Love
Best Crystals For Love, Relationship, and Romance
Published
3 years agoon
One of the main components of happiness is a harmonious romantic relationship. We are all different and our emotions are very diverse, so it is not always easy to create a truly harmonious relationship. In this article, we want to share with you the best crystals for love, relationship, and romance you can use to attract love and romance into your life.
Love Is The Foundation Of Life
We all know that love is the foundation on which life and the whole universe is built. Therefore it’s quite logical that the main component of any relationship should be love. There are different kinds of love, such as relationships between lovers, parents and children, family members, friends. All of them are necessary for our happiness and spiritual growth. Crystals can be useful in all cases.
Where there is love, conflicts disappear, growth and abundance appear, fears disappear, the true spiritual nature of the person manifests itself, healing occurs, true happiness comes.
Self-Love Comes First
In order to share your love with somebody, you have to learn how to love yourself. Self-love always comes first! This is the law!
Practice forgiveness and self-acceptance. When you love yourself, your heart becomes receptive to love, and this opens the way for the restoration of broken relationships, attracting your soul mate, and improving your ability to interact with others. Know that you are perfect in your natural state, just like everyone else. With the acceptance of this fact, you will truly love yourself.
Take A Close Look at Your Relationship
If you look closely at your relationships and your role in them you will find that there are certain qualities (both in yourself and in your relationships) that need to be strengthened, developed, or changed. Crystals can provide you with this help, as their energy will stimulate certain qualities of the relationship. They will bring harmony, love, help to settle conflicts and transform negative features into positive ones.
There are many qualities that help build positive relationships. Among them: mutual understanding, warmth, acceptance, patience, the ability to forgive, compassion, care, kindness. By developing these qualities you will be able to attract love into your life and strengthen existing relationships.
Best Crystals For Love
Obviously, you don’t need crystals in order to love yourself, others, or to feel loved. But there are some crystals that radiate the energy of love, thus helping you to tune yourself into the flow of love and so you can better resonate with Divine love.
Here is the list of the best crystals for love, relationship, and romance:
Aventurine
Aventurine is one of the best crystals for love! This beautiful crystal expands opportunities to attract love (especially mature love), strengthens a mature relationship, reduces stress and removes negativity.
Agate
This crystal enhances and attracts love.
Emerald
It strengthens love in marriage. Emerald attracts romantic bliss and loyalty. It enhances unconditional love, unity, and partnership.
Moonstone
It attracts love, tenderness, and romance; increases passion; encourages to believe in love. Moonstone also balances emotions and calms over-reactions to negative situations, which helps to prevent arguments.
Red Garnet
This crystal helps to find true love and revitalize feelings. Red Garnet balances the sex drive while inspiring devotion and love.
Magnetite
It attracts love, commitment, and loyalty. It brings stability to the relationship.
Jade
This beautiful crystal helps open up your heart to unconditional love, increases trustworthiness and fidelity.
Pink Tourmaline
Attracts true love, affection, and devotion. Pink Tourmaline helps to boost your self-love. Moreover, this crystal can help you to cleanse your emotional body of negative energy, destructive feelings, and old wounds. It helps to release anxiety, depression, worry, and guilt.
Rhodonite
Helps distinguish true love from fantasy and heal your relationships. This crystal carries healing vibrations that help with emotional healing and relationship problems. It increases compassion and forgiveness.
Amethyst
Amethyst helps to find love with a calm and balanced person. This crystal brings peace and balance into your life and opens up your heart for love.
To learn more about Amethyst properties read my article “8 Ways to Use Amethyst Crystal in Your Spiritual Practice”.
Rhodochrosite
This crystal holds the delicate but powerful frequency that attracts love by opening up the heart chakra with its healing vibrations. Rhodochrosite gives the courage to trust another soul and helps to find a soul mate.
Ruby
Increases unconditional love, helps romantic relationships, increases love in marriage, devotion, and passion.
Rose Quartz
One of the most powerful love crystals! It helps to accept and love yourself, attracts true love and helps to develop unconditional love.
To learn more about Rose Quartz properties read my article “Divine Feminine Nature of Rose Quartz, Its Healing, and Magical Properties“.
Sapphire
Inspires romantic love and helps the couple to gain trust in each other.
Topaz
Attracts romantic love and teaches how to love. Also, Topaz helps you to balance your emotions and to be open to the love of all kinds.
Lapis Lazuli
It helps bring balance, harmony, compassion, and honesty to your relationship. This crystal also helps with good communication and listening.
Chalcedony
Enhances the ability to unconditional love, encourages love, sympathy, and kindness to yourself and others.
Chrysocolla
Increases the ability to love. Chrysocolla empowers feminine energy in men and women due to its deep connection to the vibrations of the Earth, which vibrates with the pure energy of love.
Amber
Attracts love and inspires romance.
Best Crystals For Love And Their Qualities
For love to flourish, it is necessary to display different qualities and aspects of love. Each crystal radiates different kinds of vibrations that resonate with certain qualities. Use the list below to choose the qualities you want to develop and crystals that can help you with this!
Balance: diamond, tourmaline
Unselfishness: moonstone, ruby
Fidelity: turquoise, lapis lazuli, jade, opal, sapphire, amber
Expression of emotions: aventurine, amazonite, opal, rhodochrosite, pink tourmaline
Harmony: diamond, blue agate, quartz, jade, pyrite, rhodochrosite, sapphire, chrysocolla
Trust: amazonite, sapphire
Kindness: blue agate, jade, rhodochrosite, chalcedony
Friendship: agate, diamond, jade, lapis lazuli, rhodochrosite, Topaz
Unity: blue agate (for unity in love), carnelian (for unity in the family)
Care: moonstone, jade, pink tourmaline, chalcedony, chrysocolla, Jasper
Comfort: turquoise, red garnet, rhodochrosite, chrysocolla
Peacefulness: aquamarine, chrysocolla
Support: agate, ivory
Help: agate, quartz, jade, rhodochrosite, chalcedony, amber
Acceptance: moonstone, chrysocolla
Forgiveness: rhodochrosite, Topaz
Communication: aquamarine, blue agate, rhinestone, chrysocolla
Responsibility: aquamarine, black onyx, sardonyx
Conflict resolution: agate (between friends), aquamarine, ruby, tourmaline (between lovers)
Empathy: turquoise, moonstone, pink tourmaline
Sympathy: aventurine, red garnet, malachite, rhodochrosite, tourmaline
Honesty: aquamarine, amazonite, blue agate
Openness: amazonite, moonstone
Patience: blue agate, chalcedony, chrysocolla, amber
Respect: lapis lazuli
Stability: red garnet, opal, chalcedony, chrysocolla
Conclusion
Crystals are the children of our planet, as well as human beings. They are living beings from the mineral kingdom with their own unique character. In this article, we have shared with you some of the best crystals for love which are able to harmonize many traits, increase attractiveness, reveal and manifest the bright side of your personality and create a harmonious relationship full of love! Simply take one of them in your palm, tune in to its energy and feel whether this crystal resonates with you.
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Practicing Mirror Work for Self-Love: The 8-Step Guide
Published
5 months agoon
January 26, 2022Do you have emotional blocks that hinder your self-esteem and self-confidence? If so, start practicing self-love to transform your life for the better. One such self-love technique is mirror work. It entails looking at your reflection in the mirror and practicing self-talk using positive affirmations. Here, you view your reflection as a dear friend and start opening up on your shadow emotions, to heal your inner self.
This article breaks down the steps to practice mirror work.
Understanding Mirror Work
Mirror work is a self-love practice that focuses on your face. Ideally, you stand or sit in front of a mirror with a full view of your face. Then, you start repeating self-love affirmations to your reflection. At first, you may doubt some of the words you utter and even want to give up the practice. Still, hold on to the end to build your self-love muscles.
Mirror work helps us love ourselves regardless of our shape, size, color, or flaws. More so, it aims at making us feel great in our skin, no matter what society deems to be normal.
The Origin of Mirror Work
Evidence of mirror work practices dates back to the 13th century when Persians would use the mirror to block evil spirits. Later in the 17th century, Hinduism and Jainism embraced mirror work, with most believers hanging shisha torans on their front doors to repel bad energies. Nowadays, Louise Hay, a self-love author, and transformational speaker revived the mirror work practice through self-help books and regular publications. Her notable works include the 1984 book release “You Can Heal Your Life” and her 1989 book release “A Garden of Thoughts: My Affirmation Journal.”
The Steps to Practice Mirror Work for Self-Love
Here is a typical mirror work technique you can use: –
Step #1
Sit or stand in front of a mirror that shows the full reflection of your face.
Step #2
Take several deep breaths to relax and keep your mind in the present moment.
Step #3
Look at your reflection to scan the face without judging it.
Step #4
Continue your deep breaths as you take note of: –
- The shape of your face
- The color of your skin
- How your eyebrows shape your face
- The shape of your lips
- How your nose looks like
- The color of your eyes
Step #5
Smile.
Step #6
Now, return the gaze to your eyes.
Step #7
Repeat the following affirmations, say them playfully and emotionally: –
- You are one of a kind
- You are loved
- You have a unique and fabulous face
- I love my eyebrows and the way they shape my eyes
- I love my face exactly as it is
- I love my nose exactly as it is
- I love the color of my eyes
- I love my skin exactly as it is
Step #8
Keep breathing and smiling as you continue with the positive affirmations as follows: –
- I am appreciating my unique face
- I love you, face, exactly as you are
Step #9
Get demonstrative by pointing at the mirror when repeating the affirmations.
5 Tips on Practicing Mirror Work
#1: Be Consistent
Mirror work is a gradual process of self-acceptance. It takes time to change your perception by replacing negative views with positive ones. Hence, commit at least two to three minutes of mirror work each day.
#2: Timing Matters
Pick a time of a day when you have no distractions. It could be early in the morning when you wake up, or when preparing to go to bed at night. Still, if you work at the mall, banking hall, or any other place with lots of mirrors, you may practice mirror work during your coffee or lunch breaks. Besides, most of us have smartphones that take selfies, allowing us to use the phones as mirrors.
#3: Customize Affirmations to Suit Your Circumstances
Affirmations are powerful tools to restore self-worth and more. They reprogram our thinking patterns to counteract our inclination towards negative thoughts. Still, you may quote an affirmation and find it not applicable to what you are going through at the moment. For example, replace the affirmation “I love my nose exactly as it is” with “I love my long, pointed nose”.
In addition,
- Think of a lingering negative thought you have and come up with its positive opposite
- Come up with a short positive affirmation starting with such words as “I” and “My”
- Use the present tense and add some emotions to the positive statement
- Your custom positive affirmation should be realistic and achievable
#4: Repeat the Positive Affirmation as Many Times as Possible
Do you find your mind occupied by negative thoughts connected to anger, sadness, and loneliness? If so, tap into the power of repeated words by reciting your positive affirmations often. Here, you allow these positive words to linger in your mind for longer, gain strength, and affect your thought process. Eventually, these positive affirmations will alter your inner dialogue, replacing it with positive thoughts that provoke feelings of hope, contentment, and gratitude.
#5: Acknowledge Shadow Emotions
As mentioned, mirror work forces us to look at ourselves and accept our flaws. It is a long-term process that involves dealing with the shadow aspects of our lives. For example, you become aware of your resentment and anger towards a scar on your face. This scar could be from a childhood trauma that is still hurting you to date.
Embrace these shadow emotions through self-compassion. Start by forgiving yourself and anyone who hurt you. Take on a growth mindset, looking at your scars as a stepping stone to a better you. Then, maintain a gratitude journal to list the positives out of the trauma.
Conclusion
Practicing mirror work can help you deal with a low self-image and self-esteem issues. Yet, all it takes is a few minutes of looking at your face and repeating positive affirmations to your reflections each day. So, get creative, playful, and demonstrative to customize the self-talk to your unique circumstances.
Relationships
Can the Codependent Relationship Be Saved?
Published
7 months agoon
December 14, 2021We all make relationships (knowingly or subconsciously) with people we meet every day. More so, we behave differently in each relationship depending on whether the other person is a child, parent, friend, workmate, boss, student, client, or a significant intimate partner. Ideally, these are healthy interdependent relationships that allow both parties to thrive. But, what if one of you becomes clingy or emotionally dependent on the other? It becomes an unhealthy codependent relationship. So, can the codependent relationship be saved?
Let’s find out below.
Triggers of Codependency
A codependency relationship involves one party voluntarily caring for their partner with a complex lifestyle issue. Here, instead of the caregiver or codependent looking inward for validation, they seek and receive self-worth from their partners to the detriment of their needs.
In addition, they feel at peace when they can control others. Hence, their self-esteem, thoughts, and feelings depend on how the other person feels or responds to them. The most common trigger of a codependent relationship is childhood emotional neglect or abuse arising from: –
- a child forced to be pseudo-parent to their young siblings due to an absentee parent;
- growing up or caring for a parent struggling with addiction;
- a child becoming a confidant to a parent going through domestic violence;
- the child of a narcissistic parent.
Top 3 Signs of Codependent Personality
#1: Your Partner Struggles with a Complex Lifestyle Issue
One party in a codependent relationship struggles with alcoholism, drugs and substance abuse, chronic gambling, mental health complications, eating disorders, physical disability, or overall irresponsible behavior. It is this need that makes it possible for a codependent relationship to thrive.
#2: You Are the Caregiver or People Pleaser in the Relationship
Codependents feel a constant urge to “save others”. Whereas this behavior sounds admirable, these individuals go further and want to fix problems or challenges on behalf of their partners. For example, they may try to treat an alcoholic spouse but only end up enabling the addiction. Besides, they make their partners dependent on them for everything, further worsening the situation.
#3: Emotional Intimacy is Not Easy for You
Most codependents struggle with low self-esteem and trust issues. In turn, they may avoid active physical contact. For example, they may look emotionless when hugged. Others don’t know how to respond when others praise them. This inability to form emotional intimacy makes them not able to sustain a long-term relationship. Even when they do, they have insatiable sexual desire since their needs are never fully met in the relationship.
Fixing Your Codependent Relationship
Can the codependent relationship be saved? Let’s take the self-evaluation approach here.
#1: Take a Break
Yes, anytime you sense you are in a toxic relationship, including codependency, find a safe way to break away from it. This detachment helps you look back at the relationship with a rational and unbiased perspective. Use this time alone to listen to your thoughts and feelings to discover the new you.
Here are some ideas to help you take a break from a codependent relationship: –
- Acknowledge that you are in a toxic relationship
- Decide to pursue a healthy and loving relationship
- Seek self-compassion as you detox your former beliefs and values that sustained the codependent relationship
Note that detaching from a toxic relationship is never easy. Without a coping mechanism, you may find yourself running back to pick up where you left. Then, opt to live one day at a time, rewarding yourself for small milestones. Also, fill this sudden void by surrounding yourself with positivity. It could be listening to affirmations or practicing self-care.
#2: Rediscover Yourself
Codependent relationships make us neglect our needs as we seek validation from other people. Like, do you recall your identity before getting into this unhealthy union? Rediscover yourself by prioritizing yourself for a change. Use the “me time” to listen to yourself, prioritize your happiness, and show yourself some love. Here are some ways you can practice self-care:
- Spare some time to explore nature
- Binge-watch your favorite comedy series
- Take a spiritual bath
- Revisit your hobbies and interests
- Pamper yourself with gifts
- Join a local gym
#3: Self-Assessment
How do you end up becoming codependent? What are the circumstances or events that happen when you are in a codependent relationship? By understanding your triggers, you can fix your current unhealthy relationship or avoid getting into one in the future. One way to assess yourself is by journalizing your relationships.
Anytime you sense you are becoming codependent, take note of: –
- Events happening at that particular time.
- Who is in that codependent relationship?
- What emotional need do you feel fulfilled in this relationship?
#4: Have a Support System
Share what you are going through with a family member or a close friend that your trust. Also, join forums or local community support groups for other individuals breaking away from toxic relationships. It can be a one-on-one meeting with a coach, an online discussion forum, listening to a podcast, or watching YouTube videos. These resources help you understand your personality and how to heal from a toxic relationship.
#5: Establish Healthy Boundaries
Now, a codependent person finds it convenient to be in relationships where they need to fix or look after their partners. Due to this tendency, such a person struggles to set healthy boundaries. Typical signs of unhealthy boundaries include:
- Feeling overly responsible for other people’s feelings
- Fear of failure or letting other people down
- Oversharing your past experiences and using them to manipulate others
- A burst of anger when you do not get the help you want
You can set healthy boundaries by:
- Knowing what triggers you to break your boundaries
- Differentiating support and codependency
- Holding yourself responsible for your feelings only
- Practice saying “NO”
- Acknowledging and dealing with your guilty feelings
- Seeking help
Conclusion
We all have the carnal drive to connect to other people. However, these connections can turn into codependency when one of the parties relies on the other emotionally. So, can the codependent relationship be saved? If you suspect you are in a codependent relationship, take time to reflect on the possible triggers.
Then, seek ways to fix turn this relationship into a healthy one. It may need you to step back, assess and rediscover who you were before this connection. That way, you can establish healthy boundaries and have a support system that helps you heal one day at a time.
Relationships
Codependent Narcissist: Are You In a Relationship With One?
Published
9 months agoon
October 4, 2021What comes to mind when you think of a narcissist? A selfish person who uses their victim for self-gain, right? In contrast, we see a codependent person as excessively selfless and an easy victim to a narcissist. Yet, both the narcissist and the codependent person have unhealthy views of themselves. See, they share similar needs but portray them through opposite behaviors. In a nutshell, a narcissist can be codependent.
Codependency vs. Narcissism
Three aspects make it possible for a narcissist to be codependent. These three factors facilitate the bond between a codependent person and a narcissist. They are: –
#1: A History of Trauma and Abuse
Many narcissists come from a childhood background characterized by neglect, parents who are inconsistent or abusive. This unhealed trauma results in unresolved shadow emotions. It sets up the narcissist to display codependent traits towards those around them. The same applies to codependent persons recovering from abusive relationships or upbringing.
#2: Undefined View of Self
Both a narcissist and a codependent person struggle with their identities. In turn, they rely on those around them to dictate who they are. For example, a narcissist values what their victim says about their strengths. However, a codependent person pegs their self-worth on the current mood of their narcissistic partner.
#3: Extreme Focus on Others vs. Self
Narcissists are self-centered. They hardly show empathy to those in need. More so, they only display concern for others if it will benefit them in some way. For example, a narcissist will help their victim to get the recognition that inflates their self-esteem.
A codependent person focuses on others to the point of trying to control the other person’s behavior. This individual is always looking for opportunities to serve others. In turn, they peg their identity on how this other person responds to them.
How Do Narcissists Become Codependent?
Note that codependency is a pattern that makes a person prone to getting stuck in a narcissistic relationship. Yet, a narcissist relies more on their victims for their narcissistic supply and validation. Hence, there are instances when the narcissist looks to their partner for reassurance, displaying their codependency tendencies.
How Does a Relationship with a Codependent Narcissist Look Like?
A narcissist can be in a relationship with a codependent person if the two depend on each other to feed needs that sustain their harmful behaviors. Here, a narcissist exploits the codependent person in achieving their selfish goals. And, the codependent person is over-dependent on the narcissist to make decisions for them. This interaction reinforces their negative traits like alcohol and drug addiction, domestic violence, or self-harm.
Trauma Bonding with a Codependent Narcissist
A relationship with a codependent narcissist has trauma bonding as its underlying foundation. It features typical behaviors like dismissiveness, invalidation, and thoughts of worthlessness. For example, someone who is struggling with negative beliefs about themselves becomes prone to trauma bonding.
As a result, they get confused when in a narcissistic relationship. In the process, they feel that they need to be more than enough to keep their narcissistic partners happy. Next, they get stuck even though the narcissist needs them more than they need the narcissist.
Coping Mechanisms
Do you identify your codependent person? And, are you currently in a relationship with a narcissist? If so, you need to make lifestyle changes that free you from the cycle of this toxic relationship. This association with a codependent narcissist makes you derive your sense of self and identity from your partner’s ups and downs.
Here are some healthy habits you can develop: –
#1: Speak up
Often, we can tell when we are in a toxic relationship. If you suspect abuse, talk to a friend or other family members. Let them give you their opinion about your current situation.
#2: Learn all you can about a codependent narcissist
This knowledge helps you appreciate how they think and view you.
#3: Channel your emotions appropriately
Indeed, there are days when you wake up feeling sad, angry, or disgusted. When these emotions overwhelm you, avoid looking up to the narcissist for validation. Instead, exercise or engage in a hobby to release this surge of negative emotions.
#3: Invest in self-care routines
These are healthy habits that shift your focus from the narcissist. They help you appreciate your strengths and accept your weaknesses.
#4: Go for psychotherapy
More so, if your relationship is draining your mental and physical health. Get professional guidance to help you overcome addictions, emotional and physical abuse in your current relationship.
#5: Set healthy boundaries
By having clear boundaries on what you accept or refuse, you limit narcissistic abuse.
#6: Know when to call it quits
If your relationship includes instances of name-calling, yelling, false accusations, public humiliation, and threats, you could be in physical danger. Here, reach out to your local shelters or service providers for temporary refuge from the immediate risk. Then, engage a counselor, family member, or the local authorities to end the relationship peacefully.
What Happens When You End a Relationship With a Codependent Narcissist?
A codependent narcissist gets stuck in a toxic relationship for a long time. Still, should their victims end the relationship; this narcissist will look for someone else to replace them right away.
See, a codependent narcissist often has a past or current history of addiction. This person gets enraged and needy towards their partners on any given day. Their anger feelings come about since they need their partners for their narcissistic supply. And they feel needy because they are scared that their partner can leave them. Hence, when the relationship ends, the codependent narcissist struggles to stay alone.
Conclusion
A codependent narcissist is always in a toxic relationship with those around them. And a codependent person is an easy target to a narcissist. Both persons find it almost impossible to end the relationship. So, if you suspect that you are relating to a codependent narcissist, take time to understand their behavior. And since a narcissistic abuse recovery takes time, practice self-care and reach out for professional help to facilitate your recovery journey. That way, you will be more prepared to deal with them or manage the daily narcissistic situations for better living.
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