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Existential Depression: 10 Symptoms You May Have It + Self-Help Tips

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Are you or your loved one talented or gifted in a special way? If so, do you often find yourself out of place with regards to your current circumstances? You know, it could be a traumatic event that reminded you how little control you have over the universe. Or, your perception of life may prompt you to question your very existence on earth. If this resonates with you, you could be going through existential depression.

What is Existential Depression?

Existential depression refers to the spontaneous realization of absurdities, inconsistencies, or inappropriate behavior in others, hence, provoking unanswered questions regarding our purpose in life. These are instances when we lack meaning to what is happening around us. As a result, we also lack soul connections with those around us. It is these questions lacking proper answers that can get you depressed.

Who Does it Happen To?

highly sensitive people image

Now, most talented or gifted persons are intelligent, super sensitive, and unusually perceptive. They are quick to spot any out-of-norm behaviors or inconsistencies, hence prone to existential depression. For example, an oversensitive person may fall victim to peer criticism. And, anyone with a strong sense of humor may struggle to contain themselves when they encounter jokes intended to attack others. Still, existential depression can happen to anyone at any time.

The Effects

Anyone undergoing existential depression struggles to find meaning in life. In turn, the person experiences sadness that negatively affects their psychological well-being. Whether you are gifted, talented, or not, you should be on the lookout for any of the following 10 signs of existential depression.

The Symptoms of Existential Depression and Coping Skills

#1: Intense Thoughtfulness

Like any other form of depression, existential depression begins with intense thoughts about the meaning of life. Like, do you often get lost in your world trying to find meaning in different aspects of life?

Self-Help Tip: Unwanted intrusive thoughts can be overwhelming when you feel worthless. Fight these obsessive thoughts by maintaining a journal. Go through the journal to find any logical pattern. Chances are, these thoughts make no real sense, and writing them down will help you have a better perspective of what is happening to you.

#2: Insomnia

insomnia image

When you have intense and conflicting thoughts, they may keep you awake at night. It is an interpersonal conflict playing out in your mind, hence the sleepless nights. It can be a vicious cycle because insomnia compounds the conflicting thoughts even further.

Self-Help Tip: Talk to someone. Focus on events, not personalities to resolve the conflict.

#3: Very Few People Understand You

Think about it. Have you ever shared what you feel or see with your colleagues or friends and they just don’t seem to get it? It can be frustrating blending in when your peers don’t share your perspective on a lot of things.

In turn, you may internalize this loneliness, thinking, your buddies do not like you. Worse still, you may create your comfort zone, away from the crowds, and shut yourself out from the rest of society.

Self-Help Tip: If most people do not share your vision or feelings, stop making assumptions. Instead, listen more. Here, you want to understand the other person’s point of view to communicate your ideas more effectively.

#4: You Are a Victim of Your Own High Expectations

What Is Existential Depression Image

Often, we hold high expectations of ourselves and others. However, some people use these expectations for self-harm. For example, think of a working mother who wants to be a super mom. This parent neglects a self-love routine vital for spiritual growth.

Self-Help Tip: Practice self-care routines that express your loving-kindness to yourself and those around you.

#5: You Are Obsessed With Justice and Fairness

We value social justice. But, what if you take it upon yourself to ensure that everyone gets fair and just treatment?  It can be frustrating when the injustices are beyond your control.

Self-Help Tip: Redirect your obsession for fairness and justice into a meaningful career. You can be that passionate employee or business person that upholds an ethical workplace culture.

#6: The Have and Have-Nots Gaps Bother You

If you find the gap between the rich and poor, what is and what should be extremely bothersome; it is a clear sign of existential depression. See, a deficiency in your personal life or inequalities in society trigger a yearning to correct the situation. But, if the triggers are beyond your control, it can dampen your mood, leading to stress and anxiety.

Self-Help Tip: Shift your focus from consumerism. That is, find ways to fill in the gaps in your life or society without relying on monetary solutions. For example, you may volunteer once a week to feeding the poor or visiting the sick in the hospital.

#7: Your Love and Curiosity is Overwhelming

Negative emotions that block your chakras image

Often, we get curious and obsessed over the ones we love. However, it can be devastating when this person does not reciprocate our feelings. Others invest their passions without doing any due diligence to gauge the market preparedness. When the business venture fails, they blame themselves.

Self-Help Tip:  Enroll in therapy sessions to manage your obsessive feelings. A professional therapist will investigate the root cause and help you manage feelings to form healthier relationships.

#8: Hypocrisy Gets To You

How do you react to someone who is behaving hypocritically? Do you often speak the truth, putting them off regardless of how others will take it? Only constructive criticism is acceptable.

Self-Help Tip: Turn the moments of hypocrisy into a learning opportunity. For, often when we criticize others blatantly, we also attain some level of hypocrisy.

#9: You Abhor Arbitrariness

Existential Depression Symptoms Image

Most talented or gifted persons can’t stand boring routines, arbitrary instructions, or unfounded explanations. They want to make sense in everything they do. Hence, when they find themselves forced to take up arbitrary duties, they slip into an existential depression.

Self-Help Tip: Identify an aspect in your life where you can have a direct positive impact. For example, offer help to an elderly home, or work with minority groups to help them have better access to vital services.

#10: You Crave For Autonomy and Freedom

Finally, anyone with an independent or strong-willed mind prefers working in autonomy and freedom. However, you may experience existential depression when you have to confine your creativity due to your current circumstances. For example, a creative graphic designer working under a rigid boss who has no appreciation for their work. This designer undergoes existential depression as they have to accept and execute instructions even though they do not believe in them.

Self-Help Tip: Pursue hobbies and careers that give you the freedom to work independently.

Conclusion

Do you suspect that you are going through existential depression? Use positive affirmations to remind yourself why life has great meaning. Also, maintain a gratitude journal that helps you counter any obsessive negative feelings. Still, seek professional help because overwhelming existential depression is hard to overcome on your own.

Inspirational quotes

Charles Bukowski Quotes That Will Blow Your Mind

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If you haven’t heard about Charles Bukowski, you missed a lot! He is one of America’s best-known contemporary writers of poetry and prose. In this article, we have collected 36 most mind bending Charles Bukowski quotes that will make you rethink the way you see life and the society you live in.

Here they are 36 mind-blowing Charles Bukowski quotes!

36 Charles Bukowski Quotes

#1

“If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don’t even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery–isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you’ll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you’re going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It’s the only good fight there is.” ~ Charles Bukowski

#2

“You begin saving the world by saving one man at a time; all else is grandiose romanticism or politics.” ~ Charles Bukowski

#3

“There is nothing that teaches you more than regrouping
after failure and moving on. Yet most people are stricken with
fear. They fear failure so much that they fail. They are too
conditioned, too used to being told what to do. It begins with
the family, runs through school and goes into the business
world.”
~ Charles Bukowski

#4

“The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a dictatorship, you don’t have to waste your time voting.” ~ Charles Bukowski

#5
Charles Bukowski Image

“You’ve to die a few times before you actually live.” ~ Charles Bukowski

#6

“The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts. While the stupid ones are full of confidence.” ~ Charles Bukowski

#7

“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must live.” ~ Charles Bukowski

#8

“Those who escape hell however never talk about it and nothing much bothers them after that.” ~ Charles Bukowski

#9

“The less I needed, the better I felt.” ~ Charles Bukowski

#10

“How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 8:30 a.m. by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?” ~ Charles Bukowski

#11

“What matters most is how well you walk through the fire.” ~ Charles Bukowski

#12
Charles Bukowski quote image

“The free soul is rare, but you know it when you see it – basically because you feel good, very good when you are near or with them.” ~ Charles Bukowski

#13

“The nine-to-five is one of the greatest atrocities sprung upon mankind. You give your life away to a function that doesn’t interest you.” ~ Charles Bukowski

#14

“We must.. We must bring our own light to the darkness.” ~ Charles Bukowski

#15

“Oh, I don’t mean you’re handsome, not the way people think of handsome. Your face seems kind. But your eyes – they’re beautiful. They’re wild, crazy, like some animal peering out of a forest on fire.” ~ Charles Bukowski

#16

“An intellectual says a simple thing in a hard way. An artist says a hard thing in a simple way.” ~ Charles Bukowski

#17

“People are strange: they are constantly angered by trivial things, but on a major matter like totally wasting their lives, they hardly seem to notice.” ~ Charles Bukowski

#18

“Dogs and angels are not very far apart.” ~ Charles Bukowski

#19
Matrix society quotes image

“Beware of those who seek constant crowds; they are nothing alone.” ~ Charles Bukowski

#20

“Do you hate people?”
“I don’t hate them…I just feel better when they’re not around.”
~ Charles Bukowski

#21

“I often carry things to read so that I will not have to look at the people.” ~ Charles Bukowski

#22

“The problem was you had to keep choosing between one evil or another, and no matter what you chose, they sliced a little bit more off you, until there was nothing left. At the age of 25, most people were finished. A whole god-damned nation of assholes driving automobiles, eating, having babies, doing everything in the worst way possible, like voting for the presidential candidates who reminded them most of themselves. I had no interests. I had no interest in anything. I had no idea how I was going to escape. At least the others had some taste for life. They seemed to understand something that I didn’t understand. Maybe I was lacking. It was possible. I often felt inferior. I just wanted to get away from them. But there was no place to go.” ~ Charles Bukowski

#23

“I wanted the whole world or nothing.” ~ Charles Bukowski

#24

“I was a man who thrived on solitude; without it, I was like another man without food or water. Each day without solitude weakened me. I took no pride in my solitude, but I was dependent on it. The darkness of the
room was like sunlight to me.” ~ Charles Bukowski

#25

“People run from rain but sit in bathtubs full of water.” ~ Charles Bukowski

#26
life is kind quote image

“Life’s as kind as you let it be.” ~ Charles Bukowski

#27

“I guess the only time most people think about injustice is when it happens to them.” ~ Charles Bukowski

#28

“People empty me. I have to get away to refill.” ~ Charles Bukowski

#29

“Nobody can save you but yourself and you’re worth saving. It’s a war not easily won but if anything is worth winning then this is it.” ~ Charles Bukowski

#30

“Beauty is nothing, beauty won’t stay. You don’t know how lucky you are to be ugly, because if people like you, you know it’s for something else.” ~ Charles Bukowski

#31

“If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.” ~ Charles Bukowski

#32

“So it’s always a process of letting go, one way or another.” ~ Charles Bukowski

#33
your life is your life Bukowski poem image

“The Laughing Heart

your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is a light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
know them.
take them.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
in you.”
~ Charles Bukowski

#34

“Goodness can be found sometimes in the middle of hell.” ~ Charles Bukowski

#35

“It was better for me when I could imagine greatness in others, even if it wasn’t always there.” ~ Charles Bukowski

#36
Bukowski Image

“Understand me. I’m not like an ordinary world. I have my madness, I live in another dimension and I do not have time for things that have no soul.” ~ Charles Bukowski

We hope you are inspired by these Charles Bukowski quotes as much as we are!

Please feel free to share our collection of thought-provoking Charles Bukowski quotes on your Social media to inspire others!

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Personal Development

8 Signs You Are a Free Spirit Who Can Never Be Tamed

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If you are a free spirit, chances are you struggle to fit in your family or friend’s circles. That is normal. See, as a true spirit, you value your freedom over complacency. You would rather dictate the terms of your life than conform to societal norms.

Well, this nonconformist attitude to life is never free of cost. You may have to get out of your comfort zone, let go of your societal security, look different, and even suffer harm. But, how do you know if you are a free spirit and not just a rebellious person?

This article will discuss the 8 common signs to guide you.

But first:

Understanding the Free Spirit

A free spirit starts from the mind. You live free of domination from any oppressive thoughts, ideas, or notions imposed on you by others. Unlike rebellion, true freedom is about respectfully liberating your mind and body, to coexist with others at peace.

Likewise, a free spirit will not replace one oppressive thought with another. Instead, this person seeks the truth and lives by it. For example, many celebrities that claim to be free spirits are doing so superficially. They may still ascribe to certain notions that are oppressive to their audience. Like the idea of going organic but allowing the use of plastics from a certain brand.

The Signs

free spirit sigs image

If you are a true free spirit, then you can relate to most of the signs below: –

#1: Strong Desire for Freedom

Did you ever quit a well-paying job to pursue a digital nomad lifestyle that pays less than half of your salary? Your strong desire to be free and set your lifestyle standards indicates a truly free-spirited person. See, free-spirited people make lifestyle decisions that prioritize their freedoms.

#2: Abhor Restrictions

In line with a desire for freedom, free spirits despise any restrictions imposed by others in their lives. If you are one, you could be struggling with committing to a deadline, target, or relationship.

And for the career persons, free spirits hop from one organization to another, dreading to be confined at one company for too long. Here, the free spirit struggles to commit to another person or purpose but looks forward to waking up to new challenges or surprises.  

#3: Welcome Challenges

A free spirit encounters problems like any other person. However, they see the problems as new challenges, not threats. Consequently, a free spirit gets excited, not worried when facing challenges.

#4: Spontaneous

A free spirit comes up with rushed decisions that change the course of their lifestyles forever. For example, they may wake up and decide to shift to a new neighborhood, enroll in the gym, or make a swift financial investment. Or, they may change their minds about getting married, having kids, or setting up their businesses. 

These persons hold no attachment to anyone or anything, hence appearing as unserious. As a result, others find it hard to understand why this person can’t stay consistent. 

#5: Unconventionality

Free spirits do things their way. They question any societal expectations and are the last persons to adopt them. Likewise, they are never intimidated by those around them. Instead, they stick to their decisions regardless of how foreign they sound to the masses. 

#6: Insatiable

A free spirit is insatiable. Your goals are different, settling for a better or unique lifestyle from the one your peers are content with. For example, your dream when clearing college was never a well-paying job, the latest car, and a home with kids. Instead, you think of opportunities that will allow you to try new things.

For example, you could be a die-hard globetrotter even though you may not have the means to travel at the moment. You are the kind of person who is content with living from a suitcase for years as you travel around the world.

#7: Great Achievers, Innovators, Dreamers

Now, a free spirit may appear spontaneous and unserious with life, but they have a clear perspective of what they want to achieve. This person comes up with fresh ideas that promise to solve world challenges. And it is the excitement of this new challenge that fuels their desire to achieve the set goals.

wild and free image

#8: Relentless

Free spirits always seek ways of how to make the impossibilities in their lives possible. For example, they will question why it takes three days and not a day for an online shopping order to arrive at their doorstep. And, they will use the latest facts to question current theories.

In turn, these persons never quit. They appear stubborn, holding on to their ideas until they get the solution they were hoping for.

Living a Fulfilling Life as a Free Spirit

Note that, a free spirit is the best candidate for achieving spiritual awakening. This person is intent on soul searching and questions their existence. Still, the life of a free-spirited person can be a lonely one. If you suspect that you are a free spirit, here are a few tips to live a fulfilling lifestyle:

  • Spend more time outdoors. For example, taking part in dance competitions in the open gives you a chance to free your mind and release any stress buildup.
  • Reconnect with your inner child by working with children. They have great imaginations and love exploring and testing their boundaries. Plus, they enjoy doing role plays.
  • Explore a creative career path like preparing exotic dishes and painting on a canvas.
  • Most free-spirited persons are empathetic, considerate, kind, and loving. In turn, they can be victims of emotional abuse. Protect your emotional wellbeing by setting boundaries on who you interact with or what you explore beyond your comfort zone.

Conclusion

Anyone with a free spirit has the untamable spirit of a wolf. You always want to run free beyond the confines of family or society. You also have a tendency to oppose the normal social rule, being overly independent, and never subscribing to others’ rules. That’s why most free spirits are seen as rebellious.

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Awareness

8 Signs You Are a Victim of a Hovering Narcissist

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Victim of a Hovering Narcissist Image

In this quick guide, we focus on the hovering narcissist. The kind that will do all they can to pull you back into the abusive relationship, as you try to run away from the hurt and pain. Often, we fall into the hands of a narcissistic leader, parent, spouse, or friend without knowing it. You know, this person could be taking advantage of your relationship to manipulate or control you using verbal or emotional abuse. Deep down, you go through unpleasant emotions that are quite confusing. And, you may end up trying to justify the narcissistic behavior as a way to cope. More so, you lose your self-esteem and even fall into depression.

Which Narcissist Are You Dealing with?

Now, if you sense that the person you trust is a narcissist, plan to guard yourself against any potential abuse from them. But how can you tell if the person is a narcissist in the first place? More so, which type of narcissist are they?

The Hovering Narcissist: Who? Why?

A narcissist finds fulfillment in creating drama and victimizing others. Hence, they need their victims around them to fulfill this desire. Moreover, there is a thin line between a genuine partner trying to reconcile a broken relationship and a hovering narcissist luring you back to their control. Can you tell the difference?

The Signs

Below are the 8 signs you could be a victim of a hovering narcissist: –

#1: Random “Love Bombs”

A hovering narcissist is usually in a panic mode, trying to mend a relationship before you exit their lives for good. For this, they may resort to “love bombing” you with lots of random messages or phone calls.

hovering narcissist image

For example:

  • Seeking your opinion about what they are doing at the moment
  • Asking you to send greetings or best wish messages to someone you both know
  • Reminding you how nice you look in the dress or bracelet they bought you
  • Apologizing for sending you “love notes”

These random acts are well calculated; to get you to remember the soft side of the narcissist.

#2: Ignores the Abusive Past

In line with sending random love messages, a hovering narcissist will try as much as possible to make you forget the abusive past. Like you could be nursing a physical or emotional wound, but they treat you like nothing happened. Or, they change the subject of your conversations whenever you bring up their history of abuse.

#3: Holds on to a Dead Relationship

You know the relationship is over. And, you’ve clearly expressed your views to your partner. Yet, regardless of them agreeing with your sentiments, they try all they can to continue relating with you. Like, they will pick up the kids, take you to dinner, or ask you about your favorite movie, pretending that all is okay. In addition, think of the times a fiancé shows up to take your pet for a walk like before, barely a week after you break up.

#4: Entices You with Gifts

Do you love being pampered with gifts? If so, a hovering narcissist will use this chance to shower you with unexpected gifts. For example, this person may never remember your birthday or wedding anniversary. But, when they sense you are about to leave them, they bring you an anniversary gift out of the blues.

#5: Feigns Apologies

apology image

A hovering narcissist is always “remorseful”. However, it is a mere show to convince you to stay. Once you are back, the abuse continues. For example, a hovering narcissistic leader will own up to being too harsh the last time they gave out punishment for your mistakes. Yet, the next time you are in the wrong, the punishment may be worse.

Then, one easy way to identify a fake apology is by observing the narcissist’s reaction when you shift the conversation or turn down their apology. The narcissist will get upset, make dramatic declarations, or even get violent.

#6: Manipulates You through Others

Now, when a hovering narcissist fails to get to you with all their manipulative tactics, they do it indirectly through the people you cherish. For example, a spouse may send a child to intimidate their partner. Here, they may tell the child that the mom or dad is leaving; asking the child to beg the parent not to go. In turn, you feel sorry for the child and opt to stay.

#7: Overpromising and Failing to Deliver

Does your partner complain that you nag them about that exotic trip to the Maldives, moving to a new house, or getting the latest iPhone? Well, a hovering narcissist will suddenly want to fulfill all these requests, “unconditionally”. However, they will not deliver any of these promises. 

#8: Threats of Self-Harm

Some hovering narcissists will threaten to commit suicide, quit their jobs, run away, or harm themselves. Never let these threats get to you. Certainly, the narcissist is just hoping that you will respond by being sympathetic to them. Hence, the best approach is to refer or take them to professional help.

How to Respond to Hovering Narcissistic Tactics

what is overthinking definition image

When your narcissistic friend, spouse, or leader won’t let go of you, here are some things you can do to cope:

  • Ignore the hovering. Zero to minimal contact with the hovering narcissist will protect your emotional wellbeing, and give you time to heal from the narcissistic abuse.
  • If you have to communicate (for example, you need to talk about your children), make it brief and impersonal.
  • Stop being a people pleaser. Instead, start by never idealizing your current relationship. This approach will protect you from becoming an easy victim of a hovering narcissist in the future.
  • Embrace the abusive past; never sugar-coat it. Consequently, you will have a clear perception of what the hovering narcissist is trying to do.
  • Journal your feelings.
  • Seek professional help.

Conclusion                             

A hovering narcissist is an overbearing person. This person fulfills a need to harm you by having you around. Hence, the narcissist will put up an indirect fight to win your heart and force you to stay. And, despite the show of kindness and remorsefulness, narcissism is a personality disorder. The abuser will never change their behavior overnight to please you. It takes a lot of focused therapy to do that. Finally, always guard your self-esteem against narcissists because once you lose that, it’s difficult to continue fighting.

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