Personal Development

6 Powerful Ways to Embrace, Heal and Re-parent Your Inner Child

Published

4 years ago

November 8, 2018

We as adults minimize our inner child’s desires. We silence their voices and messages. As we grow older into adulthood the weight of worldly expectations and survival requirements diminish our inner child’s presence.

We soon forget that part of us is still very much alive and is still a very big part of who we are. We’re programmed and taught to ignore and abolish this very important aspect of ourselves. Through years of indoctrination and programming, we learn to suppress and forget our inner child.

With all the responsibilities and duties on our plate, we can become hardened, calloused, and insensitive to the very fragile, vulnerable and lighthearted parts of ourselves that live in our inner children. Many of us become addicted to seriousness, structure, and repetitive behaviors. We forget how it feels to be a child: the playful, imaginative, innocence, and softness that comes with our inner child. This aspect of ourselves, though largely ignored, wants to be acknowledged and allowed to be activated.

In this article, I’m going to give you some tips on embracing and healing your inner child.

It’s no secret that many of us have endured painful and traumatic childhoods. But even if your childhood was very happy and supported, we as adults most often times put our inner child to rest. Here are some helpful things you can do to activate and get in touch with your inner child, which can lead to healing old wounds that may have not been resolved or even acknowledged.

inner children Image

1. Visualization and Meditation

A very powerful tool that I use myself, is to find a quiet and sacred place that you feel safe in to revisit and visualize yourself as a small child. For me, this meant uncovering, acknowledging, and coming to terms with some very painful memories of being traumatized as a small child. I took myself back to those most vulnerable moments in time and felt how it felt for my inner child.

This will obviously be emotional and can be difficult to revisit, but the purpose of this is not to dwell in the pain but to acknowledge it and allow ourselves to feel through it, in order to move forward and begin to reassure and comfort your inner child. Give yourself the love and safety you needed as a child. Whatever trauma happened, you can visualize your adult self-clearing and re-writing new stories that involve joy and happiness. Let your inner child know that the adult in you is very capable and loving. Hold your inner child’s hand and coddle them.

This may sound silly and even ridiculous but it’s a very powerful tool for healing. The problem with past childhood traumas is these memories become trapped in our cellular memory, as the pain has most often not been acknowledged or completely felt.

Angela Fitts Gratitude Image

By doing this exercise you can begin to release the trapped emotions by facing the painful parts that still exist and move through them with more ease and grace.

Acknowledgment is powerful medicine and when you combine that with love and gentleness, the combination transmutes dense energies that may be present. Once you are able to revisit and reassure yourself, you can then begin to re-write and re-program more pleasant outcomes and experiences. This doesn’t minimize the trauma that actually took place, but it allows you to empower that aspect of yourself to begin to heal and feel safe. Once you move into this stage you will notice yourself feeling clearer and happier overall.

This does not only apply to those with unpleasant or traumatic experiences as children, but this applies to those with happy and loving childhoods as well. By revisiting your inner child’s sweetest memories you will awaken and reactivate those parts of you that have been dormant.

2. Keep your sense of humor present

We take life and ourselves too seriously. Taking things personally or being too rigid steals our joy. Many people think that by being serious, focused, and structured will ensure some worldly success, but this is not true. We can tap into our inner child by keeping things lighthearted and finding humor in the small things. This is not to say that structure, discipline, and focus aren’t needed as well, but we can have these attributes and play them out with laughter and lightness behind them. Our inner child loves to explore, imagine, and try new things. When we stifle this part of ourselves we become tired, unsatisfied, and lack creation.

Angela Fitts Sense Of Humor Image

There’s a reason why the saying “laughter is the best medicine” remains true. When you see children at play there’s always laughter present. When you find yourself being super serious, remind yourself that life is what you make of it and that you can choose to let things roll off your shoulders and you can choose to release the stress we sometimes resign ourselves to as part of our adult life. By committing yourself to remain positive and finding a sense of humor in your day to day interactions, you will feel happier and more content with whatever comes your way. In fact the more you practice and choose lightness the more it becomes your nature.

3. Let your imagination run wild

This is another part of ourselves that as adults can become underused and lost. As children, we use our imaginations all of the time. The brain of a child, for the better part of the first 7 years of life, is in a theta state. This is imagination. This is when we create magical things. This is when we would lose ourselves in playful spaces. This part of ourselves is very important to keep active. This is how we co-create and bring into manifestation our dreams, intentions, and goals.

Be your own Cheerleader Image

Allow yourself time and space to lose yourself in your imagination. No dream is too big or unrealistic. Allow yourself to see things in your mind’s eye that make your heart swell with happiness and allow the tears of joy to flow. Our thoughts are electric and our emotions are magnetizing. This is how you create the timelines you want to play out in your life. Don’t ever downplay or diminish your imagination, it is a very powerful tool.

4. Do things you did as a child

So many times we blanket our lives with adult responsibilities without expressing and participating in things we loved to do as children. We take on this belief that those days are over or we place physical limitations on things we used to do as children. We think it would be foolish, or we feel ashamed for doing the things we loved as kids. The truth is that the more we express ourselves in things that brought us so much joy as a child, we will find that they still bring us as much, or more, joy as adults.

For example, I love headstands, cartwheels, and handstands. I practice and do them all the time as a 47-year young woman! I will do them ‘til I am physically unable to! I love to color, I love to make arts and crafts, I love to watch children’s animated stories, I love to climb trees, I love to play dress-up, I love to dance. These things make my heart happy and allow me to tap into that youthful energy and expression. By doing these things I feel it keeps me feeling young, active, and lighthearted. I feel restored and peaceful.

Angela Fitts tree image

Embrace the things that made you feel happiest as a kid and revisit your childhood favorites. Don’t worry about how you look or what others may think, just do it and your heart will come alive. Some things may be more difficult to do than when you were a kid but don’t let that stop you from practicing, playing and having fun with it.

5. Stay in touch and present with your inner child

Once you realize that your inner child is always with you and a very big part of your adult self, keep being present with it. Make it a habit to check in and honor that aspect of yourself regularly. Include, comfort, and engage your inner child. Move beyond your ego telling you it’s silly, childish and unimportant. This is only an ego-trap that keeps you small minded and taking yourself too seriously.

Encourage others and your partners to play with lighthearted experiences. By embracing your inner child it will entice those around you to join in the fun. It will deepen your connections with others. It will heal your heart, help you to stay in the present, increase your creativity, boost your immune system, release stress, alleviate depression and anxiety, keep you youthful at heart, elongate your life, and enhance your quality of life.

Angela Fitts Inner Child Image

6. Practice living in flow

What exactly does this mean? There’s a natural order and universal flow taking place in every moment. As children our resilience, presence, and acceptance to what is happening in every moment is remarkable. We were more likely to allow what is. We as adults are always practicing control. We are always planning out our lives and leave little to no room for flow in our day to day lives. We become rigid and unwilling to change or welcome unexpected occurrences. The reality is that life is in a constant state of flow and change. The problem comes when we won’t allow ourselves fluidity. By being in flow you step into the higher stream of consciousness that is at work. This is when real-life magic happens and unfolds.

For example, you could have your day completely planned out with very specific details and tasks or events and intentions that you want to take place. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that but if plans get interrupted or that universal flow has something else in order, knowing and discerning when to allow for other things to take place or move in a different direction is key. Being in flow is like being in the zone, things are magnificent. Don’t be afraid to leave room for magic and spirit orchestration to work in your life. Let go of expectations and have faith that things are playing out in divine order for your highest good. Even when things don’t quite seem like they are, trust that you are always being developed to become who you are meant to be.

Up Next

Binaural Beats: Benefits And Harm For Your Health, Meditation And Work

Don't Miss

10 Lessons From Dalai Lama That Will Make Your Life Easier

Angela Fitts

Angela is an Empowerment Ambassador, Health and Wellness Advocate. She is a student and an example of holistic, spiritually enhanced and youthful living. Angela empowers people to live the heart's path and to believe that life doesn't require one to age quickly and live a life of illness. Writing articles for SOLANCHA Magazine is one of the ways she expresses her passion for inspiring people to become a happier and healthier version of themselves.

Personal Development

What is Ego Death? How and Why Does It Happen?

Published

3 weeks ago

November 8, 2022

SOLANCHA STAFF

Humans associate death with darkness, sorrow, and pain. It is just something many people are scared of. However, ego death goes the opposite way. The death of your ego comes with enlightenment, self-exploration, and going beyond the glass ceiling.

In simpler terms, the ego is the sense of self typically developed in earlier ages. It is a biological tool that helps us understand ourselves as separate beings. The problem appears when the ego takes on a level of programming that begins to impede the quality of life we live. This is why many people believe it needs to die.

But first:

What is Ego Death?

Many people think that ego death happens when we strip ourselves of the ego and live without it. No, the ego cannot die. What happens is that it becomes submissive to the awareness and direction of our higher selves so that it no longer controls our lives. The experience temporarily and instantaneously goes beyond and above our identities. By shifting your awareness above the perspective of the ego, you begin to realize that you are not the things you have identified with before.

The death of your ego comes with much self-awakening and peace; you want to experience it. It is one of the most beautiful experiences you could have if you truly understand your spiritual path. Such an experience, however, may feel horrific for people who do not understand their spiritual path or people who resist the experience.

Why Seek It?

People are now going out of their way to experience ego death. It has become part of the spiritual journey for many people.

Here are some reasons to seek an ego death experience:

#1: Improved self-control

People often think that ego death is just for people unsatisfied with their mental wellness. Even if you are confident with your state, its demise can change your perception, eventually leading you to much clarity and success.

#2: Easier time breaking even

Our perception and identification limit us from going to other levels. Our ego keeps us in a mindset that limits us. It may feel like we are living in an unknown shell. Detaching yourself from the ego or shrinking it will allow you to crush your current sense of self that limits your abilities.

#3: Acquire a new you

We often have a rigid way of identifying ourselves. You will easily break even if you realize you differ from the sum of the labels you previously put on yourself. You will be in a much more powerful position to question things you believe in and go out of your way to seek peace and clarity. It is an excellent tool for breaking world constructs such as race or religion, which are often deeply rooted in mind and consciousness.

Stages of Ego Death

The death of the ego is different for everyone. This all starts from the triggers of the first stages and later the intense stages before you fully settle into the awakening. The first triggers may differ, but as the experience progresses, the stages become identical.

Here are the stages you will most likely go through:

Stage 1: Spiritual awakening

The ego is deeply rooted in your spiritual being. The first step is your awakening from the ego’s power over you.

Stage 2: Dark night of the soul

In this second stage, you seek to understand things. This is after you accept the awakening that comes with the first stage. This stage is characterized by questioning things that now appear different from what they did before. It can be a confusing stage as many things now start revealing themselves to you.

Stage 3: Exploration and curiosity

In the third stage, you explore more to fill the void in your soul and being. This stage allows you to live in a space of more peace and enlightenment.

Stage 4: Soul growth and enlightenment

This stage allows you to settle in your newly found peace and awakening. Here, you have explored yourself profoundly and now know more about your true self. You will realize that you have already let go of many of your old patterns and habits. This stage has no fighting and battling with your ego, as you already have your new true identity.

How to Achieve Ego Death?

You need to understand some things before you seek to kill your ego. For instance, why do you want to experience it? Understand that a spiritual ego is not something casual. You want to go in entirely understanding why you want to do it and the consequences of taking the path.

Many people intentionally seek ego death. Deliberately seeking it can be dangerous; proceed with caution. Ensure you are ready for it before you dive right in. If you are sure of your intentions, you can take the paths that lead to the death of your ego.

With all this imperatively said and done, you can proceed and trigger an ego death. Here are some of the ways people do it:

Attending spiritual retreats and workshops that guide you through it;
Performing specific types of breathing exercises and meditation practices;
Following the teachings of spiritual teachers rooted in spiritual awakening;
Entering altered states of consciousness, which may involve meditation, dancing, chanting, and other mystical paths;
Getting involved in mystical, spiritual traditions that offer pathways to ego death.

What Does the Death of Ego Feel Like?

You might want to know what ego death feels like before you go for it. Your feelings will definitely be intense. It may feel horrific or exciting, or an alternation between the two. People often experience both extremes while undergoing this death.

What Next?

After an ego death comes rebirth. A new you will be born with no barriers that limit your journey and abilities. Such death powerfully awakens the mind making your life change forever.

Ego death is not the end of spiritual awakening but rather a new beginning of deeper purpose and meaning.

Personal Development

Self-limiting Beliefs: How to Overcome Fear and Break Our Limitations

Published

1 month ago

October 28, 2022

SOLANCHA STAFF

Earlier in life, I was always afraid of senior career positions. I used to apply for junior and entry-level jobs even after many years of employment because I didn’t believe I could handle the senior ranks. Yet each time a senior position became vacant, I was the first person the boss would contact. They saw my potential, but I could never see it because of my self-limiting beliefs.

Eventually, I would find a reason to decline the promotion. What are you struggling with?

Believe it or not, we all battle with self-limiting beliefs. Are you fearful of signing up for that mortgage because you’re so scared you might not pay it fully? Or is committing to a relationship an uphill task for you?

In this article, I will discuss this fear within us and share practical tips for overcoming these self-limiting beliefs.

What are Self-limiting Beliefs?

Fact: There are no limits to what you can achieve except for the limits you set in your mind. And this is what sets humans apart. Some people become iconic leaders while others amass massive wealth, yet some still struggle in life. This is one way of looking at it. For you and me, think of the small challenges you encounter in life. Are you truly incapable of handling them, or are you just afraid of trying and failing?

Self-limiting beliefs are self-developed thoughts, consciously or subconsciously, that we use to convince ourselves that we can’t do something because we are afraid of failing or getting hurt. Consequently, we don’t even allow ourselves to try. Such limiting thoughts are one of the biggest preventers of achieving our goals. And that’s why we need to learn to control and eventually overcome them. So how do we do that?

Practical Steps to Overcome Self-limiting Beliefs

#1: Identify Your Limiting Belief(s)

What are you so afraid of and why?

Are you scared of getting married because your father abused your mom?
Are you afraid of getting kids because your parents abandoned you when you were little?
Are you afraid of management positions at work because you feel voiceless?

Identifying your self-made limits is your first step to overcoming them. You will need to use your intelligence and accept vulnerability, more like healing your inner child.

#2: Work On Your Confidence

There are several ways to develop self-confidence. The easiest is the use of positive affirmations. The idea is to re-condition your mind into believing what you had otherwise categorized as impossible. You could also apply the law of attraction. Anything you focus your mind on without a shred of doubt eventually comes to be. If you constantly think about boldness, confidence, and assertion, you eventually become bolder, more confident, and more assertive.

Self-confidence enables us to move out of our comfort zone. We are no longer afraid to try because we believe in our potential. And even if you fail, you believe you can win tomorrow. Besides, you become your own cheerleader and no longer seek approval from others. That’s how powerful we become when we are confident from the inside.

#3: Set New Goals

Be realistic and set achievable targets. However, always have one clear goal at all times that you’re working towards. That goal should be the most significant on your list. Also, note that big goals are good, but they can demotivate you. Divide these goals into smaller tasks that you can easily achieve.

For every achievement, your mind registers a win and naturally handles the next task with ease. This way, you find yourself accomplishing tasks you never imagined were possible and consequently become unstoppable in achieving your lifelong dreams.

#4: Challenge Your Thoughts

Why do you give yourself bad labels such as “I am stupid, slow, worthless, ugly, useless,” etc.? Is it because someone in your past called you that? Did they really have a solid basis to give you that label? How well do they know you? Have they seen the woman or man you have become lately?

Asking your inner self such questions helps you to look at the other side of the coin. For example, just because my skin has acne doesn’t mean I’m ugly. It’s just one of the many stages in life. And just because I have mobility challenges doesn’t mean I am useless. I still have the brain and hands to write my next bestseller. Challenge your thoughts, whether good or bad, and you will realize that not every gospel you hear is factual.

#5: Develop an Alternative Plan

We don’t have control over our limiting beliefs because they provide a soft fallback. We don’t take risks because we fear getting hurt or hurting others. Say, for example, you’re afraid of getting kids because you’re scared you’ll never be a good mom. Instead of dwelling on being single for the rest of your life, how about you start accommodating other kids in your home and see how well you nurture them?

You can request your siblings or friends to drop off their toddlers over the weekend and dedicate your energy to looking after them just as if they were your own. After a few months, your natural motherly instincts will start to kick in, and who knows, you might start looking at kids differently.

If you’re afraid of public speaking because you feel invisible or you’re afraid your voice is not good enough, how about you start by recording podcasts?

Or, if you constantly feel worthless, how about starting a small project that gives you a sense of belonging? Like donating your coffee to a homeless person every morning. Or helping an elderly neighbor water their flowers every weekend.

The Bottom Line

It’s very easy to develop self-limiting beliefs, especially with a rough childhood or a traumatic past. Our mind is constantly working to protect our fragile ego from getting hurt again. However, the sooner you realize how much you have been missing in your quest to play safe, the sooner you need to break these limiting thoughts and redefine yourself. Your potential starts and ends in your mind. Dare to dream again and develop unshakable confidence because only you can do it.

Personal Development

8 Signs You Are a Free Spirit Who Can Never Be Tamed

Published

2 months ago

October 18, 2022

Katya Ki

If you are a free spirit, chances are you struggle to fit in your family or friend’s circles. That is normal. See, as a true spirit, you value your freedom over complacency. You would rather dictate the terms of your life than conform to societal norms.

Well, this nonconformist attitude to life is never free of cost. You may have to get out of your comfort zone, let go of your societal security, look different, and even suffer harm. But, how do you know if you are a free spirit and not just a rebellious person?

This article will discuss the 8 common signs to guide you.

But first:

Understanding the Free Spirit

A free spirit starts from the mind. You live free of domination from any oppressive thoughts, ideas, or notions imposed on you by others. Unlike rebellion, true freedom is about respectfully liberating your mind and body, to coexist with others at peace.

Likewise, a free spirit will not replace one oppressive thought with another. Instead, this person seeks the truth and lives by it. For example, many celebrities that claim to be free spirits are doing so superficially. They may still ascribe to certain notions that are oppressive to their audience. Like the idea of going organic but allowing the use of plastics from a certain brand.

The Signs

If you are a true free spirit, then you can relate to most of the signs below: –

#1: Strong Desire for Freedom

Did you ever quit a well-paying job to pursue a digital nomad lifestyle that pays less than half of your salary? Your strong desire to be free and set your lifestyle standards indicates a truly free-spirited person. See, free-spirited people make lifestyle decisions that prioritize their freedoms.

#2: Abhor Restrictions

In line with a desire for freedom, free spirits despise any restrictions imposed by others in their lives. If you are one, you could be struggling with committing to a deadline, target, or relationship.

And for the career persons, free spirits hop from one organization to another, dreading to be confined at one company for too long. Here, the free spirit struggles to commit to another person or purpose but looks forward to waking up to new challenges or surprises.

#3: Welcome Challenges

A free spirit encounters problems like any other person. However, they see the problems as new challenges, not threats. Consequently, a free spirit gets excited, not worried when facing challenges.

#4: Spontaneous

A free spirit comes up with rushed decisions that change the course of their lifestyles forever. For example, they may wake up and decide to shift to a new neighborhood, enroll in the gym, or make a swift financial investment. Or, they may change their minds about getting married, having kids, or setting up their businesses.

These persons hold no attachment to anyone or anything, hence appearing as unserious. As a result, others find it hard to understand why this person can’t stay consistent.

#5: Unconventionality

Free spirits do things their way. They question any societal expectations and are the last persons to adopt them. Likewise, they are never intimidated by those around them. Instead, they stick to their decisions regardless of how foreign they sound to the masses.

#6: Insatiable

A free spirit is insatiable. Your goals are different, settling for a better or unique lifestyle from the one your peers are content with. For example, your dream when clearing college was never a well-paying job, the latest car, and a home with kids. Instead, you think of opportunities that will allow you to try new things.

For example, you could be a die-hard globetrotter even though you may not have the means to travel at the moment. You are the kind of person who is content with living from a suitcase for years as you travel around the world.

#7: Great Achievers, Innovators, Dreamers

Now, a free spirit may appear spontaneous and unserious with life, but they have a clear perspective of what they want to achieve. This person comes up with fresh ideas that promise to solve world challenges. And it is the excitement of this new challenge that fuels their desire to achieve the set goals.

#8: Relentless

Free spirits always seek ways of how to make the impossibilities in their lives possible. For example, they will question why it takes three days and not a day for an online shopping order to arrive at their doorstep. And, they will use the latest facts to question current theories.

In turn, these persons never quit. They appear stubborn, holding on to their ideas until they get the solution they were hoping for.

Living a Fulfilling Life as a Free Spirit

Note that, a free spirit is the best candidate for achieving spiritual awakening. This person is intent on soul searching and questions their existence. Still, the life of a free-spirited person can be a lonely one. If you suspect that you are a free spirit, here are a few tips to live a fulfilling lifestyle:

Spend more time outdoors. For example, taking part in dance competitions in the open gives you a chance to free your mind and release any stress buildup.
Reconnect with your inner child by working with children. They have great imaginations and love exploring and testing their boundaries. Plus, they enjoy doing role plays.
Explore a creative career path like preparing exotic dishes and painting on a canvas.
Most free-spirited persons are empathetic, considerate, kind, and loving. In turn, they can be victims of emotional abuse. Protect your emotional wellbeing by setting boundaries on who you interact with or what you explore beyond your comfort zone.

Conclusion

Anyone with a free spirit has the untamable spirit of a wolf. You always want to run free beyond the confines of family or society. You also have a tendency to oppose the normal social rule, being overly independent, and never subscribing to others’ rules. That’s why most free spirits are seen as rebellious.