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Radical Self-Care: The Essential Step On Your Self-Healing Journey

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Radical self-care is about focusing on yourself before worrying about other people. We are often told, “you cannot pour from an empty cup” How about half a cup? With radical self-care, your cup needs to overflow before you start pouring it into other people’s cups.

With typical self-care, you can get all the pampering you want while still conforming to the pressure of caring for others. However, radical self-care is about prioritizing your mental well-being before anything or anyone else. There are a lot of conceptualized self-care practices you will have to unlearn if you are to get into radical self-care.

Radical self-care is here to stay. Looking at what the world today has become, the sooner you embrace it, the easier it will become for you to deal with stress facing you from all the spheres of life.

6 Ways to Practice Radical Self-Care

The definition of self-care has always been reduced to something like taking a bubble bath. This is still a great way to relax and be in your zone. But what next after the bubble bath? In the stressful world, we live in, where life feels like grinding 24/7, you have to go beyond bubble baths, pedicures, and manicures.

 Here are great radical self-care tips to keep your mental well-being at its optimum.

#1: Be kind and gentle to yourself

self-love and self-care image

We are faced with daily harshness in life. Sometimes, things get tough, and the only option feels like giving up. An excellent way out is to always speak positive things to yourself. Encourage yourself through daily affirmations.  

For example, if your boss constantly puts you down, daily affirmations can significantly boost your day. Stand before a mirror every day and compliment yourself. Write on sticky notes and hang them in places you will see daily. Do not beat yourself too much, especially for things you cannot control.

#2: Practice mindfulness

Take time and be in the present. Let go of the multi-tasking that we seemingly have to do in the current day. Switch off your devices and stay in a quiet place and focus on the moment. Let go of the regrets and worries of the future.

You can achieve mindfulness through meditation or breathing exercises. Mindfulness is great for your mental health, relationships, and even your attitude towards life.

#3: Stay away from social media for some time

The happiness social media gives us is short-lived. People spend hours and hours scrolling down Instagram only to end up unhappy. With everyone making significant strides on social media, it becomes difficult not to compare ourselves to them.

Another great self–care tactic is to have enough restful sleep. How often have you been on social media until late into the night? It can be difficult to disconnect from social media, but your mental wellbeing will appreciate you right back at the end of the day.

Being away from social media will help you:

  • Eliminate the fear of missing out;
  • Sleep longer and better;
  • Curb the pressure that comes after comparing ourselves to others.

For more, read our article Social Media Detox: Effective Tips & Amazing Benefits For Your Mental Health.

#4: Take a sabbatical

mental health tips image

Take a long break from your studies or work and focus on yourself. We bumped into a group of mental health enthusiasts who went to Costa Rica for their sabbatical leave. In Costa Rica, they spend all their time in nature and even eat fresh farm produce. Their time out was crowned with the fresh air and serenity of the place.

No, you do not have to go to Costa Rica. But taking a leave and relaxing while focusing on your mental wellness will do things you thought you would never achieve. In your sabbatical, you can choose to follow your passion, travel, or focus on one thing at a time, for instance, your children or talent.

#5: Get quality sleep

We have heard so many people glorifying how little they sleep. It is unfortunate, especially now that this is becoming a norm. Not getting enough sleep is gradually killing you both mentally and physically. If you do not get enough restful sleep, your body will sooner or later force you to take the needed rest.

Not sleeping enough also results in a lot of mental and physical health problems. If you genuinely care about yourself, you will sleep enough to keep health issues at bay. Good quality sleep is also a mood lifter. Keep away all sleep distractions and ensure you sleep at least 8 hours every night.

#6: Let go of all the guilt

In your radical self-care journey, you will experience feelings of guilt. If you have been working or saving money so hard, you will feel you do not deserve all the good things. It is just how people have been conditioned. You deserve a soft and peaceful life for yourself. Go for options that will make your life simpler and worth living.

Do not ignore signs of depression and stress, do all it takes to remove stressors from your life. Start by noting where you learned to put people’s emotions before yourself. Also, note down instances where you prioritize other people at the expense of yourself. Gradually let go of the behavior and ensure you are always on top of your priority list.

The Bottom Line

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The goal of radical self-care is to fully replenish you before turning to other people. The good thing about this is that while you replenish yourself, you are not depleting anybody’s resources. You, therefore, can go on and on with your radical self-care without affecting anyone around you.

This practice is good for truly replenishing your soul, body, and mind. With radical self-care, you protect your overall well-being. The good thing is that the effects are long-lasting and will always reflect your daily mental health and happiness.

Your mental health matters the most, and not just on special days when you decide to treat yourself well. Go strong on radical self-care and ensure your mental well-being is always at its optimal.

Healing

10 High Vibrational Crystals For Raising Your Energy to a Whole New Level

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Each crystal carries its unique energy and vibration. However, there are some crystals that vibrate at higher frequencies than others. These crystals are called high vibrational crystals. These crystals are equally great for balancing your chakras, spiritual healing, and even your physical health.

This article looks at some of the common high vibrational crystals and how transformative they can be.

Top 10 High Vibrational Crystals

#1: Rose Quartz

rose quartz gemstone

Rose quartz is a strong activator of the heart, which is responsible for love. In Chakra terms, we would say it is responsible for the fourth chakra, which entails love, intimate emotions, and feelings. The rose quartz brings positive feelings to any love relationship.

Additionally, rose quartz can help you overcome sadness, anger, and shame. All these negative feelings make your heart heavy. Rose quartz can help free you from these feelings. If you want to enhance self-love, platonic, romantic and even love for others, the energy of rose quartz will do the magic.

#2: Lapis Lazuli Crystals

lapis lazuli image

Lapis Lazuli is great for improving your thinking and psychic abilities. In addition, it helps promote your ability to speak your truth with grace. Simply put, it can give you the confidence for public speaking. This is an excellent combination for people struggling with speech. 

First, it will improve your cognitive process and how you articulate the words. It will also clear your mind from thoughts that hold you back. Holding a Lapis Lazuli stone in your left hand while practicing or giving a speech could easily make people recognize you as a great public speaker.

#3: Clear Quartz

Clear Quartz for Crown Chakra Healing image

This is a master of all high vibrational crystals. You can use it to achieve any spiritual healing you are after. Interestingly, you can use it to boost the powers of the other crystals.

However, it also has particular properties, such as clearing your mind or brain. If you have many things stressing you up, the healing power of clear quartz can do the cleansing job for you. It will help you get rid of all the trauma residue holding you back. Similarly, if you cannot seem to let go of the burden in your life, clear quartz can help you out. 

They are also suitable for meditation and manifestation, making wishes come true.

#4: Black Obsidian

black obsidian Image

If you want to absorb negative energy from your surroundings, a black obsidian crystal will do a great job. This rock has the power to cleanse you and your environment from any hostile powers and energy. The psychic prowess of this crystal will shield your house from any evil or negative energy. 

Also, if you are searching for a way to connect more to the planet or are after inner peace, Black Obsidian will help you do that. Have a black obsidian rock under your pillow when you go to bed. This will help you decompress and feel more grounded.

If you would like it to absorb negative energy from your surroundings, hold it in your palm and let it stay there for some time.

#5: Malachite

Malachite Image

This is your go-to stone if you are looking for ways to connect to the planet. Also, if your goal is to balance your Heart Chakra (Anahata), consider getting Malachite for your meditation sessions. Malachite is instrumental in eliminating anger, sadness, residual emotions, and shame accumulated over the years. If you have negative feelings that keep holding you back from going after a better life, Malachite can help you let go.

Think of it as a tool that can help eliminate past trauma and burden residues. You will also love that it boosts your urge to spend time in nature. This, on its own, is already a winning factor for your overall mental and physical well-being.

#6: Amethyst 

amethyst image

This powerful crystal has for a long time been used for magical rituals. It is instrumental in Crown chakra balancing. This makes it perfect for people seeking to connect to their Divine Sources. Using it showers you with spiritual wisdom and deeper inner peace and serenity.

If you need spiritual healing, the spiritual intelligence you will get from amethyst will serve you right.

#7: Citrine

Citrine image

This rock is perfect for attracting financial abundance. Citrine is also excellent for Sacral Chakra healing. Sacral Chakra hosts sexual energy. If you want to multiply your income, gain financial independence, or boost your sexual energy and creativity, it is all in the citrine. 

If you use it, you will learn to:

  • Embrace changes that will soon turn into money moves;
  • Make things happen in business;
  • Succeed in the corporate world;
  • Take leadership roles gracefully;
  • Boost your creativity in money multiplication or wealth making.

#8: Selenite

Selenite Sahasrara Healing Crystal image

Selenite is recognized as one of the most powerful high vibrational crystals, thanks to its high frequency. It is an excellent way-opener. If you are caught in a rut that is not coming to an end, feeling stuck or blocked, selenite can help eliminate residual energies blocking your way.

Also, if you want to go a step higher in your manifestation, selenite’s high operational energy will get you there. For instance, if you have been manifesting something for a long time, selenite will be a great friend in that journey.

#9: Kyanite

high vibrational crystals Kyanite image

This crystal has a calm and dreamy color. This is why it is also called the dreamy crystal. It helps us tap into our Third eye chakra. Kyanite comes with strong healing properties. 

It also gives you:

  • Prophetic dreams, revelations, and visions just as a third perspective to things happening in your life;
  • The power to get into a meditative state quickly;
  • More success with your meditation. 

#10: Smoky Quartz

high vibrational crystals Smoky Quartz image

This crystal is best for those seeking improved psychic protection. With it, you can achieve grounding and guidance in the spiritual world. This is why it has been used in mystic rituals. 

Also, this crystal is for you if you want to boost your psychic prowess. It will help take your telepathy and intuition to a whole new level.

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Emotional Exhaustion: The Tell-Tale Signs & How to Deal With It

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Are you in a state where you have no more energy to do the things you love? For instance, you loved taking your dog for a walk. You always looked forward to it. But now, you do not have the mental capacity to do it. If you dread the things you once enjoyed, you could be having emotional exhaustion.

What Is Emotional Exhaustion?

When you feel mentally drained or worn out due to accumulated stress in your life, it could be said you are facing emotional exhaustion. You feel like you cannot take it anymore in this state, but you still have to keep pushing.

Sometimes, people think it is just a simple state of being in a rut. However, dismissing emotional exhaustion can be dangerous as it will develop into serious mental and sometimes physical illnesses.

Let’s dive deeper into emotional exhaustion.

Signs and Symptoms

First, you must understand that the signs can be either physical, mental, or both. Below are the common signs and symptoms to watch out for:

  • Problems falling asleep
  • Lack of motivation, especially in doing things you enjoyed before
  • Hopelessness
  • Headaches
  • Lack of concentration or absentmindedness
  • Appetite change
  • Lack of enthusiasm even for the little things around you
  • Irrational anger
  • Increased pessimism.

What Causes Emotional Exhaustion?

emotionally exhausted image

Before trying to cure emotional exhaustion, you sure want to know what caused it. First, you have to lessen or eliminate the stressor to get a better solution. If you get on a healing journey without understanding the cause of your emotional exhaustion, you will sooner or later get back to square one.

For starters, emotional exhaustion is caused by extended periods of stress. These can be work, personal, or family stress. It’s, however, different from the daily yet short-lived stress you experience.

Remember that stress triggers vary from one person to another. This is why what causes emotional exhaustion to you will not be similar to the next person.

Here are some common causes of emotional exhaustion:

  • Dealing with uncertainty
  • Going through big changes in life
  • Highly involving careers such as nurses, doctors, teachers, and armies
  • Long work hours or working at a job you do not love
  • Having a baby and not having a helping hand or generally raising children
  • Intense schooling, such as law and medical schooling
  • Being a caregiver for a senior or terminal loved one
  • Death of a loved one
  • Prolonged and stressful divorce proceedings
  • Financial problems, etc.

How to Treat Emotional Exhaustion?

Of course, going to therapy is an excellent way to start. However, outside therapy, there is more you can do to get your emotional balance back on track. So, what are some of the most effective ways to treat emotional exhaustion?

#1: Manage the stressor

Eliminating the stressor is not always as straightforward as it may seem. For instance, if your source of stress is the death of a loved one, you cannot just eliminate the grief. You have to work your way around it. With such, you can attend grief management classes and therapy.

However, if your job is stressful, you can consider changing to something lenient. If raising kids is stressing you out, consider getting a helping hand. Find a lenient way to lessen the intensity of the stressor in your life. If you cannot figure a way out, take it slow as you talk to your therapist.

#2: Take a break

We are often told that we should quit if a job stresses us. But that is not always an option for everyone, unfortunately. That is what our modern life has turned into. This might be a job you like, or maybe you’re trying to manage your financial crisis; you cannot quit. A good way out is to take a break.

Just relax or go on a vacation. While on a break, be sure to make it restful yet meaningful. People go on vacations and are caught up trying to adhere to a tight itinerary. Eventually, you discover that you did not relax by the end of such a vacation.

Plan a relaxing and meaningful vacation if you do not want to end up even more exhausted during your break. A good option is going on a retreat rather than visiting touristy sites.

#3: Practice mindfulness

mindfulness practice image

Mindfulness has been proven to be a stress and anxiety reliever. When stressed, your mind keeps wandering off to the past and future. You keep having a lot of regrets and what-ifs, which end up stressing you even more.

Practicing mindfulness allows you to focus on the present. This is a sure way of redirecting your attention to what matters. Mindfulness also helps you manage your emotions better.

 Take a break daily and sit silent or take nature walks. While at it, let go and focus on the present.

#4: Yoga

With yoga, you enjoy both physical and mental benefits. Remember that emotional exhaustion comes with physical fatigue too. Yoga stretches and poses can help you fight this. Also, such physical exercises boost serotonin and endorphin levels in the body. These hormones are great for boosting your emotional state.

Besides, yoga focuses on deep breathing. This means that you take in more air which helps calm your nerves and reduce anxiety and stress. Furthermore, yoga comes with deep meditation and spiritual connection. This can help you reconnect with your Higher self and feel divine support in your life.

#5: Get Enough Sleep

One of the signs of emotional exhaustion is the inability to get enough sleep. It, therefore, may seem ironic that one of the cures to this is getting enough sleep. How will you get enough sleep if you can barely fall asleep? Start by limiting things that affect your sleep quality.

Here are tips to help you fall asleep faster:

  • Keep off your mobile phone at least 2 hours before bedtime; the blue light makes you more active and, therefore, less sleepy
  • Lower your bedroom’s temperature
  • Take a warm shower shortly before bedtime
  • Listen to relaxing music
  • Exercise during the day
  • Use aromatherapy. Lavender and peppermint have shown positive effects on sleep quality

Aim at sleeping for 8-9 hours. However, it is not just about the quantity but also the quality of sleep. Deep sleep helps your body rest and rejuvenate, a critical aspect of fighting emotional exhaustion.

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Healing

Fawn Trauma Response: Unlearn the People-Pleasing Behavior 

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Fawning is about being big on pleasing people and engaging in pacifying behaviors. In fawn trauma response, the victim prioritizes appeasing people and receiving approval. We know it feels great to be liked by the people around you. But it is utterly useless if you are losing yourself while at it. And this is what fawning is all about; people abandon themselves to get the validation of the people around them. 

Fawning often happens when you don’t feel seen. This way, you will go to any lengths to get noticed and validated while leaving behind your emotions, thoughts, and body sensations. 

What is Fawn Trauma Response? 

You must have heard of fright, flight, or freeze responses to trauma. These are the most talked about, and they happen when you are faced with potential physical danger. However, a less known response to trauma is the fawn trauma response. 

If you find yourself overly concerned with the needs of others while forgetting your own, then you are fawning. 

According to Pete Walker, a marriage family therapist, a fawn trauma response is all about being more appealing to the threat. And one easy way to know you are fawning is when you have a problem saying “no.” This happens when you lack firm boundaries in your relationships or cannot create them. 

Why Do People Fawn?

people pleaser definition Image

People fawn to avoid disapproval, criticism, judgment, and rebuke. Think of this situation; you offered to babysit a friend’s child on some weekends. However, one weekend, you have tickets to your favorite musician’s concert, and you had already made it a routine to help babysit on Sundays. 

Now you are stranded and afraid to turn down your friend. So you must cancel your trip to the concert because of what your friend will think or say of you. Yes, they can babysit their child this one Sunday, but you feel like you have to do the duty to avoid disapproval or appear to be friendly and caring. 

And this is all about pleasing your friend and being afraid of breaking your relationship; or being seen as the not helpful friend. It is not about you wanting to help genuinely. This exemplifies how you can forfeit your needs, thoughts, boundaries, and preferences. 

Research shows that a fawn trauma response often develops after a child grows up in a shame-based environment and has to take up parent roles. Fawning doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be simple as not mentioning your favorite restaurant when a group of friends selects where to dine. To avoid disapproval, you are better off always dining in their favorite restaurant. 

Note: Do not confuse fawning for compassion, kindness, or selflessness. These acts are not at your cost. However, if you fawn, the action affects you negatively, but you keep doing it anyway. 

What Type of Trauma Causes Fawn Response?

A single event such as an accident does not cause fawning. Repeat events such as childhood trauma and complex trauma, especially where the child had to keep appeasing the abuser, result in fawning. Fawning is often associated with relational trauma or trauma that developed in a relationship context. 

Signs of Fawning

Below are both common and uncommon signs of fawning:

  • Denying your pain, trauma, discomfort, complaints, and needs, 
  • Constantly flying under the radar, 
  • Changing your thoughts or preferences to align with others, 
  • Taking responsibility for the emotional reactions of others, 
  • Over-apologizing, or even apologizing when you have not made any mistake, 
  • Depression linked to trauma, 
  • Finding challenges with authentic self-expression.      

How to Deal with Fawn Trauma Response?

Healing from Childhood Trauma Image

Breaking the fawning habit can be difficult because it is often linked to childhood experiences and relationships. Here are some ways to unlearn the pattern. 

#1: Set Firm Boundaries

It is essential to keep a distinct line between your feelings and other people’s feelings. Start by recognizing that your feelings belong to you and nobody else. And, even more importantly, it is not your job to carry the burden of other people’s feelings. Be in a relationship where you can say “no” when your boundaries are overstepped. 

#2: Be More Gentle with Yourself and Validate Yourself

If you notice that you fawn a lot, it is time to be more compassionate to yourself. Observe yourself when around others and try to be kind to yourself. When you notice that you are fawning, do not scold yourself. Just nudge yourself gently and promise yourself to do better the next time. 

Validate your feelings and emotions even when people around you are bringing you down. Practice affirmations such as:

  • I am valid even if my critics do not see my strengths!
  • I am doing better than I did yesterday!

Learn to sit with the anger and disappointment of others because it will happen when you stop fawning. 

#3: Go to Therapy

As we have stated, fawning often develops due to childhood trauma. The best way to deal with childhood trauma is to talk to a professional therapist. Attending therapy may help you be more aware of your behaviors. The awareness that comes with therapy may help you manage the following questions well:

  • Is what I am doing aligning with my values?
  • Am I doing or saying this to appease someone else? And are my actions at my own expense? 
  • Am I being true to myself, or am I doing this entirely for the other person’s benefit?

Remind yourself to stick to your actual values if you notice you are big on fawning. Step by step, you will get there. 

#4: Put Yourself First

Wait until you are asked for help to give help. Sometimes, people want to speak about their problems. They are not looking for solutions. However, in your fawn habit, you may find yourself offering to help in ways that may be beyond your means. Do not offer help until you are asked. 

And even more importantly, do not offer help if you do not mean it or if it will overstretch you. In putting yourself first, let your opinion be heard. Do not constantly change your opinion to align with others.

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