saint Catherine in Egypt, she discovered the SOLANCHA System. This is how the SOLANCHA journey started!

Awareness

Earth Empath: 10 Signs You Could be One

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An empath easily absorbs both the emotional and physical energy of people and things around them. As an earth empath, you easily get intimate and attuned to the natural world and earth changes. We like to imagine that everyone is connected to the Earth in one way or another. However, as an earth empath, your connection and emotions to Earth are highly intense.

Simply put, if the Earth is happy, an earth empath is also pleased. If the Earth is sad or going through destruction, you can feel the emotional and sometimes physical burden.

So, how do you know you are an earth empath? 

10 Signs Of an Earth Empath

These are the ten subtle signs that you could be one.

#1: Your body changes are aligned to the environment

When an earth empath is in nature, they feel their best. You could be one if you feel energized while in the forest, close to a waterfall or ocean. Being out in nature uplifts an earth empath. On the contrary, an earth empath can also feel disconnected, sick, and down whenever they are in places such as polluted cities. The negative effect of human activities on the environment makes them sick to the core.

To an earth empath, an ideal holiday would not be to visit the large cities. They would rather be out in nature to recharge themselves.

#2: You are deeply connected to the Universe

connection with Earth image

All nature sounds around you catch your attention. You love waking up to birds chirping. You do not have to see the birds, but the sounds make you feel calm. It is more than just the perfect view of a waterfall. Yes, the perfect view gets you, but the sound of the waterfall is so calming, and you can feel connected. Simply put, you feel connected to the universe with all other senses.

#3: You are sensitive to weather changes

If your moods and spirits are severely affected by weather, you could be an earth empath. Many people are gloomy and inactive in winter; that is normal. However, as an earth empath, it is more than that. You feel the winter blues at a more severe intensity. Winter makes you sick, and you can’t help but think of summer all winter long. On the other hand, you feel joyful and energized during summer.

#4: You can foresee natural disasters

Before a natural disaster happens, something always seems off for an earth empath. You can feel it when a storm is about to happen. Some people can smell the pungent aroma of ozone in the wind before a storm. Others are so connected to the Earth that they will foresee an earthquake or a tsunami. Some earth empaths also report feeling an earth shift even in their sleep.

#5: You like absorbing Earth’s energy 

The atmosphere significantly affects the energy and mood of an earth empath. If you are in nature, you absorb the energy to recharge. You feel livelier because you can absorb nature’s energy. You would rather be out in nature than be at home or in the office. 

#6: You react to solar flare

A solar flare is a fierce burst of solar radiation that makes the sun shine brighter than usual. Solar flare impacts the Earth’s magnetic fields. Earthquakes, tornadoes, or volcanic activities often occur after a solar flare. Solar flares can be intense. As an earth empath, you may react to this harshness by experiencing:

  • Anxiety, 
  • Heart palpitations, 
  • Mood swings,
  • Depression,
  • Panic attacks,
  • Bipolar disorder.  

You react negatively because the Earth is also responding

#7: Earth heals you 

nature empath yoga image

As an earth empath, the Earth is your medicine. Simple activities in nature like watching the full moon or stars or even walking barefoot on the beach make you feel calm. The Earth makes you feel better mentally. Sometimes, earth empaths may realize that their connection with Earth has healed some of their physical pain. If Earth heals your mental and emotional pain, you could be an earth empath. 

#8: You love being around water bodies

Earth empaths love being in nature in general. However, being around water bodies is just so relaxing to you. An earth empath loves the sound of moving water. It makes them feel calm and safe. They also love to swim in natural water rather than in swimming pools. You could be an earth empath if you love lakes, waterfalls, streams, or oceans. 

#9: You can feel Earth’s pain 

Well, everyone gets sad when a natural disaster happens. However, such things are burdensome to an earth empath. Other things, such as human activities affecting the Earth, make you sick; for example, going to the ocean and finding it flooded with plastic is devastating for you. 

Moreover, you do as much as you can to try and save the Earth. It is not something that feels like a responsibility to you. It just comes naturally that you want to make the planet happy. 

For example, something like sustainable fashion comes naturally to you. And, it is not because every other influencer is talking about it. It is because you understand how fast fashion negatively affects the Earth.

#10: You have a strong urge to connect with Earth constantly

If you always take every opportunity to connect with Earth, you could be an empath. For instance, you would choose to work in nature over an office job to connect with the planet at every opportunity you get. If you work in an office or at home, you cannot stop thinking about when you will get out for a walk in the woods. The urge for you to connect with nature is just so strong. 

And whenever you get the opportunity to, you don’t hold back. For example, you will get off your shoes and walk on the grass. You will lie on the ground and enjoy the connection. 

The Bottom Line

An earth empath feels like themselves when they are out in nature. Being stuck out in structured walls makes them feel restless. The good thing about being an earth empath is the connection you get from it. Connecting with the planet comes with many benefits, including the healing it brings to our mental wellbeing. One sure way to know you are an earth empath is if you will grab any opportunity to be in and connect with nature. 

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Awareness

Conversational Narcissist: 8 Signs You Could Be Dealing with One

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Conversational Narcissist Image

Have you talked to friends or family who always make every conversation about themselves? Whether you are talking about penguins in Antarctica or natural disasters, they will have a way to shift the conversation to be about themselves.

Did you have a hard day at work? Theirs was even much harder.

Did you get a promotion at work? They, too, just landed a new job.

If the conversation seems to be over 80% about them, you probably are dealing with a conversational narcissist.

Who Is a Conversational Narcissist? 

A conversational narcissist always turns any conversation around and makes it about themselves. If the conversation is steered from them, they are no longer interested and would step away from it. In a fast-paced world, a conversational narcissist may come out as someone eager to get their points across quickly without trying to make any genuine connections.

However, they may do this so tactfully it may take you ages to realize what kind of person you are dealing with. They, too, are maybe doing it unconsciously. They may not know how they are conversing with people around. And if you are not familiar with the signs of conversational narcissism, you will not spot them, and sometimes you may even blame yourself.

Signs of a Conversational Narcissist

narcissist talk image

Some psychologists note that someone can exude signs of a narcissist without being one. And they also note that it is more common than people know. We discuss the signs of a conversational narcissist below. If you spot these in a person, you can take steps and set healthy boundaries to protect yourself. We, however, recommend that you leave everything else, including diagnosis, to psychologists.

This is true because conversational narcissism in a person is often intertwined with other mental problems such as anxiety, so you want to leave every other thing to professionals. 

 Now, let us get straight into signs that you are dealing with a conversational narcissist.

#1: One-sided Conversations

A conversational narcissist cannot seem to move away from an agenda around them. You will realize that a conversation with them appears to be more of a monologue or a soliloquy. And, they seem not to notice that the conversation is no longer a dialogue. They make the conversation a monologue and will continue regardless. They will not let you chip in your thoughts.

#2: They Interrupt a Lot

Interrupting when someone is speaking has always been wrong. However, doing it once or twice in a conversation is pardonable. If someone is constantly interrupting people in conversation, something is questionable.

And why do they keep interrupting? At first, if a conversational narcissist interrupts you, it may come out as if they are being resourceful or being helpful. However, if you look at it, after several interruptions, you will realize that they interrupt only to steer the conversation towards themselves.

#3: They Cannot Stop Talking

Narcissists are often seeking approval and favor from other people. With this, they will always talk to win people. And their conversations end up sounding more like lectures than conversations. They will keep going on and on. And sometimes, the discussion aims to show how smart, unique, or very knowledgeable they are.

However, you want to differentiate this from a chatty and extroverted person. A talkative person would most likely recognize that they speak a lot. And, they talk more to contribute to the subject at hand. A conversational narcissist would unconsciously hijack the conversation and turn it around to make it about themselves or something that favors them.

#4: They Are Not Interested in Talking About Anything Else

For the conversational narcissist to stay engaged in the conversation, they have to be the one talking. If you are talking, you have to be talking about them. Anything out of this, you will quickly realize that they are distracted, uncomfortable, bored, contemptuous, and visibly uninterested. The world has to revolve around them, or they are out.

#5: Know It All

Narcissists Image

Do you know anyone that keeps trying to prove that they are right? They could be a conversational narcissist. And, if they receive any form of opposition, they will argue and keep pushing even if it is much easier and logical to let go. The conversational narcissist has to appear like an expert in any conversation. And, they have a strong urge to correct people, even try to win their opinions. It is an arrogant pattern that they will exude in every conversation.

However, you need to know that some people are chatty and know-it-all regarding emotive subjects. If they only appear as experts when talking about, say, cars or books, they could just be passionate about it. If they appear to be experts in every conversation, it is questionable.

#6: Constant Self-praise

A conversational narcissist would repeatedly talk about their achievements. Don’t get it wrong; there is nothing wrong with talking about one’s achievement. However, if the person keeps praising themselves without being prompted, they are probably looking to gain the favor of an audience. Their urge to keep praising themselves is because they suffer from a superiority complex.

#7: Giving Unsolicited Advice

Sometimes, people just want to speak out about what they are feeling. However, if you do it to a conversational narcissist, you will realize that they offer unsolicited advice. And, the advice is not only unasked for; it is often self-serving and sometimes actively destructive.

This is because they were not actively listening at first. They will therefore give unasked advice to showboat and not try to help.

#8: Manipulating The Conversation

A conversational narcissist likes to take the lead in conversations. And they use that position to steer the conversation to serve their agenda and look like they have been through it all. If you have done something, they have done it twice. And, you will find yourself wondering how you got to that point in a conversation with no connection to the initial agenda. 

Every conversation has to be something transactional-like from which they can benefit.

Final Thoughts

Being stuck or even speaking to a conversational narcissist can be lonely. You will never get a chance to express yourself or even get your thoughts out of your system. It is even more frustrating as they keep shutting you down. 

If you find yourself talking to a conversational narcissist, first, do not take it personally. You can, however, choose to empathetically express what you feel towards their self-centered attitude. If it does not work, you are better off limiting your exposure to them. It is better to take time and find someone you can have a dialogue with rather than receiving constant monologues from the narcissist.

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Awareness

Do We Live in A Holographic Universe? The Science Might Shock You

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Holographic Universe Image

The holographic universe theory is a tenet of quantum gravity that suggests that the universe consists of a hidden order that connects one point to another. This, therefore, implies that there is a subtle connection between events and places that could be perceived as unconnected.

A holographic universe also relates to a virtual or simulated universe. A virtual or simulated universe or sensory experience is just a perception produced by an artificial reality.

Look around you. You will get the illusion that you live in a three-dimensional world filled with visceral shapes, patterns, and textures. You also feel that you can interact with these 3D objects and receive an instant subjective feeling in your body of their texture, weight, depth, temperature, and size. As a result, you get a sense of the reality of the physical space around you and your location within it.

However, according to some physicists, all this could be an illusion. What if this perception of depth, space, and location was merely a construct of your mind?  What if it was only sustainable from moment to moment? And, what if the shape of the world and its solidity is a hallucination produced by your brain?

Is Holographic Universe Idea A Product of Our Mind?

conscious mind image

The holographic universe idea implies that our perception of three dimensions is a product of decoding information from a flat, two-dimensional world. This means that the 3D perception could entirely be the product of your brain’s interpretation.

Think of it like this: 

There are realistic and moving computer games constructed and embedded in a CD or hard drive. Yet we perceive them as realistic and moving. This is the same way the holographic universe idea works. We perceive the two-dimensional objects, textures, and patterns as three-dimensional. 

Gerard’t Hooft first proposed the holographic universe theory. It was, however, given a precise string-theory interpretation by Leonard Susskind. Susskind combined his ideas and Charles Thorn’s ideas to develop modern principles of hologram universe theory.

According to Leonard Susskind, a three-dimensional world of everyday experience exists. And the universe is filled with stars, planets, galaxies, and people. He further states that this makes the universe a hologram where an image of reality is cited on a distant 2D surface. 

Where Did the Idea That the Universe Is a Hologram Come From?

We have already mentioned that the black hole is a major inspiration behind the quantum hologram principle. Now in 1974, Stephen Hawking found out that black holes emit specific amounts of radiation over time, contrary to what was previously thought. The black hole should disappear as the radiation fades away from the event horizon of the black hole’s periphery.

However, Hawking’s idea prompted what is referred to as the black hole information loss problem. It has been thought that it is impossible to destroy physical information. This is because all particles retain their original form. However, if they change, the change only impacts other particles. Therefore, the first set of particles’ original state could get interfered with at the end.

It is much simpler to perceive it this way

The result will be tiny pieces of paper when you feed a stack of documents into a paper shredder. The entire document no longer exists, but the information still exists on tiny pieces of paper. And the document has been cut into small pieces of paper; it has not disappeared completely. This means that you could reassemble the tiny pieces of paper and still know what was written on the document before the shredding.

This same thing was thought to happen with particles.

But a problem seemed to arise again

If a black hole disappears, the information present in the particles appears to be sucked in. This is where the works of Leonard Susskind and Gerard’t Hooft come in. They proposed that when an object is sucked into a black hole, it leaves behind some 2D imprint that is encoded on the event horizon. Later on, when the radiation leaves the black hole, it will pick up the imprint of the data left behind. This means that the information is never really destroyed.

And the calculations indicated that you could store enough information on a 2D surface to perceive or describe 3D entirely. According to Susskind, we can independently think of a hologram as a 2-dimensional piece of film that can encode all the necessary information into a 3D region space.

So, how did this all move from a black hole theory to the whole universe?

Relating The Hologram Idea from The Black Hole to The Entire Universe

black hole hologram image

The physicists’ works did not prove that a black hole was a hologram.

However, earlier on, Susskind noted that perceiving the entire universe as a 2D object which only looks 3D might help resolve some deeper issues in theoretical physics. And he later found out that math was working well whether it involved a planet, a black hole, or the entire universe.

Later on, Maldacena also illustrated that a hypothetical universe could be a hologram. His hypothetical universe is referred to as anti-de Sitter space. Maldecena’s hypothetical universe has a curved shape over considerable distances to simplify things. This differs from our universe, which is supposedly flat.

Final Thoughts: So, Is the Universe a Hologram?

A hologram is a flat surface, or a 2D surface, that appears to have an additional dimension and depth, making it seem 3D when viewed. And there are a lot of physicists that mathematically believe that the universe is a hologram. This theory is not far-fetched. As much as we appear to live in a 3D universe, it may actually be 2D. A 2D surface contains all data needed to describe our universe. This is how they make characters in animations.

At first glance, it looks absurd. But it may be true that we live on a flat surface that appears to have depth. When physicists incorporate this in their calculations, complex problems such as the black hole and the nature of gravity and quantum mechanics become much easier to solve.

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