As per Festinger’s (Leon) Cognitive Dissonance theory, we all have an inner urge to hold on to our beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors, even when these value systems get challenged later in life. We want to make sense of our actions by avoiding any disharmony in our thought process. Yet, everyone goes through a stage in their lives where one or more of their belief systems get questioned. Will you hold on to what you believe even when you feel you could be wrong? What happens if you do so?
Let me introduce you to the concept of cognitive dissonance. It is an inevitable process that can hinder our success and chances of living a healthy life. That’s why you must know how to detect it and take appropriate steps to overcome it.
What is Cognitive Dissonance?
Cognitive dissonance is psychological stress that happens when one has an inconsistent or conflicting thought process. Here, the individual has value systems, attitudes towards life, and others, or makes decisions which seem to contradict one another. For example, the person may be a vocal advocate against smoking, yet they are chain smokers themselves. Or, a person struggling with obesity understands the kind of health complications that come with the condition, yet they make no effort to change their eating habits. It is an ongoing mental battle on what to do and not do, followed by regret or guilt that brings about the stress.
Tell Tale Signs of Cognitive Dissonance
#1: A Nagging Discomfort
Do you feel squeamish when you think of doing something? For example, you’ve just heard that Apple has a release of the latest iPhone. You rush to the stores to check it out. The price tag matches your three months savings for a smart TV. If the thought of spending your savings on this new phone sends a sharp discomfort to the pit of your stomach, you could be experiencing cognitive dissonance. You know buying the new phone is an impulse decision. And, chances are, you already have a phone with all the functionalities that you need.
#2: Avoiding Direct Conflict
How do you handle conflict when it happens? Do you change the subject to avoid a confrontation or do you postpone the matter and agree to address it at a later date or time? Similarly, do you pretend like you never notice the big elephant in the room, even when everyone else expects you to act? All these are typical responses of someone going through cognitive dissonance. Here, you’d somewhat opt for least resistance than acknowledge and deal with the mental conflict in you.
#3: Obey My Instructions, But Ignore My Actions
We’ve all heard of the phrase, “Do as I say, not as I do”. Well, that’s a clear sign of cognitive dissonance. For example, it could be a professional financial planner who is wallowing in debt. Such finance experts earn a living by teaching others about financial freedom, yet, they never implement these principles in their lifestyles. A 2002 publication in the Journal of Financial Research noted this behavior amongst mutual fund investors.
#4: Mood Swings
Cognitive dissonance creates an emotional imbalance that can alter our moods at the snap of a finger. This roller coaster of emotions leaves the individual sad for no apparent reason. And, when the mood swings recur, it becomes challenging to maintain long term relationships. Also, be on the lookout for the following signs: –
- Struggling with low energy levels
- Lack of interest in what you once enjoyed
- Over-eating or under-eating
- Irritability
- Over-indulgence in alcohol or drugs
- A feeling of worthlessness
- Lack of concentrations
#5: FOMO
FOMO refers to the Fear of Missing Out. It is a social anxiety that makes someone feel like they are missing out on being somewhere or with someone. For example, a person going through FOMO may buy an expensive car to fit in with a clique of wealthy friends. Today, this social anxiety mostly arises from obsessions with trends on social media. Due to cognitive dissonance, the individual feels a need to stay connected to the other person. Hence, they do all they can to buy stuff, visit places, or do things that are similar to this other person.
#6: Guilty Feeling
When we do what we know is wrong or against our value system, the after-effect is a sense of guilt. These guilty feelings are hard to suppress. They dent our self-image and can manifest in the following ways: –
- Struggling to maintain professional relationships
- Engaging in offensive jokes
- Become disengaged, spending more time battling intrusive thoughts
- Over-react to minor criticism
- Become paranoid
- Compromising on your goals for success
#7: Constant Shame
Alongside guilt is a shame, self-defeating behavior that makes us feel sad, empty, frightened, lonely, and even tired. Indeed, the list of toxic after-effects of regret is endless. Often, it is described as the Homer D’oh syndrome, whereby, the guilty feelings trigger a compounding effect of other negative emotions. Typical signs include: –
- Something weighing down on the mind yet you cannot pinpoint it
- Feeling responsible for the entire universe
- Walking around with a “leave me alone” look
- Knowing you want truce but find it hard to ask for it
- Sudden lack of motivation
- Constant negative self-talk
#8: Dismissive Chatter (Rationalization)
A person going through cognitive dissonance tends to rationalize their thoughts and decisions, even when they know the true facts in the back of their mind. For example, when in an abusive relationship, the victim may try to justify why their partners are mistreating them. Yet, they know a healthy relationship ought to be free of abuse. This victim tries to be optimistic that some good will come out of the bad situation. Only that, the end is not always positive.
Conclusion
If you sense that you are going through cognitive dissonance, there is usually a way out of this stressful cycle. First, acknowledge and understand what you are going through. Focus on a course of action that will help you align your thoughts and change your behavior. For example, practicing mindful meditation can help you reprogram your subconscious mind and change the conflicting belief. Also, find an accountability partner or a mentor who can help you achieve conscious discipline goals. Finally, stay informed for better decision making.