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8 Signs You Have a Wounded Inner Child

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Every child deserves to feel safe, protected, and secure. However, not every child does. Most parents see safety as physical protection from harm, or providing the essentials for their children. Safety also means support on an emotional, psychological, and spiritual level. When we don’t feel safe as children this feeling of endangerment becomes constant and long-lasting, and a huge gaping wound appears in our psyche. Our adult selves often repress this painful wound, but its impacts are profound and far-reaching. In this article, I want to introduce you to 8 common signs that indicate that you have a wounded inner child.

However, in order for this article to be a useful source for you, I need you to get into a reflective space in your mind where you can openly reflect on your own childhood and how you felt as a child. It’s very important to ask yourself such questions as:

  • Did I feel safe?
  • Did I feel a sense of belonging in my family?
  • Was I permitted to be myself?
  • Do I still have any resentment coming from my childhood?
  • What is my current relationship with my inner child like?

Use this article for introspection and self-reflection. Please, understand that inner child healing is one of the most serious and profound forms of inner work you can do.

What Is the Inner Child?

inner child healing meditation Image

The inner child is a “part” of our personality that stores all our memories, feelings, needs, reactions, attitudes towards ourselves and others, and behaviors that we have preserved from our childhood.

In other words, your inner child is the child that lives within you, to be exact – within your psyche. It is important that we stay connected with this sensitive part of ourselves. When we are connected to our inner child, we feel excited, enthusiastic, and inspired by life. 

If in childhood some of our important psychological needs were not met, then our inner child “gets stuck” and can not continue to grow and develop. Inner child healing can help us to face our fears and insecurities that were created in our childhood and heal these inner wounds.

What Is the Wounded Inner Child?

The wounded inner child is the part of us that bears the imprint of our psychological traumas.

Trauma is our psychological wound. This is our reaction to some event or many similar events that our psyche could not cope with. And as a result, it was divided into the injured part (i.e., our wounded inner child) and the part of the protector.

Such a traumatic event could be as:
  • something extreme. For example, an attack, a fire, a war, someone’s murder, a natural disaster, etc. All these extreme events lead to shock trauma.
  • a lot of unpleasant, more “casual” events, but recurring regularly. For example, psychological violence, violation of agreements on the part of the parent, lack of attention, rejection, unacceptance of some qualities or behavior patterns, etc. These “casual” events lead to relationship trauma.

Our traumatized inner child encourages us to face similar painful events (that caused trauma) again and again to attract our attention so we can finally heal our wounds. And the other part of us, our inner protector, wants to avoid meeting with such an event to protect us from pain.

This inner protector, which protects us from repeating the trauma of the relationship, can manifest itself in us through the fear of intimacy when we are afraid to let another person close to us, or even afraid to enter into a relationship. The fear of close relationships is formed in us as a result of the trauma of relationships.

The inner child healing takes place through the healing of its “wounded part”. That is, through working with the trauma of the relationship. And as a result of the healing, our ability to have close, trusting, loving relationships with others increases.

Here’s How to Tell Your Inner Child Is Wounded

1. Poor Self-Esteem

Poor Self-Esteem Image

Low self-esteem is usually a result of not knowing yourself, knowing your worth, living authentically, and owning both your strengths and struggles.

This trait leads to many other side effects, such as not believing in yourself or your abilities, criticizing yourself, thinking of yourself as “less than,” etc. This can also result in developing body image issues and eating disorders. To have healthy self-esteem, you need to discover, accept, and love who you really are through re-parenting your inner child.

2. Your Boundaries Are Either Too Weak Or Too Rigid

Do you feel like you don’t really know how to create healthy boundaries with others? Is it hard for you to say “NO” to people? Do you tend to put your needs secondary? This could be a result of you being uncomfortable with saying “NO” to your parents because of the fear to disappoint them or even the fear of punishment. As a child, you were suppressing your needs and desires trying to be a good girl or a good boy for your parents. Now, being an adult, you’re still carrying this program in your unconsciousness. You may even show this in situations where you are intimate with someone even if you don’t feel totally comfortable with it.

OR…

The situation could be totally opposite if you have super rigid, inflexible boundaries that nobody can cross. One of them could be your personal space. When you feel overwhelmed, instead of openly telling people they’ve been disrespecting your need for personal space, you simply cut them off. This kind of behavior is your coping mechanism to protect yourself from being hurt.

3. You Are Ashamed of Expressing Emotions

Shame is a very toxic emotion, especially for children. If you grew up in an environment where sharing and expressing your emotions was considered an expression of weakness, you could still be dealing with shame when it comes to expressing your emotions and feelings.

Shame creates feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness, or regret. The feeling of being ashamed can be experienced as such a negative, intense emotion of self-loathing that it can make a person act like a bully, giving it away by evoking that emotion in others.

childhood trauma Image

When children are emotionally or physically abandoned, abused, or neglected they often take on the shame that belongs to the adult who left or hurt them by assuming that it’s because they themselves are the “bad” one. Some children behave in ways that make them culpable for the shame that belongs to their parents.

4. You Have the Fear Of Abandonment

This fear can be expressed in the form of being clingy, overly insecure, codependent. It can even manifest itself in a form of depression or anxiety.

If you have the fear of abandonment and if you are afraid that people you love can leave you, it becomes impossible to maintain healthy relationships.

The fear of abandonment is one of the most common and most damaging fears of all. This can be a reason for so many unhealthy codependent relationships that exist in modern society.

5. You are a People-pleaser

Do you find yourself clinging to people, grasping for any attention and approval? Do you tend to do anything just to keep people happy and not to lose anyone? Do you feel like it’s super hard for you to let anyone or anything go? If the answer is “yes”, you could be a people-pleaser.

The reason why you could be stuck in the people-pleaser role is that you are afraid of disappointing and frustrating other people. And you are afraid because you unconsciously associate your worth with external validation.

A “people-pleaser” role that you tend to play most likely was manifested in your childhood when you were forced to silence your needs, feelings, emotions, and thoughts, to the point where you weaken your sense of self.

6. You Avoid People

Do you have extreme fear or anxiety when having to deal with or be around people? This can be a sign of a wounded inner child. The degree of avoiding people may vary. It may just be anxiety with a lot of people in a social situation or any amount of people. It may manifest itself in going out of your way to have food and other items delivered to you to keep from interactions. You feel most comfortable and safe when you are staying home.

7. You are Addiction Prone

Do you get easily addicted/attached to drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, pornography, gambling, or any other extreme obsessive tendencies? Do you feel like it’s important for you to receive that rush of “feel good” hormones? Your childhood wounds could be the reason why you’re so easily attached to these obsessive tendencies.

Addiction Prone Image

Did you know that addiction is often a symptom of underlying trauma that hasn’t been processed? Instead of confronting our issues and letting ourselves feel pain, we often tend to block our emotions to avoid feeling pain.

But the truth is, you are not really addicted to the substance itself; you are addicted to the feeling it gives you, to the relief and escapism it provides you.

To recover from your addiction, you need to face your shadow by asking yourself these 3 important questions:

  • What am I avoiding?
  • What am I suppressing?
  • What am I in denial about?

8. You Have Trust Issues

Your distrust is a defense mechanism for avoiding emotional pain, anxiety, fears, and disappointments. Trust issues often stem from a wounded inner child that learned the hard way that people can’t be trusted.

The problem becomes even more complicated when you also have self-doubt. If you were neglected, invalidated, gaslighted, or emotionally abused as a child, it is not easy to build healthy self-esteem and self-confidence.

You have to remember that even the smallest words could cause a wound. For example, if your parents constantly told you “your grades should be better” or “don’t be so sensitive”, you absorb the message that something’s wrong with you and that you will never be good enough. On messages like these, it’s very hard to build self-esteem and self-confidence.

Self-Healing

wounded inner child image

Learning to work with your inner child is about reconnecting with the sincere, childlike part inside.

Inner child healing leads us to a state of purity and innocence. We all have the potential to experience true simplicity by reconnecting with and healing a period of our lives when we saw the world with openness and wonder.

In order to eliminate the feelings of guilt, shame, fear, hatred, disgust, and anger that we carry with us throughout our lives, we must heal the child inside. To do this, we need to earn the trust of our inner child through unconditional love and self-nurturing.

To learn more about the methods of inner child healing, read my article “Inner Child Healing: 4 Surprisingly Effective Practices“.

The Bottom Line

As you can see, your inner child does not disappear once you become an adult. On the contrary, it stays within you, reminding you of all the wounds you haven’t healed yet. There is a variety of symptoms that can point to a wounded inner child. You may have just accepted or tried to ignore many of these behaviors in yourself. However, in order to heal, you need to confront the pain that caused the wounds.

Katya Ki is the Founder of SOLANCHA Magazine, a Metaphysical Expert, a Reiki Master, and Human Rights Attorney. She has been studying Eastern metaphysics, cosmology, and esotericism for almost 20 years now. And she's still discovering new knowledge, which is hidden in ancient teachings. During her pilgrimage to the monastery of Saint Catherine in Egypt, she discovered the SOLANCHA System. This is how the SOLANCHA journey started!

Healing

What Is a Spiritual Bath & Why You Need One Right Now

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Spiritual Bath Image

Spiritual baths have been used in many cultures and have been known since ancient times. These special bath rituals were designed to purify the aura, cleanse the soul, clear the mind, and heal the spirit. The main goal of such baths is to help clear any blockage that can lead to more serious illnesses and restore one’s energy levels.

So, if you feel emotionally exhausted, overwhelmed, or stressed, you definitely need to take a spiritual bath! Spiritual baths can also be used as a powerful manifestation tool to bring the desired benefits of life, such as love, abundance, success, creativity, etc.

In this article, we will introduce you to spiritual bath rituals and give you helpful tips on how to get the best experience out of them. Read on!

What Is a Spiritual Bath?

Before we start dwelling on the instructions and practical tips on how to take a spiritual bath, let us give a quick explanation of what a spiritual bath actually is.

A spiritual bath is a bath ritual that is designed to cleanse your mind and spirit by using powerful ingredients that charge the bathwater with healing vibrations that help you to remove blockages, toxic energies, and stressful situations that are no longer serving you in any constructive way. The spiritual regeneration occurs from soaking in warm water infused by the powerful essential oils, healing herbs, and crystals; as well as from setting a clear intention announced in a form of affirmation or mantra.

How to Take a Spiritual Bath?

what is a spiritual bath image

Step 1: Preparation

Before you start taking a spiritual bath and setting the intentions, you have to make sure that your bathroom is ready for the spiritual ritual. You need to transform your bathroom into a sacred space that resonates with spiritual intentions. Clean and declutter your bathroom and tub.

It would be great if you also paid attention to the Feng Shui of your bathroom and reorganize everything according to its principles. Check out our article 7 Feng Shui Bathroom Tips, Taboos, And Cures to learn more about it.

Clean your tub, straighten your countertops, and make room for the things you want to be surrounded by during your spiritual bath practice. Anything you bring into this practice such as oils, crystals, or candles should be intentionally picked to invoke a sense of your intended energy cleanse.

Step 2: Take a Shower

Take a quick shower and clean yourself.

Step 3: Set Your Intention

Decide on the intention of your spiritual bath. The energy you give to this bath is what you will get back. 

Step 4: Fill the Bathtub and Gather the Ingredients

Fill the bathtub with water at a temperature that feels most comfortable. As the tub is filling up, gather all the ingredients you need. You will need the ingredients that will be mixed directly into your bathwater, such as herbs, essential oils, and salts, as well as things that will complement the bath and the atmosphere, such as candles, incense, and crystals. You may want to light incense, palo santo stick, sage, or a few candles. Maybe you will want to play some meditative music that will relax your mind into a calm, meditative state.

Step 5: Say a Prayer or a Mantra

Before you get into the bathtub or as you are stirring in your ingredients, you may want to say a prayer, mantra, or intention aloud. It can be anything you want, as long as it aligns with your general intention for the spiritual bath.

Step 6: Bath for 30-40 Minutes 

Step into the bath and soak for about 20-30 minutes. Try and keep as much of your body submerged as possible. Cup your hands and gently pour the water over your head. As you relax in the water, clear your mind of all negative thoughts and focus on your intention to let go of all stress and negativity. While soaking, you can repeat your intention, mantra, or positive affirmations to charge yourself with positive healing energy.

Step 7: Let Your Body Breathe

self-care rituals image

After you get out of the bath, let your body air dry naturally rather than with a towel. This will help your body continue to take in the positive energy. When you are mostly dry, get comfortable and rest for at least 20-30 minutes. You may want to lay down, focus on your breathing, meditate and just relax. 

Bath Ingredients

There are many different ways you can prepare spiritual baths with different ingredients. You can use just one or two ingredients or opt for even more. It is entirely up to you! Here are some options to choose from:

#1: Salts

Using natural salts for your spiritual bath will help you to release any kind of toxic energies, negative thoughts, and feelings. Pink Himalayan salt, natural sea salt, and Epsom salt are great for this purpose. Use 2-3 good handfuls or less.

However, make sure you are not using regular table salts for your baths because they contain anti-caking agents and have gone through a refining process that has removed many of the beneficial minerals.

#2: Baking Soda

Using baking soda for spiritual baths helps to purify your aura from any negative energies. In addition, soaking in such a bath leaves your skin feeling soft and smooth. Use ¼ cup-2 cups.

#3: Rose Water

Boil fresh rose petals until all of the color is out of the petals. Let them cool and add to a warm bath. Feel free to add in some extra petals, fresh or dried, to your bath for extra aroma.

Rose water makes an excellent spiritual bath to uplift moods and make you feel more self-love if you’ve not been taking good care of yourself lately. Throw in some rose petals for good measure and let the fragrance of the bath fill your spirits with loving energy and appreciation of who you are.

#4: Lavender

Lavender bath salt image

For your spiritual bath, you may want to use whole buds boiled in water or pure essential oil. Lavender promotes relaxation by its calming effect on your mental and emotional state. Such a bath is a great stress reliever. Use enough lavender to produce an aroma.

#5: Carnations

Boil fresh pink and red carnations in a pot of water with honey and coconut milk. Then strain the mixture to keep the liquid as an ingredient for the bath. Taking a bath with such a mixture helps to heal a broken heart and infuse your aura with love vibrations.

Here is a list of some more ideas for what you can use in a spiritual bath:

Essential Oils: Sandalwood, Palo Santo, Eucalyptus, Patchouli, Lemon, Frankincense, May Chang, Clary Sage.

Herbs, flowers, plants: sage, eucalyptus leaf, juniper berries, peppermint leaf, angelica root, bay.

Crystals: moonstone, amethyst, labradorite, smoky quartz, selenite, obsidian, clear quartz, citrine.

The Bottom Line

A spiritual bath is a wonderful self-care ritual that each of us needs. Anytime you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, it is important to take time for yourself so a break like this can be helpful. This can be something you want to include into your weekly routine or during your day of self-care. Taking time for a spiritual bath will definitely help you to regain balance in life and feel more energized, calm, and peaceful.

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Healing

The Art of Deep Listening: A Healing Practice for Suffering Souls

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Are you battling anxiety or depression? Does waking up each day feel like a struggle? If so, you could be having undigested emotions weighing you down. Huh? See, trauma, abuse, or a sudden illness can make us have unpleasant emotions leading to soul loss. Unless you start your healing process, these emotions remain hidden in your subconscious, causing havoc to your life for years to come. Indeed, we can never wish away our unpleasant feelings. But we can deal with them through the art of deep listening.

What Is Deep Listening?

Deep listening is a form of mindful meditation whereby you become fully present to your inner self or those around you. Simply put, it is a spiritual practice of listening to connect. Here, you engage in quiet moments that help you awaken your buried emotions.

Similarly, you nurture a connection with anyone talking to you at that moment, sharing your goals, dreams, fears, and concerns. Hence, it entails listening to yourself or others to form a connection.

Active Listening vs. Deep Listening

Active listening refers to you choosing to be fully present in a conversation. It forms the basis of deep listening because you focus on what the other person is saying as you become an active listener. Deep listeners go a step further to connect to those non-verbal communications from the other person. More so, deep listening includes listening to our emotions to connect to them.

Why Do We Need to Practice Deep Listening?

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Listening with intention helps you understand your surrounding and the people closest to you. In turn, you learn how to best respond to your emotions and those of others. This understanding is necessary when undertaking your soul loss healing process. Below are more benefits of deep listening:

#1: Develop Resistance Against Surrounding Distractions

We live in a digital age where smartphones, computers, and other smart gadgets distract us all day. These technologies make it almost impossible to maintain eye contact when talking to someone else. Likewise, they eat into our self-care time, robbing us of a chance to connect to our inner feelings. Deep listening encourages us to maintain undivided attention to our inner self or those near us.

#2: Resist the Temptation to Respond Without Deep Thought

One of the barriers to effective communication is selective listening. Here, we choose what we want to hear, then formulate responses that we think are suitable. A biased listener is always quick to offer solutions without taking into account the other person’s feelings. Likewise, if we never take time to listen to our inner self, we may judge ourselves based on the stigma surrounding our conditions.

#3: Facilitates Soul Loss Healing Process

Have you been diagnosed with a mental illness? Do you feel like you are going crazy because that is what society brands you? If so, you may find yourself hiding away from friends and family, fearing being caught off guard by their out-of-control emotions.

However, did you know that a bit of deep listening practice can unearth the unresolved emotions behind mental illness? 

A person who understands the root cause of their mental conditions can practice self-care and have self-compassion for healthy living because shadow emotions are never permanent. Mindful meditation allows you to change your emotional triggers, hence, facilitate the soul loss healing process. 

Deep Listening Must Be Intentional

Now, anyone can practice deep listening at any time or place. However, did you know that not everyone can listen without bias or aiming to be a problem solver? Yes, deep listening is not easy. It takes time and practice to develop the skills.

The Techniques

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Now that we have an idea of what deep listening is all about, here are some top deep listening techniques you can start practicing today:

#1: Heart-Gut Centering

Are you making a life-changing decision? Find a quiet place at home or outdoors. Set up your mat or pillows to sit comfortably. Place one hand on your stomach and the other against your chest. Concentrate on listening to your inner voice. What do you hear?

The head, heart, and gut are the centers of our decision-making. The head is our rational brain, the heart is the emotional brain, and the gut is the intuitive brain. There are lots of instances where we follow our gut feelings or heart feelings. These are the times where logical thinking using our brain may not be adequate in assessing emotions.

Listening to your heart and gut allows you to be a rational thinker who weighs your feelings and emotions. In turn, you avoid cognitive dissonance, a state of inner conflict that can lead to anxiety and depression

#2: Listening to the Surrounding Voices

When was the last time you were still and listened to voices all around you? It may be the whistling trees in your backyard, a shaky door, a ticking clock, or the sound of your breathing. Whatever you get to hear, allowing yourself to connect to your surrounding gets you into a mindful state. This awareness state refreshes your mind, expands your thought process, and renews your wisdom and intelligence.

#3: Journal Your Thoughts

Are you feeling lonely, depressed, or in a crisis? Put what you are feeling in writing. Conscious writing is an excellent way to practice deep listening. You use pen and paper as an avenue for your creative energy and ideas to flow. Doing so gives you mental clarity, regaining a sense of sanity when overwhelmed with emotions.

Here are some tips to get you started:
  • Use a pen and paper instead of your smartphone or notebook. Journaling your thought this way is real and tangible.
  • Write it as it is, immediately the thought pops in your head. Do not overthink.
  • Maintain a dream journal.  Capture what you remember from your dreams, then reflect on it.
  • Grammatical errors are allowed. What matters is getting your thoughts on paper.
  • Read aloud what you have written. It will give you a chance to hear your thoughts and voice your unspoken pain and trauma.

Conclusion

Deep listening is necessary if you want to develop mindful thinking and grow your emotional intelligence. These two aspects ensure you stay in tune with your inner self and be more susceptible to non-verbal communications from others. That way, you live in the present, embrace your uniqueness, and cut yourself some slack, especially when undergoing a challenging emotional experience. 

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Healing

Crystal Quiz: What’s Your Healing Stone?

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Crystal Quiz Image

Crystal Quiz

0%

What's the biggest obstacle on your way?

What brings you the biggest joy?

What do you lack in life?

What do you want to attract into your life?

What do you want to get rid of?

What would you like to feel more of?

What things could you use help with?

What is the most important thing to you right now?

Healing crystals have different uses. What do you want one for?

If one thing would make you a better person, it would be ...

Which negative emotion are you most likely to feel?

Life is nothing without goals. What kind of change do you want over the next year?

What is your main goal in your spiritual work?

Which of the following are you most interested in learning more about?

What ability would you like to nurture right now?

Crystal Quiz: What's Your Healing Stone?
Black Tourmaline

Black Tourmaline Image

Black Tourmaline is your secret weapon! It will help you to call on the natural powers of protection. This powerful stone has the ability to transmute negative energies into something positive. If you struggle to feel safe, find yourself feeling lost and vulnerable in this world, and often feel like your own emotions are spinning out of control, then Black Tourmaline is what you need to bring yourself back to grounding. In addition, it cleanses your aura and gives you psychic protection from negative energies. Black Tourmaline helps to get rid of negative thoughts, stress, and anxiety. It also supports the immune system and balances the Root chakra. And, what's the most important nowadays - Black Tourmaline is a great EMF protection tool! If you suffer from nightmares, astral attacks, energy vampires, toxic environments, or any kinds of psychic attacks, then Black Tourmaline is the stone you need right now! To activate your Black Tourmaline, use this affirmation: "I banish negativity. I am protected on all levels."
Rose Quartz

rose quartz quiz image

Your healing crystal is Rose Quartz! This beautiful crystal is intricately connected to the Heart chakra, therefore, it is often used in helping the heart heal from the pain or trauma left from deep emotional wounds. Rose Quartz is also used as a calling card for those who want to attract love in their lives. By unblocking and healing your Heart chakra, this crystal puts you back in alignment so you feel connected, comforted, and open to all the possibilities that a joyous life can bring. Rose Quartz is a crystal that teaches deep compassion, trust, the art of mothering oneself, and the harmony that healing can bring. It restores harmony in relationships, balances emotions, promotes self-love, soothes grief and heartache, amplifies creativity and imagination, helps to raise your self-esteem and restore confidence. To activate your Rose Quartz crystal, use this affirmation: "I deserve love and compassion. I radiate love. I am love."
Citrine

Citrine image

Your healing crystal is citrine! Citrine is like a summer holiday for your soul! It brings the power of positivity and a burst of bright energy into your life. It works wonders when it comes to warming your physical body and bringing uplifting moods. An instant pick me up, Citrine brings a bounty of energy and can be an amazing healing tool to those who suffer from chronic fatigue or other conditions that run your personal resources low. This is the stone that will pull you up by your bootstraps but not leave you out of balance. It helps to keep the thyroid working well, stimulates a healthy digestive system, improves your blood circulation, and keeps allergies and all kinds of skin irritations on the down-low. Citrine can help you to fight phobias through the gentle flow of healing energy. When you feel the flow of sweet optimism, this helps you to tap into your power of manifestation and attract abundance, prosperity, and success into your life. Citrine will also boost your willpower and confidence so that you'll be able to achieve your goals. To activate your Citrine crystal, use this affirmation: "I step into my power with confidence."
Amethyst

amethyst image

Your healing crystal is amethyst. It is renowned for bringing a sense of calm and clarity to our chaotic world. Those who keep this crystal close will find that they feel comforted, grounded, and soothed in a truly uplifting way. Amethyst centers the emotions, heals grief, loss, and all shades of sadness. It nurtures meditation, encourages restful sleep, helps us to divine our deeper paths through life, promotes deep transformation in our lives. Amethyst kindles the Third eye to awaken and grants the sixth sense to bloom into being. This crystal helps us to awaken our intuition, develop our psychic abilities, activate spiritual awareness, and let our inner wisdom flow. It also helps to relieve stress and strain, soothe irritability, balance mood swings. Moreover, amethyst dispels anger, rage, fear and anxiety, and dissolves negativity. To activate your amethyst crystal, use this affirmation: "I am connected with my Higher Self and trust my intuition to guide me in the right direction".

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Mention the term “freethinker” and a sense of rebellion, going against the masses comes to mind. You know, society quickly...

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Inspirational quotes4 weeks ago

60 Harmony Quotes To Inspire You to Find Balance In Life

Life is like a symphony, with ups and downs, surprises, and instruments that are in sync with each other. So...

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