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12 Signs You’re Still Suffering From Unhealed Trauma

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It can be tricky to recognize the signs of unhealed trauma. Most people are not even aware of how their unhealed trauma is causing disruptions in their daily lives. Often, when you go through a traumatic event, there is some degree of dissociation that happens and you may essentially “block out” all, or part, of the event, so your awareness of the trauma isn’t accurate. However, there are 12 common signs of unhealed trauma that you can look for.

12 Signs Of Unhealed Trauma

This is how unhealed trauma can look like:

#1: Low self-esteem

Studies have shown that patients with PTSD can have very low self-esteem and also have feelings of worthlessness. If you’ve experienced neglect and abandonment in the past, if you’ve been hurt by someone you loved, it can lead you down a path of questioning your self-worth and struggling to feel good about yourself.

#2: Codependency in relationships

Any type of trauma can lead to codependent relationships, in which the person who experienced trauma feels completely and destructively dependent on another. Codependency can lead you to question if you are loved and worthy, if others are and can be available and responsive to you, and if the world is safe for you.

#3: Fear of being abandoned

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Fear of being abandoned is a constant worry for the active codependent. The fear of abandonment can come from many places, but its origin is usually within early experiences. Abandonment is a fear that children have when their parents are too far away, or there must be a separation such as going to school for the first time. In these circumstances, a child feels afraid to be separated and can feel that the separation is permanent – that the parent will not return. 

In adulthood, having a fear of abandonment may lead to many negative circumstances, such as:

  • feeling unworthy of love;
  • staying in a toxic relationship so you won’t be alone;
  • feeling grateful for even unhealthy attention from others;
  • feeling insecure and inferior when comparing yourself to others;
  • accepting unacceptable behavior;
  • using addictive behaviors to feel better about yourself and your life.

#4: Trouble asking for help

Do you struggle to communicate with others and open up to your friends and family about your trauma? If your trauma was caused by mistreatment it can be a real struggle for you to ask for help. You would rather stay silent, oppressing all feelings inside than reach out to others for help or support. You may also have a fear of rejection or judgment from others, or you may be afraid of appearing weak to those around you.

#5: Craving for external validation

How can an unhealthy craving for external validation look like? Not being able to confront people or disagree, changing your thoughts and beliefs because someone else either approves or disapproves and ascribing your self-worth to the approval of others. These are examples of reliance on external validation.

#6: An innate feeling of shame

unhealed trauma symptoms image

Shame is a negative self-judgment and viewing yourself as worthless. No one is immune to feeling shame when it comes to experiencing trauma. However, there are certain types of trauma that are responsible for the slow rise of this emotion, such as traumas caused by sexual violence, intimate partner abuse, and childhood abuse. The reason why these traumas are prime is that they are extremely dehumanizing and humiliating by nature, which is the perfect recipe for shame to form. Shame can become a catalyst to partake in self-destructive behaviors, self-blame, self-neglect, perfectionism, and even link to suicidal thoughts or attempts.

#7: Not being able to tolerate conflict

Nobody enjoys conflict. It makes most of us uncomfortable and is often has a negative impact on any relationship. Fortunately, with conscious communication and emotional intelligence, most relationships can survive conflict and thrive through it. However, that’s not always the case. If you are a trauma survivor, conflict can be so deregulating and triggering that you will try to avoid it at all costs. This can not only be detrimental to your mental health but can also cause long-term damage to your relationships.

Does your hypervigilance kick in when you sense someone getting angry or frustrated? Do you immediately freeze when you hear someone’s voice is getting louder? Do you feel panicked and overwhelmed by arising conflict so that you’re willing to do anything to make it stop? If you answered ‘yes’ to these questions chances are you are still suffering from unhealed trauma.

#8: Worrying about the future

Worrying about the future is one of the most common types of overthinking where we imagine possible problems or dangers. “Of course, anticipating problems or threats in the future is often a good thing to do! But helpful planning is different from unhelpful worry in that worry doesn’t actually lead to new information or insights that can be helpful. For example, your spouse is on a plane flight and you start worrying about different ways the plane could crash and kill your spouse. This kind of thinking doesn’t actually keep your spouse safe, plus it adds a lot of stress and anxiety to you.” – Nick Wignall

#9: Resisting positive change

Do you feel suspicious of positive changes? Do you feel guilt or shame whenever something good comes into your life? Do you feel like you don’t deserve happiness? If you feel that you don’t deserve anything good in life, that can be another sign of suffering from unhealed trauma.

#10: Fear of Failure

Many people are afraid of failure and it’s considered to be normal. However, if you develop a strong fear of failure, it can be unhealthy and can start to outweigh your motivation to succeed. You may start missing out on opportunities because of this, and it can also lead to insecurity. Being afraid to not always be the best can be instilled in you caused by unresolved trauma that can make you have negative beliefs in yourself and internalize your shortcoming.

#11: Difficulty standing up for yourself and asserting boundaries

what is spiritual emergency Image

If you have experienced trauma, you may have difficulty actively defending yourself, your desires, and your personal boundaries. Trauma impacts the way you understand and relate to your own boundaries.

Experiences that are very painful, or overwhelming, can flood your awareness and you may forget that you can say “no” to others who ask too much of you, don’t see, or respect your boundaries.

When others are pushing and crossing our boundaries, it can cause deep emotional damage so that you start believing that what you want or need or feel doesn’t really matter. Trauma can cause you to replace a healthy sense of your boundaries with a new belief that others are more important than you are, and that you need to keep other people happy and not make a problem.

#12: Being overtly agreeable

Agreeability seems like the quickest way to win approval. However, if you pretend to agree with someone/something just to keep everyone happy, you’re setting yourself and others up for future frustration.

Trauma Healing: Where To Start?

The first step of your healing journey is actually recognizing that you have trauma.

Here are some steps you can take to start healing:

#1: Seek out a therapist

Intuitive psychotherapy can be a good option to dive deeper into the root cause of your trauma.

#2: Be mindful of your body sensations

mindfulness in self-healing image

Most trauma survivors are disconnected from their bodies. By noticing your body sensations you will reconnect with your body and find out where your trauma is stored.

#3: Practice gentle yoga

Yoga practice will help you to come back into your body and start experiencing it as a safe place.

#4: Practice self-love and self-compassion

Self-love and self-compassion are crucial for healing from trauma. Be patient with your progress and be gentle with yourself.

#5: Build safe relationships

Develop conscious relationships with people who respond to you with love, kindness, and acceptance.

The Bottom Line

Trauma is a disconnective disorder, which means it does not usually get healed in isolation. Therefore, if you really want to heal from your trauma, you need to be connected to others. Then you create a new sense of self and a new future which involves redefining yourself in regards to meaningful relationships. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Give yourself time to fully heal and be happy!

Healing

What Is a Spiritual Bath & Why You Need One Right Now

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Spiritual baths have been used in many cultures and have been known since ancient times. These special bath rituals were designed to purify the aura, cleanse the soul, clear the mind, and heal the spirit. The main goal of such baths is to help clear any blockage that can lead to more serious illnesses and restore one’s energy levels.

So, if you feel emotionally exhausted, overwhelmed, or stressed, you definitely need to take a spiritual bath! Spiritual baths can also be used as a powerful manifestation tool to bring the desired benefits of life, such as love, abundance, success, creativity, etc.

In this article, we will introduce you to spiritual bath rituals and give you helpful tips on how to get the best experience out of them. Read on!

What Is a Spiritual Bath?

Before we start dwelling on the instructions and practical tips on how to take a spiritual bath, let us give a quick explanation of what a spiritual bath actually is.

A spiritual bath is a bath ritual that is designed to cleanse your mind and spirit by using powerful ingredients that charge the bathwater with healing vibrations that help you to remove blockages, toxic energies, and stressful situations that are no longer serving you in any constructive way. The spiritual regeneration occurs from soaking in warm water infused by the powerful essential oils, healing herbs, and crystals; as well as from setting a clear intention announced in a form of affirmation or mantra.

How to Take a Spiritual Bath?

what is a spiritual bath image

Step 1: Preparation

Before you start taking a spiritual bath and setting the intentions, you have to make sure that your bathroom is ready for the spiritual ritual. You need to transform your bathroom into a sacred space that resonates with spiritual intentions. Clean and declutter your bathroom and tub.

It would be great if you also paid attention to the Feng Shui of your bathroom and reorganize everything according to its principles. Check out our article 7 Feng Shui Bathroom Tips, Taboos, And Cures to learn more about it.

Clean your tub, straighten your countertops, and make room for the things you want to be surrounded by during your spiritual bath practice. Anything you bring into this practice such as oils, crystals, or candles should be intentionally picked to invoke a sense of your intended energy cleanse.

Step 2: Take a Shower

Take a quick shower and clean yourself.

Step 3: Set Your Intention

Decide on the intention of your spiritual bath. The energy you give to this bath is what you will get back. 

Step 4: Fill the Bathtub and Gather the Ingredients

Fill the bathtub with water at a temperature that feels most comfortable. As the tub is filling up, gather all the ingredients you need. You will need the ingredients that will be mixed directly into your bathwater, such as herbs, essential oils, and salts, as well as things that will complement the bath and the atmosphere, such as candles, incense, and crystals. You may want to light incense, palo santo stick, sage, or a few candles. Maybe you will want to play some meditative music that will relax your mind into a calm, meditative state.

Step 5: Say a Prayer or a Mantra

Before you get into the bathtub or as you are stirring in your ingredients, you may want to say a prayer, mantra, or intention aloud. It can be anything you want, as long as it aligns with your general intention for the spiritual bath.

Step 6: Bath for 30-40 Minutes 

Step into the bath and soak for about 20-30 minutes. Try and keep as much of your body submerged as possible. Cup your hands and gently pour the water over your head. As you relax in the water, clear your mind of all negative thoughts and focus on your intention to let go of all stress and negativity. While soaking, you can repeat your intention, mantra, or positive affirmations to charge yourself with positive healing energy.

Step 7: Let Your Body Breathe

self-care rituals image

After you get out of the bath, let your body air dry naturally rather than with a towel. This will help your body continue to take in the positive energy. When you are mostly dry, get comfortable and rest for at least 20-30 minutes. You may want to lay down, focus on your breathing, meditate and just relax. 

Bath Ingredients

There are many different ways you can prepare spiritual baths with different ingredients. You can use just one or two ingredients or opt for even more. It is entirely up to you! Here are some options to choose from:

#1: Salts

Using natural salts for your spiritual bath will help you to release any kind of toxic energies, negative thoughts, and feelings. Pink Himalayan salt, natural sea salt, and Epsom salt are great for this purpose. Use 2-3 good handfuls or less.

However, make sure you are not using regular table salts for your baths because they contain anti-caking agents and have gone through a refining process that has removed many of the beneficial minerals.

#2: Baking Soda

Using baking soda for spiritual baths helps to purify your aura from any negative energies. In addition, soaking in such a bath leaves your skin feeling soft and smooth. Use ¼ cup-2 cups.

#3: Rose Water

Boil fresh rose petals until all of the color is out of the petals. Let them cool and add to a warm bath. Feel free to add in some extra petals, fresh or dried, to your bath for extra aroma.

Rose water makes an excellent spiritual bath to uplift moods and make you feel more self-love if you’ve not been taking good care of yourself lately. Throw in some rose petals for good measure and let the fragrance of the bath fill your spirits with loving energy and appreciation of who you are.

#4: Lavender

Lavender bath salt image

For your spiritual bath, you may want to use whole buds boiled in water or pure essential oil. Lavender promotes relaxation by its calming effect on your mental and emotional state. Such a bath is a great stress reliever. Use enough lavender to produce an aroma.

#5: Carnations

Boil fresh pink and red carnations in a pot of water with honey and coconut milk. Then strain the mixture to keep the liquid as an ingredient for the bath. Taking a bath with such a mixture helps to heal a broken heart and infuse your aura with love vibrations.

Here is a list of some more ideas for what you can use in a spiritual bath:

Essential Oils: Sandalwood, Palo Santo, Eucalyptus, Patchouli, Lemon, Frankincense, May Chang, Clary Sage.

Herbs, flowers, plants: sage, eucalyptus leaf, juniper berries, peppermint leaf, angelica root, bay.

Crystals: moonstone, amethyst, labradorite, smoky quartz, selenite, obsidian, clear quartz, citrine.

The Bottom Line

A spiritual bath is a wonderful self-care ritual that each of us needs. Anytime you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, it is important to take time for yourself so a break like this can be helpful. This can be something you want to include into your weekly routine or during your day of self-care. Taking time for a spiritual bath will definitely help you to regain balance in life and feel more energized, calm, and peaceful.

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Healing

The Art of Deep Listening: A Healing Practice for Suffering Souls

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Are you battling anxiety or depression? Does waking up each day feel like a struggle? If so, you could be having undigested emotions weighing you down. Huh? See, trauma, abuse, or a sudden illness can make us have unpleasant emotions leading to soul loss. Unless you start your healing process, these emotions remain hidden in your subconscious, causing havoc to your life for years to come. Indeed, we can never wish away our unpleasant feelings. But we can deal with them through the art of deep listening.

What Is Deep Listening?

Deep listening is a form of mindful meditation whereby you become fully present to your inner self or those around you. Simply put, it is a spiritual practice of listening to connect. Here, you engage in quiet moments that help you awaken your buried emotions.

Similarly, you nurture a connection with anyone talking to you at that moment, sharing your goals, dreams, fears, and concerns. Hence, it entails listening to yourself or others to form a connection.

Active Listening vs. Deep Listening

Active listening refers to you choosing to be fully present in a conversation. It forms the basis of deep listening because you focus on what the other person is saying as you become an active listener. Deep listeners go a step further to connect to those non-verbal communications from the other person. More so, deep listening includes listening to our emotions to connect to them.

Why Do We Need to Practice Deep Listening?

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Listening with intention helps you understand your surrounding and the people closest to you. In turn, you learn how to best respond to your emotions and those of others. This understanding is necessary when undertaking your soul loss healing process. Below are more benefits of deep listening:

#1: Develop Resistance Against Surrounding Distractions

We live in a digital age where smartphones, computers, and other smart gadgets distract us all day. These technologies make it almost impossible to maintain eye contact when talking to someone else. Likewise, they eat into our self-care time, robbing us of a chance to connect to our inner feelings. Deep listening encourages us to maintain undivided attention to our inner self or those near us.

#2: Resist the Temptation to Respond Without Deep Thought

One of the barriers to effective communication is selective listening. Here, we choose what we want to hear, then formulate responses that we think are suitable. A biased listener is always quick to offer solutions without taking into account the other person’s feelings. Likewise, if we never take time to listen to our inner self, we may judge ourselves based on the stigma surrounding our conditions.

#3: Facilitates Soul Loss Healing Process

Have you been diagnosed with a mental illness? Do you feel like you are going crazy because that is what society brands you? If so, you may find yourself hiding away from friends and family, fearing being caught off guard by their out-of-control emotions.

However, did you know that a bit of deep listening practice can unearth the unresolved emotions behind mental illness? 

A person who understands the root cause of their mental conditions can practice self-care and have self-compassion for healthy living because shadow emotions are never permanent. Mindful meditation allows you to change your emotional triggers, hence, facilitate the soul loss healing process. 

Deep Listening Must Be Intentional

Now, anyone can practice deep listening at any time or place. However, did you know that not everyone can listen without bias or aiming to be a problem solver? Yes, deep listening is not easy. It takes time and practice to develop the skills.

The Techniques

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Now that we have an idea of what deep listening is all about, here are some top deep listening techniques you can start practicing today:

#1: Heart-Gut Centering

Are you making a life-changing decision? Find a quiet place at home or outdoors. Set up your mat or pillows to sit comfortably. Place one hand on your stomach and the other against your chest. Concentrate on listening to your inner voice. What do you hear?

The head, heart, and gut are the centers of our decision-making. The head is our rational brain, the heart is the emotional brain, and the gut is the intuitive brain. There are lots of instances where we follow our gut feelings or heart feelings. These are the times where logical thinking using our brain may not be adequate in assessing emotions.

Listening to your heart and gut allows you to be a rational thinker who weighs your feelings and emotions. In turn, you avoid cognitive dissonance, a state of inner conflict that can lead to anxiety and depression

#2: Listening to the Surrounding Voices

When was the last time you were still and listened to voices all around you? It may be the whistling trees in your backyard, a shaky door, a ticking clock, or the sound of your breathing. Whatever you get to hear, allowing yourself to connect to your surrounding gets you into a mindful state. This awareness state refreshes your mind, expands your thought process, and renews your wisdom and intelligence.

#3: Journal Your Thoughts

Are you feeling lonely, depressed, or in a crisis? Put what you are feeling in writing. Conscious writing is an excellent way to practice deep listening. You use pen and paper as an avenue for your creative energy and ideas to flow. Doing so gives you mental clarity, regaining a sense of sanity when overwhelmed with emotions.

Here are some tips to get you started:
  • Use a pen and paper instead of your smartphone or notebook. Journaling your thought this way is real and tangible.
  • Write it as it is, immediately the thought pops in your head. Do not overthink.
  • Maintain a dream journal.  Capture what you remember from your dreams, then reflect on it.
  • Grammatical errors are allowed. What matters is getting your thoughts on paper.
  • Read aloud what you have written. It will give you a chance to hear your thoughts and voice your unspoken pain and trauma.

Conclusion

Deep listening is necessary if you want to develop mindful thinking and grow your emotional intelligence. These two aspects ensure you stay in tune with your inner self and be more susceptible to non-verbal communications from others. That way, you live in the present, embrace your uniqueness, and cut yourself some slack, especially when undergoing a challenging emotional experience. 

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Crystal Quiz: What’s Your Healing Stone?

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Crystal Quiz Image

Crystal Quiz

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What's the biggest obstacle on your way?

What brings you the biggest joy?

What do you lack in life?

What do you want to attract into your life?

What do you want to get rid of?

What would you like to feel more of?

What things could you use help with?

What is the most important thing to you right now?

Healing crystals have different uses. What do you want one for?

If one thing would make you a better person, it would be ...

Which negative emotion are you most likely to feel?

Life is nothing without goals. What kind of change do you want over the next year?

What is your main goal in your spiritual work?

Which of the following are you most interested in learning more about?

What ability would you like to nurture right now?

Crystal Quiz: What's Your Healing Stone?
Black Tourmaline

Black Tourmaline Image

Black Tourmaline is your secret weapon! It will help you to call on the natural powers of protection. This powerful stone has the ability to transmute negative energies into something positive. If you struggle to feel safe, find yourself feeling lost and vulnerable in this world, and often feel like your own emotions are spinning out of control, then Black Tourmaline is what you need to bring yourself back to grounding. In addition, it cleanses your aura and gives you psychic protection from negative energies. Black Tourmaline helps to get rid of negative thoughts, stress, and anxiety. It also supports the immune system and balances the Root chakra. And, what's the most important nowadays - Black Tourmaline is a great EMF protection tool! If you suffer from nightmares, astral attacks, energy vampires, toxic environments, or any kinds of psychic attacks, then Black Tourmaline is the stone you need right now! To activate your Black Tourmaline, use this affirmation: "I banish negativity. I am protected on all levels."
Rose Quartz

rose quartz quiz image

Your healing crystal is Rose Quartz! This beautiful crystal is intricately connected to the Heart chakra, therefore, it is often used in helping the heart heal from the pain or trauma left from deep emotional wounds. Rose Quartz is also used as a calling card for those who want to attract love in their lives. By unblocking and healing your Heart chakra, this crystal puts you back in alignment so you feel connected, comforted, and open to all the possibilities that a joyous life can bring. Rose Quartz is a crystal that teaches deep compassion, trust, the art of mothering oneself, and the harmony that healing can bring. It restores harmony in relationships, balances emotions, promotes self-love, soothes grief and heartache, amplifies creativity and imagination, helps to raise your self-esteem and restore confidence. To activate your Rose Quartz crystal, use this affirmation: "I deserve love and compassion. I radiate love. I am love."
Citrine

Citrine image

Your healing crystal is citrine! Citrine is like a summer holiday for your soul! It brings the power of positivity and a burst of bright energy into your life. It works wonders when it comes to warming your physical body and bringing uplifting moods. An instant pick me up, Citrine brings a bounty of energy and can be an amazing healing tool to those who suffer from chronic fatigue or other conditions that run your personal resources low. This is the stone that will pull you up by your bootstraps but not leave you out of balance. It helps to keep the thyroid working well, stimulates a healthy digestive system, improves your blood circulation, and keeps allergies and all kinds of skin irritations on the down-low. Citrine can help you to fight phobias through the gentle flow of healing energy. When you feel the flow of sweet optimism, this helps you to tap into your power of manifestation and attract abundance, prosperity, and success into your life. Citrine will also boost your willpower and confidence so that you'll be able to achieve your goals. To activate your Citrine crystal, use this affirmation: "I step into my power with confidence."
Amethyst

amethyst image

Your healing crystal is amethyst. It is renowned for bringing a sense of calm and clarity to our chaotic world. Those who keep this crystal close will find that they feel comforted, grounded, and soothed in a truly uplifting way. Amethyst centers the emotions, heals grief, loss, and all shades of sadness. It nurtures meditation, encourages restful sleep, helps us to divine our deeper paths through life, promotes deep transformation in our lives. Amethyst kindles the Third eye to awaken and grants the sixth sense to bloom into being. This crystal helps us to awaken our intuition, develop our psychic abilities, activate spiritual awareness, and let our inner wisdom flow. It also helps to relieve stress and strain, soothe irritability, balance mood swings. Moreover, amethyst dispels anger, rage, fear and anxiety, and dissolves negativity. To activate your amethyst crystal, use this affirmation: "I am connected with my Higher Self and trust my intuition to guide me in the right direction".

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