Some kids go through a series of events that trigger heavy emotions that they can’t get their heads around. These traumatic events come as a shock, forcing a part of the child’s mind to lock and remain frozen in an immature state. Next, the child grows up acting immaturely or saying things that are not entirely correct. It is almost like another person is talking to them. If you are this grown-up child, you could be dealing with a wounded inner child.
Understanding the Inner Child
The Wounded Inner Child
Note that, we all have an inner child. You know those child-like aspects in our lives. However, it becomes a problem when this inner child makes you behave based on your childhood traumatic experiences. For example, you could be struggling with shame, anger, and fear of abandonment, depending on how your parents scolded you or how your peers bullied you. It is your wounded inner child developing coping mechanisms without you even knowing it.
How Do You Work with Your Inner Child?
Working with the inner child is about locating and healing this wounded child in us. Unlike other healing techniques, the inner child healing practice makes you look at yourself as a child. You take up a parent role and correct misconceptions and unresolved issues that interfere with your lifestyle decisions to date.
Moreover, kids learn by asking lots of questions. Likewise, our healing technique starts by asking the inner child a series of questions about our forgotten dreams, expectations, hopes, and fears. So what are the questions to ask your inner child?
The Dialogue: Re-parenting Yourself
Set aside some quiet time alone. It could be in your study room, besides a campfire in your backyard, or a picnic spot at the park. Set up your relaxing area, then question yourself and give honest answers to these questions: –
#1: What do you wish your parents knew about you?
Did you grow up having poor or no communication with your parents? Were they too strict? If so, what things about you would you wish you could tell them. It could be that you lie only to protect your mom from your abusive dad. And, when you go silent, you don’t mean to be rude. Whatever you hold back against your parents or superiors, now is the time to bring it forth and deal with it.
#2: What gets you excited and happy every morning?
Every child grows up with a passion for what they want to become. Yet, they face adults who discourage them. In turn, the kids end up pursuing careers to fit in and live an average lifestyle. Asking the inner child about their drive evokes those carefree happy feelings kids have.
#3: What would you do if you won a million-dollar jackpot today?
This question helps to bring back your childhood dreams and ambitions. By answering it, you question the things that restrict you from reaching your full potential right now. That way, you can differentiate between actual limits and your fears.
#4: If you were to advise your adult self, what would you tell him or her? What would you want this adult to remember about you?
This question addresses any self-esteem issues you have. It gets you to open up and be honest about how you view yourself vis-à-vis how you would wish those around you see you. The answers help you acknowledge your strengths and accept your flaws. Likewise, you will relate better with your loved ones.
#5: If you were to re-write your life story, how would it read? Who would you want to be the main characters?
If you love storytelling, here is a great chance to look at yourself as an outsider. Rewriting the story of your life takes stock of all your meaningful moments from childhood up to now. Hence, we remind ourselves that we are relevant to our local communities.
Give this story a theme. Is this the theme you wanted from childhood? If not, divert this story to the person you want to be. Do this by making healthy lifestyle changes.
#6: If you were to relocate, where would you want to live?
Deciding about where you live is one of the most important decisions you will ever make. It reflects where you want to make an impact, start a family, establish a career, and grow old. Yet, many adults feel they are a victim of their bad choices. They feel stuck in jobs they hate, relationships they feel out of love, or communities with unrealistic expectations.
Exploring your relocation options helps you see that you can get out of a rat race or make drastic decisions to start your life afresh.
#7: Where do you see yourself 10 years ago?
Finally, permit yourself to go back in time. Think of a moment a decade ago or at a time just before a traumatic experience. For example, did you lose a loved one in the 9/11 tragedy? Go back to a month before that disaster. How were you?
What choices did you make now that you find hard to make today? If this traumatic experience never took place, how would you see yourself today? This final question assesses the impact of the traumatic events in our current life.
Importance of Inner Child Healing Practice
These questions to ask your inner child helps us reconnect with that frozen, immature part of our brains. It takes us back to that traumatic childhood past, highlighting how it is affecting our adult lives. Next, we come up with remedies to recondition the mind to undo all those biased thoughts about ourselves or life as a whole.
More so, inner child healing practices open up a gateway to long-forgotten possibilities, helping us pick up from when we stopped dreaming or being ambitious.
Inner child healing practice is a technique that permits us to heal from the most difficult childhood scars. This healing journey to wholeness must be at a child-like level. It begins with a series of questions to our inner child to connect with it. Once awake, we can open up possibilities and embrace our talents and creativity that lay dormant all these years.