Personal Development
6 Powerful Ways to Embrace, Heal and Re-parent Your Inner Child
We as adults minimize our inner child’s desires. We silence their voices and messages. As we grow older into adulthood the weight of worldly expectations and survival requirements diminish our inner child’s presence.
We soon forget that part of us is still very much alive and is still a very big part of who we are. We’re programmed and taught to ignore and abolish this very important aspect of ourselves. Through years of indoctrination and programming, we learn to suppress and forget our inner child.
With all the responsibilities and duties on our plate, we can become hardened, calloused and insensitive to the very fragile, vulnerable and lighthearted parts of ourselves that live in our inner children. Many of us become addicted to seriousness, structure and repetitive behaviors. We forget how it feels to be a child: the playful, imaginative, innocence and softness that comes with our inner child. This aspect of ourselves, though largely ignored, wants to be acknowledged and allowed to be activated.
In this article, I’m going to give you some tips on embracing and healing your inner child.
It’s no secret that many us have endured painful and traumatic childhoods. But even if your childhood was very happy and supported, we as adults most often times put our inner child to rest. Here are some helpful things you can do to activate and get in touch with your inner child, which can lead to healing old wounds that may have not been resolved or even acknowledged.
1. Visualization and Meditation
A very powerful tool that I use myself, is to find a quiet and sacred place that you feel safe in to revisit and visualize yourself as a small child. For me, this meant uncovering, acknowledging and coming to terms with some very painful memories of being traumatized as a small child. I took myself back to those most vulnerable moments in time and felt how it felt for my inner child.
This will obviously be emotional and can be difficult to revisit, but the purpose of this is not to dwell in the pain but to acknowledge it and allow ourselves to feel through it, in order to move forward and begin to reassure and comfort your inner child. Give yourself the love and safety you needed as a child. Whatever trauma happened, you can visualize your adult self-clearing and re-writing new stories that involve joy and happiness. Let your inner child know that the adult in you is very capable and loving. Hold your inner child’s hand and coddle them.
This may sound silly and even ridiculous but it’s a very powerful tool for healing. The problem with past childhood traumas is these memories become trapped in our cellular memory, as the pain has most often not been acknowledged or completely felt.
By doing this exercise you can begin to release the trapped emotions by facing the painful parts that still exist and move through them with more ease and grace.
Acknowledgment is powerful medicine and when you combine that with love and gentleness, the combination transmutes dense energies that may be present. Once you are able to revisit and reassure yourself, you can then begin to re-write and re-program more pleasant outcomes and experiences. This doesn’t minimize the trauma that actually took place, but it allows you to empower that aspect of yourself to begin to heal and feel safe. Once you move into this stage you will notice yourself feeling clearer and happier overall.
This does not only apply to those with unpleasant or traumatic experiences as children, but this applies to those with happy and loving childhoods as well. By revisiting your inner child’s sweetest memories you will awaken and reactivate those parts of you that have been dormant.
2. Keep your sense of humor present
We take life and ourselves too seriously. Taking things personally or being too rigid steals our joy. Many people think that by being serious, focused and structured will ensure some worldly success, but this is not true. We can tap into our inner child by keeping things lighthearted and finding humor in the small things. This is not to say that structure, discipline, and focus aren’t needed as well, but we can have these attributes and play them out with laughter and lightness behind them. Our inner child loves to explore, imagine and try new things. When we stifle this part of ourselves we become tired, unsatisfied and lack creation.
There’s a reason why the saying “laughter is the best medicine” remains true. When you see children at play there’s always laughter present. When you find yourself being super serious, remind yourself that life is what you make of it and that you can choose to let things roll off your shoulders and you can choose to release the stress we sometimes resign ourselves to as part of our adult life. By committing yourself to remaining positive and finding a sense of humor in your day to day interactions, you will feel happier and more content with whatever comes your way. In fact the more you practice and choose lightness the more it becomes your nature.
3. Let your imagination run wild
This is another part of ourselves that as adults can become underused and lost. As children, we use our imaginations all of the time. The brain of a child, for the better part of the first 7 years of life, is in a theta state. This is imagination. This is when we create magical things. This is when we would lose ourselves in playful spaces. This part of ourselves is very important to keep active. This is how we co-create and bring into manifestation our dreams, intentions, and goals.
Allow yourself time and space to lose yourself in your imagination. No dream is too big or unrealistic. Allow yourself to see things in your mind’s eye that make your heart swell with happiness and allow the tears of joy to flow. Our thoughts are electric and our emotions are magnetizing. This is how you create the timelines you want to play out in your life. Don’t ever downplay or diminish your imagination, it is a very powerful tool.
4. Do things you did as a child
So many times we blanket our lives with adult responsibilities without expressing and participating in things we loved to do as children. We take on this belief that those days are over or we place physical limitations on things we used to do as children. We think it would be foolish, or we feel ashamed for doing the things we loved as kids. The truth is that the more we express ourselves in things that brought us so much joy as a child, we will find that they still bring us as much, or more, joy as adults.
For example, I love headstands, cartwheels, and handstands. I practice and do them all the time as a 47-year young woman! I will do them ‘til I am physically unable to! I love to color, I love to make arts and crafts, I love to watch children’s animated stories, I love to climb trees, I love to play dress up, I love to dance. These things make my heart happy and allow me to tap into that youthful energy and expression. By doing these things I feel it keeps me feeling young, active and lighthearted. I feel restored and peaceful.
Embrace the things that made you feel happiest as a kid and revisit your childhood favorites. Don’t worry about how you look or what others may think, just do it and your heart will come alive. Some things may be more difficult to do than when you were a kid but don’t let that stop you from practicing, playing and having fun with it.
5. Stay in touch and present with your inner child
Once you realize that your inner child is always with you and a very big part of your adult self, keep being present with it. Make it a habit to check in and honor that aspect of yourself regularly. Include, comfort, and engage your inner child. Move beyond your ego telling you it’s silly, childish and unimportant. This is only an ego-trap that keeps you small minded and taking yourself too seriously.
Encourage others and your partners to play with lighthearted experiences. By embracing your inner child it will entice those around you to join in the fun. It will deepen your connections with others. It will heal your heart, help you to stay in the present, increase your creativity, boost your immune system, release stress, alleviate depression and anxiety, keep you youthful at heart, elongate your life, and enhance your quality of life.
6. Practice living in flow
What exactly does this mean? There’s a natural order and universal flow taking place in every moment. As children our resilience, presence, and acceptance to what is happening in every moment is remarkable. We were more likely to allow what is. We as adults are always practicing control. We are always planning out our lives and leave little to no room for flow in our day to day lives. We become rigid and unwilling to change or welcome unexpected occurrences. The reality is that life is in a constant state of flow and change. The problem comes when we won’t allow ourselves fluidity. By being in flow you step into the higher stream of consciousness that is at work. This is when real life magic happens and unfolds.
For example, you could have your day completely planned out with very specific details and tasks or events and intentions that you want to take place. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that but if plans get interrupted or that universal flow has something else in order, knowing and discerning when to allow for other things to take place or move in a different direction is key. Being in flow is like being in the zone, things are magnificent. Don’t be afraid to leave room for magic and spirit orchestration to work in your life. Let go of expectations and have faith that things are playing out in divine order for your highest good. Even when things don’t quite seem like they are, trust that you are always being developed to become who you are meant to be.
Sooner or later every person asks this question: “How do I deal with fear?”. Fear is one of the most important life lessons every human being learns. Overcoming our fears always makes us stronger. But when we don’t know how to deal with fear it can make our life miserable and destroy us completely.
Life requires the greatest courage. If you are in a state of fear, you do not live, you exist. Living in fear is worse than death. Fear paralyzes you and takes your energy. It is fear that is the root cause of most diseases, as it absorbs a huge amount of energy. There is not a single person on Earth who has not experienced fear or its variations at least once – anxiety, panic, self-doubt, jealousy, etc. That’s why it is so important to know how to deal with fear.
Only brave people can live their lives to the fullest and be happy. However, the paradox is that it is useless to fight fear. Every time we fight against something, we give even more energy to our fear. As a result, it becomes even stronger, and we become weaker.
So how do we deal with fear then? First of all, let’s find out what the nature of fear is.
Understanding The Nature Of Your Fear
Fear is energy, or rather its excessive amount (CHA), which occurs when the object of fear is given excessive importance. Excess energy (CHA) disrupts the balance (LAN) in the energy field and creates a balancing force aimed at its elimination (SO).
For example, if you are walking on the edge of a cliff and are terrified of falling, the balancing forces will try to eliminate the excess energy in the easiest way. In this way, they will push you into the abyss, thereby ending with you as a carrier of excess energy. However, this option does not suit you, so you try your best to keep yourself calm, resisting the actions of balancing forces. In order to balance the excess energy that fear carries, you begin to put extra effort, as a result of which you will lose even more energy.
If the excess energy contained in fear is large enough, you lose control of it. And then the balancing forces do whatever they want to you. You start to panic and fall into the abyss from the cliff.
So, If Fight Your Fear Is Useless, What Can We Do Then?
Any fighting is always useless indeed. Especially when we’re talking about our fears. But there is something we can always do about our fears. Let me share with you my tips on how to deal with fear. They can help you to look at your fears from another angle and take control of them.
6 Tips On How To Deal With Fear
1. Reduce the amount of energy you give to fear
When you find yourself in a state of a panic attack, the first thing you should do is to reduce the amount of energy you give to fear as quickly as possible. To do this, you need to quickly switch your attention to something else. In other words, you need to start doing something. The activity does not necessarily have to concern itself. It’s enough to just make yourself busy with something, no matter what. As soon as you begin to actively engage in something abstract, you will feel your fear and anxiety have subsided.
This way you redirect your energy from thoughts to actions. There is no free energy left for feeding your fear, as it has been transformed into action. As a result, you calm down and stop radiating negativity, that as we all know always attracts what you are afraid of.
2. Create a Plan B
My second tip on how to deal with fear is to reduce its excessive importance by creating the so-called “Plan B”. By “Plan B” I mean a backup option. In other words, speculate on what you will do if what you feared will happen? Think about your behavior. And, thus, calm yourself down.
For example, you are afraid to take the exam because you are afraid to “fail” it. Imagine that you have already “failed”. What are you going to do? Most likely, you will retake it. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Even if you do not pass now, next time you will pass for sure. Take the retake as a backup and take it with you to the exam as a “Plan B” option.
However, do not cling to this option. Just formulate it for yourself, and set it aside. Don’t feed it with your energy. Keep it in your head as a backup option, but visualize at the same time what you want to get ideally – a good score for the exam.
You can use the following affirmation:
“Universe, I trust you completely. I know that you will organize everything in the best way for me anyway. But if possible, please make sure that I pass the exam and get a good grade for it. Thanks!”
3. Observe your fear
My third tip on how to deal with fear is to neutralize it by observing it.
Fear has a significant impact on your life only if you are not able to see yourself from the outside. Look at fear consciously. As soon as you start watching how afraid you are, you will come to realize what is really happening to you. Let yourself be afraid, but do it consciously. In the state of awareness, you do not give energy to your fear, so your negative expectations are not realized.
However, if you start to fight your fear (to force yourself not to be afraid), it means that you attach great importance to it. As a result, you give your energy to fear, due to which it is manifested in your reality.
Thus, it is necessary to stop fighting fear and resist it. Go towards your fear and allow yourself to be scared. Understand that trembling with fear means trying to overcome it. The tremor happens due to the great loss of energy when you begin to attach great importance to your fear. But, when you consciously enter into your fear, you will see how your fear will gradually disappear.
4. Understanding that everything is logical in our Universe
My fourth tip on how to deal with fear is to understand that the Universe never wastes its energy. Everything is logical – it is simply not profitable to spend energy on something that requires large energy costs. Trouble is always associated with high energy costs. And pleasant events, on the contrary, are the norm, and, accordingly, require minimal energy consumption.
When the mind does not understand the law of least resistance, it begins to struggle with the Universe, creating obstacles and new problems. It is the mind, not the Universe! The mind tries to control everything, creating a scenario of undesirable events. And, paradoxically, it is you, and not someone else, scrolling in your head all those thoughts about what you are afraid of and what you do NOT want. And this is how you create for yourself a reality that is full of negative events. Everything is logical – we attract what we reflect.
The thing is, you don’t know and you can’t know how things are supposed to develop in the Universe for your Highest good. So stop constantly worrying about all the possible scenarios. All you have to do is formulate a firm intention to get what you DO WANT and stop focusing on what you would like to avoid. Trust the Universe – it always organizes everything in the best way for you.
Very soon you will notice that all the circumstances in your life begin to develop favorably, as if by themselves, and without your intervention. It is not profitable for the Universe to make troubles for you, not only because it loves and always cares about you, but, above all, because less energy is spent in this way.
When you are happy and satisfied, you draw energy from your Inner source through the positive vibrations that you yourself radiate. When you worry and panic, being under the influence of your ego, you block the connection with your internal source of energy and begin to “pull” this energy directly from the Universe or from the energy field of the people around you, thereby, committing energy theft and violating the Law of energy exchange in the Universe. Moreover, this energy you spend on your negative emotions, creating, thereby, negative energy radiation on the Earth. Of course, such radiation is extremely unprofitable for the Universe. So to compensate for the energy you took from it, it will give you exactly what resonates with your radiation. If you radiate fear, then, accordingly, you will get exactly what you are so afraid of.
Note:
the Internal source of man contains as much energy as the Universe has given him according to his individual development and needs. The increase in the amount of human energy of the internal source occurs through the disclosure of its internal potential. Negative emotions are a form of blocking of the inner potential, which prevents the flow of energy from the internal source. A person under the influence of negative emotions begins to take energy directly from the universal source or from the energy field of the people around him, which leads to a violation of the law of energy exchange.
The Universe compensates for the “stolen” energy by taking away from a person what is important to him: health, close people, well-being, etc. We always receive energy of exactly the quality that we radiate. Negativity always attracts Negativity.
5. Stop vibrating at the low frequency
My fifth tip on how to deal with fear is about offensive people. If you are afraid that you may be offended by a particular person, you need to stop vibrating at the same frequency with him. The one who wants to hurt you emits a low vibration: negative emotions such as aggression, anger, hatred, etc. Because he emits these vibrations, it requires energy to maintain him. Moreover, this energy must be similar to the energy of his emotions – that is, it must also be negative.
The most convenient way to obtain the energy of this quality is to cause fear in his victim. Thus, the victim will give him his energy through the manifestation of fear. This, incidentally, is one of the most common forms of energy vampirism. At the same time, fear always attracts exactly what you are afraid of.
To eliminate this type of fear, it is enough to be really indifferent to a potential offender. Just stop thinking about him, consciously letting him go.
6. Understanding that fear lives in the future
This is my last but very important tip on how to deal with fear. It is very important to realize that fear does not exist in the present moment, it always exists in the future. You are always afraid of something that may happen in the future.
For example, if you are on the edge of a cliff, you are afraid that you may fall. But you will fall in the future, not now. Falling into the abyss even in a second is your future, not the present. In the present moment, you are standing on the edge of a cliff, and you’re not falling into it. In other words, in the present moment, you are doing well.
Or, for example, you are afraid to go to the exam. Realize exactly what you are afraid of. Most likely get a bad score. But even if it happens, it will happen in the future. At this moment you are at home preparing for the exam – right now there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of.
Or, for example, you are afraid of flying on a plane. Be aware of what your fear is specifically associated with. After all, in fact, you are not afraid of the plane, and not even the flight. In fact, you are afraid to die in a plane crash. That is, your real fear is the fear of death, not the plane and not the flight. And now, notice what’s happening in the present moment. You’re sitting in a comfortable airplane seat, the stewardess offers you a cup of tea – there is nothing to be afraid of, everything is good.
Thus, fear always lives in the future. And if you feel fear, then you live there with it. You’re not in the present moment. So instead of actively fighting your fear, just go back to the present moment. Do it right now. Stop reading this article for a moment and look around. This is your present. Just a moment separates your present from the past and the future. The present moment is fleeting and barely perceptible, but it is from this moment that the whole life develops. There is no life either in the past or in the future, it is only in the present. So enter the present moment totally, feel its presence, and you will see that there is no fear.
The past is gone – it’s dead. There is no future yet – it was not born. Every moment of your life die for your past and be born for the future. You will be able to relax only when the past will cease to pull you back, and the future will stop contracting you in a state of fear. In the present moment, we are calm, relaxed, balanced, immortal. In the present moment, we are in peace and harmony!
Known for their exaggerated sense of self-importance, narcissists think that the world literally revolves around them. Their actions, attitudes, behavior, and the language they use determine their state. They draw their main satisfaction from making other people see them as persons of great importance who know everything. They do not care whether their actions may have an undesirable effect on others.
Who is a Narcissist?
Narcissists are smitten with an idealized self-image, which they wear around other people to escape reality. Deep down they are wounded creatures who are just too scared to admit it to themselves and other people around them. To compensate for their injuries, they create a “perfect person” who is flawless in an attempt to make themselves feel better.
Psychotherapy has proven to work just fine for the majority of people diagnosed with this condition. It’s not that narcissists are very dangerous people, but spending too much time around them might have adverse effects on you. Their alter-ego may begin to make you feel like a failure or worse still stop you from living to your full potential.
The games narcissists play may also leave you vulnerable to other strangers. Narcissists live on making other people feel less achieved about themselves and regard them as some form of a superhero.
The Mind Games Narcissists Play
Narcissists play mind games to manipulate our thinking. Long encounters with them may even change your perceptions about certain aspects of life. Be on the lookout for the following signs:
Curiosity
Narcissists want to have in-depth knowledge about their next victim. During conversations, they will always ask questions about you, which they will exploit later to their advantage.
Superiority complex
These con artists will feed you tones of information on topics you are not familiar with. The intention is to show how smart they are and how dumb you are. In the end, they will have exerted a form of influence over you, which is always their primary objective.
Creating fear and aggression
This is the weapon they use to get people’s attention and manipulate them eventually. Fear attracts negative energy, which is where they thrive best. They will also use your insecurities to mask their own. Though sad to say, deep down narcissists feel like the ugly duck. To cover this up and make themselves feel better, they will consistently bring up your insecurities during the conversations to make you feel inferior and bad about yourself.
An act of innocence
Narcissists are the sly fox, and that is how they end up taking the blame off them whenever they mess up. They have perfected the art of pretense so much that it is almost impossible to notice when they are putting on a show and when they are sincere (which rarely happens).
Narcissists will also twist information with made up stories that portray them as the helpless ones. They are always shifting the blame for their actions onto others including you.
Exerting unnecessary pressure on you
The primary goal is to render you emotionally unstable so that you can’t make independent sound decisions. You will notice once they start trying to comfort you right after ticking you off; though this might seem elusive since the emotional charge is in play.
How to Deal with Narcissists
You don’t have to be completely helpless against narcissists. Below are strategies to help you play their own game against them to prevent them from using you. The first step, however, is to identify these games narcissistic play first.
- Whenever they confront you with multiple questions, look them straight in the eyes. Eye contact makes them face the other direction. Only a sincere person can maintain a clear eye gaze.
- Change the conversation. Narcissists want to know a great deal of information about you. Don’t be too quick to give it to them. Slow them down by asking questions about themselves or changing the topic whenever they shift focus on you.
- Question more. Once they start showing off with figures and statistics, question the sources of their information. You will notice some skepticism, and gradually they draw away from you. This is one of the most effective ways to protect yourself from the games narcissists play. Don’t readily take in everything they present to you lest you fall victim to their scams.
- Have self-confidence. Narcissists prey on people who are less confident and have esteem issues. Work on your confidence so that when they come blowing their sense of self-importance, you can quickly shut them off.
- Loosen up a bit. If you get emotionally unstable quickly, try lighting up the mood. Whenever a narcissist tries to destabilize your emotions, go ahead and say something funny to shift the focus.
- Preserve your personal space. Don’t let just about anyone invade your personal space. If you have had enough of someone, it is prudent to tell them so or just distance yourself from them.
- Stay calm and decompress. You can do this either through meditation or just taking some time off. It is normal that there will always be people with more achievements than you have made. Do not let this get to you. Sit back and re-strategize on ways of living to your full potential without necessarily comparing yourself to others.
- Identify your insecurities. We all have a sense of insecurity one way or the other, and this is perfectly human. Know what your insecurities are and if you can’t fix them don’t let someone use them against you. This may be difficult, but once you get the hang of it, you become a stable, productive being.
The Bottom Line
Life comes with its challenges. The games narcissists play might overwhelm you, but you have to outsmart them. Eventually, its either you put them in their place, or you fall prey. To help these people, encourage them to attend psychological counseling. But as for you, stay safe from the games narcissists play.
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