Personal Development

6 Powerful Ways to Embrace, Heal and Re-parent Your Inner Child

Published

2 years ago

November 8, 2018

We as adults minimize our inner child’s desires. We silence their voices and messages. As we grow older into adulthood the weight of worldly expectations and survival requirements diminish our inner child’s presence.

We soon forget that part of us is still very much alive and is still a very big part of who we are. We’re programmed and taught to ignore and abolish this very important aspect of ourselves. Through years of indoctrination and programming, we learn to suppress and forget our inner child.

With all the responsibilities and duties on our plate, we can become hardened, calloused, and insensitive to the very fragile, vulnerable and lighthearted parts of ourselves that live in our inner children. Many of us become addicted to seriousness, structure, and repetitive behaviors. We forget how it feels to be a child: the playful, imaginative, innocence, and softness that comes with our inner child. This aspect of ourselves, though largely ignored, wants to be acknowledged and allowed to be activated.

In this article, I’m going to give you some tips on embracing and healing your inner child.

It’s no secret that many of us have endured painful and traumatic childhoods. But even if your childhood was very happy and supported, we as adults most often times put our inner child to rest. Here are some helpful things you can do to activate and get in touch with your inner child, which can lead to healing old wounds that may have not been resolved or even acknowledged.

1. Visualization and Meditation

A very powerful tool that I use myself, is to find a quiet and sacred place that you feel safe in to revisit and visualize yourself as a small child. For me, this meant uncovering, acknowledging, and coming to terms with some very painful memories of being traumatized as a small child. I took myself back to those most vulnerable moments in time and felt how it felt for my inner child.

This will obviously be emotional and can be difficult to revisit, but the purpose of this is not to dwell in the pain but to acknowledge it and allow ourselves to feel through it, in order to move forward and begin to reassure and comfort your inner child. Give yourself the love and safety you needed as a child. Whatever trauma happened, you can visualize your adult self-clearing and re-writing new stories that involve joy and happiness. Let your inner child know that the adult in you is very capable and loving. Hold your inner child’s hand and coddle them.

This may sound silly and even ridiculous but it’s a very powerful tool for healing. The problem with past childhood traumas is these memories become trapped in our cellular memory, as the pain has most often not been acknowledged or completely felt.

By doing this exercise you can begin to release the trapped emotions by facing the painful parts that still exist and move through them with more ease and grace.

Acknowledgment is powerful medicine and when you combine that with love and gentleness, the combination transmutes dense energies that may be present. Once you are able to revisit and reassure yourself, you can then begin to re-write and re-program more pleasant outcomes and experiences. This doesn’t minimize the trauma that actually took place, but it allows you to empower that aspect of yourself to begin to heal and feel safe. Once you move into this stage you will notice yourself feeling clearer and happier overall.

This does not only apply to those with unpleasant or traumatic experiences as children, but this applies to those with happy and loving childhoods as well. By revisiting your inner child’s sweetest memories you will awaken and reactivate those parts of you that have been dormant.

2. Keep your sense of humor present

We take life and ourselves too seriously. Taking things personally or being too rigid steals our joy. Many people think that by being serious, focused, and structured will ensure some worldly success, but this is not true. We can tap into our inner child by keeping things lighthearted and finding humor in the small things. This is not to say that structure, discipline, and focus aren’t needed as well, but we can have these attributes and play them out with laughter and lightness behind them. Our inner child loves to explore, imagine, and try new things. When we stifle this part of ourselves we become tired, unsatisfied, and lack creation.

There’s a reason why the saying “laughter is the best medicine” remains true. When you see children at play there’s always laughter present. When you find yourself being super serious, remind yourself that life is what you make of it and that you can choose to let things roll off your shoulders and you can choose to release the stress we sometimes resign ourselves to as part of our adult life. By committing yourself to remain positive and finding a sense of humor in your day to day interactions, you will feel happier and more content with whatever comes your way. In fact the more you practice and choose lightness the more it becomes your nature.

3. Let your imagination run wild

This is another part of ourselves that as adults can become underused and lost. As children, we use our imaginations all of the time. The brain of a child, for the better part of the first 7 years of life, is in a theta state. This is imagination. This is when we create magical things. This is when we would lose ourselves in playful spaces. This part of ourselves is very important to keep active. This is how we co-create and bring into manifestation our dreams, intentions, and goals.

Allow yourself time and space to lose yourself in your imagination. No dream is too big or unrealistic. Allow yourself to see things in your mind’s eye that make your heart swell with happiness and allow the tears of joy to flow. Our thoughts are electric and our emotions are magnetizing. This is how you create the timelines you want to play out in your life. Don’t ever downplay or diminish your imagination, it is a very powerful tool.

4. Do things you did as a child

So many times we blanket our lives with adult responsibilities without expressing and participating in things we loved to do as children. We take on this belief that those days are over or we place physical limitations on things we used to do as children. We think it would be foolish, or we feel ashamed for doing the things we loved as kids. The truth is that the more we express ourselves in things that brought us so much joy as a child, we will find that they still bring us as much, or more, joy as adults.

For example, I love headstands, cartwheels, and handstands. I practice and do them all the time as a 47-year young woman! I will do them ‘til I am physically unable to! I love to color, I love to make arts and crafts, I love to watch children’s animated stories, I love to climb trees, I love to play dress-up, I love to dance. These things make my heart happy and allow me to tap into that youthful energy and expression. By doing these things I feel it keeps me feeling young, active, and lighthearted. I feel restored and peaceful.

Embrace the things that made you feel happiest as a kid and revisit your childhood favorites. Don’t worry about how you look or what others may think, just do it and your heart will come alive. Some things may be more difficult to do than when you were a kid but don’t let that stop you from practicing, playing and having fun with it.

5. Stay in touch and present with your inner child

Once you realize that your inner child is always with you and a very big part of your adult self, keep being present with it. Make it a habit to check in and honor that aspect of yourself regularly. Include, comfort, and engage your inner child. Move beyond your ego telling you it’s silly, childish and unimportant. This is only an ego-trap that keeps you small minded and taking yourself too seriously.

Encourage others and your partners to play with lighthearted experiences. By embracing your inner child it will entice those around you to join in the fun. It will deepen your connections with others. It will heal your heart, help you to stay in the present, increase your creativity, boost your immune system, release stress, alleviate depression and anxiety, keep you youthful at heart, elongate your life, and enhance your quality of life.

6. Practice living in flow

What exactly does this mean? There’s a natural order and universal flow taking place in every moment. As children our resilience, presence, and acceptance to what is happening in every moment is remarkable. We were more likely to allow what is. We as adults are always practicing control. We are always planning out our lives and leave little to no room for flow in our day to day lives. We become rigid and unwilling to change or welcome unexpected occurrences. The reality is that life is in a constant state of flow and change. The problem comes when we won’t allow ourselves fluidity. By being in flow you step into the higher stream of consciousness that is at work. This is when real-life magic happens and unfolds.

For example, you could have your day completely planned out with very specific details and tasks or events and intentions that you want to take place. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that but if plans get interrupted or that universal flow has something else in order, knowing and discerning when to allow for other things to take place or move in a different direction is key. Being in flow is like being in the zone, things are magnificent. Don’t be afraid to leave room for magic and spirit orchestration to work in your life. Let go of expectations and have faith that things are playing out in divine order for your highest good. Even when things don’t quite seem like they are, trust that you are always being developed to become who you are meant to be.

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Angela Fitts

Angela is an Empowerment Ambassador, Health and Wellness Advocate. She is a student and an example of holistic, spiritually enhanced and youthful living. Angela empowers people to live the heart's path and to believe that life doesn't require one to age quickly and live a life of illness. Writing articles for SOLANCHA Magazine is one of the ways she expresses her passion for inspiring people to become a happier and healthier version of themselves.

Personal Development

Dream Journal: a Powerful Tool For Shadow Work

Published

1 month ago

December 15, 2020

SOLANCHA STAFF

A dream is a mysterious phenomenon. Unfortunately, we are not always attentive to our dreams and even if we are, very often we can’t remember them once we wake up. Dreams can serve us as an important tool for reaching our subconscious mind and understanding our shadow self. Also, we can find very important hints to our daily challenges and tap into creative potential if we learn how to do it. A dream journal is a simple but powerful tool for remembering our dreams and analyzing them.

A dream journal not only allows you to analyze your dreams but also trains your memory and increases your chances for lucid dreaming and astral traveling. By keeping records of our dreams, we inform the Higher powers that dreams are important to us, and the prophetic information begins to come to us in our dreams more often.

In this article, I will share with you what dream journalling is, what the benefits of this practice are, and helpful tips to start your practice.

What Is a Dream Journal?

Dream journaling is the practice of writing down what you remember from your dreams. A dream journal is a type of reflective diary, where you keep your records on your dream experiences.

If you do it regularly, over time, your dream journal becomes an invaluable source of insight into your most important concerns, activities, and relationships in the waking world.

Dream Journal Benefits

#1: It increases your chances of having lucid dreams

According to scientific research, the habit of writing down your dreams increases your chances of having lucid dreams. When you spend time physically writing down your dreams, you’re making both your conscious and subconscious mind aware that your dreams are important to you. This can make it easier for you to achieve a lucid state of dreaming. The mere thought that you are going to write down your dreams can help raise your awareness in your dream.

#2: It helps you better understand your emotions and thoughts

Analyzing your dreams can help you understand why you feel the way you feel. Deep introspection will help you identify triggers for your thoughts and emotions that you may not be consciously aware of.

#3: It helps you solve problems

Writing down the fragmented impressions of our dreams helps us capture some of our nocturnal out-of-the-box thinking and make connections between complex thoughts. While you’re dreaming you can tap into the infinite universal potential that contains answers to all questions. By writing down and attentively analyzing your dreams you can find the solution to your problems. You may also receive a sign or a symbol of the solution in your dream that dream journaling will help you to interpret.

As you may know, many writers have used their dreams to inspire their stories, and even some mathematicians – including Albert Einstein – have relied on dreams to develop their formulas and theories in ways nobody thought possible at the time!

#4: It helps you improve your memory

Paying closer attention to what your dreams are about will help you remember them more easily in the future. It trains your brain to be focused on what’s important to you!

#5: It helps you learn from mistakes

When you write down your dreams, you can go back and review them over time. This will help you see patterns in your dreams, which in turn can help you spot behavioral patterns in your life. This will help you understand your true feelings and gain perspective on matters that you didn’t see clearly at the time.

#6: It reduces stress

When you take a moment of quiet reflection, you experience a calming and restorative effect. Moreover, studies show that dream journaling improves your overall physical health, strengthens your immune system, and slows down the aging process.

#7: It boosts your creativity

Writing down your dreams can help you become better acquainted with the most irrepressible parts of your brain and realize the untapped potential of your creativity, helping you generate new ideas. Thus, keeping a dream journal can enhance your own unique brand of creative thinking, because when you are dreaming, you think more creatively.

4 Tips On Starting Dream Journaling

Place a pad of paper and a pen next to your bedside, and when you wake up with a dream in mind, immediately write it down. Because these bedside notes are often scrawled in semi-legible form, you will want to transcribe your dreams later in the day, either into better handwriting or onto your phone or computer.

Here are some helpful tips on how to make your dream journaling practice more effective:

#1: Write right away!

Write down everything you remember from your dream right after you wake up (even if you wake up in the middle of the night!). The longer you wait, the more you forget. Stay in bed when you’re writing down your dreams to increase the likelihood of remembering them.

Write down all the dreams that you remember, whether they are interesting or not, clear or foggy.

If you can’t remember the whole dream, write down only what you remember, even if it’s just a face, a place, a phrase, or something else.

Also don’t forget to write the date and create a title for each dream! It will help you to navigate your dreams more easily.

#2: Pay attention to the details

It’s important to include as many details as you can. Note everything that you can remember happening in your dream: your location, the surroundings, whoever is around you, time, sounds, numbers, objects, colors, your emotions and feelings, and any other sensations that you experience. At first, this can be difficult to remember any details but it will get easier with practice.

You can also accompany your writings with drawings. Sometimes, it could be easier to express all the details in a drawing, especially when you see some symbols, signs, pictures, unusual facial features, etc.

#3: Compare your dream to your waking life

As a first step towards interpreting your dreams, every evening try to write a short summary of what happened each day. Then, when you write down what your dream was about the next morning, you can look back on the previous day’s events for clues as to why certain elements may have shown up in your dream. Also, you can look at your dream to see how it might have influenced what you thought and felt for the rest of the day.

#4: Analyze

Once you get good at recording the details of your dreams, you can start to analyze them. Try to find patterns in your dreams – they might reveal what you are subconsciously thinking about.

When analyzing your dreams, try to answer such questions as:

Are you always in a certain place?
Is there a certain person/people with you in your dream, or are you always alone?
Is there a particular plant, animal, or some other object in your dream?
Are you always feeling a certain emotion in your dream?
Are you always performing the same actions?
Are you always making the same mistakes in your dreams?

These are just examples of the questions you can ask yourself for your dream analysis. You can come up with your own that would reflect your own unique experience.

If you keep dreaming of the same things over and over, it may point to certain issues in the waking life that you are trying to deal with or may have been reluctant to confront.

#5: Use a template

Using a dream journal template makes your journalling much easier. To download a dream journal template click here.

Dream Journal Apps

We live in a digital era. For many of us using our phones is more natural and convenient than using a pen. Some people prefer an app over a diary because they find an app more convenient (easier to always keep it next to you, even when traveling), more secure, and eco-friendly. If you’re one of those people, here are some apps that will help you keep track of your dreams right on your phone:

The Bottom Line

By recording your dreams on a regular basis, tracking their themes and patterns over time, you will discover that your dream journal is an invaluable source of insight into your most important concerns, activities, and relationships in the waking world.

By analyzing your dreams you will eventually start seeing patterns in them, which in turn can help you spot behavioral patterns in your life. It will help you understand your true feelings and gain perspective on matters that you didn’t see clearly at the time.

Personal Development

How To Become Emotionally Balanced And Live a Stress-Free Life?

Published

4 months ago

September 21, 2020

SOLANCHA STAFF

Life always gives us challenges and life lessons for our development and personal evolution. Each of us in one way or another is dealing with some sort of life challenges. However, some people happen to manage these challenges better than others. You can find lots of examples where a big life challenge made a person much stronger and more successful in life, whereas a small problem another person faced caused him to go into a deep depression and mental breakdown.

So, why can some people handle anything and turn lemons into lemonade whereas others can’t deal with even the smallest of problems without feeling stressed?

In this article, we will share with you what emotional balance is and what are the principles of emotionally balanced people. Also, we will give you some helpful tips on how to improve your emotional health and become more emotionally balanced so that you can enjoy your life and deal with life challenges in a more harmonious way.

Emotional Health

We all manage stressful situations differently. Some of us can stay calm and balanced while solving a problem, while others violently show uncontrollable emotions.

It’s not a bad thing to be emotional, but it can negatively affect the course of events. And if you are an overly emotional person, you probably know about it.

The ability to remain calm in a stressful situation indicates a person’s emotional health. If you’re not emotionally healthy, chances are you’re going to run into trouble and turn a tiny problem into a big disaster.

The way you process your emotions determines how you will deal with issues as they arise in your life. If you’re emotionally disconnected with yourself, it makes it that much harder for you to process and cope with life circumstances and problems that you may encounter. When you’re able to truly find inner peace and balance your emotional self you’ll start to see life challenges in an entirely different way.

5 Principles Of Emotional Balance

The emotional balance may be an innate skill, but you can also develop it by starting to apply these 5 principles of emotionally balanced people.

#1: Wait for the right moment instead of acting right away

This will help you master the skill of impulsive control – the ability to stop and think about whether you want to act. By learning to control yourself, you can take a break and evaluate the situation, and potentially committed actions in the long term.

For example, a friend or family member might make you angry. In response, you can immediately say or do something that may disrupt the relationship. The control skill will help you to choose an action that matches your best intentions.

#2: Take a pause

Emotionally stable people are patient – they can take a pause before reacting to the situation. If you are not such a person, remember how you reacted in a fit of anger? Now, think about what your response would be if you were patient for one hour.

If the first principle was about choosing the best action, this one is about sitting with your emotions and not taking any action. During this time, you will find a solution that will correspond to your intentions in the best way.

#3: The healing power of time

Acceptance doesn’t mean being weak and giving up or letting stress get the better of you. On the contrary, it is about understanding your emotions and believing that you will be OK.

Time heals! The feelings of sadness or frustration are temporary – they will gradually go away as time passes.

When you are emotionally imbalanced you may think that you will never get out of this state. Now, remember the last time you felt like this. You may have thought that this tough time would never be over, but you eventually felt better. And it always gets better as time heals!

#4: Make time for yourself

Emotionally stable people are organized people who know their self-worth and value their time. They know that taking care of themselves is the way they replenish their resources and become stronger.

Self-care for such people is a daily practice.

They have certain tools that they can use during times of stress to relieve it and regain their calm: meditation, yoga, sports, meeting a friend, a сup of tea, etc.

So, next time when you feel like stress is taking control over you, instead of allowing your emotions to guide you to self-destructive mode, focus on your inner peace – go to yoga class, do some breathing exercises, or meditate. Turn off your restless mind and listen to your inner voice!

#5: Focus on good things

Where attention goes, energy flows and manifestation occurs. You will attract whatever is most often and most powerfully on your mind and in your heart. So don’t focus on “what’s wrong.” You will only attract more of the same. Don’t waste your precious energy on something you don’t want to attract into your life! Shift your focus on good things instead. Remember that there is always something to be grateful for. Keep a positive mindset!

Count your blessings, not your troubles!

Counting your blessings puts you into a state of gratitude which opens the flow to attract more happiness and joy into your life. When you turn your attention to all the goodness that you already have you’ll find that you’ll begin to see things you had not noticed before and feel more appreciative of your life. With this kind of mindset, you will be able to deal with your life challenges in a more balanced way and see the right solutions for your problems more clearly.

Are You Emotionally Balanced?

After reading a bit about what it means to be emotionally balanced, how do you feel? Do you believe that you are emotionally balanced, or are there some areas of your life that you could use a little change in?

According to Dan Mager, MSW, “there are several levels of awareness involved in cultivating emotional balance:

#1: Become consciously aware that you are experiencing an emotion

Although you may not know specifically what the feeling is, it is important to simply notice and acknowledge that you have some feeling.

#2: Identify the particular emotion

It may be helpful to close your eyes, turn your focus inward, and allow yourself to experience that emotion in your body. Different emotions are typically experienced in different parts of the body.

For example, anger might manifest as tightness in your neck and shoulders, sadness as an ache in your chest, fear as a knot in your stomach, and joy as warmth in your heart.

#3: Put the emotion into words

“I’m feeling anxious.” “I’m feeling angry.” “I’m feeling sad.”

Putting the emotions you experience into words by making these simple self-statements can create the space you can use to respond intentionally rather than react automatically and unconsciously.

How to Become Emotionally Balanced?

The good thing is that there are plenty of ways in which you can learn to balance your emotions, learn self-love, and see life in a more positive way. Here are some quick tips from Dan Mager, MSW to improve your emotional health you can start with.

#1: Feel your feelings

Instead of blocking your emotions or denying them allow yourself to feel whatever you’re experiencing. Write down your negative emotions instead of acting on them so you can vent.

#2: Grow daily

Every day challenge yourself to take risks. By doing this, you allow yourself to grow and boost your self-love. The risks don’t have to be hard. For example, you can talk to someone new, or learn a new skill, or even set a workout goal.

#3: Focus on the present moment

You see, usually, our mental health becomes challenged when we focus too much on what was or what could be. Though it is important to have structure and plans in your life, allowing them to consume your mind can be detrimental. It is easier to deal with reality when you start focusing on the present moment and stop worrying about the future.

#4: Laugh more

Try to find the bright side of things and laugh a little more through the ups and downs in life.

#5: Be grateful

Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, it’s great to show gratitude for what you do. Start reciting positive things about your life on a daily basis. Things like “I’m happy I have a job” and “I’m blessed I have a home” can start to make you appreciate more of what you have now.

#6: Make your heart sing

Connecting to something larger than yourself makes your life purposeful and meaningful. Do more of what makes your heart sing. It could be meditation, aerial yoga class, or seeing friends more often.

#7: Watch who you surround yourself with

You may need to take a look at your relationships to determine if they’re healthy. Having people who give off negative energy can certainly affect your emotional health. You may need to separate yourself from them as you learn to heal. Do this from a place of love and compassion, rather than righteousness or by wronging anyone.

The Bottom Line

Emotional stability is all about a balanced attitude to challenging situations and daily problems. By practicing the above principles and tips and learning how to respond to stress, you can live more joyfully and be a support to others.

Personal Development

What Is Your Fear Archetype And How Is It Holding You Back?

Published

4 months ago

September 18, 2020

SOLANCHA STAFF

Fear impacts all of us, and very often holds us back from pursuing the things we really want. If you are one of those people who let their biggest dreams fade away just because you are too afraid to pursue them, this article is for you! We are going to dig deeper and find out what this fear that holds you back looks like. You will learn what your fear archetype is and what you can actually do about it.

Destructive Power Of Fear

Fear is one of the basic human instincts that is supposed to protect us and make us act faster in dangerous situations. But at the same time, fear also inhibits and hinders our self-expression and progress. It is fear that can prevent us from living the life that we dream of and from expressing our full potential. So it turns out that this instinct of self-preservation can ruin our lives.

Everyone’s fear manifests itself in different ways, and people deal with it differently. Ruth Soukup, entrepreneur, and author of “Do It Scared” discovered seven fear archetypes and came up with the best ways to overcome each of them.

Which one describes yours the best? Read on!

7 Fear Archetypes

Fear Archetype #1: Procrastinator

Also known as a perfectionist who tends to postpone things or not start them at all, because they are afraid to do everything imperfectly or make a mistake. And since it doesn’t work out perfectly in most cases, these people prefer not to take on a failed idea or project at all.

This archetype may manifest itself as:

fear of commitment;
fear of getting started.

Procrastinators tend to be indecisive when they need to act quickly. Usually, they prefer to plan everything in detail, do research, the organization of the process is more important than the actions themselves. As a result, they have many incomplete and unmanifested ideas and plans and rarely get anything done.

Are you a Procrastinator?

You can consider yourself a procrastinator if you:

never feel like things are done or ready if you like to plan things way in advance;
research tends to be more important than the action itself;
have trouble committing or saying yes to things that are outside of your comfort zone.

What can you do?

Get out of their comfort zone and say “Yes” more often to everything new, even if it is not planned.
Set a deadline for when your planning and researching period will end and when you’ll actually get started.
Realize that the problem with ‘perfect’ is that nothing will ever be good enough.
Set realistic standards and work towards doing your best.

Fear Archetype #2: The Rule Follower

Such people are dedicated to following the distinct rules and guidelines set by those around them. They’re obsessed with always trying to make the right decision, despite its potential effect on their own success.

The rule followers are very afraid of changes.

They tend to see the world in black and white and feel anxious anytime they sense themselves or other people stepping outside the norms of acceptable behavior. They may also be overly concerned with making sure other people are making good decisions.

The rule followers may avoid taking risks, especially when they are not sure whether there is a “right” path to follow, and their fear of authority may prevent them from coloring outside the lines of trusting their own judgment.

Are you the Rule Follower?

You can consider yourself the rule follower if you:

like knowing there is an established protocol to follow;
strongly prefer for things to be done the “right” way;
spend time worrying about regulations and things not being done correctly.

What can you do?

get out of the dual perception of the world, stop seeing everything as “either right or wrong”;
realize the fact that an unknown path can lead to something new and beautiful;
practice self-compassion;
realize that it’s OK to make mistakes – this is necessary for your personal growth;
define your own set of guiding principles instead of always leaning on others or outside factors.

Fear Archetype #3: The People Pleaser

The desire to please everyone arises from a deep fear of being rejected by others. Such people care about what others think of them, and they are very afraid of public condemnation. The worst thing for such people is to be ridiculed or rejected by someone.

The people pleasers are afraid of being judged which also manifests itself as the fear of letting people down and the fear of what other people might say. Essentially, the People Pleaser’s biggest concern can often be summed up as the fear of how others may react.

Usually, they pay a lot of attention to their appearance and care a lot about their reputation and status symbols such as a nice car, home, or designer labels.

Are you the People Pleaser?

You can consider yourself the people pleaser if you:

have a hard time saying no, setting limits, and establishing healthy boundaries;
are overcommitted;
allow other people’s priorities and requests to override your own goals and dreams;
are often worried about looking foolish or being judged;
worry about letting other people down;
struggle to disagree when others share an opinion.

What can you do?

spend more time alone and learn to hear yourself first;
stop saying “yes” when you want to say “no”;
learn to set your boundaries when communicating with people;
realize that you can’t pour from an empty cup, meaning that when you’re in tune with your own wants and desires, you become a better friend, partner, and family member;
remind yourself that you deserve to be prioritized, just as much as other people in your life.

Fear Archetype #4: Outcast

This is the opposite of those who try to please. Such people, on the contrary, try to be as different as possible, to show their individuality and the fact that they do not care about the opinion of others.

Behind all this is a huge fear of rejection or a fear of trusting other people. This fear archetype manifests itself by rejecting others before they have a chance to be rejected.

While to outside observers, the Outcast often appears to be fearless, inwardly he often believes other people can’t be counted on or trusted and he tends to view even the mildest slight or dismissal as confirmation of that belief, which in turn causes the Outcast to reject others even more frequently.

Are you an Outcast?

You can consider yourself an Outcast if you:

struggle to ask for help;
don’t trust others;
keep your distance from other people;
push people away and do not let them get too close;
tend to think “I don’t need anyone, I’m on my own”.

What can you do?

work on your self-esteem;
don’t be afraid to ask for help and express your feelings;
take the time to ask yourself if you are focusing on the worst-case scenario and what some other alternatives may be;
give others a chance;
look for evidence that you can trust others and know that if things don’t go well you are already experienced at ending a situation.

Fear Archetype #5: The Self-Doubter

This fear archetype is dominated by the fear of not being good enough. Those who self-doubt tend to feel insecure about themselves and their capabilities. Therefore, they can find it difficult to put themselves out there.

The Self-Doubter often judges others to mask his own fears and insecurities.

Such people may also struggle with feelings of intense jealousy toward someone who is doing the things they wish they could do. This jealousy may manifest itself in the form of sarcasm, gossip, or criticism.

These people are very insecure about themselves. In fact, they are afraid of themselves and their self-expression. Here there is a fear of the opinions of others, and the fear of not being good enough or not qualified enough.

Doubts prevent such people from starting something new. They doubt and criticize themselves and often envy those who succeed.

Are you the Self-Doubter?

You can consider yourself as the Self-Doubter if you:

avoid trying new things or taking risks because you don’t believe in yourself or your abilities;
often feel jealous;
frequently struggle with feeling unworthy or unqualified;
tend to be hypercritical of yourself and others.

What can you do?

start doing what you’ve always wanted to do and dreamed of, even if it seems scary;
step outside of your comfort zone every once in a while and take note of the outcome.

Fear Archetype #6: The Excuse Maker

This fear archetype struggles most with the fear of taking responsibility. It can also manifest itself as the fear of being held accountable, or the fear of being found at fault.

Instead of stepping up to lead every once in a while, the Excuse Maker finds himself taking a backseat to avoid accountability. They prefer to let others make decisions for them avoiding personal responsibility.

Such people are terrified of having the finger pointed in their direction. Therefore they always look for someone or something to blame for why they can’t do something.

Are you the Excuse Maker?

You can consider yourself as the Excuse Maker if you:

tend to shift blame and avoid responsibility;
get nervous at the idea of being in charge;
feel uncomfortable with making a final decision, for fear of being blamed for an unfavorable outcome;
are prone to blame any current struggles on other people or circumstances.
often have an explanation for why you are not able to do something.

What can you do?

start with setting small daily goals and stick with them;
try the S.M.A.R.T. (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Timely) goal model to help create measurable and realistic goals;
break down each of your goals – then you will be able to bring structure and trackability to them.

Fear Archetype #7: The Pessimist

This fear archetype struggles with the fear of adversity and hardship. Such people often feel victimized due to past or current trauma or difficulties. They can tend to look at hardships as stop signs or a reason to give up.

This fear archetype struggles most with the fear of adversity, which often manifests itself as the fear of pain.

Pessimists are easily waylaid by any challenging circumstances that come their way. This is due to the fact that they are very afraid of adversity and hardship. In difficult situations, they feel like they lack control over them.

In any challenging situation, the Pessimist only sees obstacles and troubles but never sees the opportunities for growth and perseverance. Any problem they face in life is a legitimate reason to give up or to not try at all.

Are you the Pessimist?

You can consider yourself as the Pessimist if you:

get stuck in bitterness toward other people or unfair circumstances;
struggle to face your circumstances head-on instead of preferring to hide to avoid additional pain;
fear of adversity and hardship;
tend to feel like there is no real solution for your problem and therefore would rather not try to solve it at all;
tend to look at hardships as stop signs or a reason to give up.

What can you do?

learn to look at hardships as stepping stones or lessons, instead of roadblocks;
see obstacles as an opportunity for growth and perseverance;
stop hiding trying to avoid pain;
get rid of victim mentality;
when something tough gets thrown your way, take a moment to step back and evaluate the situation;
when facing a challenge or problem, think about the lesson it might be teaching you, or how you can make the outcome more favorable.