Healing
The Art of Deep Listening: A Healing Practice for Suffering Souls
Published
12 months agoon
Are you battling anxiety or depression? Does waking up each day feel like a struggle? If so, you could be having undigested emotions weighing you down. Huh? See, trauma, abuse, or a sudden illness can make us have unpleasant emotions leading to soul loss. Unless you start your healing process, these emotions remain hidden in your subconscious, causing havoc to your life for years to come. Indeed, we can never wish away our unpleasant feelings. But we can deal with them through the art of deep listening.
What Is Deep Listening?
Deep listening is a form of mindful meditation whereby you become fully present to your inner self or those around you. Simply put, it is a spiritual practice of listening to connect. Here, you engage in quiet moments that help you awaken your buried emotions.
Similarly, you nurture a connection with anyone talking to you at that moment, sharing your goals, dreams, fears, and concerns. Hence, it entails listening to yourself or others to form a connection.
Active Listening vs. Deep Listening
Active listening refers to you choosing to be fully present in a conversation. It forms the basis of deep listening because you focus on what the other person is saying as you become an active listener. Deep listeners go a step further to connect to those non-verbal communications from the other person. More so, deep listening includes listening to our emotions to connect to them.
Why Do We Need to Practice Deep Listening?
Listening with intention helps you understand your surrounding and the people closest to you. In turn, you learn how to best respond to your emotions and those of others. This understanding is necessary when undertaking your soul loss healing process. Below are more benefits of deep listening:
#1: Develop Resistance Against Surrounding Distractions
We live in a digital age where smartphones, computers, and other smart gadgets distract us all day. These technologies make it almost impossible to maintain eye contact when talking to someone else. Likewise, they eat into our self-care time, robbing us of a chance to connect to our inner feelings. Deep listening encourages us to maintain undivided attention to our inner self or those near us.
#2: Resist the Temptation to Respond Without Deep Thought
One of the barriers to effective communication is selective listening. Here, we choose what we want to hear, then formulate responses that we think are suitable. A biased listener is always quick to offer solutions without taking into account the other person’s feelings. Likewise, if we never take time to listen to our inner self, we may judge ourselves based on the stigma surrounding our conditions.
#3: Facilitates Soul Loss Healing Process
Have you been diagnosed with a mental illness? Do you feel like you are going crazy because that is what society brands you? If so, you may find yourself hiding away from friends and family, fearing being caught off guard by their out-of-control emotions.
However, did you know that a bit of deep listening practice can unearth the unresolved emotions behind mental illness?
A person who understands the root cause of their mental conditions can practice self-care and have self-compassion for healthy living because shadow emotions are never permanent. Mindful meditation allows you to change your emotional triggers, hence, facilitate the soul loss healing process.
Deep Listening Must Be Intentional
Now, anyone can practice deep listening at any time or place. However, did you know that not everyone can listen without bias or aiming to be a problem solver? Yes, deep listening is not easy. It takes time and practice to develop the skills.
The Techniques
Now that we have an idea of what deep listening is all about, here are some top deep listening techniques you can start practicing today:
#1: Heart-Gut Centering
Are you making a life-changing decision? Find a quiet place at home or outdoors. Set up your mat or pillows to sit comfortably. Place one hand on your stomach and the other against your chest. Concentrate on listening to your inner voice. What do you hear?
The head, heart, and gut are the centers of our decision-making. The head is our rational brain, the heart is the emotional brain, and the gut is the intuitive brain. There are lots of instances where we follow our gut feelings or heart feelings. These are the times where logical thinking using our brain may not be adequate in assessing emotions.
Listening to your heart and gut allows you to be a rational thinker who weighs your feelings and emotions. In turn, you avoid cognitive dissonance, a state of inner conflict that can lead to anxiety and depression.
#2: Listening to the Surrounding Voices
When was the last time you were still and listened to voices all around you? It may be the whistling trees in your backyard, a shaky door, a ticking clock, or the sound of your breathing. Whatever you get to hear, allowing yourself to connect to your surrounding gets you into a mindful state. This awareness state refreshes your mind, expands your thought process, and renews your wisdom and intelligence.
#3: Journal Your Thoughts
Are you feeling lonely, depressed, or in a crisis? Put what you are feeling in writing. Conscious writing is an excellent way to practice deep listening. You use pen and paper as an avenue for your creative energy and ideas to flow. Doing so gives you mental clarity, regaining a sense of sanity when overwhelmed with emotions.
Here are some tips to get you started:
- Use a pen and paper instead of your smartphone or notebook. Journaling your thought this way is real and tangible.
- Write it as it is, immediately the thought pops in your head. Do not overthink.
- Maintain a dream journal. Capture what you remember from your dreams, then reflect on it.
- Grammatical errors are allowed. What matters is getting your thoughts on paper.
- Read aloud what you have written. It will give you a chance to hear your thoughts and voice your unspoken pain and trauma.
Conclusion
Deep listening is necessary if you want to develop mindful thinking and grow your emotional intelligence. These two aspects ensure you stay in tune with your inner self and be more susceptible to non-verbal communications from others. That way, you live in the present, embrace your uniqueness, and cut yourself some slack, especially when undergoing a challenging emotional experience.
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Healing
What Is Transgenerational Trauma? The Signs & Solutions
Published
1 week agoon
June 22, 2022What is that one thing you can think of passed down to you or your parents from your ancestors? It could be stories, heirlooms, or genetic traits. Recent studies suggest that even trauma can pass down through the generations. If you have someone in your family history that bears the scars of past trauma like racism, slavery, sex trafficking, or being a survivor of the holocaust, such an experience gets transmitted from one generation to the next.
What is Transgenerational Trauma?
Transgenerational trauma is the physical and psychological effects of trauma from past generations affecting subsequent generations. This trauma transfers from the first generation of the survivors to the second and further generations of their offspring via a complex post-traumatic stress disorder mechanism. Hence, most victims of transgenerational trauma have no direct experience of the original trauma.
How Transgenerational Trauma Manifests in Families
Transgenerational trauma may manifest itself socially, biologically, emotionally, or mentally as follows: –
- Hyper-vigilance because you may have a distrust of the world
- Isolation, emotional numbing, and depersonalization
- Impaired parental function, which shows up as overprotectiveness or unclear boundaries
- Chronic sorrow and separation anxiety
- Poor communication skills
- Chronic fear of danger
- Pressure for educational or career achievements
- Unresolved or complicated grief triggering anger and self-destructive behaviors
In addition, teens and school-going children undergoing transgenerational trauma may experience low self-esteem, have disciplinary issues at school, drop out or cut classes, and record poor grades.
Families struggling with transgenerational trauma tend to: –
- Dismiss any talk of feelings as a weakness
- Become overprotective of their children and seniors
- Develop a neutral emotional response to tragic events
- Have trust issues and engage in unnecessary conflicts with other families
What Does Science Say?
Most scientific studies on transgenerational trauma agree that any extreme and prolonged stress on a parent could have adverse psychological effects on their children or grandchildren. The parents may be former prisoners of war, combat veterans, victims of colonial suppression, clerical abuse in religious organizations, totalitarian political control, and terrorism.
Here are four examples of communities affected by transgenerational trauma: –
#1: Holocaust Survivors
Canadian psychiatrist Dr. Vivian Rakoff was the first person to identify and document transgenerational trauma. In 1966, Vivian and her colleagues were researchers at the Jewish General Hospital in Montreal. Here, they studied the long-lasting consequences of the holocaust on its survivors and descendants.
They recorded high psychological distress rates amongst the children of the holocaust survivors. Later studies would discover that even grandchildren of holocaust survivors ended up in psychiatric care referrals, with trauma symptoms like PTSD, depression, and clinical anxiety.
#2: The Stolen Generation of the Aboriginal People
Thousands of lighter-skin-toned aboriginal children grew up without knowing their families. The kids were forcefully taken from their families and placed in orphanages run by missionaries. Some of the kids were barely a year old. They spent most of their childhood working while undergoing physical and emotional mistreatment.
Many described it as Australia’s attempt at genocide and the ultimate survival of the indigenous people. Today, the children of the stolen generation of the aboriginal people still carry the scars of transgenerational trauma. Some live in distress and struggle with attachment and disconnection from extended families.
#3: Rwanda Genocide Survivors
The Rwanda Civil War between April 7th and July 15th, 1994, claimed the lives of up to 800,000 Tutsis, a minority ethnic group. Studies of the Rwanda post-genocide generation indicate that children born to Tutsi mothers during and immediately after the genocide developed depression and traumatic disorders. The lasting imprints of the 1994 genocide are evident in the survivors, former prisoners, and their descendants.
#4: Systematic Racism and Over-policing of the Black Communities
During the Trans-Atlantic slave trade, Europeans built the foundations of America by dehumanizing Africans. They used mental, spiritual, and physical warfare to integrate white supremacy into the violence. And they skewed psychology, religion, and science to justify this treatment.
For example, in 1851, American physician Samuel A. Cartwright came up with Drapetomania. It refers to a supposed mental illness describing enslaved Africans that tried to run away. Eventually, black communities developed trauma responses to maintain survival.
However, instead of short-term responses, the families have integrated them into their culture and passed them from one generation to the next under the guise of values and traditions.
Today, there are cries of systematic racism and over-policing amongst the black communities. And more families are struggling with divorce, alcohol and substance abuse, child abuse, and domestic violence. And there’s a high incarceration rate in the black communities.
Addressing Transgenerational Trauma
Note that later victims of transgenerational trauma may fail to recognize its effects. Others never acknowledge, discuss, or address it for fear of stigmatization. That way, they may never call it out or seek help. Instead, they struggle with mental health issues and continue passing down the trauma to their offspring.
Anyone undergoing transgenerational trauma should seek help to break the cycle. Otherwise, parents will continue to pass triggers to their children, affecting future generations.
#1: Community Healing and Reconciliation
Most families undergoing transgenerational trauma stay quiet about the traumatic events for fear of stigmatization. Start by having productive discussions with family members for healing and reconciliation. In the aftermath of the Rwanda Civil War, most survivors rebuilt their lives by joining survivor support groups, creating and preserving memorial sites, and educating the next generation on the dangers of hate and extremism.
#2: Seeking Help from a Family Therapist
Families undergoing generational trauma should work with a family therapist to identify the trauma patterns existing in the family. Likewise, children struggling with mental health problems associated with this trauma should also work with a mental health specialist for recovery.
#3: Changing Parenting Styles
Often, parents who are victims or survivors of trauma have a protective parenting style that passes the trauma to their children. Here, the parents subconsciously teach their children unhealthy survival behaviors. Or, they may develop unhealthy relationship boundaries with their loved ones. This should change to avoid passing on the damage further.
Conclusion
Is your family dealing with trauma from your ancestors? Studies now show that parental traumatic experiences can reach subsequent generations. Yet, we can break the cycle of transgenerational trauma by investigating how these events of our shared past affect us today. More so, seeking professional help, changing parenting styles, and encouraging communication around healing and reconciliation can help families deal with the complex issues from the trauma.
Different cultures identify seven energy centers of the body, often referred to as chakras. They pinpoint ways to balance or align our chakras for complete energetic harmony of the body, mind, and spirit. For example, you can connect chakras to astrology, crystals, plants, and even colors of the rainbow. Then, what happens when a chakra is off-balance, overactive, or blocked? How can you restore balance to your chakras? Let’s explore the chakras one by one below:
#1: The Root Chakra
The Root chakra, located in the pelvis area, is associated with our sense of belonging, grounding, and survival needs. When balanced, we feel safe, secure, grounded, sturdiness, centered, and happy to be alive. A blocked Root chakra gives us a sense of instability (especially financial instability and personal identity), anxiety, and fear. And an overactive Root chakra makes us materialistic, greedy, lust for money and power, and aggressive. Of all the chakras, the Root chakra requires the most work to bring it back in balance. A blocked Root chakra triggers an imbalance in the rest of the chakras as a survival driver.
#2: The Sacral Chakra
This chakra is associated with our sexuality, pleasure, and passion. Balanced Sacral chakra exudes joy, amusement, sexuality, sensuality, attachment, optimism, nurturing, procreation, and deep emotions. Yet, low libido, an unsatisfactory sex life, fear or lack of intimacy, loneliness, and isolation suggests a blocked Sacral chakra. An overactive sacral chakra may result in our sexual overdrive. Here, someone becomes a sex addict, manipulative, and overly emotional.
#3: The Solar Plexus Chakra
The Solar Plexus Chakra, located underneath the rib cage and above the navel, gives us the drive and confidence that keeps us in control of our lives. Anyone with a balanced Solar Plexus chakra has a raised self-image, self-esteem, willpower, and assertiveness. Only an imbalance in our Solar Plexus chakra creates feelings of self-doubt, powerlessness, feeling threatened, low self-esteem, and having an inferiority complex. However, an overactive Solar Plexus chakra manifests itself through our domineering, perfectionist, power-hungry, critical, or judgmental tendencies.
#4: The Heart Chakra
The Heart chakra, symbolized by the color green, is the chakra of love. When balanced, the Heart chakra sustains our feelings of unconditional love, peace, receptivity, acceptance, compassion, gratitude, and forgiveness. More so, it helps us form and retains meaningful relationships. In contrast, a blocked Heart chakra manifests itself through our bitter or hateful feelings, trust issues, lack of empathy, and intolerant of others. Likewise, an overactive Heart chakra creates feelings of codependence, self-sacrifice, and jealousy.
#5: The Throat Chakra
This chakra concerns communication (our speaking and listening abilities). When balanced, we maintain clear communication, behave like a leader with confidence, and use creative expression around our peers. Except, if you have a blocked Throat chakra, you may have issues expressing yourself and listening to others. Often, you find yourself in heated arguments, misunderstandings, and holding on to grudges or secrets. People with overactive Throat chakra often abuse their communication privileges. They tend to be loud, sassy, opinionated, and gossipy.
#6: The Third Eye Chakra
The Third eye chakra symbolizes our intuition. Its awakening revolves around our ability to manifest psychic abilities, inner wisdom, visualization, and clarity. This opening only happens when the chakra is balanced. The harmony helps us manifest visions beyond the physical realm. We stay in tune with our intuitions and become imaginative and creative.
A blocked Third eye chakra limits our intuition, inner thoughts, creativity, or guidance from spiritual entities. More so, this chakra hardly gets overactive. But when it does, you may have broken the veil into a spiritual realm prematurely through such spiritual work like Kundalini. Hence, you experience vivid hallucinations, nightmares, and delusions.
#7: The Crown Chakra
The Crown chakra is associated with consciousness, bliss, oneness, spirituality, and understanding. As a temple, it connects us to the spirit realm, our higher purpose, or God-consciousness.
A balanced Crown chakra exudes feelings of universal love and a deep spiritual understanding of your higher purpose. In contrast, someone with an overactive Crown chakra struggles with dogmatic, judgmental, or ungrounded ideas. And a blocked Crown chakra leaves you feeling depressed. More so, you may battle brain fog or have learning disabilities.
Unblocking the Chakras
Here are some tips to help you unblock and balance your chakras: –
#1: Affirmations
Chakra affirmations are a great way to balance your chakras. Repeating affirmations direct healing energy to restore balance in your body and your life. When we repeat chakra affirmations, we become capable of rewriting the patterns in our subconscious minds and direct healing vibrations to the chakras.
Affirmations for the Root chakra:
- I am safe!
- I am grounded!
- I am rooted and strong!
Affirmations for the Sacral chakra:
- I am creative!
- I am joyful!
- I embrace and celebrate my sexuality!
Affirmations for the Solar Plexus chakra:
- I am powerful!
- I feel motivated to pursue my purpose!
- I am enough!
Affirmations for the Heart chakra:
- I love myself unconditionally!
- I follow my heart!
- I am open to giving and receiving love!
Affirmations for the Throat chakra:
- I am open and honest in my communication!
- I express myself creatively through speech, writing, and art!
- I am an active listener!
Affirmations for the Third eye chakra:
- I trust my intuition!
- I am constantly expanding my awareness!
- I feel connected to my spiritual truth!
Affirmations for the Crown chakra:
- I am Light!
- I am divinely guided and inspired!
- Everything is working out for my highest good!
#2: Crystals
Crystals send out vibrations that resonate with the seven chakras. That way, they help in unblocking chakras and restoring harmony. Plus, the crystals respond best when they are of a similar color to the out-of-balance chakra.
Use red, black, and brown crystals and stones to heal and balance your Root chakra:
- Red Jasper
- Black Tourmaline
- Smoky Quartz
- Carnelian
- Lava
- Black Onyx
For balancing your Sacral chakra, use orange, peach, and brown crystals and stones:
- Imperial Topaz
- Amber
- Sardonyx
- Fire Opal
- Peach Moonstone
- Orange Calcite
- Peach Selenite
For healing your Solar Plexus chakra, use yellow and golden stones:
- Jasper
- Citrine
- Yellow Topaz
- Golden Tiger’s Eye
- Pineapple Calcite
- Yellow Sapphire
- Golden Quartz
- Pyrite
Use green and pink stones and crystals to heal and balance your Heart chakra:
- Green Aventurine
- Rose Quartz
- Alexandrite
- Emerald
- Amazonite
- Malachite
- Pink Calcite
For balancing and healing your Throat chakra, use light blue, deep blue, and teal crystals and stones:
- Larimar
- Aquamarine
- Angelite
- Blue Topaz
- Turquoise
- Blue Lace Agate
- Aqua Aura Quartz
- Blue Tourmaline
- Aqua Aura Quartz
- Blue Quartz
For Third eye chakra healing and balancing, use indigo and violet stones and crystals:
- Blue Aventurine
- Indigolite
- Lapis Lazuli
- Labradorite
- Azurite
- Blue Apatite
- Sapphire
For balancing your Crown chakra, use purple, golden, white, and clear crystals and stones:
- Clear Quartz
- Amethyst
- Rhinestone
- Clear Calcite
- Selenite
- Spirit Quartz
#3: Essential Oils
Did you know you can use essential oils to balance your chakras? You can regulate the energy flow and facilitate unblocking chakras by massaging essential oils on the areas where your chakras project the most.
Use patchouli, nutmeg, vetiver, bergamot, cedar, and clove essential oils for balancing your Root chakra.
For your Sacral chakra, use neroli, cardamom, ylang-ylang, and sandalwood essential oils.
Apply pine, eucalyptus, vetiver, grapefruit, rosemary, bergamot, and lavender essential oils for healing your Solar Plexus chakra.
Rose, lavender, geranium, and jasmine essential oils will help you harmonize your Heart chakra.
For balancing your Throat chakra, use lemon essential oil, vanilla, coriander seed, lavender, sage, and eucalyptus essential oils.
Sandalwood, rosemary, German chamomile, frankincense, jasmine, peppermint, and sandalwood essential oils are great for your Third eye chakra healing.
Use lime, lavender, neroli, vanilla, frankincense, and lotus essential oils for balancing your Crown chakra.
#4: Bija Mantras
A bija mantra or “seed mantra” is a mantra that consists of one or more sounds or syllables. Bija mantras carry the concentrated energy of the Universe. When we practice bija mantras for chakras we create vibration processes in the ether, which, in turn, control the sources of energy within our chakras.
Bija mantras for chakras include the LAM chant for the Root chakra, VAM chant for the Sacral chakra, RAM chant for the Solar plexus chakra, YAM chant for the Heart chakra, HAM chant for the Throat chakra, and AUM chant for the Third eye and the Crown chakras.
#5: Take Nature Calls
Your chakras correspond to love from Mother Nature. Tap into this universal healing power by spending more time in nature. Think of forest baths, mud baths, or lying down on bare grass during your family picnic.
Conclusion
Now that you know how balanced, imbalanced, blocked, and overactive chakras feel, which of your chakras is out-of-balance? Indeed, by recognizing the signs of blockage or imbalance, you can take active steps to balance your chakras. Practice unblocking chakras through yoga, massaging essential oils, chanting or listening to mantras, staying outdoors, and using healing crystals.
Healing
Meet Your Shadow Archetype: The Dark Side of Your Personality
Published
3 weeks agoon
June 9, 2022Let’s face it. In every story, there is a hero and a villain. In your narration, you are both; the bright and dark aspects orchestrate the melody of your life. It is a melody that many of us opt to listen to on one side only. See, most people opt to focus on their bright aspects and suppress the dark side of their personality. Yet, this dark side often referred to as the shadow, will always be there. Besides, it can look small or big depending on your perspective on life. Are you willing to meet your shadow archetype?
Origin of the Shadow Archetype
Carl Jung, an influential psychologist of the previous century, is one of the few people that tried to bridge the notion of psychology and spirituality. That way, he hoped to discover ways to transcend the human condition. Hence, Jung traveled severally to India and immersed himself in different spiritual practices. His work would constantly evolve to produce a comprehensive analysis of such concepts as the ego, the shadow, the archetypes, and the anima and the animus.
Understanding the Shadow Archetype
The shadow archetype is one of the four main categories of the Jungian archetypes that influence human behavior. As popularized by Mark and Pearson, these are inborn personalities emanating from the collective unconscious. The other categories of the Jungian archetypes include the persona, the self or ego, and the animus.
In particular, the shadow archetype consists of life and sex instincts constantly challenging the ego-personality. It takes intentional moral effort to become conscious of your shadow. It is about recognizing the dark side of your personality as present and real. Only then can we begin to understand ourselves and experience a personal awakening and authenticity.
Carl Jung and Shadow Symbolism
The shadow remained an intriguing topic amongst scholars. Carl Jung refers to it as a moral problem that challenges ego-personality. Further, he uses the symbolism of the shadow to portray this complex idea of the shadow archetype seamlessly and visually. Such visual imagery creates anchors with concepts already familiar to human cognition.
Hence, Jung describes the shadow archetype as dark and elusive, impossible to catch, and alters its size depending on your current life circumstances. It forms darkness and distance from the body, something not many of us are eager to confront. Yet, the shadow becomes invisible when light appears.
The Fear of Embracing Our Shadow Archetype
Now, most of us acknowledge the shadow archetype as an integral part of our existence. However, we remain willfully blind to it, conceal or camouflage it in a painful attempt to protect our self-image. It is an image that fits the narrative that we decide to expose.
Further, social conditioning helps us construct a fallacy that we can keep the substrate of our constructed identity stable. We feel safe by ignoring the unknown aspects of our lives, hoping they will disappear.
Still, how can we feel safe when what we are avoiding can invade our thought process and manifest in our actions without our control? Embracing the shadow archetype is inevitable.
Implications of Denying Our Shadow Self
Note that we are as free as the mind allows. And when the mind creates barriers between individual reality and the rest of the world, illusions and neurosis may take over. Have you ever met someone operating in enforced ignorance? If so, you’ll notice such a person denying their shadow archetype in an attempt to preserve a certain status quo. But eventually, the enforced ignorance fuels the suppressed shadow to grow bigger.
The dark side of their personality becomes more evident via projection in more aspects of their lives. Further, since the person is not even aware of the existence of the shadow, its effect can get out of control since we can only control what we understand.
The Way Forward
#1: Shadow Work
The best way to meet our shadow archetype is by undertaking shadow work. Shadow work is a lifelong process that entails intentional activities to discover the dark side of our personalities. Through it, we deal with our shadow elements like animalistic needs, sexual desires, primitive instincts, traumatic experiences, and even some positive aspects of our character that remain hidden for fear of being ridiculed.
A typical shadow work approach may involve journaling our emotions and dreams to discover triggers of our shadow archetype. It also replaces our sense of guilt and anxiety with self-acceptance.
#2: Seeking Professional Help
While facing the dark side of your personality can be scary, the ultimate results are rewarding. Still, the shadow has a challenging nature. That’s why shadow work may follow a sequence of assimilation through long hours or psychotherapy and introspection, often guided by a certified professional. Here, the therapist helps clients reevaluate and recalibrate their behaviors and beliefs.
Ultimately, clients stay disciplined in asking themselves challenging questions about their lives. Like, how often do you question the nature of your reality?
#3: Dealing with Social Conditioning against Shadow Archetypes
Now, whereas shadow work is at an individual level, society has a significant influence in making the practice a success. Ideally, the world should be a platform for dialogue and constant experimentation. The shadow archetype ceases to be a moral problem and becomes a welcome part of our existence. If you find such ideas regrettable, it may mean that there are some shadow aspects of your life yet to be dealt with effectively.
Conclusion
Anyone who wants full control of their life must be willing to embrace their shadow archetype. It revolves around accepting all aspects of our lives; tolerating what we are afraid of alongside what we want. Here, we face, analyze, and internalize our fears and darkness. Otherwise, denying the existence of the dark side of your personality will make you see it in others even more.
Likewise, our society is packed with people whose actions are constantly at war with your intentions. That’s why; we should strive to define the moral imperatives that could alleviate our suffering. And, we should view everything beyond that with skepticism.
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